Chapter 4

“I am claustrophobic,” I whispered as he turned off the lights.

“Then focus on me and not on the room or the walls,” I heard his smile in the darkness. I was suddenly super aware of his presence. I was biting my nails when he turned on the screen. As the light from the projector screen flooded the room, I noticed that he was intently staring at me. What happened to not mixing business with pleasure?

“I thought you were leaving this morning,” I felt my voice echo in the silence.

“I changed my plans. I had to get someone out of my system first,” he replied in a very charming tone.

“Who?” I asked, smitten under his gaze.

“Why don’t you see it for yourself?” and he projected some photos from the party. The first one was him making a speech. He looked so radiant, just as I remembered and dreamed of every night. Shush!

“I usually don’t go around looking for photographs, my media team and the press does that for me. However, this time, I was intrigued. You see, I met this strange, sexy and breathtakingly beautiful girl, and I could swear that she was into me as much I was into her. However, it turned out she was married. I knew she liked me so I approached her but instead she ran into her husband’s arms, literally.” He paused and I swallowed. “This forced me to dwell on her and see, was I imagining?” he continued holding my gaze and I felt that creepy feeling—down there—come back. I so wanted to break the eye contact but could not. I crossed my legs uncomfortably; his smile and a quick glance at my legs said he did not miss that.

“If she is married then why are you after her?” I asked composing myself. It was getting very difficult to breathe.

“Well, she got married at a very early age. Maybe she married the wrong man. She is clearly not happy,” his remark made me angry.

“What makes you think she is unhappy? She is perfectly happy with her husband,” I defended.

“Then why was she looking at me like this?” and at this, he projected another photo. Holy Shit! Someone clicked my face when I was lusting over him. The photo made my heart thud even harder. My mouth went dry and for the first time ever I was speechless.

The picture reminded me of the thought that I was having at that moment. It was not a decent thought. I tried to control but couldn’t.

He continued, “Then why is she chewing on her lower lip just like you are doing right now?” he asked standing right in front of me. He slowly took off his coat and loosened his tie. I composed myself.

“I think I should leave now,” I spoke very softly and started to get up but he held my hand, his touch passed jitters to my heart and my trembling soul.

“Wait there is more,” and this time he flashed the one where he was standing just inches away from me and I had to bring up all my strength not to kiss him. The photo accelerated the passionate current in my body. I heard my own breath get ragged.

I just stared at the picture as I controlled my emotions. “What does she have to say about this or the way she is acting right now?” he asked and without my permission, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was not the tear of sorrow. Instead, it was an emotional and ambivalent tear with a mix of seduction, embarrassment and lack of self-control. He let go of my hand.

“You are blowing this out of proportion. Of course, they don’t mean anything,” I spoke as I found my voice.

“So, you are telling me there is nothing between us?” he demanded as he un-cuffed and rolled up the sleeves exposing his tanned manly arms.

“What are you doing? This is your office, your work. It’s like your place of worship, what are you doing?” I knew I spoke a little too melodramatically but he could not blame me for that. It was he, who started all the drama.

“I know this is my office but I don’t pray. I am an atheist if you want to know,” he replied with a smile. He looked so different now. So casual, so young. He really needs to stop!

“So am I, but it’s not what I meant,” I replied quickly.

“Very interesting,” he spoke raising his eyebrows. I saw a marvellous grin appear on his face. It made my heart stop.

“I need to leave,” I demanded as I pushed my chair.

“What you need to do is to reply to me. What was this?” he pointed at the screen.

“Please turn it off. My reputation will be tarred if anyone sees it,” I begged.

“Why do you think I turned off the blinds?” his smile smug. I felt a mixture of feelings—part of me wanted to punch him but part of me wanted to kiss him and have him right here, right now. I controlled all of my desires and started to leave. I turned and immediately I was facing his biceps. Suddenly he was blocking the way with his hand. I turned to go the other way, but again, it was blocked. Trapped between his arms and stone-cold wall, I tried to find a way out but there was none.

“Please let me go,” I spoke with all the anger that I could muster.

“Tell me the truth,” he replied, so close that his breath glistened on my face. A sweet melodious smell called upon all of my hormones. I raised my hands to cover my face but due to lack of space, I accidentally grazed his thigh.

