Chapter 18 - the guilt

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Shht.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Shht.

Tap.

Shht.

Tap.

Shht.

Tap.

Shht. Shht. Shht.

As I walked through the halls of the school during lunch break, doors quickly shut as I approached them.

It was only my first day back, yet everyone already seemed wary of me. I was not sure if it was because of the fact I was suspended on the first day of school or if it was because the news story regarding my body being found in the crime scene of the incident a few weeks ago.

The air was tense, and the few faces I saw stared at me with fear as clear as day.

With a sigh, I made my way to the library.

Shht.

"I'm here."

Shht.

There was no response. The library was completely silent.

~What was I expecting?

Achoo!

A light, high-pitched sneeze broke the silence.

Curious, I walked forwards.

"Hm?"

I turned to meet the half-lidded gaze of a quiet girl— the quiet girl, more like, of the Tea Time Book Club: Rea Dola, as the other members call her. Her light-colored face stared at me, her expression unchanging.

"So you're back."

"Yep."

Silence returned. The small exchange of words somehow felt like enough yet also not. It was a strange, nerve-wracking feeling that I could not begin to describe even with the immense amount of vocabulary I received from the book-wielding clone I had encountered in my previous dreams.

Then, out of the blue, the girl's lips moved once more to speak again.

"Welcome back."

These simple words made me feel something I had not felt before. A sense of belonging, which in turn brought a surprising sense of security.

With a small nod, I responded in a like manner.

"Yeah."

Shht.

"Yo! Tea Time Book Club, it's time to celebrate our newbie Yoiya's return! Konpaiiii!"

Kiwusawa had burst into the room, full of energy as she always were. Kuroshin waved at me from behind he as he quietly followed behind.

"Glad to have you back with us, Yoiya." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder as he sat beside me.

Kiwusawa stomped her foot on the table, raising a box that smelled of sweets.

"Unfortunately, Cherubi couldn't be with us today because of family business… but we can still celebrate without her!"

"Huh? Where is she?" I asked curiously.

Kuroshin's expression straightened.

"Well, I guess you didn't hear since you were in there too… The cafe they found you in… Her older sister and dad worked there."

My heart immediately dropped. The sense of security I felt before completely disappeared. My mind rewound back to meeting the black-haired girl at the cafe during my first visit with Mia.

~Serbi…

The more I thought about it the more I realized how alike they looked. Emotions begin welling up inside of me but I did everything in my power not to show any of them. Instead, I forced a smile as I looked at Kuroshin.

"Oh… I see. I'm sorry to hear her sister and dad got caught up in that…."

Kiwusawa shouted out and pointed at us.

"Hey what are you two talking about! This is a time to celebrate so grab a donut and eat! They're good! My mom made them just for us!"

"Ah, your mother was always a good baker, Kiwusawa." Kuroshin responded, reaching for one.

"I know right!?" She muttered, with a donut in her mouth.

"Please remember to chew and swallow before you talk, Kiwusawa. You're our club representative."

"Mhm!"

The idle chiding of the two began to fade away as I sank into my thoughts.

~I killed them… Well… it was the other me… But still me… I'm the reason he was even here…

"Yoiya? You okay?"

Kuroshin shook me, snapping me back.

"Ah. Yes, I'm fine." I quickly responded, realizing I had worried him.

"You look pale."

"That's my natural complexion."

"Really?" Kiwusawa commented, clearly high on sugar. "You should get some more vitamin D, buddy."

"Right…"

…

The celebrations went off without a hitch. I returned to class, but everyone still seemed scared of me.

I could hear their whispers, read their gazes like books.

"He's a monster." They silently spoke. "He's an alien. Why is he here?" They continued.

"They say half of his body was crushed… How is he not dead? Is he a mutant?" They questioned in hushed tones.

"What is he? He's definitely not a human, right? There's no way." It went on.

Only when the teacher came into the room to teach did the whispers around me go silent. But when those whispers stopped, the whispers inside began.

~You killed her. You killed them all. What was that about never using the power of creation to destroy? Did Ener teach you nothing?

Thoughts formed into knifes that stabbed at me constantly. The more I tried to push them away, the more I felt the words they spoke. With a slight groan, I eventually grew tired.

"Yuruichi." The teacher spoke in the middle of class. "Are you alright? Would you like to go to the nurse's office?"

"I'm good." I lied.

The teacher looked at me skeptically then continued speaking. "Okay, class. Study these terms while I take your classmate to the nurse."

He placed down the pointer and walked over to me, hoisting me up out of my seat.

"Come with me."

"Hold on, teach."

Ake Mori, the class representative, stood up abruptly.

"I'll take him. Please continue to teach our class."

The teacher glanced at my slumped body then at Ake.

"Very well. I'll leave him to you, miss Mori."

Ake swung my arm over her shoulders and led me out the classroom. I could hear her muttering as we walked.

"Geez." She sighed. "You just got out of the hospital, why did you come to school so soon. And the way our classmates are treating you… that's something else entirely."

…

I woke up in a city of grayscale. The cement was cold, the wind was hot, and the sky was dark.

I stood to my feet in a panic, on high alert. The place felt familiar yet I was not sure why.

Alll the buildings had collapsed, massive tree roots held some debris up creating a strange urban labyrinth around me.

"Huh?"

"I based it off my world and your's. Off the place we battled in. The tree roots came here on their own and messed it up. Our mastery over creation is something else, isn't it?"

A distorted voice echoed in my ear. I raised my head up towards a cliff formed by the roots and a fallen skyscraper. There stood a black figure, half his body burning in dancing black flames, the other half completely human, aside from a deformed black claw.

I had recognized him completely in an instant.

"You."

"Thought you got rid of me? Did you forget I'm you and that you're a primordial? Primordials are considered the strongest kind of pseudo-immortal there is. Not to mention, we can be pretty damn stubborn."

My doppleganger sneered at me. Though, he seemed extremely more level-headed than our previous encounter.

"Dousing my flames isn't going to do anything. It may look like fire but there's no element to it. It's just for show. Looks cool, doesn't it?"

He hopped down from the manmade cliffside as he approached me.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Every step he made made light clicking noises as he crossed the cold gray cement. With sensitive ears, one could make out faint fizzle and crackling noises mixed in with each sound.

He raises his arm and with a bit of force, he flicked my forehead.

"Weakling."

Then, I could find myself falling.

When I hit the ground, and sat up… The other me was gone.