As Miles sat waiting in his ship which was anchored directly above the planets north axis, his thoughts wandered. He thought of the inconceivably scalding heat death he was about to inflict on this planet. He thought to himself that he should somehow mark this occasion by being present and somber as he carried out these grand orders. But he couldn't help from slipping in to a daydream.
The closest thing to heat death he could imagine was a memory of a day in his youth, the stuffy clothes he was made to wear to a prayer service in the town square. The heat produced by a the frayed ozone layer of his foggy skied planet was just as oppressive as the heavy handed sermon delivered from the pulpit over the sweating masses.
"The lord is like the sun, he makes the seed sprout forth from the earth, and yet also he is the source of death for the ignorant in the desert of their sins." "Wander in to the desert of sin and suffer the eternal flame of anguish from which return to safety is impossible; stay steadfast in the garden of his grace and receive every abundance and treasure, once one turns away from grace they may never be allowed to return."
Miles felt as if he himself was about to burst in to flames. He looked up at his mother who also looked like she was about to fall over but making a masochistic effort to absorb every word faithfully, though it's meaning was clearly lost on her — their planet had long since turned in to a biological waste land at the hand of the arkie's mass extraction of every natural resource. If there was in fact a cursed desert from which escape was impossible, they were standing directly in the center of it.
The lector would return this evening to his cooled and air filtered quarters on the arky ship while the masses he preached to would continue to suffer their nights breathing thick hot polluted air.
He gripped her sweating hand felt as if he were about to faint. "Mommy I'm hot, can I have some water?"
"Shhhhhh!" She hissed, "listen to the lords words; offer up your suffering to God"
He couldn't understand why or how God would want to make good use of his suffering. But his mothers words were just another harshness he was forced to accept without reason or talk back, like so much else in his world.
He gripped his mothers hand tighter as his vision began to blur, "the punishment for sin is eternal darkness" were the last words he heard from the pulpit before his vision went black and he collapsed.
He dreamed that he was walking through marble halls, he entered a large gallery where between glistening pillars he saw a field of clouds stretching as far as can be seen. This castle was located somewhere in heaven.
Before him there stood a massive throne and on it sat a radiant woman.
"Miles" she beamed "sit with me"
He wasn't sure if she was speaking with her mouth or if the words transmitted from her mind to his.
He climbed up on to her lap. Her clothes were cool to the touch satin and silk.
"You are so special, Miles." said the woman. "You have been chosen." He looked up in to her eyes, which were deep blue as the sky before midnight.
"You don't belong in this world" she whispered. "Your place is among the stars"
[add more here, expose or something
Miles looked up again in to the eyes of this beautiful and mysterious woman. She gave him a warm and understanding smile. He felt unconditionally safe and protected. The shadows cast along the ground by the pillars of the palace grew longer and longer while the young miles napped peacefully in the lap of this woman, all the while she stroked his hair and hummed softly to him. The golden twilight that bathed the throne room eventually faded when the sun dipped below the field of clouds outside and was replaced with the cool light reflecting from the moon. The woman softly shook miles shoulders "Miles, wake up, there's something I want to show you."
She lifted him off the throne and led him by the hand to the edge of the room where the great vista of clouds could be seen. The moon was large and bright and stars littered the sky.
"Look there, Miles" she pointed.
He followed the line of her finger to a small cluster of stars.
"That there is your ancestral home." She beamed at him as she said this. "You have been born in this body you now inhabit, to a family, on a planet far away. But these are just the small details of your assignment. Some day the time will come for you to be called home. I will be waiting for you, along with the rest of your true family."
Miles looked up into her eyes, she gave him a knowing look. He felt more seen than he had ever experienced, somewhere deep down he was absolutely convinced that she was speaking the truth.
"And Miles"
"Yes?"
"One more thing…"
She began shouting, "What are you doing, boy! Get up!" He watched as her tender features warped in to the tired and life hardened face of his own mother on earth. He found himself lying in the middle of a circle of people. His mother was clutching his shoulders and shaking him while a man with a wet rag was wiping his face.
"He's awake!" The man said.
"Praise the lord" said his mother. "god is gracious and merciful"
Miles thought this wasn't the time to go on quoting scriptures but he was thankful that his mother was showing at least some investment in his "earthly" welfare.
"We should get him out of this heat" said the man in the crowd.
"But the sermon is not over yet" protested his mother.
"Give the boy a break, he's heard enough of the lords word today, can't you see that if he stays out here any longer he's liable to die"
"It's better that my child dies and than live to ignore the lords words."
"Suit yourself" said the man. he handed miles the wet rag. "Stay safe boy" and walked away.
"Stand up straight." His mother barked.
