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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

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Kirin.

Naruko's face was somber as she walked into the empty clearing that had a simple wooden table in the middle of it. She sensed the gold dust running through the area, the poisonous canisters hidden in the ground, and the numerous other traps.

She ignored it all, for it did not matter. They could not comprehend the kind of monster she was - neither Pakura nor Rasa. She knew they would be arrogant, thinking they could handle her - after all, they would compare her to Gaara. To Shukaku. They would be fools too, and she truly wished they didn't - on this day she did not wish to kill 25 loyal ANBU and a Kage-level opponent. All who could one day be used in the defense of the world. 'Spies. Traitors, and the like. They are useless. But loyal Shinobi? People trying to do their best for their struggling Village no matter the methods?'

She somberly sat down at the table. She could sense the ANBU slowly surrounding the area, she could sense Pakura 'approaching' the area after having backed off. She could sense the golden eye of the Kazekage in the sky.

For how could she not? The Sand Village did not understand the terror of the Mind's Eye of Kagura - they did not understand the terror of a Jinchuriki who could heal through all pains and all wounds. 'The Sand Village in the end... Doesn't understand what a Genius truly is in our accursed world. For in the end, it is not the Five Great Ninja Villages, but simply the Four, and it is only through the efforts of Chiyo in the last three wars that the Sand Village even still exists among the five.' 

With a simple tap of her finger on the table two steaming cups of tea would appear materializing from the tiny Fuinjutsu scripts that appeared on the table at the tap of her finger. She gently sipped her own as Pakura entered the clearing making a show, but a subtle one, of observing the clearing. 'She thinks this show will work. She thinks that her hidden strength will matter. No, Pakura. What matters is a simple decision. Do you bait Death on this day?' She took another sip to cover her somber thoughts and rising emotions.

"Tea, Pakura, Lady of the Scorching Heat?"

Pakura got closer. "No, no thank you." 

Naruko shrugged and grabbed the second tea cup bringing it over to her side. "I didn't expect the Hokage to send you of all people, Kyuubi Jinchuriki." 'Indeed. I wonder, if you knew, would you have still laid this trap... Or would the trap be even heavier?'  

She hummed around her tea taking a sip. "Indeed, the Hokage thought that it would be safer to send me in case negotiations broke down. Unless of course, you'd have liked Tsunade here?" 

Pakura did not grimace at the comment for she was a shinobi on a mission, but Naruko could see the dawning realization of how absolutely fucking idiotic this trap was. Jiraiya or Tsunade would have just torn this trap apart. Gai would have looked on sadly at them as they poisoned him and dehydrated him, before blowing that all away as he opened up the Gates. Kakashi would have slowly picked them all apart as he killed each of them individually. 'The Earthen Wall' Yuna Senju, who she knew was the Mokuton User, would have done much similar - albeit Pakura would have survived more than likely. 

As for Danzo? Well, he was old, but not only did he now have at least a basic version of Wood Style, but he could even sneak up on her - they would have all been dead before they even realized it. 'What were they thinking? I've heard great tales of Rasa's power, but it seems... He truly never was meant to be Kazekage.' 

"Now that you're here Pakura-san, I believe your village wished to negotiate with Konohagakure?"

Pakura seemed to grasp a hold on that as they had both fallen to their thoughts and said, "Yes. In these trying times Sunagakure wishes to re-affirm our ties with Konohagakure," the ANBU were tightening their position. The golden dust in the air and under the ground was ever-so-slowly building, "that is why a meeting was requested. To settle border issues, and re-affirm our stance to act together against the other Five Great Nations."

Naruko peacefully smiled as if she believed her words. "That's great to hear Pakura-san. You see we were quite worried that we would sadly have to once again face all Four Great Nations by ourselves. After all with Iwa's forces building on the borders of Fields Country, Kumo slowly building in Hot Water, Kiri slowly trying to force into the Land of Forests, and the Land of Rivers being quite strange in their communications - well, we didn't know what to expect." 

Pakura did not physically shift - but Naruko could feel the chakra shifting in the area as the ANBU hastened their 'subtle' movements. "Of course not Naruko-san, we had noticed these movements as well." 'Partial lie. So it isn't a four-way alliance, good. But they knew about one. So either working with Iwa or Kumo.' 

Naruko took another sip of her tea. "I see. That's impressive considering the Kiri movements I mentioned didn't exist. But understandable, I, after all, am just a mere Chunin - you would know more than me Pakura-san." That was a blatant lie, and one she knew Pakura would know.

At this point any higher-up in the villages knew her reputation, she had indeed gotten subtle confirmation that both Danzo and Gramps were spreading it. Whereas Pakura was a Jonin, albeit a Kage-level one, that was well known to have tensions with her own Kazekage.

