Seis

The worst thing in the world is.    justified by belief'

Hard part of loving is letting go from the person you love, or even moving on but not for my case. What he did weren't the one that made me hardly trust someone but, what my best friend did that traumatized me and  left a scar within me.

It made me realized that trusting a friend is a crucial decision. You either trust a masked person, hiding from it's true motive or the other way round. You'd never really know, sometimes the greatest enemy you have is the one smiling sweetly in front of you, and that gave me a lesson.

I was pacing around my room, thinking of random stuffs. Mom has been persuading me to come with her to visit and pay respect to  Raven's funeral.

Actually, I have no respect left for him or them and was never in my mind once, to pay them a visit and see them lying on their coffins. Like am I supposed to read an eulogy for them? To hypocritically say that they were such a good people when they're alive? Absolutely not but, I can't let my mother go by herself.

For the fact that they betrayed me, I thought once was it karma that put them to peace? or shall I be called ruthless to once assumed vengeance?

The door creak which disrupt the ambiance of thoughts forming in my head. Mom came in with her steps faltering, she's wearing a white formal dress, as while, me on the other hand was wearing a black Oxford top and some jeans and a pair of white shoes.

"Let's go, hold this for me." she handed forward a basket of flowers with the word 'Condolence' written on a piece of ribbon.

I held my mom's hand as soon as we got out to the streets. The place was 5 km away from our current location,  therefore we decided to get some cab.

"Gwen where's the necklace I gave to you? I told you many times to keep it hanging on your neck," her voice restrained a deep disappointment, as her lips bent on a curve.

"I left it on my bedroom mother," that was a mendacious statement, the fact is, I don't know where it really is. Hence, if she didn't talked about it I won't remember it at all.

Upon arriving to the location, the sound of agonies filled the place. A hesteric painful cry of a mother, for her beloved child that passed away.

As I walked along the alley, people's eyes darted towards us, and yet, only one person caught my attention. Those eyes staring at me the same as that day.

"Good evening auntie," I lowered myself and gave her cheeks a greeting of a kiss. But, her arms clung unto me and shrieked.

My heart sunk, feeling the pain she had inside her. Raven's mom has been  very closed to me, ever since the day he took me to met her.

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked as her words bleed with her agonies. At some point it made me guilty, it took me only one second to forgot all my hatred from him, when I saw his mother dying while breathing, thinking her faults at some reasons for losing her only child, and the only relative she have.

She was divorced to her husband and hardly can cope with life due to her tumor. She had been going to some chemotherapy months ago but was stopped due to the lack of financial capability. Raven was the one who supported her to get therapy again but now that he's gone, no one will pay for her hospital needs.

Her vulnerability made her think less of her capability to do things, now she's down-hearted and broke for knowing her child died.

My arms wrapped around her to give her some sympathy, nothing I will say would mend her heart from pain.

And yet, mom asked me to go and sit, she'll be the one to sympathized her. I went to the last row of chairs, further as possible from the coffin.

"You're that girl...those eyes," a gravelly voice passed through my ear. The man sat right next to my seat, his eyes scrutinizing my entire face.

"Why did you run that day?" it was the doctor, his stare is certainly deep as he looked at me behind his glasses.

I gulped the guiltiness growing on my throat, as I vent my eyes towards the coffin.

"You're eyes looks guilty, do you know something? Are you here because of your conscience?" his questions are speculating me out to be the initial suspect of the crime.

"Please sir, this is not time for you to interrogate me. I just lost a boyfriend and was cheated. Please don't make things hard for me."

"Did you do it because you were mad that he cheated on you? Tell me the truth, I will help you out with my lawyer. We need the truth." everything were colliding inside my head, causing an intense intermittent pain along the course of my neuro nerve. I put both of my palms on the side of my head to try and squeeze the pain away.

"Pleaseee Stopp!!!" the glasses broke when I screeched, everyone look at my way. Confused of what just happened, even I myself was surprised.

What just happened? How did the glasses broke when I screamed?

I stormed out from the venue and went to the green garden, seeking for some air to breath.

I glared at my reflection towards the glass wall, the bags under my eyes are getting heavier, probably due to the sleepless nights. My skin looks so dry and my lips are cracking, honestly, I never looked terrible than today.

"Feeling regretful?" an airy voice passed through my ears. I roamed my eyes around, looking for the owner of that familiar voice.

"Where are you?!" an indignant roar slipped out of my throat. I had searched everywhere and yet, there was no signs of him.

"You can't find me anywhere, I only exist on your mind." the tone of his words made me imagine the expression he has on his face right now.

At some point, it made me reflect back to that day on the bridge, the same voice that mandated me, manipulated my mind to jump to the waters. I thought it was just a weird hallucination I had for that time, where I was near losing my mind but, after all this time it was him all along.

"How can you go through my mind?"

"It was you on the bridge isn't it? How can you control my mind?" if there were people passing by behind me right now, they would probably think I'm going insane,talking to myself on front of the glass wall.

"Vampires have the ability to read, control, and go through humans mind, that means whatever goes to your mind I'm able to read it nor change it," I'm quite flabbergasted from his revelation, does that mean he knows everything I had thought throughout then? If that's so, how to perish?

"Am I impuissant of my own freedom to think at all now?" my hand clenched in hatred. People wouldn't know how life sucks of having your mind controlled by someone, it's like being put in a cell in the middle of an island, and you only have the ability to eat and sleep.

"Probably"

"Prolly? Why don't you come and face me? Why, are you guilty for what you have done?" I felt the fire burning my heart in madness, as it's  filled with loathe in every corner of my fleash.

"I don't know the word guilty, it's disgusting and ignorant. Filthy, I have thought, for human to have conscience and feel certain guilt at all.  What a pity," he hissed in detestation of my allegations.

"You are ruthless and evil!" a high-pitched voice slipped out of my throat, reflecting to every corner of the place.

"My dear, you have no idea how I can end your life in one word," his arrogance made me chuckled like a psychopath.

"Omg, I'm threatened by a vampire! Oh how great thine life is!" I raised both of my arms up high, hailing the circus of life.

"I think the poets might disagree—" I hushed him off with my index finger between my lips.

"Only, if they have no feelings, to express the unchained madness of the world or shall I say the evilness." the weariness of my body, brought me to to a stone chair to sat. As my face were ruined by my viscous tears.

"I gave you a choice, and you choose the left path."

"Well, it's not too late to change your mind and if you do, you know where to find me." those were his last penetrating words before his dominance perish from my mind.

I close my eyes trying to array the thoughts that were bewildering me. Thoughts that caged me for a quite time and yet— what if I took his offer? Will there be difference?