Really? Now?

The whole day ended up being very quiet. The sun was now setting and not even my father came up even though I was told he wanted to see me. I closed my laptop after shutting down my new game and looked out the window. Tomorrow was the ball and my birthday. I know my father and Jace would have been busy welcoming the other packs. We expected over twenty packs from all over. I remember helping with the invitations. They would have their alphas and lunas, along with warriors, and the chosen members to find mates. A huge headache if you ask me. 

My guess is the Royal pack was one of those packs looking for their mates. I tried to think of anything I knew of him, but nothing came to mind. Well, at least nothing personal anyways. It was common knowledge he led the packs in our part of the range, our pack was the most southern of his territory and on the edge of the other half of the Royals. His uncle, I think, held the other half that used to be one pack. The Royal Crystal Lake pack. If I remember they refused to come as they had other engagements. My father always invited them since they bordered our lands, but they always found a way to refuse. I felt it was some sort of power play between the Royals. Not my business.

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock. Without even opening the door I knew who it was just by the sound. "What do you want Jace? I told you that I needed to be alone today. Can I not have at least one day to myself with everything going on?"

"I came to talk to you about tomorrow. I know you have been unhappy, and I feel responsible for a large part of that. Agreeing with father is not always the best course of action for you." I could hear him sigh across my room.

Taking in a deep breath I wanted to push him away, but knew it was bound to come up and had to be dealt with. My birthday and potentially the mate bond opening to me tomorrow. Then of course the ball, and my first meeting with other packs. The mate bond scared me most. Just because I was born during the eclipse, did not mean my birthday was late at night. In fact, it would kick in after midnight tonight, making it harder to avoid the whole thing tomorrow. It felt like I could be losing all I know without a choice. "Give me a second."

Opening the door, I could see how tired Jace was. "Did you even have a chance to sit today? You look like shit."

He chuckled softly. "Had a quick bite at lunch and even some dinner before the last of the packs arrived. I have never seen so many wolves in one place. I still worry about security." Walking in he rubbed his head, a motion he did when he had a hard conversation to do. There was more to his visit than the ball.

"Spit it out Jace." I crossed my arms in defence. Whatever it was, I was not going to like it. The anger in me was caused by the unknown, and here my brother has more. I could feel my wolf prickle at the thought as well. 

"Father and I talked and think it best you meet with Alpha Atlas for breakfast. Maybe get to know him and feel the bond early." He lifted his hands in defence when I dropped mine in complete shock. "Look! It is better you feel the bond before the ball. Have it settled down and become easier to manage. We feel the commotion of your bond happening should not be during the ball."

"You assume there will be one." I huffed this was not right. "Why do I not have a say in this? This was my first chance to break free and see other wolves! I was actually going to be a part of something, abet small, but still something!! How can you do this to me??" As much as the ball angered me, I was excited to be part of something. It made it a little easier that my so-called mate already showed himself.

Jace smiled uncomfortably. "I asked father about that. His response was that he will talk to Alpha Atlas and see what he thinks. The little research we have for a bond like the two of you is not promising."

"The fucking Royal get to pick what I do? Again, my opinion does not matter. You both always do this. What do you mean by not promising? You think the Moon Goddess has more jokes up her sleeves for me? It would be funny not to at this point! Fuck, Jace. Both of you always trying to protect me from my own life. My own mistakes. Can't train because the pack refuses to harm me. Can't go to school because of my heats, when I could have booked a week off a month for something else. I have no friends and it is your fault. Who even has a say over the mate thing? I sure don't, do I?" My temper was winning. I could barely hold back my tongue now and Jace was going to hear it all by the end.

"Kash. It is okay. You know how father gets. Look I came to talk to you more about fated pairs anyways. I just relayed father's message first." Finally, he sat down. "This is a talk both father and I kinda were unsure how to speak to you about, or if we would ever have too. I actually spoke to the few omegas here for advice on the topic because I thought it would be important."

"Why? What difference does that make?" I sat on the edge of my bed. The bad feeling was growing in the pit of my stomach. I hated to look at my brother when speaking, I always had to look up. When I am upset it set me off on a whole other level. Taking a deep breath I waited.

I knew he was waiting for me to calm down a little more before proceeding. When he felt me relax a little more into a quieter mindset he continued. "We both noticed you have been a little, well to be blunt, acting like your pre-heat the last few hours." His face went red as it always did when speaking of my heat. "ESPECIALLY the last few hours." He really put the emphasis on the last few hours.

It threw me for a loop as I was not expecting this talk, but he was right. My wolf was more active and I was a little, well, bitchy lately. Easier to set on edge of stuff that would be minor. "What does it have to do with the fated pairs talk? What exactly is a fated pair anyways? A mate is a mate, right?"