"I'm sure you just weren't informed yet Naruko-san, but we are both in agreement that our allyship and bond must be maintained?" The look on Pakura's face was still perfect - no sign of the oncoming trap.

Naruko maintained her smile but didn't answer the question. "I said something to my ANBU Guard once Pakura-san. I wish to pose a similar theoretical question to you. When the Heavens weep - do you think it has a greater meaning? You see, when this rain began there were no clouds, but I sensed no chakra usage. I'm the greatest sensor in the entirety of Konohagakure you see. So - when there was no chakra usage, and there was no buildup of clouds, and the air even in the sky where the clouds are was quite dry, why is it now raining?"

Pakura slowly went rigid, not from the question - no, but from the word 'sensor'. "You see, I have a theory. When Heaven Weeps, it is a sign of changing time. A warning. A message to a certain set of people - you are at the precipice." Naruko took another sip from her cup of tea.

"So I'd like to pose a second question. Why does the Kyuubi Jinchuriki walk into a meeting in the middle of nowhere, let herself be surrounded by 25 ANBU in the middle of a poisoned field that they all have the antidote to, and let a Kage-level Shinobi who can kill anyone within five feet of them get within five of them, and then allow a clone of the Kazekage to slowly build up golden sand below and above the meeting area?" 

Naruko didn't move into motion. Neither did the ANBU. Neither did Pakura. "Perhaps this third one isn't a question for you Pakura, but for your Kazekage," she turned her head east towards the man slowly walking out of the forest, "my third question Kazekage, knowing all of this - do you still want to betray Konohagakure?" She did not ask if he would like to fight. For it would not be a fight, it would be a massacre. They had prepared this entire conversation and even beforehand. They were readied. She was outnumbered. She would demolish them. 

Rasa didn't answer immediately but had an obvious pondering look on his face. A third chair formed out of golden sand as he sat down at the table. "It's interesting Naruko Uzumaki. When I set this meeting, I knew exactly where every single Shinobi who could possibly come was. I knew Tsunade couldn't come. I knew Jiraiya couldn't. I knew Might Gai would not be sent. I know the Earthen Wall is in Hot Water, and I know that Kakashi Hatake is currently subtly clashing with Iwa forces in a series of battles."

He stared her directly in the eyes, "So I came to a singular conclusion. Hiruzen would not send Danzo. What would he do if I asked for a meeting at this exact time? If he denied me - he would show weakness, he can't do that in these times. If a clan head left for this meeting pre-war, he would show weakness. So I pondered, what would he do? Would he send one of his hidden assets? Revealing his cards in what could be perceived as desperate?"

He chuckled. "It seems Hiruzen Sarutobi and I thought the exact same thing. He sent the one person available I couldn't act on, and would secure our allyship. The one person who is too unknown for me to know the answer. If I told my forces to attack you - could you slaughter them all? How far is your Bijuu training? How far have you mastered your clan arts?"

He shook his head. "I sense the surprise in you child. You are still far too young to truly perceive your grandfather and I's games." There was almost a fatherly look on his face.

"Tell Hiruzen we remain allies through this coming war. Pakura, Echo Squadron - fall back. It was nice meeting you Naruko Uzumaki."

He crumbled into gold dust. Naruko stayed at the table, even as the ANBU and Pakura fell back. Eventually, she sighed.

"Rasa of the Kazekage clan. I didn't underestimate your power. No - I underestimated your mind and your character." A chuckle escaped her, that slowly turned into laughter. One of relief. One of shock.

"I'm glad I did so however Rasa. I'm truly glad... I didn't have to kill some fine Shinobi on this day. They all still felt you know? They all were still sad about the actions they were about to commit." Naruko shook her head with a smile on her face. "What a fucking world, y'know?"

She drained the second cup of tea before standing up. "It appears it was not you that was arrogant, but I on this meeting." A happy smile appeared on her face. "Very well then Rasa." She rose a sparkling hand. "Let this Jutsu in this world not be one of vengeance. Let it not be one where it is first seen to be soaked in blood. But let it be one - to mark allies."

She slowly stepped away from the meeting area. "Beckon towards Peace & Prosperity, Kirin!

She continued walking as the roar of a titanic construct made of Natura Lightning emerged from the clouds before slamming into the meeting area, completely obliterating it. "What a world, eh Kurama?"

-Suna-

As the titanic construct surged from the Heavens, he simply laughed. "What a lucky bastard you are Sarutobi. She truly would have slaughtered my men with that. I can't use my true power through a clone after all." He shook his head before laughing again.

No one expected that.

Well, everyone expected Kirin. But the other part. Yeah, that thing.

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