chapter 10 journey

When I started this life, I never expected for me to fall for my own facade. Growing into this character, becoming a mass murdering sociopath, who believe that his main purpose in life was ultimately rid the world of all types of evil. It made me lose sight of who I once was, I've turned this life into my own, I have become the wolf that walks amongst the herd. Five months have passed since my reunion with Saya, looking back on that day, I still can't believe that she was there that night, looking back on that night makes me really see how much has changed in those months. Within hours I was on a flight to leave the city with Christian, Overwatch found out who was behind the house invasion, it was a cult called the "coalition of Adam and Eve". A while back they were a small group of religious zealots, they were being held back by Cidny's brother, now that he's gone they took over his territories, his guns, and his drugs. Saya was sent by them to kill Cidny, because with her out of the picture, the soldiers loyal to her family would surrender. Christian knew that we were going to be targeted a long time ago, he truly thought it was Overwatch, his sister, as well as his father. I understand why he thought that, he was just looking after his own, when Saya fired her pistol, she killed one of her fellow comrades. Everything happened so fast after that, before I knew it, I was on a flight with Christian heading towards Tokyo, which after the economy wars of 2013, Tokyo has turned into a sanctuary for the undesirables. Are first month was non stop shootouts, followed by extraction operations. We were also sent to support the soldiers loyal to Cidny's family. Even though they were yakuza, they're still bodies I can use for cannon fodder. Second month, was a giant kill fest. For every dozen cultist we kill they would recruit two dozen more, Christian and I were attacking places where they would hold "the great ritual" where all the males would gather to watch their captains or "catalyst" rape young women "for Adam" is what they would shout. On the third month I lost all my hideouts and I lost connection to my house, to Cidny, on the fourth month me and Chris grew closer as friends me and him would laugh at are lives whenever we would have time to rest, which was a rarity. Most of the time were slicing the cultist in half with swords, because we ended up spending up all are ammo.

   On month five we finally located the cultist leader. For five months I smelled nothing but my own blood and sweat, while Chris and I were taking out the cultist throughout all of Tokyo, Saya working with Overwatch found out who was behind the cults operation, they figured out it was a young boy in Westport, Washington, I went there to confront him, as he lay on the floor crying, because I just killed his mother, father, and sisters. He said he thought it was just a game he didn't know people were actually getting hurt. Hearing that through me off the edge, I ripped his head off with my bare hands. I felt no pity, no remorse, no shame. I brought his head back to Tokyo, then showed it to all the members of the coalition of Adam and Eve. Seeing that dead boys head, as well as hearing that he was their leader made them lose faith, so they fell apart, nearing the end of the month me Christian and the loyalist to Cidny family has almost wiped out all the cultist in Tokyo. Before we finished them off we were ordered to "clean house" so me and Christian killed every loyalist that we had associated with as well as the cultist. On the flight back, there was nothing but silence between me and Christian (I need a shower) is the first thing that came out of my mouth half way through the flight, Christian then laughed until he started to cry. I understand why, for five months straight it was non stop bloodshed, he as well as me thought we were fighting some power hungry zealots, then to realize we were fighting a child. So I understand why he is crying. After we landed we were welcomed home by Overwatch, her and Chris met each other in a loving embrace, I was going to ask where is Cidny, Saya, and Mikki, but I didn't want to interrupt them. I head home to drop off my gear, I enter an empty house (Michael?) [Your alive… that's sucks, what do you need H? It's been a while] I didn't bring Michael along, because I wanted his security protocols to protect the school (where are they?) [At the school] I then change out my fatigues to my school uniform. Checking the garage expecting to see my bike, but it seems Cidny has taken a liking to it, I check the rooms to see one of the guest rooms have been decorated, I guess Saya moved back in. After leaving, then telling Michael to delete my recording I sent, at one point in Tokyo, running out of options and while  being pushed from all sides my first reaction was to send a video of me in last moments. Making my way to the school my body starts to feel nervous, before I know it I'm already there in front of my classroom, I stutter to open the door as flashes of me killing that boy, and his family. I then hear something drop to my left then quickly to my head, Cidny is right there, she is so beautiful, she is in tears as she falls to her knees, walking to her, crouch down, my hands move on their own as they reach for hers, then they pull her face towards mine, her hands feel so soft as they brace my cheek. I don't know how long we shared this kiss is that I can feel the loneliness she felt without me. I can't help it, but I hate myself for leaving her for so long she then parts her lips from mine "what took you so long" she said that while trying to crack a smile, I then burst out into laughter after hearing her say that "who are you, what have you done with my man" I then kiss her again before I speak to her (I tried to come back sooner but…) " you don't have to explain yourself to me lover boy" I then hold her in my arms ( I love you) "I love you too, you can tell me all about it when we get back home" I helped her up, as I get a better look at her I can see that she has dyed her hair again, this time it's Atlantic white. I softly flow my hands through it, I hear my classroom door open, so immediately stop someone then calls out to me "H?" No one else except those close to me call me H. I turned around to see who it was, it was Saya, she looks very different, she's the same height as me, her hair is longer, blonde, and she now has eating all over her left ear (hi) she then walks towards me and give me a hug, I am