CHAPTER 10 : Enjoy While It Lasts

A car drove through the crowds of a fictional city called Jayaraya.  Inside it, there was a man who busy driving while babbling, and a young man who had been ignoring him for a long time.

 "Luckily, Ivan and Devan haven't been home yet.  So we don't need to go around to bring your girl friends."  Dirga laughed crisply at the end of his sentence.

 But as an answer, the young man who insisted on sitting on the back seat just looked out the window with an indifferent face.  Deandra chose to remain silent no matter what his father said.

"You know?  Your mother panicked when she heard from Ivan that you had drowned.  When you get home, you explain to her, okay?"

 "Hm...." Dean moaned like a cow.

 As expected, after that nothing could be heard other than the sound of a car engine.  They had been in the car for almost ten minutes, and the only words that came out of Dean's mouth were questions about whose car his father was driving.

 "If I didn't answer right away that this car was on loan from my boss, maybe Dean would still ask."

 Dirga spoke in his mind.  Slightly regretted his decision because he thought that hearing Dean ask repeatedly along the way would be better than staying in an awkward silence.

 Now each of them is locked in their own thoughts.  Dirga who is busy looking for other things to talk about, and Deandra who has his own thing on his mind.

 "By the way ...."

"Yes?"  Dirga answered quickly.  For a moment his eyes fell on the car's rearview mirror which shone directly on his son's face in the back seat.

 "You said that you wished for an accident somewhere and never made it home.  When was that?"

 Deandra asked a question with a nonchalant face.  His gaze didn't even take his eyes off the view of the city outside the window.  In a way, the first question his son asked after a long silence made Dirga a little disappointed.

"Did I say that?"  he denied.  An awkward smile appeared while Dirga looked straight at the street again.

 "You did."  Deandra answered firmly.  Emphasizing to his father that there is no escape from this conversation.

 "Well… you know …."

 The unconvincing response made Dean glance briefly.  He looked cynically at his father out of the corner of his eye.  At the same time it made Dirga feel like there were thousands of arrows stabbing his back.

 "Your father is a coward.  Since the moment I started feeling that the company was going bankrupt, I had thoughts of running away several times."

 In the end, Dirga had no other choice but to talk.  Even though this was the thing he didn't want to talk about, especially with his son.

 Deandra folded his arms in front of his chest.  Meanwhile, his ears continued to listen to everything Dirga said to him.

 "And on the day the company really went out of business, along the way home many times dad thought about dying.  There's nothing left anyway.  You and your mom might still be able to get by with dad's life insurance money, and I know your mom was a tough woman.  Clarissa won't let herself and her son starve to death."

 "Then why did you change your mind?"  Deandra interrupted, only to raise a question in his mind.

 From the rear view mirror, of course, not only Dirga who could see Deandra.  It also happens the other way around.  That's why from the corner of his eye, Dean could see the smile etched on his father's face.

"Because of you.  I don't want to go yet.  Dean still hasn't had time to bring his girlfriend home.  How could your father miss this golden opportunity right?  What if Dean brought a beautiful woman like Amelia."  Dirga teased at the end of his sentence.

 "What?!  Amel is just my friend!"  Dean suddenly snapped because of the shame that attacked him.

 In response, Dirga laughed loudly.  Feeling successful in teasing his son and lightening the atmosphere a little with his jokes.  But that doesn't mean he wants to run away from the subject.

 "You know?  When I came home I was really scared.  Your mother accompanied me since I was a nobody.  Therefore, I can still be sure that your mother will accept the situation even though it is with a heavy heart.  But what I'm afraid of is you."

 "Me?"  Dean answered quickly.

 In an instant, the atmosphere became serious again for Deandra.  He wanted to know everything about these people.  About the suspicions that had plagued his mind since entering this world.

 "Yes, you.  Because since childhood you have always lived well, even more.  That's why I'm afraid that you won't be able to accept the fact that our lives will really change."

 Slowly but surely, everything is getting grayer.  Deandra could feel the coldness in his palms which he cupped together.  His jaw hardened.  He didn't want to hear the continuation of this fictional story again.

 "But when you came home that night, I really didn't think you would say that to me."  Dirga's smile bloom.

 Unfortunately, the man is not aware of what is going on in his son at this time.  Deandra froze, his whole body was cold and frozen.  But in contrast to that, his hands and lips actually trembled.  Dean could feel the shortness of breath, as if he was now hypothermic.

