Chapter 4

Felix was in class seated all by himself, as usual. His earpods were blasting some random songs from his playlist while he was eating some chips as his lecturer hadn't entered yet. He tried his best not to look at his coursemates– he didn't want to be called a creep– because he knew people didn't like being stared at. Well, them in particular.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and was momentarily shocked at the person who seemed interested in intruding on his personal space.

"Um… "

"Felix," the person said, like they were friends or something. "You're always by yourself in class, ears covered– what are you listening to?"

He realized who was talking to him. It was the assistant class rep, Jon "Big-Eye" Gbadebo who was known to be up in everyone's business all the time. Felix liked lively people and all, but this guy's type of liveliness wasn't fun, it was downright annoying and just so…chaotic. Sometimes. They called him Big-Eye because… well, he had big eyes and knew how to put them to use, mostly in a bad way. Also, his eyes were his most prominent feature on his face, compared to his pointed nose and small lips. That didn't mean he was ugly though, his eyes were just big.

"Lil Nas X," Felix muttered, pausing his music, waiting impatiently for the big-eyed boy to move away from him. He could feel him breathing on his neck.

"Oh." Jon's excited tone changed, making Felix curious. "The gay guy, right?"

"You don't like him?"

Felix wanted to slap himself for asking. Wasn't he the one who wanted the nosey boy to leave his presence less than a minute ago? What was his problem?!

Jon leaned back, a thoughtful look on his face. "He danced on the devil."

"Then killed him."

He was surprised that the usually loud Jon wasn't so loud anymore, instead his expression turned solemn. He seemed… interested?

"Yeah… I just don't know how to feel about him, I guess. I mean, I believe in human rights, and he is human, so I respect that," Jon said, after some time. "And– "

"Lil Nas X?!"

They both winced at the piercing scream of the new comer. It was Debbie. He didn't like her. At. All.

Great. A homophobic comment coming soon, so exciting!

"Nawa o, I didn't know you listened to such trash people," she said, a look of disdain at his phone.

"You're free to listen to whatever you want to, Debbie," he said, trying to go back to listening to his music since she'd interrupted he and Jon's conversation. The latter though, didn't look like he'd be moving away anytime soon.

"You should listen to some Mercy Chinwo to like, clear your ears of such devil music."

"I don't think there's anything devilish about his music," Felix defends.

Debbie looked offended now, a deep frown on her face. "Didn't you hear… watch the video to one of his songs? That one that was very popular a few years ago? He was half-naked, danced to hell and danced on the devil! He's disgusting and evil! No one like him should exist! It doesn't help that gay people are disgusting bastards created by the devil, but to be so audacious in their evil is horrifying!"

Felix could feel nothing but anger at the girl standing in front of him. The video literally had a strong message and she was purposefully ignoring it. The way she was talking about this artist made him feel like she was talking about him. She thought he was disgusting, created by the devil. If she thought that then he wondered what she would think of him if she knew he was gay– if she knew he was like him.

Probably demand that he'd be lynched.

It didn't take long for someone to hear them arguing and so the conversation was spread in the class, making it a place of chaos as some homophobic slurs were thrown around. From what he could hear, he knew that if he were to come out to these people, he'd be dead within less than a minute. Nope, no hope for people like him yet.

He turned up the volume of his music and tried to get comfortable, thankful that Debbie had disappeared with her craziness and Jon–

"What are you still doing here?" He asked, noticing the big-eyed boy sitting beside him. He was used to sitting by himself so he felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Do you mind?"

He shook his head in response.

He did though, he really did. But he was trying to be nice since Jon was in a different mood. He didn't know why though, and he didn't think it was in his place to ask as they weren't even friends.

"I'll sit here for class today," Jon said over the noise.

"Okay," Felix agreed, seeing no point in arguing. As long as he didn't bother him.

"The level of homophobia I just heard from you all bothers me."

The room suddenly became quiet. Everyone's attention turned to the owner of the deep yet soft voice. It was Professor Mandi.

The tall, slim older woman walked into the room with powerful steps, looking at no one in particular as she stood in front of them.

"Good afternoon everybody," she said, notebook in hand and glasses set on her face.

"Good afternoon, Professor."

"I'm supposed to talk about something totally different, but, I'll talk about this… this topic I overheard you battling about a few seconds ago. If you don't mind."

Not like she was asking for permission. The woman always did whatever she wanted to.

"Now, what is homophobia?"

The whole class groaned.

"Okay, then I'll talk… "

She spent a few minutes defining homophobia, explaining why it was bad and whatnot.

Felix knew that despite her good intentions, no one was going to pay attention to her teachings. She was adding fuel to their disgust, anger and irritation for real, unless she was some miracle worker, some of his classmates were sure to interrupt her in 1, 2, 3–

"Homosexuality is a sin!"

Professor Mandi paused. She focused her gaze to the person who interrupted her, just behind Felix.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, it is! The Bible says so. And even if the Bible doesn't say so, it's obviously abnormal to be with someone who is of the same gender. Disgusting!"

That was Debbie. Not unexpected.

There were murmurs of agreement, but Felix just sighed. He really wasn't interested in participating in a debate about the LGBT.

Professor Mandi frowned. "I'd like you all to shut up."

She didn't even have to shout and they obeyed her quickly.

"I have to say that I'm not too surprised by your reactions to information about the LGBT community as your parents and… maybe religious leaders probably taught you everything you know, but I think that can be changed."

That was the most amusing thing Felix had heard from her today. She had too much faith in them.

"Just see the members of that community as humans," she carried on. " I think that's all they want, and deserve."

"No sane human would do such abominable acts," someone opposed.

