1. Fear

Fear. One simple word that could make you feel a lot of emotions. It could drive you insane for absolutely nothing. Sometimes fear is needed for one to avoid certain situations.We live in a world where fear is everywhere. Where people fear things that are beyond being feared. I fear love.

As my mind trails off to its usual world, I hear a sound. The sound is distant yet close. I try to focus on the sound so that my mind can come back. I hate it when this happens, when I have to find a way to get out of my mind before I drown further argh. Why can't I just wake up like a normal person.

My eyes suddenly open only to realise that the sound I have been hearing is my alarm clock. I slowly rub my forehead to soothe my headache.

If only I drank my sleeping pills I wouldn't be experiencing this shit argh I hate my life. I hate not being normal.

I slowly got out of my bed only for the cold breeze to hit my exposed skin. They is something about it every morning that just makes me more awake. That just clears my mind instead of crawling back to bed for warmth. I like being cold. Feeling cold

I went to my closet to layout my options for what I will wear to school today, before heading to the bathroom. The minute the warm water came in contact with my skin, my body automatically relaxed but my mind was still filled with my usual thoughts. I quickly showered and got out wrapping a towel around my bare body, heading to brush my teeth.

I went to my mirror to quickly get my done. My hair was a mess and I had eyes bags that just show my lack of sleep. I have blue eyes, brown black hair that is almost long enough to touch my butt. After brushing my hair and letting it lay down. I went back to my room checking the clock on my nightstand. 6:45 it reads.

Taking the clothes I laid on my bed, I chose to wear my black denim jeans, white and black vans with a plain white shirt along with my black and white addidas school bag.

Heading downstairs to get my make myself a cup of coffee, silence welcomes me to my world. The house is pretty big for two people, so I am used to the silence. This silence is lets me think about my problems and only one thing is enough to distract me. I opened the cupboard to take out the packet of gum and putting it in my bag, I took one and ate it instantly blocking some of the thoughts. Gum distracts sometimes. Leaving the coffee machine on I went upstairs to wake up my little brother Sakani.

Sakani is 6 years old and although his room is across my room I prefer to wake him up at 7:15. Opening his door I went to his bathroom to open the warm water for his bath.

I head back to his room to open his curtains only for the light to make my headache even worse.

"Kani, wake up baby you have to get ready for school". I said as I rubbed his shoulder to wake him up. His blue small eyes slowly opened and he softly rubbed them.

"The light is hurting my eyes, may you close the curtains please Sky". His voice came out as a whisper and his lips in a pout. He is too cute, I can never bring myself to say no to him.

I closed the curtains as he got out of bed to take a bath. Heading to his closet to take out his clothes for school. Considering that Sakani is very picky I chose blue denim jeans with his black and white airforce with a red and white t-shirt along with his avengers bag. Sakani is obsessed with superheroes especially Spiderman and iron man. I went to the bathroom to quickly wash him. After washing him, making sure he brushes his teeth well and lotioning him I went back to the kitchen to get everything ready for school.

"Morning Sky". Sakani said heading towards me to give me a hug and a kiss on my cheek which I had to bend down for him to reach my cheek.

"Morning baby". I said ruffling his hair.

"Sky, not my hair please. You know I don't like it when you do that". He said causing me to chuckle and rasie my hands. This boy has an obsession with his hair, lets just say he prefers everything to be in order.

"OCD much Kani, and you are my baby so I can ruffle your hair anytime I want". I said taking a sip from my coffee. "Anyways what do you want to eat today? You don't have a lot of options since we need to go do grocery shopping this weekend". I said.

" May we buy donuts at the bakery on the way to school and a milkshake, please". He said giving me puppy eyes. Who can even say no to that?

"Only this once Kani, you know sugar is not healthy for you especially not in the morning". He smiled and ran to hug me.

"Thank you, let's head out now". He said while running out of the door. I smiled and followed him, locking the door behind me.

Heading towards my black Audi A4, that my aunt bought for me last year for my 17th birthday. The only nice thing that my evil aunt has ever done for me. Not that she had a choice .

Sakani opened the backseat as I got in the car and putting on my own and Sakani's seat belt on. I closed my eyes and focused on the gum I am chewing to distract thoughts of that night. Driving brings memories of that night.

"Are you ready baby?". I said turning to look at him after my thoughts situation. He just gave me a thumbs up and a smile that looked forced.

Well that's unusual

The car ride was quiet which was unusual considering that Sakani is forever talking. We got his donuts on our way to school. By the time I pulled up to Sakani's school he was done eating and the time was 8:15 meaning that I am 15 minutes late for school. Sakani's school starts at 8:30 and that's the only thing that matters; him always getting to school early and not me.

"Here we are Kani, time to get out". I said turning around to face him with a smile. My smile suddenly turned to a frown when I saw him crying."What's wrong baby?". I said unbuckling his seatbealt so that he can seat on the passenger seat.

"I don't want to go to school, I'm scared that they won't like me and that you won't come back for me". He said sniffling.

"Kani look at me". I said lift up his face and wiping his tears. "If they don't like you that's their loss baby, because you are my bundle of joy. You are my baby Kani and I will always come back for you always, so you are pretty much stuck with me". I said the last part tickling him. He lets out a small laugh.

"You promise Sky?". He said his blue eyes shining bright. I always wonder if mine can ever shine that bright, but pushed the thought down knowing that it will only bring more thoughts about my past.

"I pinky promise baby". I said holding out my pinky finger and crossing it with his. "What does your name mean again? ".I asked him as I leaned to the backseat to take his things for school.

"Joy! but more like Sky's bundle of joy". He said with so much energy making me smile.

I opened the door to get out as Sakani got out from the other side to come and held my hand.

"That's my baby". I leaned down to kiss his cheek.

As we were approaching the school gates I hear whispers that were quite hard to ignore . 'She is too young to be a mother. She doesn't even dress like a mother. The poor child will never have a proper mother'. I ignore them as per usual. Everyone thinks that Sakani is my son and not my brother. Which makes absolutely no sense because it would mean that I had Kani when I was 11.

As we got to the gate we stopped walking and I kneeled down to be his height.

"I love you baby, have a great day okay". I said smiling at him and kissing his cheek.

"I love you the most Sky have a great day too and no detention please Sky. I want to go home early today". He said kissing my cheek and hugging me. I smiled at him as he went inside the school.

I doubt I won't get detention considering that I am almost 30 minutes late but who cares. I always get detention.