Heavy Rain, Heavy Heart

"Ei."

Bright's grip on Eirin's hand tightened after noticing that the teenage girl wouldn't budge.

"It's fine."

Hearing those words brought tears to Eirin's eyes. "I'm scared," she said with that hoarse voice. For Bright, it felt like an eternity since he last heard the voice of the girl he adores. "I'm afraid that if I look at her now, this will be engraved in my memories. I don't want to see her lying inside that," Eirin sobbed, as she could not take her eyes off Ava's portrait.

Bright pulled Eirin into his arms and said, "It'll be fine. You'll be fine." He caressed Eirin's hair while repeating those words. "You can take your time. Ava's here to wait for you."

Eirin's anxiousness caused her to move away from Bright, but she continued holding his hand as she moved closer to the casket. 'I want to see her,' she thought, 'But not like this.' Fear enveloped her heart as she did not wish to remember Ava as her dead best friend forever, and she still wanted to cherish their memories together.

'I cannot accept this. It feels like every memory will be replaced with a sad one if I saw her here.'

Eirin gulped and peeked inside the casket. Tears immediately fell as she called out her friend's name. A smile formed on her face after seeing Ava lying there with a seemingly radiant face.

"You look healthy," Eirin's mouth trembled as she said that. Despite being lifeless, Ava's skin looked fair and unlike before, she appeared healthier. The one who put her makeup on did a great job of making her look like she was only in a deep slumber. Seeing that caused relief and despair inside Eirin's heart as she touched the glass.

"Sleep tight, Ava."

Almost all their classmates stared at Eirin while Bright tried to hide her in his arms. It was baffling to see their school idol in a horrible mess.

Evelyn, Ava's mother, and her husband decided to continue with the burial after Eirin finished with her goodbyes. They knew how important Ava was to Eirin and decided to give her time to see Ava before they let her rest in peace. The weather was awful. It was raining cats and dogs, but it did not stop the burial from happening. Eirin stared at the casket, getting ready to be buried in the ground while still holding Bright's hand. If it wasn't for Bright's warmth, she would have cried her heart out until there were no tears left.

'Am I an asshole for still not accepting that you're gone? I don't want to accept it— No, I can't accept it.'

Eirin bit her lower lip, unknowingly making it bleed.

"Ei," Bright called her name as he gently touched her lower lip. "You'll be fine," he said as he used his handkerchief to wipe the blood away. Eirin did not even feel pain. She could only feel her heart aching because of losing Ava. They wouldn't be able to laugh and talk about random things anymore. And the fact that it all happened without warning makes everything worse.

Eirin froze, and her eyes widened. 'It happened… without warning,' she thought. Her head, filled with only painful thoughts, started comprehending what really happened that day. But those thoughts were short-lived after she heard Ava's mother, Evelyn, weeping. The sound of her cry caused Eirin's heart to ache as her grip on Bright's hand tightened. As if trying not to lose herself amidst of angst and pain in front of her. She wanted to hold on to something so badly because she knew how close she was to losing it all.

"Ava, my lovely child."

Everyone showed their sympathy for Ava's family, but Eirin could not say anything. Deep inside her heart, she still couldn't let go of her friend. She didn't want to offer sympathies as she couldn't accept that her best friend, the only friend she had, was gone and had left her.

The band started to play a melancholic tune alongside the cries of those who have cherished and loved Ava, but Eirin only stared at the casket, not batting an eye away from it. Her head was empty, her heart filled with grief while the young man beside her kept stealing a glance. Bright balled his fist and felt useless.

Evelyn approached Eirin with puffy eyes, with her husband holding her arm beside her. "Eirin," Evelyn pulled something out of her pocket after calling Eirin's name. "This… my Ava treasured this and was excited to give the other one to you."

Eirin saw the familiar pink butterfly friendship bracelet that she last saw Ava wearing before she passed. The same one Ava gifted her on her 16th birthday.

"Please, treasure it."

Ava's mother hugged her husband as she could not take the pain anymore. After everyone paid their respect, they started leaving.

"Ei," Bright called Eirin's name as she continued staring at her best friend's grave. "The rain's getting worse. I think we should get in the car now," he said, but Eirin wasn't listening. Instead, Eirin walked out of the shade of the umbrella and started getting wet by the rain. She could not differentiate if it was tears or if it was the rain, but her face was dripping with water.

"Ava," she said. "You're still beside me, right? You didn't leave, right?" Eirin knelt in front of the grave and caressed the bracelet she received. The heavy rain concealed her cries as the young man could not do anything but watch her weeping as she got drenched by the rain. Bright's grip on the umbrella's handle tightened as he could not bear looking at her like that. He rushed to her side, dropping the umbrella on the ground, and letting himself get soaked by the rain.

Bright pulled Eirin into a hug and bawled with her. He had tried his best to hold it in, making himself look strong to support Eirin's emotions, but he had his limits.

"It will be fine," he said as he gazed up at the sky. "It will be. I'm sure of it." The young man added as if he was telling those words to himself. Comforting his aching heart with the words he wanted to hear.

They grieved their best friend's death, and the sky mourned with them. As the rain ceased, Bright calmed down and thought to himself how embarrassing it was for a man to cry like that. He was like a child bawling his eyes alongside the girl he adores.

The cemetery was already empty, leaving the two of them alone while the vile wind caused by the ceasing rain made the two shiver as they felt the cold.

"We're all drenched now," Bright said with a sheepish expression.

However, Eirin was not bothered by it and stayed staring at Ava's grave in front of her eyes and hugged her knees. She sniffed and closed her eyes, letting more tears fall off them.

"Do you think Ava hates me now? For not knowing what she was going through?"

Bright touched Eirin's cheeks and gently made her look at him. "Are you really asking such a question?" He smiled, as they could still feel the cold wind around. "Ava would never hate you. You know how much she loves you, and that's the truth. She loved you so much that maybe… she feels apologetic, leaving you behind without a warning."

Eirin's eyes stared at the ground. "If I knew this would happen, I would have told her how much I love her."

Bright cupped Eirin's cheek. "You did. You told her how much you treasure her, and how precious she is. I witnessed it with my own eyes," he said. The moment their eyes met, Bright felt his heart skipping a beat. "I know this isn't the time for this, but… push me away if you don't like it."

The young man leaned closer, leaving just a little space between their faces. He waited for her to push him away, but when Eirin closed her eyes, Bright's heart thumped louder as he moved closer and their lips touched.

It tasted so sweet for Bright that he would never forget about it, but for Eirin, guilt swallowed her whole.

"W-We should go home now. You might catch a cold if we stay here any longer." Bright was too flustered after that peck that he couldn't look Eirin in the eye again.

"You're right."

Eirin stood up and smiled. 'I'm sorry,' she thought as she distracted herself from the pain, but it only caused her to feel worse. 'I'm a trash.'

The two walked out of the cemetery drenched and cold. "Shouldn't we take a cab?" Bright said, but Eirin continued walking as if she couldn't hear anything else. 'Did she get angry because of what I did?' Bright thought as he followed her, but he kept a safe distance so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

"Do you like me?"

Eirin turned around and caught Bright off-guard.

"W-What?"