Miles spent the rest of the afternoon sweating in the hot sun on the verge of collapsing a second time. But he felt like he was able to withstand it now. He knew that he was chosen. Someday he would leave this sullied world behind, first chance he could get he would take his ticket to the stars.
Back hovering above the planet Miles woke up from his daydream. He had sacrificed so much of himself to realize the dream he had as a child. And now as he hovered above this planet about make the orders to destroy it, he wondered if it had all been worth it.
But unfortunately there wasn't any time to consider existential thoughts any further, the last of the ships under his command has readied their positions and he was receiving a transmission from the host mother.
"Miles, you have been chosen, do not take this honor lightly, your deeds today will secure your path towards sainthood in the holy order of arkangeles."
He looked over the world beneath him and imagined the towns, people and settlements within it. Maybe even people like his mother, and little boys like he was who also dreamed of someday living amongst the stars.
He felt sorry now that all he felt was numbness when faced with the extermination of an entire world. But he couldn't go back to his old world- his old life, there was no turning back now. If he didn't pull the trigger someone else would.
Until now, it didn't really matter what the orders were; what was most important was that he protect his dream, that he never end up back in the squalor of his youth. He didn't agree with the task at hand yet he nearly didn't hesitate because to him there was no question as to whether or not to take orders… no matter what they were he always executed without question. When he signed up for the arkangeles fleet he signed on with whatever would inevitably occur. And it wasn't his place to decide what those occurrences were. His priority was that he have his bunk to return to, and his future far away from home.
He began activating a series of safety switches on a panel inside of his craft, and then there was the last button encased in glass. His hand hovered above it. He faltered. Thoughts of the previous morning flashed before his eyes. The hive mother violating his mind and body was still painfully fresh in his mind; an image of himself as a hopeful young boy then appeared. He saw his own reflection in the panel in front of him - he had transformed in to a hollowed out killing machine. He felt a pang of regret, he was about to make a decision that would define his legacy forever; that would last long after he was gone or entered the reliquary. Was this really going to be his life's defining moment? Was it all leading up to this? Mass death and destruction? Was this his true place among the stars?
"Miles, what's the hold up? We're waiting for your orders." The hive mother transmitted.
"Abort mission" he announced through the radio. "Abort abort"
"Miles! Now is not the time for insubordination! Make the orders or I'll do it myself!" Seethed the hive mother.
"You'll have to make that call, then." He muttered softly. "I've got the final engage button here in my craft"
"That's not a problem my dearest soldier." The hive mother said bitterly. "I'll simply preform a manual over ride, after which your blasphemous insubordination will be severely punished."
A manual override was not a way for the hive mother to control miles' craft, but rather to directly control his body via his suit with neural implants and connections.
"All ships engage, await my command!" Shouted the hive mother through the radio.
Just then miles felt a sickening dark sensation crawling up his spinal column. The hive mother was invading his body one spinal disk at a time. First he felt his feet seize up, then his legs and lower abdomen.
His legs froze, he couldn't move them, then his chest, his arms and neck.
He stopped breathing. "At least remember to let me breathe!" He transmitted to the hive mother.
"Not to worry miles, when we're done here your little stunt will have the question of your continued breathing be last priority to the arkangeles." The host mother hissed.
She held his lungs and then finally let him have a few gasps to himself. She was toying with him now. Then he felt himself lose control of the muscles in his chest, arms and forearms. Through shaky blurred vision he saw his hand reaching for the engage button.
He shouted in protest while his fist slammed down on to the button and the ships spread across the planet formed a grid of white hot light over its surface. The skin of creatures below began bubbling upon being exposed to the rays. Those bubbles produced pustule and then burst spattering blood.
The entire planet was screaming in unison, every sentient being was in anguish. Plants were not spared. Upon being exposed to the light, their cellular structures imploded. On a macro scale it appeared as if they were melting. Every living thing on the planet exposed to the light would be dead in a matter of minutes. Those creatures who managed to take cover under ground would be work for the clean up crew. A team dispatched to deal with any leftover "threats".
But even then, the surface of the planet would be highly radioactive for the months to come. Those creatures who dared come on to the surface would die within a few weeks. Whether they were discovered by the arkangeles or not.
Life would never thrive again on this planet. Just as was intended.
Miles sat shuddering in his capsule. The host mother's transmission came through. "Now miles, you started this mission and you will finish it."
His body now was under complete control he could only protest in his mind, only his thoughts were his own now.
He watched as his hands maneuvered the ships controls and brought him closer to the surface of the planet.
He heard his mouth shout in to the receiver though he barely recognized the words. He ordered a low flying sweep of the planet's surface checking for any remaining signs of life.
His eyes darted towards a monitor in front of him. Major settlements were marked on a topographical map. He chartered a course towards the main proto-urban hub that until a few moments ago was a bustling center of commerce and culture for inhabitants of this place.