He looked down with a smile and I glued my hands to my sides.

“This is misbehaving. I will make a scene,” I spoke a bit louder.

“Go ahead. I know you won’t,” he smiled. The smug bastard was right, no matter what happens, I won’t make a scene, in a country like India, it would only backfire.

“What do you want?” I asked shifting in the small space into which I had crawled in.

“The truth. Are you attracted to me?” he spoke getting a little closer.

“Why does it matter?” I spoke bending, moving away from his face. My knees merged with his, I jerked back up.

“I just want to know,” he whispered in my ears causing havoc in my body.

“Yes or no, why does it matter. I am already married,” I spoke in as normal tone as possible.

“Oh, it does matter,” he gently nibbled on my ear as he closed in. A rush of passionate sensation ran through my body.

What in the God’s name is he doing?

“Back off!” I faced him angrily. Although anger was not the emotion I was able to conjure.

“Tell me,” he spoke as he grazed his nose down my jawline.

“Why?” I asked melting under his touch. Now, I had the goosebumps all over my body.

“Because,” he spoke as he placed his lips lightly on mine. My whole body exploded in fire and I felt my lips part with desire. I closed my eyes shut as I clutched on my clothes and dug my nails into my palms to control as much I could.

“I just want to know,” he finished speaking on my lips. He was not kissing me, but he was just there. I could see he was testing me, teasing me and tantalizing those treacherous desires and it was working.

“Tell me you like me,” he spoke as he pressed his entire body into mine and suddenly, I felt something hard poke in me. I felt as if I was not the only one affected by this. A smile broke on my face and he pulled back, embarrassed.

Finally, some shame!

“I am sorry, I got carried away,” he spoke turning his back to me. He quickly fixed his tie, shirt and put on his coat. Then after disconnecting his phone from the projector, he turned on the lights. He was red and fully turned on. I had never seen any man so turned on before; it took me a moment to absorb what just happened.

“Are you okay?” he asked sitting and hiding ‘himself’ under the table.

“No, I am not okay. I don’t know what you aim to do but I love my husband and I have no intention of cheating on him,” I announced and started to open the door, but it was locked. I rattled it but nothing happened.

“Why is this locked?” I asked furiously.

“Did you want anyone to enter before?” he asked and I shook my head in denial.

“That’s why it is locked,” he finished in a matter of fact tone.

“What are you doing Shaun?” I asked honestly this time.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly too, I knew it.

“Look I am not going to be one of your one-night stands, okay?” I spoke irritated.

“Who told you that?” he asked in the same irritated tone.

“Word travels!” I heard spite in my own voice. Was I jealous?

“Whoever said that I do one-night stands is wrong. Yes, I hired sex sometimes but it was just for my sexual needs. I was yet to find the woman I want to be in a relationship with?” he spoke and my focus went on ‘was’?

“So, you found the one for you?” I asked seriously.

“Well, I am still figuring it out but I don’t do one-night stands okay. I offer a plain and simple deal to women and that is all. I do not lure or cheat. Women know what they are getting into, no strings attached,” he explained and I controlled my urge to slap him.

“You think you can hire me?” I demanded angrily.

“Did I make an offer to you?” he asked in a simple yet threatening tone.

“What?”

“Did I say the words like ‘one night’ or ‘one million’ or something in those lines?” he asked and I stared confused.

“With you, I am not looking for some meaningless sex,” he spoke softly.

“What do you want?” I asked almost crying.

“I want more and so much more. I want to know you,” he spoke urgently.

“So, you don’t want to sleep with me?” I asked accusing him.

“Honestly, I do but that’s not the only thing I want from you,” he spoke explaining himself but I was thoroughly confused.

“I am not comfortable with a man who wants to sleep with me. I want to leave,” I spoke irritated. Yes, I was terribly attracted towards him but I did have some self-respect left…

“Then you should not talk to any man in the whole world. At least I am honest about my desires,” he pointed. He was not angry, just a bit hurt.

“It won’t work and what you did back there was totally unacceptable,” I spoke pointing at the wall.

