The fear that comes with vacationing

Jabi. 

The doors to the hotel room open and I hear his footsteps as he walks into the room. I close my eyes tighter because I need to keep the ruse that I am asleep. I knew when he left the room and I waited for him to come back.

We are in a strange country.

I thought I loved the ocean—okay, maybe I did but the hotel is on top of the water. I look down and I see the fish in the water. This was something that was supposed to excite me. I didn't know that it would freak me out.

It has been four days since we got here and I have maintained the deceit for this long. He thinks this is the best thing I have ever experienced and I don't want to show him another cowardly side to me. I love being by the beach. I love the feel of the sand on my toes, I like when the waves crash to shore and pull me in but I don't like that we are just above the water. There have been scary thoughts running through my head.