It smelled like freedom

The capital of the State of Zhou was located at the center of the country and served as a crossroads for many trade routes. It attracted thousands of people from all backgrounds all year round and long lines of people waiting to enter the city could be found every day in front of the city gates. From small merchants coming to establish their businesses to scholars hoping to pass the imperial exams, the capital was the subject of far too many dreams. Most of them crumbling into pieces once people passed through the gates and discovered the world behind the thick and sturdy walls that surrounded the city.

Where were the gold-paved streets? Why were there no beautiful princesses parading in the streets? How could there be so many poor people?

Bai Yue's dreams were luckier. Ten years of living in the imperial harem taught her that too much gold looked extremely tacky and the Emperor would never allow state funds to be spent into gold-paved streets.

Many times in her life, she wondered about the world outside and often imagined faceless people walking up and down the streets in the sunshine. The reality was more vivid than the black and white drawings in her books and the tales of her elder brother didn't do it justice as they failed to accurately explain the colorful buildings standing on both side of the streets and the women and men coming back and forth, running errands, shouting for people to go to one's stall, and just living and breathing.

The streets were bustling with people, and noises and the smell of sweat and perfume and just freedom surrounded Bai Yue, wrapping her in a strangely comforting yet nerve-racking cocoon. It was an odd combination and she couldn't help but observe her noisy surroundings with eyes agog.

Most of the people in the streets were commoners and servants from rich families. Dressed in ragged garments, there were selling and buying stuff, going from one stall to another, and coming in and out of shops. Here and there, a luxurious carriage would pass by them, maids and manservants stopping the people from coming closer. Forming a barrier around the carriage, it was as if they represented the clear border behind the rich and the poor, setting the two worlds further apart. One was filled with gold and diamonds, and rubies kept raining on them, showering them with wealth time and time again. The other seemed to only know of the bitter taste of dust and dirt and the tears they shed when the ones in power forgot about them.

Not all rich people traveled by carriage though and it wasn't rare to see a man sitting straight and proud on a horse, looking down on the people below.

"Hairpins! Come see our hairpins! The best of the capital!"

"Silk from the Xu region here!"

"Fresh tea leaves!"

Mingling with the crowd, Bai Yue couldn't stop herself from looking at almost every stall with interest. Some of the things she found were a bit dusty but a swipe of the hand solved the problem. Forgetting all about the boxes of jewelry in her bag, even the simplest needle became the most incredible object in her eyes.

"Interested in my necklaces?" an old woman whose face was full of wrinkles asked in a friendly tone. "Is it for you? Or perhaps some mistress of yours?"

Bai Yue started at the question, astonished. It was certainly the first time someone asked her that kind of question.

"Oh, no," she stammered, "I am just looking. My... mistress doesn't like jewelry very much."

"You, girl, little liar," the old woman laughed warmly, "which woman doesn't like looking beautiful? Little girl, you still need to learn a lot. Let me tell you - your mistress may say she doesn't like wearing jewelry but I bet she doesn't mean it. Rich people always act like some Buddha in front of the others but heavens know how they truly are inside!"

"Is that so?" But clearly, Bai Yue didn't like it. In the palace, her whole body used to look like a jewelry shop. Her poor neck almost broke more than once under the weight of all the pieces of jewelry in her hair, and necklaces and bracelets sometimes left rashes on her skin. Whoever said looking beautiful was necessary for women probably never had to wear their weight in gold and sapphire. "But I think someone like you doesn't need a necklace to look beautiful."

"You rascal, are you trying to make an old woman blush?"

"I wouldn't dare," she replied cheerily, a grin spreading across her face underneath the veil. She brought her hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her hair and continued in a small voice, as if she was about to reveal an important secret, "I'm just saying the truth as it is."

The old woman's eyes landed on Bai Yue's thin wrists and her eyes flickered. A sigh left her when she retreated her gaze. "You really are too sweet. If my son was younger and not married to my daughter-in-law, I would introduce you two to each other."

"Sweet words aren't worth much," she retorted with a shake of her head before leaning in to take a closer look at one of the necklaces. A black string with a pale green jade round pendant. "Do you do them yourself? They are really pretty!"

And it was no lie. Although the pieces of jewelry on the display stand lacked the glorious look and intricate patterns of the ones in her bags, there was something compelling about their simplicity. And they certainly didn't look like her spine would snap in two because of their weight.

"My son does, and before it was my husband," the woman answered, a proud expression on her face. "They can't compete with what rich ladies wore but the necklaces are made with love and talent."

"I can see that," Bai Yue whispered, her voice just high enough for the old woman in front of her to hear. Caressing the cool and smooth surface of the jade pendant, she added, "I will take this one for me."

Having yet to sell the content of her boxes, she didn't have a lot of money on her. However, it was still more than enough to buy the pretty necklace. Putting it around her neck, she watched the pendant fall right in the middle of her chest, the jade particularly eye-catching against the servant dress.

"Drawing the attention away from my face, it certainly helps to make me more beautiful," she joked, winking at the old woman to prove she wasn't speaking seriously.

"Oh, shush you! What are you saying, speaking about yourself like that!" In spite of the scolding tone of voice, the woman was wearing an amused smile. Looking at Bai Yue's wrists again, the smile faded away for a brief moment and she took out a steam bun. "Here, take this and don't tell those masters of yours. Just eat it, you look like you need it more than I."

Of course, it wasn't true but such an act of disinterested, pure kindness left Bai Yue speechless. It wasn't right, she thought. In spite of her emaciated appearance, she always ate to her heart's content and never went to bed with an empty stomach. Yet, facing the simple and white steam bun, she couldn't find it in herself to refuse and nodded shyly.

"Go now, you are scaring the customers away."

"Alright, alright, I won't bother you any longer."

Laughing, she walked away with a bounce in her step, the steam bun carefully placed in her bag. The world outside was even more interesting than she first thought.

Now the question was what to do with that steam bun? Keeping it as some kind of weird souvenir was rather tempting but she didn't fancy the smell of mold. Nor the taste, she recalled with a somber look. That thought felt like a slap to her face and a bitter reminder that the past still haunted her.

Her brows furrowed, she forced herself out of her memories and went back to the present. Thinking about those things was meaningless. She was here, now, and would never go back to that disgusting place, with all those horrible people. She just needed to remember that.

She patted her bag, the movement causing the jewelry in the box to tinkle. Right. She still needed to make money with that useless stuff. Only like that would she be able to live freely.

With that in mind, Bai Yue entered the first pawnshop she found and walked towards the counter. There were only two people before her, a man and his manservant, and she stopped a few steps away from them.