“Err, sorry about that,” he spoke with a huge grin.

“What do you want?” I demanded this time.

“I really like you. I want to know you.” His sincere tone caught me a little off guard.

“What? Why me? I don’t understand,” I started but he cut me.

“I feel drawn to you,” he tried explaining but I could not register what he meant.

He continued for my benefit, “I remember you from Chicago, I remember seeing you. I remember getting inspired by you.” If his plan was to explain himself then he failed brilliantly because I was even more confused now.

“What?” What was he playing at?

“It’s true,” he stressed.

“How could I, a petty executive, have inspired you, the Shaun Malani?”

“I first saw you when I was failing at business. I was in Chicago for a very important meeting and everyone looked at me like a downright loser. Dad had just passed away and I was finding so hard to find my place. Then I noticed you. I was sitting in an office and you were at your desk across it. I do not think you even noticed me. Your beauty was the first thing that attracted me but as I observed you, I realised how contained and self-confident you were. You were not even on my account back then. What you were, an executive?” he asked and I nodded, “and still you had this radiant confidence. People looked up to you for so many things. I counted seven people come up to you in thirty minutes to seek your advice and I thought if this little girl can do this, if she can make her place in a foreign country then why can’t I.”

He spoke of me in such high accord that I couldn’t believe that he was talking about me.

“I think you are confusing me with someone else.”

“Don’t think so, you wore a black skirt, jacket, and red high-neck shirt. Black and red stilettos with beads, I found those very charming by the way. I was stunned to see you that day. You were so young, bright, intelligent yet so quiet. However, you were a little different back then, you were happier. While I observed you from a distance, I knew you were special and your laugh made me smile. Now, I don’t see you laugh like that, your eyes have lost their spark and you are not happy. And oh, not to mention, that fake Prada bag,” he finished with a deep thought.

I remembered that day, I didn’t know he even noticed me back then, “Much has changed in five years,” I replied sadly and much did.

“At that time, I had to control myself, I so wanted to but I couldn’t get to know you, but now it’s like there is something in you that is calling for me,” he finished hopelessly. I knew what was in me that was calling for him – it was my heightened libido. I kept quiet.

“See I believe you too have very strong feelings for me. And I hope, I mean, I know for sure that you are not one of those girls who will feel like this for two men at a time, so,” he stopped abruptly.

“What are you concluding here?” I demanded as I realised the meaning of his last statement.

“Never mind that,” he spoke checking his watch, “I need to calm down, and your presence is definitely not helping,” he spoke hitting his fist on the table.

“You just insulted me and changed the subject.”

“I would never insult you, it’s just that,” he started but stopped abruptly, “please I have a very important meeting in some time and I need to calm down now.” He finished and he went quiet. I knew what he meant; he was not able to control his libido now.

“I am more than happy to leave,” I suggested as I saw him clench and unclench his fist again to gain some control.

“Do you really want to?” he asked painfully.

“See, I am married, I love my husband,” I started.

“BUT?” he asked cutting me.

“What?”

“You love your husband but?”

“There is no ‘but’ here. I love my husband and it is the end of the story.”

“I can see it in your eyes, you are miserable. I can also see that although you do love your husband, you are not attracted to him, you know sexually. You hold more of affection, per se.” His words should have made me angry but instead, they hit home. It was the thing which I had been looking for; maybe it was the source of my long-term misery. Maybe I am not the one with the issue, maybe Daksh is. Maybe it’s not like that I am ‘not’ sexually desirable, maybe Daksh doesn’t find me.

“What?” he asked staring. I wonder what my expressions must have looked like.

“I would like to leave now,” I spoke again.

“I need to calm down before that. I have back-to-back meetings all day. You have no idea what all I had to cancel in order to be here.”

“Why would you want to be here,” I asked the question with the most obvious answer.

“Maybe I should press you against the wall again and tell you,” he barked, silencing me. I knew he could do it and I didn’t have any courage to deny him further, so I maintained my silence.

“Sit down,” he ordered as he dialled someone.

“Send Ashok and Misha in,” he spoke on the phone.

“I am sure that creep will help me calm down. I don’t like him,” he spoke casually after the line went dead.