Felix sighed. The woman really needed to give up and just teach her course.

"I think humans have done way more abominable acts than that, if you want to call being gay abominable."

She was being so calm in her response. It was impressive. But despite the fact that he was impressed, Felix had to block out the remaining conversation because he was just tired.

He noticed how quiet Jon was. He liked talking about any and everything, but for the first time he was silent.

Weird.

*****

He was back at the music department again. Except, this time he was at the music department's hall, where they usually did their various performances. Ada said they were going on stage soon and Psalm was the lead singer. It was a project for everyone in his class and since she was already close to him, she was allowed to watch and help out. She could even invite someone if she wanted.

So, she invited Felix. He only agreed because he wanted to watch Psalm. He'd never admit that aloud though.

"You made it!"

He grinned at his excited friend. "You invited me."

Ada smiled. "I know you'd rather go home and sleep though, so it still shocks me that you come to meet me everytime I ask."

Felix shrugged, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, letting her wrap hers around his waist. "Can we go in? I want to see what this huge building looks like inside."

"Of course! Psalm's just about to start."

Internally, he became as excited as she was.

Walking in, he could hear the sound of instruments being played, the chorus humming and some people shouting.

"Okay, okay!" A guy with big glasses and a big notebook and pen in hand turned to everyone. "It's time to practice together!"

"That's Andrew," Ada whispered. "You could say he's the director. He's in charge of everything."

Felix nodded. He wouldn't have guessed that, with his small stature except for the beard that showed some age, and his booming voice.

"Okay, start with the introduction, then you go on," Andrew said, now sitting down on one of the chairs in front.

Felix sat down too, with Ada by his side, now entranced by Psalm's smile as the attention was on him.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Psalm, my band and I are here to perform some of our well rehearsed songs. We hope that you enjoy the show. Our first song, as is on the flier is 'More.'"

Then he started singing, followed by the drums, and others.

Couldn't hold you any longer

Kissing you could never quench my hunger

They said we shouldn't be together

But what can I do when I want more of you?

Crazy moments I want us to share

Trying to hurt us, they could come closer if they dare

Hurting…

They did up to seven songs, Psalm being the lead. He didn't even look tired, and his voice didn't crack even once. It was crazy. Of course, he switched sometimes. The chorus would sing, the others would sing sometimes, but he was the main guy, honestly. He was the only one people would be focusing on the D-Day.

"This is freaking beautiful," Ada whispered beside him.

The singer was beautiful, too.

Felix looked at her. Her eyes sparkled under the lights, and her grip on his arm was strong. Yeah, she was very excited.

So was he.

The last song was beautiful, to be honest. Not like the other ones weren't or anything, but it was different somehow… sexy and loving in the sense. His voice… His voice was beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Now he understood why he said he was the gospel. Because if the man was singing to make him repent, he wouldn't have to tell him twice. Also, the emotion in his eyes while he was singing was so… It almost felt like he was singing to him, which was ridiculous. It wouldn't be bad to date a singer–if he'd ever date–because there was just something beautiful about being with someone who would write your name in the sands of time with music.

After the rehearsal, Ada dragged Felix backstage. She said she wanted to talk to Psalm.

"You know, you could talk to him without me," Felix whined as the shorter girl tightened her grip on his arm, waving and complimenting the few people she knew. He winced a bit as he saw some giving him curious looks.

He wasn't excited to see Psalm. The guy made him nervous sometimes enough from afar, up close would be much worse. And he was still thinking about how to ask him about the 'I'm a part of it' statement.

"I'm sure he'd want to talk to you too," Ada said.

They reached where the singers were situated. Some were drinking water, others were eating, and others were just sitting, or talking.

Psalm was doing all of those activities.

"He doesn't look tired," Felix pointed out.

"Well… he's kind of a professional, what do you expect?"

Professional, huh. Maybe he should go online and look his performances up. He'd only seen clips.

Psalm stopped what he was doing when they got closer, setting his eyes on Felix and smiling.

"Not him smiling at you first when I waved at him," Ada said, amused. "He likes you."

Felix rolled his eyes at his friend's teasing.

"Hi," Psalm said, startling him a bit.

When did he get to his front so fast?

"Hey."

The taller guy was holding a bottle of water, his other hand in his pocket. He seemed relaxed.

That made one of them.

"Did you enjoy my performance?"

"Yes, I did!" Ada exclaimed, making them break eye contact.

"Hey, Ada".

"I'm surprised you heard me," Ada said, looking at him in mock disgust.

Psalm laughed. "I apologize."

"Anyway, we loved your performance. You're really good."

"Thanks. And, I know I'm good. Very, very good."

"So humble," Felix muttered.

"I know, right?" Psalm responded playfully.

Felix forced himself not to blush. Nope.

"Are you coming for the main event?"

Felix shook his head, feeling a bit regretful. "The tickets are quite…"

"I could pay for you."

Felix stood in a state of shock. "Huh?"

Psalm grinned. "I'll pay for you, only if you promise to come."

"I–"

"He's definitely coming," Ada said, again reminding them that she was around.

Ada didn't need to buy a ticket since she was working backstage.

"Yes," Felix said.

It was free after all.

"I'll try to pay you back later."

Psalm just waved it away. "Forget about it. I'm not accepting any money from you, Felix."

"But I–"

"We'll talk later."

He walked back to his seat, not even bothering to listen to his protests.

"He must really like you," Ada said, "Him paying for your ticket is a big deal. Especially since it's quite expensive for just regular people. But people like him enough to risk it."

"How much are the regular tickets?"

"10k."

"Excuse me?"

"VIP is about 100k."

Felix blinked. "Wow."

Really, wow.