I Don’t Hate You as Much Now!

Andor –

I felt my heart sink into a void of sadness and despair. My alarm clock awoke to a cold bed, Ashina hadn't even slept in it as the pillow didn't bear her indent. Her scent was faint, and fear overwhelmed my senses. Just in boxers, I jumped out of bed and ran to the closet we shared, praying her clothes were still there.

When I looked through her clothes in the closet, all her good clothes were still there. As I sigh, I'm relieved, but it lasts only a few seconds. Behind her well-placed shoes, I found her bag missing on the closet floor. This is the bag we packed for when we left to fight Malcolm.

As I ran through each guest room and through the pack grounds, I didn't even care if I was still only wearing boxers. In fear and sorrow, my wolf started howling. It seemed my prayers weren't answered that day as I kept begging the moon goddess "Please let Ashina be here." How could I expect them to be here? I couldn't expect the Goddess to love me or my very own mate when my own father didn't want me.

Thinking a light of sorts flashed into my thoughts, I had not checked my office. Running at utmost speed entering my office, I found a note and I fell to the floor. Ashina had left me behind. Anger at first enveloped my soul, destroying everything in my office. Punching walls, throwing furniture out the window.

I barely even noticed my sister and her mate running in to see what the commotion was. My wolf was out and glared at them. Turning I needed to get away, my heart couldn't take the rejection, my soul was torn into the tiniest shreds of pieces that would not be made whole anytime soon. I jumped out the window shifting in midair. My wolf howled as we ran in tears of pain, sorrow, and regret.

My wolf and I returned to the cave, the magical cave were Ashina, and I shared our wonderful date. The magical cave that only held a fraction of the memory, now like the mist slowly fading away.

Laying in the spot that Ashina and I had sat before. My wolf curled up like a fox would on the dusty floor of the cave, next to the emerald sparkling water to drown our tears behind the waterfalls.

I have laid here for what seems like days, in and out of the horrible memories of my youth. The whip laced in silver and wolf's bane as it left unsightly painful streaks etched into my back. Even my wolf couldn't heal the scars left externally or internally made.

"Father what have I done for you to hate me?" I cried as he continued to eternally take the whip to my back, while he had my hands cuffed to the stone wall in the dungeons. He would yell, "You will not cry! You worthless Omega's son. You are not my son, even if you carry my alpha blood. You are weak like your mother." He would continue to beat me, telling me this was for my own benefit to make me a stronger alpha, and to whip my mothers' blood out of me.

My older sister would tell me how our father before her mother had died was actually a good and loving alpha. She was very young when her mother died. After her mother died her father changed, once she was his precious jewel and now her father didn't even notice she existed. Melanie reminisced the story of all the she-wolves he had brought home, which crept out in the middle of the night and how angry he had started to become.

Wolves often become feral after losing their mate, and that is what my sister had explained to me. If he had been his old self our father would never have hurt me. But that was the father she knew, not the one I grew up with.

While wallowing in my misery of heartbreak living in the nightmares of my past. The showers curtains parted with two familiar faces grimacing at the sight of my depressive sorrow. I let out a pitiful growl at my intruders and laid my pitiful head back down not caring if I lived or died. I am certain it has been days since my wolf, and I have taken our last bite of food.

I could feel the normally annoying smirk that lizard was radiating off of his aura, and normally that would annoy me, however right now I just didn't care.

My cousin's worry emanated off of his aura in waves of concern pulverizing my very own aura. I just didn't care. I had lost all will to live and the hope that used to be a part of my very being.

My cousin came and sat on the ground next to me while both Jasper (my wolf) and I ignored him. He kept trying to get me out of my funk, I just wouldn't listen to him, I was lost in my own misery and depression I couldn't hear a word he said.

Cadma –

I'd had enough of Cornelius coddling the wolf boy. As I walked over, I lifted wolf boy and tossed him into the cave's lake. Andor awoke from that pathetic depressive stupor really quickly, transforming back into his human form and splashing in the water, angrily approaching me. I could feel Andor's anger radiating off of him. Come on, Andor, kick my arse! Mutt, I dare you! With those pitiful fests you were wallowing in, how could you be worthy of Ashina! Let's go stinky mutt! "Here I am!" I jumped around in punching mode like a boxer would in a ring ready to fight.

Andor and I punched and wrestled until we both were exhausted, and I knew he was ready to talk. This way we could get him out of his funk. Cornelius sat back like he was watching a show and all he missed was his buttered popcorn and a cold iced drink. Laughing I looked at Andor and he looked confused at my laughter.

I was now jealous of a third party in my relationship with Olive, my mate. I was no longer Andor's intruder in his Ashina relationship. My mate now thought Ashina, and I had something coming on romantically which now I am glad to say we never did. I am glad she never gave in to my constant bickering about how the mate bond shouldn't be a determining factor of her choosing Andor over me. I didn't get the concept. It wasn't the mate bond that decided, in the end it was always us. The mate bond just helped us see the other half of our souls, and the mate bond was like a beam of light that showed us our truth.

"Listen from what I studied from wolf history, I believe that mates that have mated and marked one another will die without the other, and the least that can happen to them is they are weak and will go mad (Like in craziness). You need to find Ashina and help her win this war."

Andor –

"She left me, she doesn't want me near her. She made herself perfectly clear."

Cadma –

"I read the letter dude! She loves you man! She left you so that you would not regret losing your kingdom and your kingdom would not suffer without their king. Your sister stated you were handing the Kingdom over to her, did you even tell Ashina that? The moon goddess said to tell you she heard your prayer and restored the letter you accidentally burnt. That way you can reread the letter and actually fell Ashina's true love for you." 

Andor –

Thinking back, I remember wanting to tell Ashina about me giving my sister the kingdom as a surprise to Ashina, however I forgot or just didn't get to tell Ashina for one reason or another. I shook my head no at Cadma, "No I kept forgetting to."

Cadma –

"Then what did you expect to happen?"

Andor –

"Why did she let me mark and mate with her? Didn't she realize that could kill us both her leaving? That it would weaken her for the war?"

Cadma –

There was something really dense about this wolf. I rolled my eyes. The fact that he had ruled his country so flawlessly was a wonder.

Are you really that stupid, Andor? In what way was she going to learn about wolves and mating? Dragons were a part of her upbringing. She lost her aunt when she was a child. Ashina and Gandor's beta Rector was only eighteen when he came with them. It was Rector and my dad who taught her to fight. Shadow warriors were warriors, not teachers, and their nanny took a job to support the group. In terms of mating and the implications of being away from one's true mate, Ashina has no idea what she is doing. She probably feels weak right now, and I'm sure she doesn't understand why. It is important for you to save her, together you are strong, apart you are weak."

As I handed him the basketball shorts, Andor put them on, putting his arm around me. Putting a serious face on. "Thank you, lizard boy, I don't hate you as much anymore." We both laughed. Whether Ashina wanted us to help her or not, we left the cave to find her.

Ashina's mother had gotten Ashina out of her stupor back at the castle. "Ashina, we don't have time to talk right now, I need you to go into the vents and find your dad. To get to the tower, crawl to the left and use the dumb waiter. He was moved there last I heard. You've got to hurry Malcolm will be here soon to find out why I didn't return."

There was a banging on the door from the other side. Suddenly there was a holler with a deep growl demanding the door be opened! As I opened the door, I hoped Ashina was in the vents. Malcolm's mouth dropped open at first, then his face contorted back into his normal grimace as he looked behind me, anger in his demeanor.