Chapter 41

Henry and Joshua were sat outside in the mild evening air, a laptop, fours cans of beer and an ashtray between them.

After the embarrassing event at the end of dinner, the two escaped as quickly as they could – which was not fast considering their injuries – to the extravagant garden that surrounded the estate. On their way, Joshua had asked for the things presented in front of them as well as two packs of cigarettes.

Now, half an hour and more than half a pack later, they had finished updating Gin on video call, faces still blaring red. All they could do was sheepishly watch as the man on the screen howled with laughter, wishing he could have been there himself.

They had sat quite some way from the house, allowing them to speak freely.

"I can't believe you two were worried people wouldn't believe you! You act more like a couple than me and my girl! What I'd pay to see their faces! Oh my god, you two are insane!" Gin really had no intention in letting this go for the rest of their lives. He didn't know just how much dumber the two could make each other but he was raring to find out.

It took him a full five minutes of laughing by himself for him to calm down enough to properly discuss things. Even then, every so often he'd hiccup, holding back a laugh.

Henry could only hide his face while drinking, knowing that most of the blame lay with him. If he was going to be brave, he should have just stayed brave. There was no need for him to spout that it was Joshua's wish. While, in theory, not only was it true and helped establish their fake relationship further, it was just too embarrassing a moment.

Once things calmed down, Gin put on a serious expression. He suddenly remembered what had happened before the recount of events became a comedy. "Henry, you absolutely certain you don't want me to fuck up Caleb? Cause I can do it. Literally right now while talking to you."

Joshua watched as Henry's face dropped slightly, amazed at how quickly he then proceeded to pick himself up with a sad smile.

The blond man shook his head. "No. Don't do anything to Caleb."

Both Joshua and Gin had come to realise just what Henry would mean when he said that. If it had been anyone else to have hurt him like that, he would have allowed those close to him to exact their own revenge. But it was because it had been Caleb that he was strict on the no retaliation. Of course, one could not have but wonder if someone who had less of a standing in Henry's heart would be capable of hurting him to the extent where he would want revenge.

"I don't get it. He can't fight back; he can't ruin you. Why wouldn't you wanna get your own back."

"Like you said, Gin, you don't get it. He was my best friend. He didn't want to insult me, didn't wish ill on me, didn't try to humiliate me, was upfront about how he felt about things. Don't get me wrong, I am so pissed because he knew what he said would hurt me. But I can't get mad at his opinions, especially when he told it to me straight like that. I'm angry and it hurts, but I can't hate him for being honest."

As Gin kissed his teeth in disapproval, Joshua took a drag of his dwindling cigarette, using his hand to hide his own expression. Now that he had had time to think about it, he couldn't help but feel Henry was being too kind. In fact, he was starting to find himself agreeing with Caroline, Samuel and Gin's sentiments of revenge. How could he not after watching the Henry cry for over an hour just because of this one man's words. This Caleb had hurt him to such an extent all because he thinks Henry is gay, what was the need to be kind to him. The entire thing felt like a sham.

"Anyway, forget that."

Even if Joshua was hiding it, Henry could easily sense his disapproval; Gin, of course, had it pasted on his face. He wanted to move on from the sour topic as quick as possible.

"Have you managed to get anywhere with the Q Group?"

"What sorta superman do you think I am? 'Course not! I'm imbedded into the system but can't extract anything without spending a whole day on it."

The man on the screen received two amazed looks. Even if Gin had not managed to find any real information, the fact he was already within the group's system was considered a lot. If he had gotten this far, it meant it would not be long before he managed to bring in information in real time.

"I'll start experimenting after my next job is over day after tomorrow. Should be able to set up a monitor and start scoping their files by the end of the weekend."

Gin, no matter how he acted, really was an exceptional person when it came to his job. Joshua couldn't help but admire his skill for a moment.

"You two forget the Q Group for now, you got an engagement party to plan…pft!" Gin fell into another fit of laughter, not being able to keep up the teasing tone. A faint voice could be heard in the background of the call, his girlfriend, leading the man to say his goodbyes through his laughter.