I couldn’t help but smile. I never had such an effect on Daksh. I wish my husband reacted this way to me. Even if he did once a month, my sex-life would boom and bang the world. I sighed at my own thought.

“By the way, I forgot to mention, you look hideously,” he paused “attractive today. I like you without any makeup,” he finished with a smile.

“What is hideously attractive?” I asked perplexed.

“Check out in the mirror,” he replied in an uninterested tone, but he couldn’t hide his smile. Oh my God, what is happening here? It feels like I am in my courtship period again, well not again because I never had it with Daksh. Oh, Shut Up!

After some more uncomfortable moments, where he twitched on his chair a lot, Ashok and Misha entered, and he switched on his business mood.

It took me a moment to register it; he acted like a completely different man now. I could not believe he was the same man who pressed me against the wall and tortured me with his lips. The quick flash of the moment provoked me. A smile appeared on his face, “Ms. Malhotra, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied in a huffed tone.

“I think you need to calm down, here, take some water.” Was he teasing me? Oh my God, did he just wink at me? Ignoring him, I focussed on business. He had everything planned. Much to my happiness and surprise, he wanted to increase the research budget and spend most of it with us. He backed his plan with a well-crafted statement, “The profits can only come when we expand our scope. And that can only happen with good research.” Neat! Oh My God! I am actually feeling proud of him. This man is going to ruin my marriage, I thought hopelessly.

“Ms. Malhotra? Ms. Malhotra?” he was calling for me.

“Sorry, yes?” I spoke as I came back from divorce-land.

“Are you okay?” he asked again.

“Light-headed. Sorry, you were saying.”

“Please focus. I only have ten minutes for this meeting.” Did he just scold me? And now he was bothered about time. I scoffed inside.

“Anyways, I was saying that I want a dedicated team working on my account,” he continued.

“You already have a dedicated team working on your account.” I tried to focus.

“And I also need two years lock-in with the entire team.”

“What?” I was shocked.

“Especially with the leaders and people managers.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I mean, like you are the leader of my account, so you cannot leave us for the next two years. During this period, the only place you can switch to is the Malani group. This, of course, does not hold for execs and your seniors who look after multiple accounts,” he explained.

“I have a team of twelve people,” I replied confused.

“But ten are just researchers,” Misha pointed.

“Yes, Ashutosh and Sigil lead five people each. Ashutosh and Sigil report into me.” I continued.

“So, that would mean you, Ashutosh and Sigil have to sign the lock-in contract,” Misha clarified.

“Why do you even want that?” I asked Shaun.

“Because I plan to share very sensitive information with you specifically and I don’t want you going anywhere,” he replied gingerly. I had a very strong feeling that he was not talking about work now.

“I need to,” I started but he interrupted me, “I also want you to be my key point of contact or say business partner for entire Asia and Pacific region.”

Did he just drop that bomb on me?

“Asia-Pacific is my highest priority for the next five years. It is the booming market, and yet, globally this region has yielded me the least profits. I want to grow them. I don’t like to deal with multiple people, so you will be like my business partner from your company.”

“But I am not qualified enough for this role,” I added.

“I have seen your work for quite some time, and you come with highest recommendations from my team,” he spoke pointing at Misha and Ashok, who looked just as lost as I was, “you know my company very well so, indeed you are the one,” he finished.

“What are you playing at?” I accidentally spoke my thoughts aloud. Ashok and Misha drew a huge breath of shock.

“Excuse me, what?” he asked in a deep authoritative tone.

“I mean, why, sorry, I mean, I need to discuss it with my business heads. It is not my decision.” I spoke haphazardly, trying pulling myself together.

“Is there something wrong with your neck?” he asked suddenly. I did not realize but I was massaging it.

“It hurts, I guess when,” I started pointing at the wall where he had shoved me, but realizing Misha and Ashok were there I flipped, “I guess I slept funny,” a concern creased his forehead.

“Sorry to hear that! Coming back to work, you were saying it is not your decision?” he spoke.

I wondered how he could change conversations so easily.

It took me a moment to recall what I was saying, “Ah yes, it is not my decision. It’s the business’s decision.”

