Chapter 40 - Heartbreak

122 AC

The seventh day of the sixth moon.

Helaena Pov

Today was the day that I would finally be free. Free from the strange and haunting dreams that plagued my nights, free from the suffocating constraints of my family. It was the day when I would be united with the one who held my heart captive - Ulf.

"You are ready, Princess," the servants whispered, their voices filled with anticipation. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, my heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. Mother had commissioned a pure white dress for my wedding, and though it felt uncomfortably heavy, its ethereal beauty draped around me like a veil of hope.

As I stepped out of my chamber, my uncle Gwayne stood waiting for me, a solemn expression etched on his face. Together, accompanied by a retinue of guards, we made our way to the awaiting carriage that would carry me towards the sept.

Inside the carriage, I saw Mother patiently waiting for me. Her eyes sparkled with a mix of pride and happiness.

"You look so beautiful, Helaena," she whispered, her voice laced with genuine affection. She reached out, aching to embrace me, but I instinctively kept my distance. Physical proximity had always elicited an adverse reaction within me, but I knew that it would fade away once I was with Ulf.

As the carriage rolled through the streets, the crowd gathered on both sides, their cheers reverberating through the air. They celebrated the union between my brother and me, blissfully unaware of the true nature of our relationship. "Sadly, they do not know any better," I thought, my heart heavy with the secret I carried. I was going to escape with Ulf during the ensuing feast, breaking free from the shackles of responsibility and the torment of my nightly dreams that foretold fire and blood.

The carriage came to a graceful halt, and I stepped out, my eyes fixated on the sept that stood tall before me. Its towering structure seemed to reach up to the heavens, as if beckoning for divine blessings upon this union. The ornate doors swung open, revealing a serene interior bathed in a soft, ethereal glow of candlelight.

As we approached the entrance, my gaze shifted, and I saw my father, King Viserys, waiting for me with a beaming smile. His joy was evident, unaware of the turmoil churning within my heart. With my hand delicately placed in his, we began the slow walk towards the altar, the entire congregation of nobles rising to their feet in a show of respect and honor.

As we neared the altar, my eyes involuntarily sought out Aegon, my brother, and soon-to-be husband. He stood there, resplendent in a vibrant green doublet, his smile seemingly warm and genuine. But I could discern a flicker of something more behind his eyes—a hint of lust that made my skin crawl. The realization sent a shiver down my spine, and I quickly averted my gaze, searching for solace in the distance.

And there he was, Ulf, standing amidst the crowd, his presence drawing me in like a magnet. Our eyes met for the briefest of moments, and in that instant, I saw the profound sadness etched into his features. My heart leaped with joy at the sight of him, but it was tinged with the weight of our impending separation. We had planned to escape together, astride the mighty dragon Dreamfyre, leaving behind the confines of the Seven Kingdoms and forging our own destiny. But now, in the midst of this wedding ceremony, the magnitude of the sacrifice we were making bore down upon me.

The Septon's voice filled the air, his words a soothing murmur that washed over the grand hall. Vows were exchanged, the sacred promises that would bind our lives together, but my mind was far away, entangled in the web of secrets and desires that threatened to unravel.

Finally, the moment arrived—the pronouncement of our union. Aegon leaned in, his lips poised to seal our marriage with a kiss. In that fleeting moment, my mind raced, contemplating the path I had chosen. But then, as my eyes flickered across the crowd, they landed on Ulf once more. The depth of his sadness mirrored my own, and in that instant, I knew that my heart belonged to him alone.

Summoning a surge of courage, I turned away from Aegon, my body trembling with the weight of my decision. Ignoring the gasps and murmurs that rippled through the crowd, I broke free from my father's grasp and ran towards Ulf. The world around me faded into a blur as I crossed the distance that separated us, the pounding of my heart the only sound that filled my ears.

When I reached Ulf's side, I threw my arms around him, seeking solace in his embrace. His arms wrapped around me tightly, his body offering a shield against the uncertainty that lay ahead. In that moment, time stood still, and the world became nothing but the two of us—bound by a love that defied conventions and forged its own destiny.

Amidst the chaos and whispers that erupted within the sept, my eyes met Ulf's, and I whispered fervently, "This marriage means nothing. Together, we will leave the Seven Kingdoms, astride Dreamfyre, our spirits soaring as we embrace a life free from the constraints that bind us. No one will be able to catch us."

But as our hands intertwined, sealing our pact, reality crashed back around me. Aegon's voice pierced through the haze of my thoughts, breaking the spell that had momentarily transported me away from the altar.

"Helaena," he called, concern etched on his face. "Are you alright?"