 "What… did I say?"  with trembling lips, Deandra asked so softly.

 "Hmm?  Did you forget?"  Dirga replied a little teasingly.

 "I did."

Dean's answer made Dirga sigh.  Unfortunately he couldn't see what kind of face Dean was making right now because the streets were engrossed in his attention.

 "It's just what i remember okay?  At that time you said this: 'It's okay, it's actually good!  Because now there's no money between us, so dad can focus on me and mom, right?  We don't need money to be happy.  From now on, every time dad spends chasing those papers, it's all mine and mommy's.'"

 Dirga chuckled, as he turned into the gas station area.

 "When you said that, I realized that I had completely abandoned the two of you.  And thanks to you now our family is happier.  Even though mother has to step in to work to provide for the family, even though Dean has to try to get a scholarship so you can still go to school with Ivan and Devan, but we can get through it all.  All thanks to Deandra."

 The car stopped so smoothly.  Dirga lowered the window and handed a hundred thousand rupiah to the gas keeper.  Meanwhile his mouth still hasn't stopped talking.

 "That's why even now  I still grateful.  Thank you for opening my eyes.  Otherwise, I don't know what will happen.  Isn't that right ... huh? you're asleep already?"

 Dirga's sentence was cut off.  Just when he turned his head because the young man he was talking to didn't make a sound, Dirga was made silent when he saw Dean who was already lying with his back to him in the back seat.

 "This kid... how boring is daddy's story?" he smiled wryly.

 Shortly after, the business at the gas station was over.  Dirga drove back his boss's vehicle calmly.

 "I hope he hears everything to the end."  He muttered while returning a smile.

 Little did Dirga know, the young man in the back seat didn't really sleep.

 Dean covered his mouth as hard as he could to keep from sobbing.  Meanwhile, the tears flowed uncontrollably.  He closed his eyes tightly, holding back the pain that ran through his chest and made his breath catch.

"No... that's not me."

 His mind kept screaming the same sentence.  Being the only one who knows the truth makes Dean tormented in silence.  Until a moment earlier, everything Dirga had told was in harmony with what had happened.

 But Dean realized that all changed right when he entered the response section of him.  He burst into tears when he heard every sentence they said came from him.

 "You never gave me anything but money!  And now you also have no money, and hope that my mother and I will accept you as you are?  Do not dream!  who are you?!  Mr. Dirga Atma Wijaya is not a husband, neither a father. Mr. Dirga Atma Wijaya is a man who only knows how to feed his family with wealth!"

 The scream full of anger from him at that time, the real words he spoke that day tortured Deandra more than he thought.  Dean had no idea that he would ever be able to regret telling his own father all that.

 "If I had said something different, would the result be different too?"  For the first time in his life, Dean had such a question on his mind.

 Deandra endured with mixed feelings.  Pain arose not only in the chest but also in the head.  Then soon, he fell asleep.

 Without realizing that his swollen eyes would make Dirga confused, when his father carried him into the house.

***

 There were a lot of unknown things that happened while Dean was in his slumber.  When he opened his eyes, it was late at night.  The sun is waiting for its turn to greet the earth.

 Deandra sat on the edge of the bed with his eyes swollen.  He was silent for a moment, looking like he was daydreaming even though he had something on his mind.

 Then time passed again.  No one knew what the young man was doing at three o'clock in the morning until finally the sun shone through his bedroom window.

 What is clear, when Dirga knocked on his son's room door and opened it as usual, he could see Dean who was standing quietly with his back to him.

 "Dean, are you ready?  Let's have breakfast!"

 His father's call was momentarily ignored.  Deandra prefers to remain silent and continues to stare at the thick blue-covered book on his study table.

 "Enjoy it while it lasts."  His mind spoke.

 Not long after, Deandra made a big decision.  Without thinking about whether the decision would have a good or bad effect on his life, he tucked the book called Oasis into the desk drawer and closed it.

 "Dean?"  called Dirga again because Deandra never answered.

 A moment later, Deandra turned around.  Looking at his father, who was still loyal, poked his head out from behind the door.  Then he carved a wide smile that suddenly made Dirga widen his eyes in surprise.

 "I'm ready now.  Let's have breakfast!"

 To be continued....