“It is actually my decision. I spend more than five million dollars with your company in India alone. If your business has a problem with my decision, then they can suck it,” he stated with an authority. While admiring his authority and tone, I unintentionally rolled my tongue on my upper jaw. He gave me fishhook eyebrow look, which was very seductive. His look told me what I was doing—I was drooling all over him, again. Slowly I composed myself.

“That will be all,” he spoke standing up and buttoning his coat. Ashok’s presence did calm him down, I thought laughing inside.

“Ashok, I want the legal documents ready by tomorrow afternoon. Kaya, I will see you tomorrow then,” he finished offering me his hand.

“Err, I am sorry, I am not available tomorrow,” I spoke, shaking his hand but instead he grabbed at it.

“Leave us. Ms. Malhotra and I need to discuss the ways of working,” and Misha and Ashok took our leave. On her way out Misha gave me ‘what the hell was that?’ look and I reciprocated.

“You will be here tomorrow and every day till I am here,” he spoke gripping harder on my hand.

“I heard you were going to Italy tomorrow,” I spoke but regretted instantly.

“You have been enquiring about me?” he replied with a huge grin, as he stepped forward.

“You are the owner, you came up in conversations,” I spoke stepping back.

“You will be here tomorrow,” he ordered again.

“I have other responsibilities too… ah,” he squeezed my hand too hard. He loosened his grip.

“Not anymore. I want your full focus on my work. So, you will be here every day.”

“Please discuss it with Rohit.” I brought bureaucracy to my rescue.

“Fine I will,” he spoke pulling me towards him. The proximity rang sirens in my head; it was as if someone was screaming – Red alert! Red alert! He slowly raised his hand and massaged my neck. His breath, his gaze, and touch on my sweet spot made my knees give in and next moment he was holding me by my waist—I was dangling almost dazed off.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he raised a glass of water to my lips. I was sitting back in my chair.

“Yes, dizzy I guess,” I spoke as I took a sip of water.

“Is it normal for you to feel so dizzy all the time or what?” he was very concerned.

“No, it’s not normal,” I was thinking whether to tell it was his effect when a thought struck me, “maybe I am pregnant.” The words just blurted out and it was him who lost focus this time.

“What?” I asked as he was staring at me with blank expressions.

“Are you sure?” he asked with tearful expressions. When it came to work, I was an exceptional liar but at this moment, my heart gave in.

“Why? Would you leave me alone if I am?” I asked with a smile and it gave me away.

“That was brutal!” He spoke composing himself.

“Well, you deserve it,” I replied with a wider grin. Was I getting friendlier with him?

“Are you sure you are not pregnant because I will never come in the way of a child’s future?” he asked very seriously this time.

I admired his sentiment so I replied honestly, “It is impossible,” I whispered. My joke hit me back and very hard.

I wanted a kid so bad, and as far as I knew, Daksh wanted one too. However, I couldn’t understand what his problem was, maybe Daksh was a little too much into the digital world and he believed that his sperms would somehow fertilize my eggs via the internet. I was so lost in my own weird thoughts that I had left the plain of existence.

“Are you okay?” he asked waving his hand in front of my eyes.

“What?”

“You are weird,” he commented.

“I know!” I smiled. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I was with him now.

“You should be punished for lying to me,” he commented and my expressions turned horrified. If he shoved me into the wall and tortured me like that just to know if I liked him, I wonder what he would do to punish me.

“I said ‘maybe I was,’” I replied quickly.

“So, as your punishment,” he started and another worried looked etched across my face, “don’t worry I won’t spank you or anything, yet!” he winked, and the word ‘spank’ and his wink dropped my jaw leaving my mouth wide open.

“Not spanking you, yet!” he spoke with a smile as he closed my mouth with his index finger, “your punishment is, you will accompany me to Australia, next month – all expenses paid trip.”

“What?” I asked standing up.

“You are my business partner now. I want my business partner with me when I travel, which I actually do a lot. So, I am glad, you are not knocked up,” he finished laughing and I lost my calm.

“I am not coming with you, this is ridiculous. You are just turning this into a dictatorship. God, I hate you.” I announced but he just smiled. Utterly confused with his behaviour, I stormed out of the room and left the building, finally.