The weight of his words hit me like a blow, and I felt a sharp pain surge through my head, as if the truth I had tried to suppress was clawing its way to the surface. My mind reeled, struggling to regain focus amidst the disorienting chaos of emotions and conflicting desires.

"Yes, I am," I managed to reply, my voice strained and unsteady. But my words rang hollow even to my own ears, unable to conceal the turmoil raging within me.

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"Ser Gwayne Hightower advances to the final of the joust after defeating Ser Arryk of the Kingsguard in five passes," boomed the voice of the announcer, resonating through the bustling tournament grounds. The anticipation in the air was palpable as the crowd erupted into cheers, eagerly awaiting the climax of the joust.

As I stood among the spectators, my heart fluttered with a mixture of worry and excitement. The final joust would be between Ulf and Ser Gwayne Hightower my uncle who is a seasoned knight known for his formidable skills. My mind was fraught with concern for Ulf, who had become the embodiment of my hopes and dreams. I watched him from afar, his armor gleaming in the sunlight, his visage a mask of focused determination.

The weight of the moment settled upon me, and I found myself biting my lip, my fingers nervously intertwining. The clash of lances, the thunderous hooves, and the cheers of the crowd created a symphony of anticipation, drowning out the beating of my own anxious heart.

Ulf, my love, was a skilled rider and warrior, but Ser Gwayne Hightower possessed years of experience on the tournament field. I feared for Ulf's safety, worried that this formidable opponent would pose a threat to his well-being. Every bone in my body longed for Ulf's victory, for his triumphant ride towards freedom and a life beyond the Seven Kingdoms.

As the final joust commenced, my gaze was fixated on Ulf, tracing his every movement with unwavering attention. The clash of their lances echoed through the air, each strike a testament to their skill and determination. The crowd roared with each pass, their voices merging into a thunderous cacophony that mirrored the tumultuous emotions raging within me.

Ulf, valiant and fearless, met Ser Gwayne blow for blow. It was a duel of strength, agility, and unwavering resolve. The tension in the air was suffocating as their lances collided with resounding force. Each impact threatened to unhorse them, yet they remained steadfast in their saddles, defying the odds and pushing the limits of their endurance.

With every passing round, my worries intensified. The stakes were high, and the outcome would shape not only the joust but also our future. The weight of responsibility pressed upon Ulf's shoulders, just as it did on mine. But he fought on, undeterred by the fatigue that surely coursed through his veins.

The final pass arrived, and my heart felt as though it would burst from my chest. Ulf and Ser Gwayne charged towards each other one last time, their lances aimed true. The impact reverberated through the field, and for a heart-stopping moment, it seemed as if time stood still.

But then, to my relief and awe, Ulf remained steady in his saddle, while Ser Gwayne was sent sprawling to the ground. The crowd erupted into a chorus of cheers and applause, their jubilation a testament to Ulf's victory. I felt tears welling in my eyes, a mixture of relief, pride, and unbridled joy.

Ulf dismounted, his triumphant gaze searching the crowd until his eyes found mine.

The intensity of his stare brought me back to the very first moment our eyes had met. His pale white hair cascading around his face, his lilac eyes piercing through my soul—the memories of our interactions came rushing back, flooding my senses with a mix of longing and anticipation.

"And now, Ser Ulf will crown the one whom he believes is the Queen of Love and Beauty," boomed the announcer's voice, the words hanging in the air like a veil of suspense. The hushed murmurs spread throughout the crowd, an electric current of curiosity and excitement pulsating through every spectator.

With the wreath in hand, Ulf rode forth, his figure commanding attention as he made his way towards the royal dais. The tension grew palpable, as all eyes were fixated on him, waiting with bated breath to witness the revelation of his choice. The entire arena fell into a hushed silence, the only sound the steady rhythm of hooves against the ground.

Time seemed to stand still as Ulf, a figure of regal grace, came to a halt right in front of where I was seated. A collective gasp swept through the crowd like a gust of wind, their astonishment palpable. The whispers intensified, a cacophony of speculation and intrigue echoing through the air.

"I crown Princess Helaena Targaryen as the Queen of Love and Beauty," Ulf's voice resonated through the silence, carrying with it a declaration that shattered expectations and defied convention. The words hung in the air, a proclamation that sent shockwaves rippling through the royal family and the assembled nobility.

The magnitude of his choice was not lost on me, nor on those who watched in awe. The gasps turned into murmurs of surprise, curiosity, and even disapproval. The weight of the wreath felt both exhilarating and burdensome in my hands as I accepted the honor bestowed upon me.

As I rose from my seat, a mix of emotions surged within me—gratitude, disbelief, and a newfound sense of empowerment. The whispers of the courtiers, their murmured speculations and judgment, melted into insignificance as my gaze locked with Ulf's, his eyes filled with a mixture of tenderness and unwavering devotion.