surprised I expected a slap from her, or at least a lecture for changing with Cidny (are you okay) she then tells me to shut up as she tightens her hold, I look at Cidny and she is still wiping her tears. Slowly pushing her off, she begins to explain they saw that video of me near my almost final moments, (so you saw) "yes we saw" Saya says. I then look at my arm as does Saya and Cidny, the out come of me almost dying was me losing my right arm, in my final moments the cultist got a hold of me then proceeded to chop off my right arm thinking it was my shooting arm, even though I'm left handed. Chris saved me, then we replaced my missing arm with a cybernetic one that we stole a long time ago from a Yakuza boss. Are reunion was shortly ended by the awkwardness both Cidny and Saya gave off. Saya went back to her classroom, then Cidny gave me a kiss on the cheek as she went to the faculty room, I knew it was Saya that night even now when that door opened, I knew it was her, I can feel her presence just like how I can feel Cidny's. I am still trying to re-grasp my grip on my itch. Kissing Cidny made me happy, but I had a slight feeling to follow up with my hands wrapping around her neck and squeezing her throat until she stopped breathing. I then leave classroom building to go see Mr.Kotegawa to make him show me where Overwatch's FOB is located within the school though when I reached his office, there was another man taller, broader, casually dressed, also smell like gun oil. "Hello… your H right" he asks (yes I am) "are you looking for Me.kotegawa (yes)  well I'm going to ask you a couple of questions if you don't mind (i do mind) when I call you wolf, how does that make you feel ? ( don't care ) alright how many people have you killed for the organization ?" (that doesn't matter) I loosely gathered before hand that he could be replacing Mr. Kotegawa and after analyzing the room it seems more barron, I read his name tag, it's states John doe "good answer, alright last question, do you love this women?" The doe shows me a picture of a fon, he showed me a photo of Cidny (if i say yes, I will kill you if you tell anyone) "well now that's the best answer… alright," he says then he pressed a button underneath his desk to open a hidden room, where then he shows me the FOB within the school he explains to me that the threat to Overwatch is the threat to the school. He then confirms that his name is John Doe, he was hired Overwatch to help out, while Mr. Kotegawa handles affairs overseas. I'm not allowed to know what he's doing, all I am allowed to know is that he is overseas. We finally stopped in a conference room with digital construction table, a digital construction table can make 3d exploded blueprints of anything we need. John pulled up the main targets pursuing Overwatch, he put in a threat tier system. I didn't get to see it for long, John told me that "all information will be divulged to me later in time. Just be patient" before I left I debriefed him on what went down with the cult, he knew who the culprit was behind the rise of the cult the whole time, I could tell by the way he responded when I told him I killed the child as well as his family. Leaving his office I tried not to think about it, so I wouldn't get mad, I don't get told to be angry, I get told to kill.

  I finally arrived back at my house. Opening the door I feel a warm sensation hit my skin, I believe someone else is here, I smell a type of perfume, it's Cidny, I miss this scent. I take of my uniform at the front door, though I smell a second scent I check the shoes and there are two already there. I believe the other might be Saya, her being back hasn't really sunk in yes. Every time I look at her I feel more broken than before. I see the mistake that I made when I look into her eyes, then when I look into Cidny's I see the outcome, I chose Cidny, but can she accept that as I have. I make my way into the kitchen just to see them working, Saya is doing homework, Cidny is doing paperwork for the staff, I make a cup of coffee, then I lean over Cidny's shoulder to see what she is doing, they haven't really acknowledged my presence yet, it makes me think that those five months in Tokyo never  happened, Cidny seems to be imputing valid candidates for the monthly school talent show. Saya then speaks up "hey H can you help me out with this problem ? (about ?) Is this a moralistic question, or is it an ethical question ? (Okay what's the question) man 1trusts man 2, man 2 kills man's 1 wife… (moral) okay why (it's not based off of how one treats the scenario, but the outcome) I see that now, thank you" this moment right here I want to last forever "nice job babe" says Cidny, as she gives me a light kiss on the lips. Cidny lipstick taste like coconuts before it tasted like gloss, strange. Knowing my life I know that this moment will never last, I begin to cry l as I stand behind Cidny [Miss or Miss's, we seem to have a crying wolf standing in the kitchen] they both then say "what?" As they look at me, Cidny then gets out of her stool to hold me believing that it'll bring me comfort Saya does the same. I can't stop, they both try asking me what's wrong, are you okay etc etc [Michael knows why I'm crying (I'm almost at my breaking point) I say that out loud to them both Saya stopped caressing my metal arm and said "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to …. Uh you too… talk this out" she then awkwardly leaves to go to her room. Cidny then proceeded to flick me in the skull "are you giving up?" She asked (no… never) "your not broken yet, well not all of you" she then touches my metal arm, I crack a smile as well as a short laugh at my physical state, Cidny then wraps her arms around me, she says "I've been holding back you know (I know) I missed so much… I thought you were dead, after I saw that (stop) no!!! After I watched that video, I died inside… I couldn't see my life without you… I tried.." I then stop her from finishing her sentence by pulling her face closer to mine, I then place are for heads together (Cidny I want you to marry me) "what???" She says ( I said I want you to marry me ) "uhhhh what the fuck (what) that…. This is too sudden…. I'm not emotionally prepared for this you asshole (is that a yes) I mean yes but… (then it's settled after this storm rolls over, well get married)wait hold up…" I don't let her finish becauses I proceed to  kiss her incessantly she tried to speak, but I would let her, she said she was holding back, but so was I. 

