the third

Today, I woke up. I guess that's a start. My therapist said to write down all the good things I did in a day. The date is 13/32/????

I don't know what year it is anymore, no one does. All we know is the month and day, which never change, the older ones, the ones who were here before it happened and have been bothering to keep track of time, say it should be october. There are some festivities, though they are only empty, considering no one really cares about them. It's really just a way to keep distracted. Distracted from their life. We're all the same, deep down, we just want out. Most of us became bored at around the same time, 8:61 pm. "8:61?There are only 60 minutes in an hour." I know. At that exact moment there was really no more intrigue in the world, no more reason to live. At that moment everyone knew everything, at that moment everyone stopped, sat down, and cried. No, they did not all do this simultaneously, and yet they did. It has been that moment for ???,???,???,??? years. No one wants anything. No one wants to live. On 13/32/???? People started trying to act. act like they didn't know. act like everything was back to the way it used to be.

It is 13/32/????? Now. this time I actually got out of bed. I had the will to try today. I mustered my mental strength and walked to the bathroom. Yet again, I was able to kill myself in every possible way, but I still lived, none of them doing anything. as usual. Not a record. Not at all. I don't improve. No one does. I don't care enough to go to work. They don't care enough to fire me. Or enough to stop the automatic pay. Not that it matters. Stores don't ask for money. Angels run the stores. They don't need money. This was only going to last 1000 years, but 1000 years will never pass. Not if even a microsecond will never pass. 

I/don't/care

I didn't get up today, I just slept. That seems to be the best course of action. Not that it matters. I want to die. We all do. We can't.

I miss pondering theories. I have all the answers now. There is a god, there is an easter bunny, and there is a queen of england. Well… there was. She was lost in the rapture. I was born after that though. Yes, children can be born in this Utopian world. If Utopian is a way to describe it. Some would say dystopian. I wouldn't. Utopia means no place. I think we are in the most no-place place of all. I wonder if this is hell. No... I don't. I know that this is not. This is earth. the date is I/don't/care.