I walked towards him, the soft rustle of my gown the only sound amidst the stunned silence. The eyes of the royal family, my own family, followed my every step, their expressions ranging from shock to disapproval, to an undercurrent of intrigue. The weight of tradition and expectation hung heavily in the air, but in that moment, I chose to defy it all, embracing a love that transcended boundaries and shattered the confines of convention.

With each stride, I closed the distance between us, feeling the eyes of the entire realm upon me. But in that moment, none of it mattered. The only reality that existed was the bond between Ulf and me, a love that had grown against all odds, resilient and unyielding.

I stood before him, our eyes locked in an unspoken understanding. He held the wreath, a symbol of his devotion, and I reached out to accept it. The moment our hands touched, an electric current surged through us, a connection that reaffirmed our shared path and the defiance of societal norms.

The crowd erupted into a flurry of whispers and murmurs, their shock and curiosity giving way to a mixture of awe, admiration, and intrigue. The royal family exchanged glances, their expressions a tapestry of conflicting emotions. But I paid no heed to their disapproval, for in that instant, I had chosen love over duty, a path that would reshape the fate of not only myself but the entire realm.

As I placed the wreath upon my head, the weight of its significance settled upon me. I stood there, crowned as the Queen of Love and Beauty, a symbol of love's triumph over convention, a testament to the power of following one's heart. And in that breathtaking moment, surrounded by a sea of astonished faces, I knew that our love would blaze a trail through the annals of history, forever defying expectations and shaping our own destiny.

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As the sun began its descent, casting a warm glow upon the festivities, the feasts commenced, filling the air with the aroma of delectable dishes. Yet, amidst the revelry, I couldn't help but hear the hushed whispers of the court swirling around me. The disapproving glances from my mother and Aegon were impossible to ignore, their anger simmering just beneath the surface.

As the sumptuous food was served, the guests immersed themselves in the delights of the feast. Laughter and animated conversations filled the air, attempting to mask the tension that lingered like a shadow. The music swelled, beckoning couples to the dance floor, and it was then that Aegon approached me, extending his hand for our first dance.

I placed my hand in his, feeling a subtle current of resentment coursing through his veins, even as he maintained a composed facade. We began to dance, our steps intertwined, but the strained atmosphere between us was palpable. The weight of his words hung in the air, laden with unspoken threats and unbridled anger.

"You will no longer associate with that peasant," he whispered, his voice tinged with heat, barely concealing his fury. "If I catch even a glimpse of you defying my command, there will be consequences, Helaena."

His next words, spoken with a venomous conviction, further intensified the turmoil within me. "Tonight, I will show you what it means to be with a true man, and any lingering thoughts of that bastard will be driven from your mind."

The dance came to an end, but the tension between Aegon and me lingered. I withdrew my hand from his grasp, a subtle act of defiance, and sought refuge in the corner of the hall, my thoughts consumed by the turmoil of conflicting loyalties.

The night continued with music and laughter, but my mind was elsewhere. I knew that the path ahead would be arduous, fraught with sacrifice and difficult choices. Yet, the love I shared with Ulf burned bright within me, an unyielding flame that refused to be extinguished.

"May I have this dance with you, Princess Rhaena," came the voice of Aemond, my brother, echoing through the hall.

"Fuck off!" Rhaena's voice thundered, her words reverberating through the silence that instantly descended upon the room. All eyes turned to witness the unexpected confrontation.

Aemond, taken aback by the girl's fierce response, looked momentarily frightened, the weight of his past actions weighing heavily upon him. Rhaena's anger was palpable, fueled by the memories of her lost eye and her mother's dragon.

"I am sorry for what I did to you, Rhaena," Aemond managed to utter, his voice laden with genuine remorse. "What will it take for me to earn your forgiveness?"

A mirthless laughter erupted from Rhaena's lips, a chilling sound that cut through the air. "What will it take?" she repeated, her voice dripping with venom. "I want your head," she declared, her words carrying an unyielding resolve. "I want you to offer me your head, or else I shall take it myself."

A gasp rippled through the assembled guests, their eyes widening in disbelief at the sheer audacity of Rhaena's demand. Aegon, my brother, seethed with rage at the disrespect shown towards Aemond, his own blood. He began striding purposefully towards Rhaena, his expression a mask of fury.

"Stay the fuck away from my daughter!" the rogue prince bellowed, unsheathing Dark Sister with a swift motion. The sound of steel leaving its scabbard reverberated through the hall, a chilling reminder of the impending clash.

