5: A haunting past

Sometimes in life, we feel that isolating ourselves and discarding our senses into the abyss is the cure, but life is not meant for that. Life is like an ocean; your pressures rise, but do oceans remain like that? No, the tide eventually fades away. Think of people who enjoy the beach: some lay back and get washed away by the tide, while others look at the tide and surf on it. I guess you could say that Mother is completely washed away by this haunting past.

"How could she possibly want to see me? After all, I have I done?" Mother groaned, "Such a daughter I truly am!"

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I listened to Mother's complaints. A weight of guilt settled in my chest, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I played a role in this ocean of despair. The echoes of her pain reverberated through my mind, creating a symphony of regret.

It was as if she stood at the shore, waiting to be battered by the waves, yet refusing to be completely consumed by the humongous sea of her past. I realized that, just like those who surf on the waves of life, she too had the strength to navigate through her struggles.

With a determined resolve, I decided that it was time I became her anchor in her turbulent sea. The tide might be tough for her to surf, but together, we could brave the storm. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the journey that lay ahead.

"Mother," I spoke gently, "I may not understand everything, but we will face this together. Let me be the strength you need, just as you've been mine."

"Mother?" Mother repeated, "So you're the reason she despised me for all these bloody years! I want nothing to do with you!" Sasha's eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and lack of anger. If he didn't speak, I would have sworn his presence was no longer here.

"The past is in the past. She misses you dearly," Sasha stated, "Are you making another mistake in your precious life?"

Mother groaned and shook her head, "Fine! I'll come along with y'all," Mother panted, pacing towards me, pulling on my ear. "But I am not coming because of you, little girl!" Though my mother detested breathing the same air as me at that exact moment, I could not blame her. She was carrying a load of guilt that she could not cast away.

"So how are we going home?" Trivan asked. A nervous grin pierced my face. "I... I don't know," Mother whispered under her breath. Trivan banged his hands on the crystal walls that closed in. Is it just me, or the realm was reducing in size with every glance? That was when I heard a faint applause in the distance which increased at each rate. Then there was a giggle, "Heya!" Jade poofed beside me and snickered. My heart pounded violently.

"Did you idiots think I would leave you to rot?" Jade persisted in asking, "I mean... I would want to see..." She ceased her sentence and stopped giggling. Yet again her face turned a sickish color, and she prepared the materials again to create the portal to home. Mother seemed enthusiastic about seeing Grandmother, but her vibe was off.

"Next stop... Haven Boulevard!" Jade cackled her head off like a maniac. Trivan flinched when Jade crept up next to him, expecting to be tossed into the portal like last time. However, she massaged her fingers through his hair, and for some reason, that threw me off. Sasha opened his arms, waiting for his presence to be known to her, but she bypassed him straight and walked over to hug me. She is very strong for a girl who doesn't look like it.

Jade jumped into the portal, and Trivan was about to follow along, but Sasha bumped into him and pushed him away. "Oh Triv," I sighed, "You can jump into the portal at the same time as me!" my eyes sparkled back at him. He just jumped into the portal without hesitating. That's so rude! My mother stood next to me and held my hand.

"Let's hop in, daughter."

As we hopped into the portal, a tingling sensation bubbled on my face. I finally found my mother, established a bond, and most importantly; I can't wait to see the look on my grandmother's face when she sees mother!

The journey through the portal was a whirlwind of colours. We emerged on Haven Boulevard, the familiar sights and sounds of our world greeting us. Jade giggled, her mischievous aura still intact.

Trivan seemed relieved to be back, while Sasha maintained a collected behaviour.

My mother was conflicted with her emotions. Our return was palpable to her, but I couldn't help but wonder how our reunion would unfold. As we stepped onto familiar ground, I sensed a mixture of anticipation and antsy in the air.

Grandmother's house stood at the end of Boulevard, and with each step, the weight of the past and the hope for a brighter future intertwined. Mother held my hand tighter, her eyes were full of fear. The tingling sensation on my face persisted, a subtle reminder of the journey we had undertaken.

As we approached the doorstep, a blend of emotions swallowed me: expectation, apprehension, and a touch of hope. The door creaked open, revealing Grandmother's large smile which immediately flipped upside down. "Buh wha de hell Amara? I went quite South having de entire neighbourhood searching for yuh!" Grandmother argued, "Yuh know how many people saying ise a terrible grandmother? Me?"

She kept huffing and puffing so much that one could have sworn I would have been blown away. "Thank you miss for-" Grandmother fell to silence. She stood staring at Mother flabbergasted, touching her face and pulling on her ear. "Like something wrong with alyuh! My daughter and grandchild tryna die young!" 

Mother chuckled and her gaze met Grandmother's, a silent exchange of emotions. Grandmother glanced back at me and whispered, "Thank you, Amara"

"Are they your friends?" Grandmother asked me to which I nodded.

"Could they stay with us? They have nowhere to stay," I pleaded.

Grandmother chuckled and said, "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine."

She then escorted us into her house. Have I been away for so long? Everything looked different to me but the positive spirit still dwelled in her house. Grandmother and my mother went into the living room to have a hearty conversation. It is heartwarming to see them getting along. Trivan and Jade explored my grandmother's house, admiring its beauty despite it being rather small.

Jade chased Trivan while Trivan ran from Jade but she could find him quickly due to the magic she possessed. Just like every human being, I don't have eyes at the back of my head although I think I do. It felt as though Sasha was glaring at me from behind. When I turned around to face him, he immediately glanced away. "Sasha, why aren't you with Trivan?" I inquired.

"I don't feel like it," he scoffed and headed towards the bedroom that Trivan and he shared. Sasha is not usually like this and it frightens me. I crept up to his bedroom and turned the doorknob; it was locked. If he wants to be alone so be it. My mother is home and that is all that matters. Besides, I am too exhausted and inquisitive about the family reunion I overheard Grandmother saying. Why was it so important to her? I gained my senses and realized my eyes were focused on the marble tiles. 

I cannot be afraid...can I? I don't know how to feel when Sasha's usual mood is off. He did not even defend me when I was on the brink of my demise. "Amara!" Trivan screeched as he slammed the door on Jade, "Get this idiot out of here!"

A smile pierced his face, leaving him no choice but to laugh. "Peekaboo!" Jade exclaimed as she appeared right before our eyes. It infuriates me that Sasha and Trivan give her more attention. I guess you can say I am just here.

Sasha's POV

Why should she have a mother and I don't? I punched my pillow and groaned loudly. Am I the problem? How could I have been so blind? When I first opened my eyes, my mother held me in her arms. She is a mother any child could ask for. On days I played the fool, who was there to correct me? Just like every child I detested her for it until we all realized our mothers were looking out for us.

When I was ill she was the one who nursed me but now I can't even nurse her. The day she lay motionless next to Trivan, I knew that she had taken her final breath.

Amara has her mother, such...great news. She doesn't deserve a mother if I can't have one. I'm not a terrible person I swear but seeing the smiles on their faces makes my mind corrupt. Trivan may not understand me, he never does. I'm just an annoying accessory to his wrist.

I could see it in his eyes that Amara is his only true love but I must take what he truly desires. If I can't have a mother I will have a girl to nurse me, whether she wishes to or not. I will be her man and she will be my lady. Love is a dangerous game and Amara is wrapped around my finger. How could I possibly love someone like her? A sickening pain engulfed my head so I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. There is one thing however that I will not condemn while staying here. Amara's mother has to go.