Skeletons that were never buried.

He took me to this amazing Italian restaurant . He managed to take me out of that dark world to that time and put a smile on my face . It amazing how bruises fade away but the scarring of the soul remains deep and takes time to heal , if they ever heal . We ordered some weird food . But the thing I ingested the most was the wine to try and hide the guilt that was eating at me slowly inside . " Are you sure you alright ?" He kept on asking ,and the guilt kept on building up . I just faked a smile and nodded . He was calm ,kept on making small talk and it helped get my mind of things .

He drove us to the park . I got to take off my shoes and just walk on the wet grass . He carried my shoes and covered me with his coat . I can still remember the scent of his cologne ,it was musky but with that little bit of sweetness . I caught my self-sniffing on his coat ,and he just stood there smiled and watched . He held my hand and we went for a walk around the park . He kept on making jokes ,which were horrible ,but for an unknown reason I was laughing my lungs out ,maybe it was because of the company .

He suggested we go clubbing ,but I was already tipsy because of all the wine I drank . So we went back to the car . I had a message from my brother ,asking if I was okay and informing me he would be home late . After reading that message I also knew I did not want to be alone . He made me listen to his favorite music ,which was really soothing to the soul . He had me jamming up and singing along with him . I knew I had found the one person who could make me happy and get rid of my sorrows .

That night finally came to an end . We went back to his apartment for a night cap . It was the first time I went on such a date . It was my first time entering his crib and it was not what I expected . It was beautiful ,well decorated and clean . He offered me a drink and I went straight for a glass of whisky to calm my nerves . He looked at me funny ,but did not judge . We stayed up till midnight talking about stuff .

Whilst I was lying on his lap ,just admiring the stars ,Musa was just staring at me . " Why you looking at me like that ? " I asked looking straight into his eyes . He smiled and brushed my cheeks " Because you something beautiful ,and amazing, but most of all special " . He leant forward and his lips slowly came to look onto mine ,we kissed slowly ,gently and it was passionate .

When he broke the kiss he left me wanting more ,and I was breathless . I turned around ,ripped his shirt open . He stopped me " Are you sure ,because I want it to be special " he looked straight in my eyes . I just nodded I never thought , I think all that alcohol had went straight to my head . He gently picked me up and led me to his room . He slowly placed me on his bed ,unzipped my dress and threw it onto the floor .I tossed myself on the bed facing the ceiling . He was left with only his briefs and he got on top of me . He was breathing heavily ,and gently ,softly caressed my naked body .

He came up gave me another breath taking kiss ,he then went to my neck and he was kissing me ,and I could feel his breath on me . I did not know what triggered all this but I kept on having flash back of everything ,it just came all flooding . The man with dreadlocks on top of me ,breathing down my neck ,his laughter " Ha ha ha ... Oh Baby girl " . It all seemed to be happening all over again . I tried to shake it off ,but when I opened my eyes I saw the image of Lewis trying to force himself on me every night, then my mind took me to the beatings , when I killed him and those huge flames ...

I got all sweaty and pushed Musa off me . " Lorna what's up ? " He asked me trying to hold me and comfort me because he could see I was terrified and going out of my mind . Tears were just streaming down my eyes ,I was a mess. I couldn't find my stuff ,I just saw his shirt ,put that on and ran out . " Lorna ? " He stood by the door and only saw my backside . I ran up to my door opened it as fast as I could and closed the door as I went down on my knees ,and cried my lungs out .

Everything was rotating in my brain .I was stuck there and couldn't escape from my thoughts . I went up to the poach and for some time I looked down ,thinking of jumping . My mind was set on it but something just stopped me from jumping off that poach . I had so much anger in me that as soon as I got inside the house I started throwing stuff around and glass was flying from the walls . I kept at it until I was curled on the floor breathless and out of tears .

The door creaked and I knew the scent . He rushed to attend to my bleeding hand ,wrapped a cloth around it . " I know you had been hurt by someone else ,I see by the way you carry yourself. But please don't shut me out, Lorna Mkhize I have fallen for you and now since you have taken over my heart ,I just want to love you and take care of you " When I looked in his eyes they were filled with tears and his words ,crawled deep into my heart . I was amazed at the fact that he didn't run a mile when he saw the real me , the me behind that innocent face .

" You don't know me ,or what I have been through and the deeds I had done ... you better off ,everything I touch turns to ashes " I was trying to contain my tears . He just wiped my tears and held me tight ." I am sorry for everything Lorna ,I should have protected you ,been there for you " those were the words of my mother ,and I could hear through her voice that she was broken . I began falling asleep and I could faintly hear the voice of Lwandile and his touch ,but I was way out of it .

Woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and my hand was painful . When I sat up the two guys who were in my life that time were already by the door . " Since you became hulk yesterday ,I thought you would use the coffee " Lwandile said that sitting next to me ." You need help ,imagine what would have happened if Musa was not here . I didn't recognize how this thing hurt you ,since I can't lose you ,I must find you help " He said that and gave me the tightest hug . He gave me a kiss on my forehead and went out .

Musa came to sit next to me . " I thought I wouldn't see you again " I said that sipping on the coffee ." You can never scare me away, not when you this pretty " . We chilled for some time . He did not even once question me about last night ,but just comforted me . They ran me a bath and I took a long one . When I was done getting dressed they had cleaned up ,but most of the stuff was broken .

" I have a test I would have taken you to get an appointment with your therapist " Lwandile said that giving me a kiss on my forehead and went out ." I will take you " Musa said that packing my bag for me and leading the way . I needed that help as soon as possible . When I was comfortable on the car ,Musa fastened my seat belt and got in and we drove off . When I opened my bag it was still there . My mom's rare design rosary ,that she loved a lot ,and I carried with me everywhere since it was so close to my heart .

Musa couldn't keep his eyes off me . When we got to the doctor ,he waited outside and I got in . She could just see that I was a mess . I sat down with her and talked to her about my emotions ,fear and everything that I was experiencing . After that long talk I felt a little better .I even told her about my mom and how I could see her ,she was not surprised even once . She told me one thing ,I needed to forgive myself in order to move on .

When I got out Musa was still waiting .When I got out he had opened his eyes to give me a hug . When we got into the car ,I was a little better . " Can we please get some food " he asked that with puppy dog eyes , I simply nodded and we drove off . When we got to the robots ,Musa searched for some good music ,whilst I stared into space. My window was wide open ,I was startled when something cold touched my face . When I looked up some city guy had a gun pointed to my head ." Musa !" those words faintly came out of my mouth .

When Musa looked up ,a guy was also by his side . " Get the hell out of this car now ! " I was just terrified and shocked didn't move .Musa tried resisting ,but saw it was beyond his power . The dragged me out of the car and got in . They threw Musa into the middle of the road . When I was out I remembered my bag and the rosary ." No please, wait my bag, My bag!" I was holding on tightly to the door ,and wouldn't let go of it . That was something I wasn't letting go off . "Move Bitch !" . I kept on trying to reach for my bag ,this guy pushed me away and pulled the trigger . The bullet went through my stomach .

The pain I felt was immense ,I slowly went on my knees and held my stomach ,the blood slowly slipped through my fingers and dropped onto the tarred pavement . The pain was too much and I fell on my face . Musa ran to me and held me tight in his arms . I couldn't bare the pain and Musa's cry .