I told Chris about be and Cidny the next day at school, he was more happy then I was, he yelled screamed saying "I'm so happy for you"  over and over again I told him to keep it quiet about only him and Michael know, them also being the only people I can trust with this info, I don't know why I even told him. It was as if the words slipped out of my mouth. I try to control him before class starts, as I'm starting him John walked into the class "alright listen up, now the teachers staff has no real need for a secretary, so miss Mknight will be your substitute teacher, thank you for your cooperation etcetera etcetera, miss Mcknight, the class is yours now," he says as he walks away, "my name is…" she spotts me, her face turn beat red. I see that she didn't look at the roster of students, because she is very surprised to see me. Cidny reintroduces herself to the class as well as explain why she is here, that being that are original teacher has passed away. None of the students act surprised they're just in awe of not hearing this on the news, I didn't hear about it until now, she then states today lessons as she then give them out. Time passing as I revel in my mundane school work, I believe knowledge is power, but learning about the choices of a man who has been dead for a century now, can feel repetitive. I walk up to Cidny and give her my homework "you've already finished it ? (Yes) check your work (I did in red ink) oh… well I guess your… done, good job" I then look outside to see that, class 3d is exercising outside."would you like to go for a walk then ? " She asks (Yes) I then grab Christian and then take him with me to go exercise, he tries pushing himself away by saying "no c'mon please… I just want to sleep in class" or "fuck you" as we enter the locker room, we see two other students trying to a fondle a girl, me and Christian attend to this unaggreable communion. Clearing out the locker room Christian found the prime opportunity to leave "alright let's get you out of here" he says that to the girl, as he leaves he gives me a snarky grin. Changing was more difficult than normal, I had blood all over my hands, so cleaning that off was very time consuming. Thinking on it whenever I want to do something, there is always one thing, one person, one item in the way. As I make my way to the track, I slowly stretch feeling how tight my muscles are since I haven't truly worked out since my coming back, running dejects me from my own life in a way, it's just me and the path in front of me, it's these moments that I truly cherish, though I see memories that feel nothing like my own, they're flashes of running towards gun fire, I've doe that many times but the scene doesn't seem the same to me I am a child. I can see me train be hit be disciplined in way people would find unethical. My run interrupted because my nose starts to bleed, I'm then helped by other students on the track to the nurse's office. Arriving there felt kind of nostalgic, the last time this happened I was with Saya, I fell down on the ground and passed out in the shower. I feel strange hemorrhaging in the back of my skull being examined by John, because Overwatch will never let anyone else examine me, he tells me "there doesn't seem to be anything wrong your scar tissue seems to be smoother than normal which is a good thing ! Were you thinking about anything seeing anything ?" I tell him what is saw, then he just nods and walks away. Five minutes pass and the door is opened by Overwatch, Cidny, Saya, Mikki and Christian two out of the five slap me one of them hitting harder than the other, they all gather around my bed and rant about how should be more careful etcetera etcetera, I listen, though I know this will happen again, how It'll just appear out of nowhere like it has. "What happened I thought you were going for a walk"  Cidny asks, then everyone puts their eyes on her "why the fuck would you let him go for fucking walk" Overwatch shouts this at Cidny theythen argue about me chritain then slips away to stand next to me to say "hey man I might be good looking, smart, strong and better than you in everyway, but whenever I see these these for girl fight over you, it boils my blood (you have girls faun over you all the time) yeah but these four have character ( your saying this knowing that your twin sister is right there)mmmmm oh yeah I forgot…(.... You know they call me an idiot right) … yeah… shut up man give me a bone here you just saw me cry(that I did) so shut up" chemistry between me and Christian has become strong.