Henry and Joshua could only look at the screen, unamused, as the video paused for a second on the laughing face and a beeping tone went off. The call ended, leaving the two blushing once again. Henry put out his cigarette before reaching for the pack between them, ready to light another; the two of them had already burned through the first pack. Crushing the flimsy cardboard, he picked up the second pack, wincing as he tried to remove the plastic film. After a couple seconds, the packet was plucked out of his hand.

"We need to stop smoking; it's getting quite bad now."

Despite his words, Joshua peeled open the transparent film, taking a cigarette out for himself. The other man could only sigh in response as it was passed back to him. The smoking really did have to stop.

A peaceful silence fell between them. However, even if the silence itself was peaceful, both men were too deep in their thoughts to appreciate it.

Henry did not know how to start the next conversation. Even if Gin had been joking, they really did have to plan their part of the engagement party. But the usually well-spoken young man had no clue how to bring it up.

On the other hand, Joshua was stewing in embarrassment. He did not want to move onto planning the party nor the wedding. Even if he really did want to, in that single moment, all he desired was to forget the events during dinner did not happen.

Unluckily for him, Henry soon found his words, opting for the more casual, inquisitive approach.

"You really are a romantic, who would have guessed. Weddings must mean a lot to you, huh?"

Even though it would usually be difficult to say something like this without sounding cynical or insincere, Joshua felt none of that from Henry's question. It put his nerves to ease, helping him relax and allowing him to answer. "Mn, yeah. I think weddings are such a beautiful and magical moment."

The honest response made Henry feel at ease, as the older man's calmness always did.

Joshua looked up at the clear sky and sighed. "Honestly, I really wanted to plan my own wedding. To make it a special memory with someone I really loved, or at the very least liked." He took a drag of his cigarette before scoffing a little at himself. "Heh, that makes me a little too sappy."

"Nah, I don't think so. Although, I do think it's bold of you to think that far when you don't have a girlfriend."

After a short moment of silence, they met eyes and found themselves sharing a gentle laugh.

With a good atmosphere now established between them – thanks to how seeing the other calm would ease their own nerves, which somehow worked for both of them simultaneously – Henry decided to proceed with the real matter at hand.

"Well, I didn't lie earlier. I'm not a fan of the marriage, and unlike you, I never even fathomed the thought of getting married before. But, if we are getting married, we should at least have fun with it. It's not an ideal situation, but there is not point hating the entire thing. Plus, I definitely do not want to leave it to our parents and whatever flashy plans they have in mind. Our whole 'coming out' thing was a pain as it is." The young man wasn't sure why he had started waffling. All he could do was tip back the remains of his beer before cutting to the chase. "So, now that we have an engagement party and wedding to plan, what kind of wedding do you want?"

Joshua turned his head up as soon as Henry looked his way.

But it was too late. The image had already been burned into his mind.

Henry's sandy hair had once again fallen into a mess, whatever styling he had used in the morning essentially gone, as if it had never been there to start with. Peaks of his face were visible through his hair. However, it had not been enough to hide the residual blush on the young man's ears and cheeks; they were still dusted a rose colour against his lightly tanned skin. His features were as picture perfect as ever, his face sculpted to an enviable ratio of youthfulness to masculinity to beauty.

It was, however, not these details that had really caught Joshua's attention.

Those amber eyes gleamed through the blond stands, sparkling, glowing even. The gaze they held showed a refreshing yet calming integrity, almost as if gently coaxing for an answer. Yet, behind that, there was an uncertainty.

It made the unwavering gaze just a little more human.

The more Joshua focused on the image he witnessed, he realised that even though it had been the younger man's calmness that had eased his nerves, the other was still nervous, acting careful with his words.

It struck something deep within him, although he was not entirely sure why. And even if he tried to dismiss the strange feeling, even he could not deny that the look in Henry's eyes in that short moment, it had made a mark on him.

So much so that, even without being aware of it, the memory, the gaze, it would forever be imprinted in Joshua's mind.

Of course, all this coursed through the beautiful man's head in the matter of seconds, similar to when he would check out his brother's various women, so Henry only saw that Joshua was thinking about his answer.

