Chapter 8: Get Loco with Botany

"I can smell her scent! Your highness! She is not with the priestess!" The young vampire's eyes opened as soon as he smelled the scent of his prey.

"Is she? Now isn't she fearless. Am I right, zizter?" Jonah swiped his tongue across his sharp fangs and faced his sister.

"Should I rip your neck? I told you your French accent is embarrassing! Stop it. We're not even French, you lunatic bastard," said Jeddah, Jonah's older sister.

"Excusez-moi, my zizter. I quite like this French accent," Jonah said.

Her sister threw him a death glare, and he froze. There was nothing more fearful than his sister Jeddah. Jonah might be the king, but the family power passed down to his sister. She put everyone on her leash, even him.

"Ah. There is nothing more fragrant than a chosen one's scent. I feel, what's the word? Victorious." Jeddah's eyes turned emerald green as two horns emerged from both sides of her temple.

"Now that she's out of the priestess' circle, we can start our game. She's in the spirit world now. We can't chase her through Legba, but I know a way." She arched her eyebrows as a sign of confidence. Jeddah became the most powerful vampire after their parents perished, killed by the famous vampire slayer, Mergara.

"Sister. We can finally get our revenge for our parents' death. We can kill that bitch now, along with her husband. The priestess is hiding her daughter very well, and now that she voluntarily came to our platter, this will be very easy." Jonah let out a chuckle.

"Calm down, my brother. Great Rolly is gifted with a vision. He already knows we're on them. Uncle is waiting for this moment. Everything is according to the plan." Jeddah's fangs showed their glory when she smiled from ear to ear.

Mergara killed both of their parents during a battle between the vampires and the priestesses. Mergara had been hunting them for years and finally got a hold of them, conspiring with the priestesses to kill the king and queen of the vampires. That left poor Jeddah and Jonah alone as orphans until their uncle kept them. Jeddah was only 15 when her mother died in her arms. Her rage and fury fueled her grudge to seek revenge.

"Uncle. All is going well." Jeddah, even the most powerful, bowed to Elir, her mother's only brother. A white-haired man limping with a scar on his left eye strolled the floor towards Jeddah. He kissed his niece's forehead, and all the vampires bowed to him.

"Jeddah. You have been a great servant to your people. And tonight, it is on you to finish this. You need to finish the priestesses and the one who killed your parents. Let the vampires rise!" All cheered to Elir's statement. Jonah howled as a sign of his respect, and then the rest howled.

---

Sera and I had been walking for almost an hour now. My feet hurt, and all we saw was white fog.

"Where are we heading, Ro? My feet hurt. Uh, shit. I need to work on my cardio," Sera panted.

"I'm thirsty. Why didn't I think of bringing water?" She pulled her hair out of frustration.

"Oh hail, mighty and meek Adjassou. Grant us clean water to drink. I offer you these bamboo shoots for your kindness and generosity." I overheard Sera chanting something and calling on someone.

"Hey. What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm dying of dehydration, Ro. Adjassou is a goddess of spring water; she loves bamboo shoots, and maybe she can grant us safe water to drink," she said.

We heard a small flow of water not far from where we stood. The fog lifted, revealing a bountiful forest with many fruit-bearing trees, fresh air, and green pastures—like a perfect description of the Garden of Eden.

We saw clean, running water flowing from the space between two big rocks into a basin-shaped rock that was obviously for drinking. Sera left the bamboo shoots in front of the rocks, and we both bowed and thanked the goddess for granting us safe water.

We drank our hearts out and satisfied our thirst. Sera took a bamboo container and fetched water in it.

"That fruit looks delicious. Wait here, I'll get some—"

"No, Ro. We need to ask Loco for his blessings. He is a god of wild vegetation. From fruits to herbs. Herbs used for killing and poisoning. Loco is an intelligent trickster. One wrong move and you die out of poison. According to legend, Loco is a generous god. People devastated by natural phenomena came to his gardens and asked for vegetation. To start a new life, a reborn. He gave seeds and seedlings to people to have their own source of food. Soon, dark sorcerers and people with bad intentions came to Loco to ask for harmful herbs, but Loco declined them and instead gave them baskets full of fresh fruits and vegetables. Those people robbed and destroyed his garden, and he became furious and angry. After that incident, Loco lost his empathy and trust in humans. Those who are worthy of his blessings will be blessed bountifully," Sera explained.

"We need to pack food. We don't have much to eat. These will give us protein and calories to keep us going. How do we ask him?" I knew we were here for good intentions. I was not here for the harmful herbs or to steal anything. We were merely asking for food. I wasn't afraid if I knew what I was doing was right. Yes. There was nothing to be afraid of.

