Where am I?

(3rd person view)

*chirp chirp chirp*

*rustle*

*Insect noises*

*Wind blowing*

a child lays in a clearing staring up at the tree canopy above them, the child seems to be around 12 years old, but the most striking thing is their features, they have long black hair pooled around their head, and a beautiful yet handsome face, seemingly the perfect combination of male and female, and not instantly identifiable as either, creating a beautiful scene of a androgynous young teen mingling with the natural beauty of the forest, the teen wears a pair of comfortable looking jeans and a nice comfy black long sleeved shirt, combined with a thin smooth black cloth mask that perfectly fits their face, forming what some might consider an edgy look, but the teen has always found comfortable, (the reason for the mask is that I want to accentuate his actions through his eyes and eyebrows instead of his full face, also I think it looks nice, sue me.) the teen has deep black eyes with specks of almost imperceptible light, invisible unless inspected up close, and 2 lines starting from their pupil and spreading out horizontally, not quite meeting the edge of their Iris's, with it getting thinner the further it gets from the pupil, and bending around the pupil like an accretion disk around a black hole, and the teens eyes seem to be in a state of perfect neutrality, not bored, not exited, neither mad, nor happy, or sad.

'where am I?' the child thinks to themselves, not in any language that exists, but as the mere concept of a question, they have no recollection of where, who, or even what, they are. Their mind a blank template, seemingly empty of anything but the question, and then the memories flood in and the teen remembers.

(1st person view)

'ah, I remember now, my name was Sebastian, a student in my last life studying physics, Biology, and chemistry, and I just killed myself.' he goes on to organize his thoughts, starting from the beginning, and working forward. 'I was born march 22nd 2003 (not my real birthday) to a family of three, four with me included, but soon after I was born my parents separated and I spent the next decade of my life bouncing between homes with my sister, when I was 6 I feel from the second floor of my house, having been bouncing myself back and forth between the wall and the rails of the stairs in the open air stairwell, when I somehow flipped myself over and fell, after that incident I developed Savant syndrome, becoming much better than average at understanding and learning physics, Biology, and chemistry, but while I didn't know it at the time, the injury caused a slow and continuous spread of necrosis withing my brain, slowly eating away at parts of myself, at first, it began at my short term memory, but thinking nothing of it and having no brain injuries since I never got it checked, then, after a few years it came for some of my fine motor skills, I could still move perfectly fine, but small precise movements became impossible for me, with my muscles seemingly only responding to larger movements, after that it took some of my processing abilities, finding despite my ability to do long complex equations in my head it took just as long to do simple ones, and finally, it took my emotions, it started off slowly, a general weakness of emotions, similar to depression, and that's what I took it as, it wasn't till years later when I found myself incapable of feeling enjoyment or boredom that I got it checked, and discovered my condition.'

'My diagnosis came and went, maybe due to my new lack of emotions, but I felt nothing but resignation, It did not impact my life yet, so I didn't care, at some point my diagnosis was leaked, and I became an instant celebrity, at first it was fine, just some sympathy here and then, but it continued to grow and grow, "young genius diagnosed with fatal brain degradation" said the normal articles, "dementia strikes young" said the ones who wanted clicks, but I learned to live with it, it was annoying at first, but that feeling to soon faded like the rest, and I continued on with my life, then, at 19 years of age, It got worse, I soon found my memories fading as I thought them, periodic surges of amnesia, having a conversation one moment only to completely forget a second later, at first it was like a dream, the memory fading quickly outside of the fact it happened and sometimes the general details, or maybe how you felt during it, then it was like anesthesia for surgery, sitting there with the needle in your arm, fully conscious, then suddenly nothing, you know you were still awake for a while after that, the doctors can attest, I remember when I was 16, and had my wisdom teeth removed, my first memory post operation is sitting at home reading a book, how I got there is beyond me, not even the me of the moment could remember how I had gotten there, and I had to reread a few chapters, but now its more common, my only blessing was my long term memory was mostly untouched, and I knew I was dying, I knew I didn't have much longer till I forgot everything, becoming like the victims of dementia, not even remembering my family, and despite my lack of emotions I couldn't stand the Idea, and so, I killed myself, maybe it was a blessing, but when I next woke up from the darkness, I was already nearly dead, It saved me from any possible misgivings stopping me, but I doubt it would, I had long fallen out of contact with any friends when my emotions began to fade, some found me creepy, others just simply could no longer enjoy my company, my mother had died, my sister to, and my father had also left with my continued degradation, but the possibility was there, and so I was thankful.'

'but now I find myself here,' I thought to myself, as I lay here I consider my situation, but my most important concern is my senses, I don't see like I used to, nor feel, nor smell, nor hear, its odd really, the human mind was not designed to experience reality in its real form, hence the automatic filtration into the senses we know, qualia, as some call it, the taste of food, the sight of color, the noise of sound, the feeling of touch, but now I see it as it is, Instead of light I see the wavelengths of photons, Instead of sound I feel the vibrations of the air and ground, instead of smelling I can differentiate the different chemicals and compounds in the air, and instead of feeling temperature and touch, I can know the movement of individual particles, and the interactions between the world around me and my skin, as well as the electric signals sent from my nerves to my brain, its an interesting phenomena, despite never having experienced this, I can intuitively understand the information, I can put together a picture of my surroundings, I know I'm laying on a bed of moss, underneath some trees, the ambient air temperature is 21 degrees Celsius, and I can hear the noises of birds, insects, and the rustling of wind in the trees and grass, its strange to experience qualia and the true reality at the same time, as well as no longer be limited to only seeing in front of me, but all around, but I can now, and I know I can do more.'

'Somehow I intuitively have the knowledge that I can manipulate everything I see how I desire, within limits, I understand that I cannot violate the laws of physics, I can not create or destroy matter, but I also know that the force I use to move them is not something real, It is not energy, nor mass, but something else, and as such some laws don't apply to me, It seems I can move things with my mind, telekinesis, but not have to bear the weight with my physical body like I would had I used a magnet, and I can also manipulate the space around me, and as a test I do the common thought experiment for wormholes, I imagine space as a piece of paper, then I fold the paper over itself so that the two points I desire are opposite one another, and poke a hole, light bends around something new in an unnatural way, and new photons enter my eyes, and I stand to walk forwards, and find myself at my destination at the other side of the clearing, I try again, this time imagining im pulling the paper into a crack, bringing both destinations closer together by ignoring some space, and I find light bent strangely in front of me again, but instead of walking through a portal like before, each step I take sends me 5 meters more than it should, and from an outside perspective my body seems to stretch, like trying to erase permanent marker and smudging it instead.

my sensing ability seems to only stretch about a km in every direction but I sense nothing around me but more forest, so I guess I should find some shelter, 'how exiting' and I pause, the first time I've felt anything in so long, and it makes me smile.