He chuckled. "Well, we all hope to find our mate. However, sometimes the goddess blesses us with our fated pair. With a mate we feel the connection, the bond as we call it. But after talking with Alpha Atlas, we all feel you might be a fated pair. With our fated we will sense more then the usual. We will know how they feel, both physically and mentally. It would also be like you are connected by GPS, because you will always know where each other are. Alpha Atlas feels some of this already. Most of it happens after you both mark each other, but the presence of it will be there before. For example, he can sense your close but will not have more than a general direction until the marking. He would then be able to track you better than a spy satellite."

I grimaced. "Okay creepy. That does not explain why you went to the other omegas. Second gender does not make a difference, between mates and fate, does it?" 

Jace looked down. "If he really is your fated. It could put you in heat. That is why we feel that it should be away from the ball. The pheromones between you two alone will drive the packs wild. There is no telling how you will react either. If we are right, it even explains your symptoms as of late. "

There it is. The one thing he had to say to make me snap. "Hold up! You fucking think I would let my heat control my decisions and destroy what you have done?" I was furious and hurt. "I do not care how low you think I am. I would NEVER do anything to wreck this ball. You both worked hard to arrange it, and I would be damned if you think I would honestly destroy your hard work. Get the fuck out!" I could not look at him anymore. I was beyond hurt by his words. To think father thought just as low of me. I never heard him leave.

I had been pacing for a while now. I understood him to a certain point. I can not control my pheromones like others, and they are much stronger during my heat. However, do they expect me to act on them? When have I ever acted on them? Of course, if I did the usual my wolf would be allowed to take over, and that could be a fight or two. They could have just said it would not be safe to go to the ball. I most likely would just stay in my room like today. Well, knowing my temper it would not be that easy, but still, it would be better than this approach. Heck, have the stupid Royal stay away and let me do something for once!

Looking at the clock I laughed. "Okay, I guess it is just me once more. Man. Fuck those guys." Staring at the one fifteen flashing on my clock I sighed. "Happy fucking birthday to me."

My birthdays were usually like this. Never celebrated on the right day. Another over protection by my father. The pack knew the truth, but Alpha's orders were absolute. I grabbed the piece of cake I snatched from the morning before and munched on it. Stale but sweet. Realizing my own brother could not even stop by for our annual cake and gifts that he did on my birthday, made the cake in my mouth turn bitter.

Making sure to lock my door once more and shutting my alarm off I crawled into bed. I was going to sleep in. Ball be damned. Since I am not going, there is no need to do any meet and greets like originally planned.

My dreams were all over the place. Sometimes wolf form and other time human, but always running in the forest. I could not tell if I was running away or towards something, but I tossed and turned and eventually woke laying on the floor covered in sweat. Great. Just like they assumed my heat was early. Grabbing my blanket, I ran out of my room and down to the basement where my cell was before the pain crippled me where I was. Thankfully I met no intruders, aka, a cocky royal and was able to arrive without issues. 

Entering my cell, I saw that it was already stocked with water. I never ate but it was important to stay hydrated. Again, it set my mood lower as this meant that they prepared it just in case. "Ugh! The assholes." I felt angered, but again, what can I really do about it. At least it was ready. I moved my blanket to my favourite corner and built a mini nest. The one thing omegas have is this instinct to nest. We gather favourite items with comforting smells and build a little sleeping area. Mine is always just my one blanket. No extra smells. After my nest was built, I circled the cell making sure it was secure. It was not needed but again the omega in me did this. I was told once I bonded it would be my alpha's job and that I would stay by his side until it was considered safe. What a bunch of bull. As if I would let someone else near me at this time. Walking back to the door in my last step, I made sure it was locked and sealed. Then I shifted.

My wolf, unlike my human form was closer to a full-sized wolf. Still what others in the pack would call pup sized, but at least it was bigger than a normal wolf. His coat was thick and glossy and I prided myself with it. Sue me, it was prettier than my human form. My right ear never stood up fully with a small flop, but I liked it. The colour? Well, it was not exactly normal. It is almost black at the roots but faded to a silver. I know grey wolves are common, but my grey was more of a metallic in colour. 

Shaking my whole body as the pain started to set in, I curled up in the blanket I set down. I started to let my wolf fully take charge to assist with pain management. I hated to be in human form. The pain was great since I never did anything to help myself. Not to mention the mess from the slick. If you are not familiar with heats, let me tell you. My body wants sex and lubes itself for prep. It only gets worse when my heat peaks. A very messy and painful process. The other omegas told me it would be better if I followed through in the desires and accepted the heat. But not once have I done it. This is my body, and the omega in me can wait until I say I am ready.

Letting my wolf take over, I do not get the mess and the wolf can control most of the pain. The thing that we gained along with it was the anger. I was much more violent in this form during this time. I become protective of my nest and territory. Again, I was told a marked omega would leave it to his marked mate as he would be much more volatile and in rut. A very dangerous combination. This is why the cell. It protects others from me, more than myself from others.