"Wait. Let me think. Try pulling one of the fruits from the trees. But don't eat it, okay? We want him to see the impression of us stealing, but we are not definitely stealing. He doesn't usually come when people pray or ask for something. His trust in humans is gone. So we need to somewhat provoke him," Sera said, looking nervous but determined.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked her.

"We need to set out a bait to trap him," she replied.

"Is the bait referring to me?" She's unbelievable.

I rolled my eyes at her and eyed a juicy pink fruit shining above my head. I reached for it, grabbed its body, and prepared to pull it off.

I looked at Sera and heaved a sigh.

"Moment of truth," Sera said.

Nothing happened. The surrounding remained tranquil. Then he must have allowed us to have some of his fruits.

"Oh shit. That's bad." I heard Sera. The look in her eyes screamed fright.

"What?!" I sensed nothing bad about this.

"Look! The fruit!" The pink color of the fruit was slowly fading into a blackish hue. It felt hot—burning hot! It felt like I was holding hot coal. I quickly dropped the fruit. It hit the ground, and the blackish hue spread like an infection. It spread everywhere, to the trees, whose bark became mossy and decayed. Leaves withered and dried out as soon as they touched the ground. The once bountiful and calm forest turned into a horrible, Tim Burton-esque forest. Everything was dark and ugly.

I took out my steel batons and positioned them firmly in front of me, gripping their handles tightly, ready to strike anyone who might attack us.

The fruit rolled in front of us and started moving. Wait—what?

It started moving! Imagine having a bunch of worms inside a fruit, the inside moving like an alien baby in a human stomach. Tiny sprouts began growing out of the fruit, growing bigger and bigger, slowly forming into something like a human shape. Picture Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy. Exactly!

I watched in horror while Sera took a handful of greyish powder from her container.

"So you dare to steal from my garden!" His voice was enormous and deep. This was the god of wild vegetation, Loco.

He was a tall, well-built man with little sprouts for hair, long locks of sprouts at shoulder level. His eyes were forest green with eyelashes reciprocating his eye color. Different colored leaves enveloped his lower half, creating a gradient down to the ground, fading out like an illusion—more like a train on a wedding gown. Small sprouts popped from the ground wherever he went.

"We didn't mean to steal. We just want to have some fruits for our journey. Your, um, God-ness?" I didn't know how to address him. I was just spewing nonsense out of nervousness.

"Is it hard to just ask for some?" he stared intently at me. He was staring directly into my soul.

"Hey. I told you we could ask him. This is all your fault," I said to Sera, who threw a confused-victim look at me.

"Why me? That's what the legend says—that he doesn't come when he's called because of his trust issues with humankind!" she defended herself.

There was a small pause of silence between us as we looked at Loco, who was growing more infuriated.

"So you wish to steal from my garden? I will let you take anything you want; I don't care! But you need to prove it and earn the right to be judged!"

The ground shook, and three stumps of wood emerged. The first had a purple liquid in a coconut shell with purple leaves beside it. The second had a yellowish-colored liquid in a coconut shell with ginger beside it. The third was a pulver

ized brown powder with a dried leaf and a fresh brown leaf beside it. It seemed like we were about to be tested.

"These three have one antidote, one poison, and one medicine. These are widely used by folk remedies to aid sickness and by sorcerers to kill. They can be ingredients for potions or spells, used for enchantments or curses, and for dark magic. One wrong answer, and you will die." Loco introduced the three choices, a botanical test.

"I will give you three questions and a special question. Pass them all, and you will be granted what you seek, with an interest." The fortune teller was right; these gods were like businessmen.

"Are you willing to continue, or do you want to quit and suffer the wrath of my anger?" Obviously, we were choosing the first option.

"Fire away. But what if we win? What would we gain? Just some silly fruits? I think that's lame and unfair, don't you? What if we win, and you give us the fruits and a special gift? You can choose what the gift is, but it must be special. Something you don't usually give to humans. But if we lose, you can take this bracelet and kill us both. You can start with her." I pointed to Sera, who gave me an angry face. I was confident. I needed to take this as an advantage. If we were going to face Kalfu, I needed to gather all the best ammunition I could grab. The best of my ability. Please take the bait.

He arched his brows and smirked. Yes! That was a good sign. He looked at my bracelet and then at me. I knew this bracelet was something valuable. Not monetarily, but valuable to these immortals.

"Deal!" Yes! He took it.

"What the fuck are you thinking? How can a mere human like you challenge a god? Are you insane? You're going to get us killed, you dumb bitch!" Sera was hyperventilating, startled.

"Relax. I know we can do this because you can do it! I'm confident you can answer all these botanical questions. I think," I told her.

"What if I don't? We'll be like pounded ginger later," she said.

"That is later. What's important is the present!" She looked at me with killer, vengeful eyes.

"If we come out of this place alive, I'm going to fucking kill you." She punched my shoulder lightly, and we faced Loco.

"First question…"

Please pray for us.