320— Han Leifeng's Explanation (2)

Han Leifeng didn't say anything, and Pei Yueran carried on talking.

"And that day you told me to keep warm because winter had arrived, you didn't actually die, you just pretended? But the monitors beeped and the nurse said your vital signs were dropping," Pei Yueran said, frowning as she tried to recollect clearly.

The way she blanked out as she saw his eyes close with a strange note of finality, the eerie sounds as the machines began beeping chaotically and how she felt like her world had come crashing down—it all began to play again in her mind, causing her to grimace.

She remembered seeing the doctors preparing to perform CPR on him, but she was quickly escorted out of the room by a nurse before she could watch the process.

Han Leifeng spoke up, "Apparently, the doctor gave me something that put me to sleep, that was what caused that. By the time I woke up, I was out of City A. I flew abroad shortly after, went back to school, and studied business management."

"I see," Pei Yueran said calmly.

It meant that the death scene that formed the basis of her many nightmares was only enacted for her to see.

Pei Yueran stayed silent for a few moments, digesting the bitter feeling. Then she asked, "When did you return?"

"About half a year ago. My father's successor —my half-brother died, and they needed a new heir." His tone was bland.

"Let's talk about your circumstances later. Now, let's say I agree that your situation was indeed precarious and it was something you couldn't confide in me about.

"But in those eight or so years, you didn't even think of giving me even the smallest hint that you're alive somewhere?

"You didn't think of trying to call me from a public phone booth? Sending an email from an untraceable IP address? Sending a note to me through a random stranger? Connecting with me online under an alias? Anything at all???" Pei Yueran's voice wasn't loud, but her expression became increasingly agitated.

Han Leifeng looked at her with sorrow on his face, unable to retort as she spoke. When she took a breath, he managed to say weakly, "I did try to send you a message a year after, but you never replied."

"How?" She couldn't remember receiving any strange or cryptic message at any time.

"Through InstaQiao."

Pei Yueran looked confused for a moment. "InstaQiao? What's that?"

Then when her confusion cleared, she looked at him incredulously, "You mean that app I downloaded for a project at work? Did you forget that I said it didn't work well and that I would never recommend it to anyone?

"You know I never used it again since that one day I told you about it, and even more so when the company closed down. How did you think I was going to get your message?"

Han Leifeng avoided her eyes. He knew that apart from WeChat, she rarely used social media, and that she had probably even forgotten about that new app at the time, but he convinced himself that if she saw it and responded, then it would be fate.

The truth was that he sent the message one night when he was drunk and feeling lonely. He never sent another message, and when he tried to log in some months later to check if she read his message, he found out that the app had been deleted because the company closed down.

"And somehow, you thought that I would— in my overwhelming state of grief at the time, suddenly remember an awful app, log in for no reason at all, and proceed to respond to any message from random strangers?" Pei Yueran was past the point of recognizing the man in front of her.

She needed to calm down. Before coming, she had told herself that she would not be emotional, that she would try to listen to his side of the story objectively. Perhaps she could understand.

But this was just outrageous.

"Okay. I'd agree that it's my fault for not thinking that the husband that died in my presence could suddenly come back to life and send me a message through an app that I had even forgotten existed." Anger made her sarcasm even more scathing and her tongue caustic.

She continued, "I take the blame for that. But when I didn't respond, did you try reaching me in any other way?"

Han Leifeng shook his head slowly. Pei Yueran didn't know how to feel. "So you sent just that one message in all this time?" She asked rhetorically.

"Fine. Again, let's pretend I can see reason in your actions—it was for "our safety" after all. But you said you have been back to the country for more than six months, and you didn't try to look for us earlier? Why?" She asked with a piercing stare, as though if she could look long enough, she would be able to understand him.

Because currently, he had become a total stranger to her.

"It sounded like the best thing to do at that time, but now, I can see how foolish I was. But I really thought I was making the best decision for us, believe me." He said, his voice pleading.

"Then make me." She said after taking another sip of her coffee that was already cooling. It tasted as bitter as she felt.

Han Leifeng took a deep breath and exhaled, "It might seem like an excuse, but I thought that I could be easily traced if I used WeChat or anything else. And I flew abroad about two weeks after that day, as soon as I was well enough. There wasn't time to contact you via public phone or anything.

"And believe me, what kept me going all these while was the belief that if I worked hard enough, I would be be in a position to protect you.

"The plan was that once I manage to inherit the company, I would have the power to fight off Liu Zhizhen —my father's wife and need not fear her anymore. I would then go back to you and reunite our family."

"A wonderful plan indeed. I would have applauded if I wasn't the one to bear the pain of losing my husband."

"Ranran please —"

"Don't call me that! I've told you that we're not familiar with each other, and the longer I sit here the more convinced I am." She said in a tight voice, eyes flashing golden.

"The young man I fell in love with, the Lei I married was one that was full of love and kindness. You were the person that fed random dogs on the streets and rushed to offer assistance to everyone, even if it was not convenient."

To think she cherished those memories and believed what they had was a one-of-a-kind true love.

She had truly been deceiving herself for a long time.