Chapter 13

"I can't believe this is what I'm doing with my life." I complain. All of the interns were on Bailey's service today and we had to do sensitivity training

"Reaction, observation, communication. Any questions so far?" Bailey asks making us all raise our hands for the same question.

"We're doing this because Chief Shepherd suggests we brush up on our patient sensitivity skills, that's why and it just so happens this morning was a very good time. Besides, half of you were raised by wolves. Reaction. Keep your face impassive. Whether prompted by a patient's appearance or lab results, facial expressions of surprise, concern, disgust, etc., can be counterproductive. Uh, la la la la la Jokes. Don't make jokes about patients, not in front of them, not even in private. Yang." She says calling on Cristina.

"What if the joke is really funny?" Cristina jokes.

"It's not, neither was that one. Moving on. Observation. Ok, use reflective listening. Repeat the patient's feelings back to them. 'I hear that you're concerned about the surgery, let me explain the risks." Dr. Bailey says.

"I can see you like vegetables, after surgery, you might become one." Alex jokes making everyone laugh.

"Communication. Don't use jargon, use language that the patient can understand. Be creative in using metaphors." Dr. Bailey explains.

"I'm terrible with metaphors, I can never come up with them." Charles says.

"Why? You're dumb as a box of hammers." Cristina jokes making everyone laugh.

"See, that's a good one. You're an ass, but that was a good one." Charles laughs.

"Be clear and comprehensive. Explain all risks and probable outcomes, leaving nothing out. Question, Adamson?" Dr. Bailey asks seeing that Reed's hand is raised.

"Why are you going so fast?" Reed asks her.

"It just so happens that we have an emergent patient arriving who will need a little extra sensitivity, so remember to employ your R, O, C, and you will "rock" your patient's world." Bailey says trying to make a joke. "Ok, that's enough of that. Follow me to the pit" Dr. Bailey says before we walk down to the pit and wait for the patient to arrive.

"So I signed the divorce papers." Izzie whispers to me since Alex isn't that far away.

"When? I didn't even know you had gotten the official paper work yet?" I say.

"Yesterday."

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nods.

"If you're not, I can take you out and get you drunk tonight." I say making her laugh.

"No, I think I'll pass." She smiles.

"All right, people, remember what you've been taught. Use it throughout the day. There will be consequences if you don't." Dr. Bailey warns as fire trucks pull in with a moving truck behind them.

"What the hell is it?" I hear Alex ask.

"What did the circus come to town?" I ask as they open the moving truck to reveal a large man laying on a bed.

"Nope, just the elephant." Jackson jokes.

"Avery, you're off the case, go." Bailey says glaring at Jackson.

"Dammit." Jackson mumbles walking away.

"Consequences." Bailey says.

"We're going to need a bigger hospital." The patient jokes. With a lot of help the patient is transported to the ER to be examined.

"Easy, that's it. Let's get him a chem panel, CBC and LFTs." Owen says as we make it to the room.

"Got it." April nods.

"Type and cross." Webber says.

"Now does that hurt?" April asks the patient as she applies pressure to his abdomen.

"Sweetheart, I can't even feel that."

"Having trouble finding a vein here." Meredith says as she tries to start an IV.

"Or anywhere?" Cristina says

"I'm using up all your doctors here, probably somebody dying somewhere, right?" The patient jokes.

"X-ray." Lexie says as we all move against the wall as the X-ray machine comes on.

"Now I understand the sensitivity training." Izzie says.

"Yeah, no fat jokes." I say.

"Garcia, you're off the case." Dr. Bailey says.

"But I said no fat jokes." I whine.

"Goodbye." Dr. Bailey waves me off.

"Fine, I didn't want to be on the stupid case anyways." I mumble making Izzie laugh as I walk out of the patients room. Since Nelson was still out and a lot of the attending's were working on the case I got kicked off of, I decide to go find Teddy and see if she has anything I can do. I spot Jackson in the hallway walking towards Teddy at the same time. As soon as we spot each other we start speed walking, both of us trying to get to her first.

"Dr. Altman." Jackson smiles as we both see her.

"I call dibs." I say.

"Do you need any help today?" Jackson asks.

"I'm free." I smile.

"Aren't you both supposed to be on Webber's big emergency patient?" Teddy asks.

"He got kicked off for making a joke." I snitch.

"So did you." Jackson says.

"But not for making jokes, so dibs." I say.

"Both of you, I've got a consult in the pit." Teddy says, so we follow her.

"Why did you get kicked off the case." Jackson asks as we walk.

"Because I said no fat jokes, I guess that was an insensitive thing to say." I shrug.

"You would've gotten kicked off eventually anyways, you have no filter." Jackson jokes.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I laugh as we make our way over to the patient and begin checking her stats.

"Nancy Temple, 39, complaining of nausea and dizziness since waking today." Jackson says.

"Then she threw up, twice." The patients daughter says.

"Kelly said I had to go to the doctor." Nancy, the patient says.

"At school you have to if you vomit." The little girl says.

"Good call Kelly, let's have a listen. How's her EKG look?" Teddy asks me.

"It's coming up now." I say looking at the EKG machine.

"Having any chest pains or numbness in your arms or fingers?" Teddy asks.

"No, not at all. Why?"

"Nancy, heart attack symptoms show up completely differently in women than in men. They're often missed, sometimes, they just look like stomach problems." Teddy says handing me the EKG results.