His ship hovered above the settlement and he shuttled down. The suit protected him from the radiation of the purifying light as well as any atmospheric conditions that were not viable for humans.
When he touched ground a squad of arkies were there to greet him. He shouted — still against his will — a command to search and destroy. The settlement was a mass of clay buildings, intricately connected via rooftop openings, tunnels and ladders.
He wandered through an endless maze of rooms, his vision was blurry, and he felt sick, yet the host mother kept perfect control over him like a master marionette worker.
A sickening warm wave of self hatred overcame him. He wanted to stop, he was in shock at what he had just done, but he couldn't turn back time. As he watched himself walk through this world against his own will he started to wonder just who the real miles Numan was. If there was any of him left at all.
A sound like a child's voice came from the room over. He felt his stomach drop. "God no, god no." He repeated.
He watched himself freeze in his tracks and turn towards a smooth arched clay doorway. It was dark but he could see that there were figures huddled in a corner of the spare room.
He got closer and his eyes adjusted to the low light. Two figures, one more slender than the other sat locked in embrace.
He made his way closer and drew his blade. The host mother used his foot to give a forceful shove. It became clear that both of the two figures were already dead. Their limbs were colored bright red with blood. As the dead man and woman slid lazily out of their embrace and slumped to the floor; the reason for their interlocking became obvious. Two wide eyes flashed in the darkness. It was a little boy, his parents had managed to use themselves to shield him from the White hot light and both perished in the process.
Miles held his breath. The host mother forced him to raise the blade he was holding above his head. The two eyes in the darkness became wider and the boy began to cry.
"Spare him, please" miles begged "He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just a boy"
"Finish what you started Miles." The host mother transmitted
His hand came whizzing down and the small boy shrieked. The sound of torn cloth could be heard. Miles dared to ease his wince and see what was before him.
Parts of the tunic that the boy was wearing had burned in to the skin of his parents during the purifying light; the host mother had freed the boy to be able to move by tearing the part was was burnt into his father and mothers flesh.
The boy immediately picked up and darted across the room. Miles' response was instantaneous, especially aided by the host mother. Before the boy could get through the door, miles made a backwards supine twist in mid air and grabbed the boy by the collar and held him up in the darkness.
A light beam emitted from his suit to illuminate the boy's face.
"A refugee" transmitted the host mother. "The young are closest to god and are prime to be imprinted with his truth; take this one back to us"
The boy was squirming to get free, shouting in a language that miles couldn't understand and then spat on his suit.
Miles was unfazed by all of this especially considering he had no control over his own reflexes at the moment.
"Keep still" said the host mother through miles.
His suit produced a syringe which then plunged in to a main artery in the squirming boy's neck giving him a powerful dose of sanguis dei. This would ensure that he could withstand the fallout of the purifying light without any lethal consequences.
Sanguis dei, when administered to the uninitiated, also acts as a powerful sedative. The boy immediately lost consciousness. Miles carried him back to his ship.
As he walked back through a main street way in the settlement the sounds of screams could be heard periodically as nearby survivors were being discovered and terminated by the arkangeles.
Miles placed the boy in a rear seat in the ship cabin and shut the air lock.
"You will take the boy back, then you will report to me" transmitted the hive mother
"As if I have a choice" miles remarked.
He had given up hope of redeeming himself at this point. He knew that his actions today had put him in great dishonor with the arkangelese, and at best in grave danger.
His ship pulled away from the planets surface, as he pulled further away from the atmosphere he saw that what was once a lush green planet had turned completely dull grey.
The ark was suspended ominously over its handiwork as his ship approached its dock.
Once on board a crew confiscated the small boy who was now just waking up. He was shouting, crying, and and slurring his words, likely demanding to see his parents.
The crew sedated the boy again and began marching him towards a holding cell. He would be dropped off on the ark's next stop at a hub colony, where he would be placed in to one of the indoctrination camps that all young arkangeles compulsorily attend. His now traumatic turn of life events would make him great fodder for arkangeles militants who preyed on the anger and trauma of disadvantaged young men. They forged pain and rage in to a caustic zeal for the word of god. The source of pain in a young man's heart had a name, it was the "ignorance". And the answer to his hurts and troubles was only to be found somewhere within the labyrinthine cosmology of the arkangeles religion. Nobody really seemed to know the answers, but the words lent themselves to be warped by any voice of authority, making it an excellent tool for absolute control of a developmentally stunted populace.
Miles watched as they roughly shoved the small boy into his cell and he stumbled to the ground. Before indoctrination, even small children were counted among the 'ignorant' and would be therefore be treated cruelly as a sub-class.
Now miles' limbs autonomously marched himself to the hive mother's nave and his near certain death.