In that tense moment, as swords were drawn and the air crackled with animosity, I realized the danger that loomed over all of us. Without a moment's hesitation, I left the table, my heart pounding in my chest, and made my way towards Ulf. He, too, was moving toward me, a silent understanding passing between us.

Taking his hand, I led him away from the escalating confrontation, slipping into the shadows of the hall. The chaos and attention were focused elsewhere, the intensity of the scene drawing every gaze but ours. We moved swiftly, our steps guided by a shared determination to protect our love from the impending storm.

As we stood in the moonlit night, I could see the anguish etched on Ulf's face. The weight of his duty and the magnitude of the sacrifices he believed he had to make had taken a toll on him. Sensing his despair, I moved closer, pressing my lips against his in a desperate attempt to convey the depth of my love.

"I love you, Ulf," I whispered, my voice trembling with emotion. I took his hand in mine, determined to lead us toward the hidden entrance that would take us to the dragon pit, our ticket to freedom. In that moment, I felt a surge of gratitude towards Mushroom, whose knowledge had paved the way for our escape.

But as we started moving, a sudden resistance halted our progress. I turned to Ulf, confusion clouding my eyes. "Ulf, we have to hurry," I urged, my voice laced with urgency.

His voice cracked with sorrow as he spoke. "I cannot do this, Helaena. We cannot do this," he confessed, his words striking me like a dagger to the heart.

"You're joking, aren't you?" I pleaded, my voice trembling with disbelief. "I cannot live without you, Ulf. I love you. Please, this is our only chance to be together."

Tears streamed down my face as I continued, my voice choked with emotion. "I cannot bear a life without you, Ulf. We can run away from all of this, forge our own path. We can spend our nights together under the moon, free from the constraints that bind us. We can build a future, have our own children, and no one will be able to tear us apart."

But Ulf's eyes burned with an intensity I had not seen before. He kissed me passionately, a mixture of desire and resignation in his touch. "I love you more than you know, Helaena," he confessed. "But I have a greater purpose. I have a duty towards the realm."

His words hit me like a tidal wave, shattering my hopes and dreams in an instant. "Damn the realm, Ulf," I cried, my voice filled with desperation. "Be with me instead. Our love is worth more than any duty, any realm."

But he stood firm, his voice tinged with sorrow. "We will be hunted, day and night, for the rest of our lives," he explained, resignation seeping into his words. "Our names will be tarnished forever. I will be remembered not as the youngest knight in the realm but as the knight who abandoned his vows, who ran away with a married woman. We will be marked as fugitives."

"You care more about your image than your own happiness," I shouted in frustration, the pain of his rejection overwhelming me.

"No, I do not," he countered, his voice filled with raw conviction. "There will be a war, a bloody conflict that will claim countless lives. Innocent men, women, and children will suffer. Villages will be decimated, families torn apart. I cannot stand idly by while that happens. I can make a difference, bring an end to the war."

"And what can you do?" I retorted defiantly. "You are just a knight with a sword. What power do you truly possess?"

My rage consumed me, and in my fury, I lashed out with words that I knew would wound him deeply. "You're nothing but a peasant, Ulf, a filthy dragonseed," I roared, the weight of my own bitterness crashing down upon me. The moment the words left my lips, their impact hit me like a hammer, and I saw the pain flash across Ulf's eyes.

But even in that moment, I couldn't stop myself. "What was I thinking, running away with a peasant like you?" I sneered, my heart breaking with every syllable. As the magnitude of my hurtful words sank in, I watched as Ulf's expression shifted from sadness to resignation. Without a word, he turned away and began to walk, leaving me behind.

"No, Ulf!" I cried out, my voice filled with anguish. "Don't leave me, please!" But my pleas fell on deaf ears as he walked away, his sad smile a painful farewell.

Devastated, I collapsed to the ground, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. The realization of what I had lost crashed down upon me, and I cradled my broken heart in my hands. The weight of my own bitterness and the irreparable damage I had caused settled upon me like a heavy shroud.

In that moment of unbearable heartbreak, I was left alone in the moonlit night, the echoes of our shattered love haunting the empty space. My soul screamed for him, begged for him to return, but it was too late. I had pushed him away, severed the bond we had fought so hard to protect.

As the night grew colder and darker, I clung to the remnants of our love, memories, and regrets intertwining in my mind. The path ahead seemed desolate, the future bleak without Ulf by my side. I wept for the love that could have been, for the dreams that had crumbled, and for the shattered pieces of my own heart that lay scattered on the cold ground.

In the depths of my despair, I vowed to carry the weight of my words, to learn from the pain I had caused. I would forever bear the scars of a love lost, a love that had slipped through my fingers like sand. And in the echoes of that fateful night, I would carry the haunting reminder of the love that could never be reclaimed.