It was only once Joshua put out his half-used cigarette – it sticking out on the full ashtray due to its extra length – and leaned back did he answer.

"Well, to start with, I am with you on our parents. Not once have I wanted a high-key wedding, even less so now. I don't even want to think about something so grand, it gives me shivers." He paused for a few seconds before looking at Henry for a second, quickly looking back up to the stars. Although, in reality, he was not seeing the stars at all. As he continued, his face heated up. "Aside from that, well… I have a couple ideas on my laptop actually. You can find the folder if you want."

For a moment, Henry was shocked at so easily being given access to someone else's personal computer, but when he noticed the rosy tint on Joshua's fair skin deepening in colour, he quickly figured the other man was too embarrassed to face him.

He was not wrong, that really was the case.

Taking up the offer, he pulled the laptop closer to him, quickly finding the folder called 'wedding ideas'. It was hidden deep within personal files, but in the end, not all that hidden; just a quick keyword search lead him straight there.

In the folder, there were five separate folders, and within each of them were a handful of documents, saved webpages, pictures and drafts. These were more than just the couple ideas that Joshua had spoken about. There were five fully planned, extremely adaptable and thoroughly thought through weddings. Every detail from the theme that would fit each venue to the social circles on the guestlist to the food to the engagement to the lead up of the wedding. Henry found himself engrossed in the sheer details of the innovative and practical ideas, all of which clearly held some sort of sentiment or thought. Nothing was a superficial choice, it all tied in beautifully.

Joshua had called them ideas, but Henry could literally feel the emotions that went into all of this; it amazed him.

When Joshua could finally bring himself to look back at the other man, he found that Henry was earnestly looking through everything. He hadn't expected that. At most, he thought that Henry would have a quick flick through one of the folders, if even that, before making some smart or sarcastic comment. But the man found that, as embarrassing as it was, even though the plans were extremely personal to him, he did not mind Henry seeing them.

Feeling the look, Henry momentarily glanced up, his lip twitching at the expression on Joshua's face. He was reminded of expression he had seen when receiving an apology in the bathroom during the mess of a brunch. Back then, Joshua had looked nervous and bashful. This time he looked, the expression, although once again one of nerves, was mixed with clear anticipation. Once again, he looked younger than normal, like a child who had just shown something off and was waiting for validation. Joshua really did have a cute side to him, that was something Henry had no choice but to admit now.

Joshua himself was not aware if the look he had on his own face, nor that he was looking for validation from the other man.

"You and I have very different definitions of ideas, you realise that?" Henry finally said as he looked through the final folders, his voice light and humorous. "Just how many weddings were you planning to have?"

"Just one," Joshua mumbled, almost pouting sheepishly at the fact.

"Why did you join your family's company? You should have just gone into event planning. It would have been such a shame to let these plans go to waste."

Unintentionally, Joshua's eyes sparkled at the compliment. When it came to such things, the 23-year-old became unintentionally soft. Seeing the more familiar expression, Henry found himself being influenced too.

"Luckily, now they don't have to go to waste."

"Why?"

"Because you have me."

Henry sent his boast with a dazzling smile, Joshua laughing at the behaviour.

However, the younger man hadn't been wrong, after going through all the plans, he managed to find a good number of details and sentiments that ran through all the plans; those were the parts that were clearly the most important to Joshua. And reading through them all had brought him to realise various things across the plans were also to his liking. It also inspired a few ideas of his own.

In the end, Henry had multiple ideas running through his head, most of which incorporated the main factors of each plan. Now he was itching to get these ideas written down, flesh them out and discuss them. He was suddenly seeing an appeal to wedding planning.

So once all the joking was put aside, the two men found themselves quite happily planning their unwanted wedding. They stayed true to what Henry had earlier said, having as much fun in the situation they were in.

Not that either of them would have ever thought that planning a wedding with another man would be this enjoyable.

Both stayed focused on the laptop, eagerly chatting away, the alcohol and tobacco abandoned.

The forgotten ash tray was sat in the lawn behind them, now with two half-smoked cigarettes standing above all the burnt-out butts.