Haru

HARU

"Sorry, Buzz. No can do." I shake my head, pushing away from the table the four of us are sat at.

"But we all agreed—!"

"No, you agreed. I have a kid to go pick up." I scowl at Alek and his persistence. He seems to be under the impression that I said yes to a night out at Lady Ophelia's. Which I absolutely, one hundred percent did not agree to.

Reason number one: tonight is one of my days with Kai, which I would never pass up for a table full of booze and a joint or two.

Secondly, Sedah works at Lady Ophelia's, and I can't help but think that if I see her again I'll fall down a rabbit hole.

It's been a few days since our night together, and I hate to admit it but she's occupied my mind more often than not.

"Fine, fine! We'll drink for you." Alek compromises, linking his hands behind his head and relaxing into the seat.

"No more than usual, you're a liability at the best of times." Leon lectures, looking a little bit worse for wear. I don't think he's been sleeping very well over the past week.

"Am not! I bring the scene to life! Living the vida cola and all that shit."

"It's vida loca, you fuckin' twat." I whack Alek up the side of the head, making Naksh snigger.

"Oh well, you get my point." Alek swats my hand away, grinning.

"Have fun." I wave once before turning to leave the small café we often frequent. I have my coffee to-go in my right hand and my house keys in the other. After I stuff them into my coat pocket, I begin the short walk over to Harper's apartment.

Harper is Kai's mother, so I try with all my heart to respect her and be civil, but she makes it rather difficult at times. And by 'at times' I mean all of the time.

After a ten minute walk, I reach the old apartment block she lives in. It's about 8 stories high, bog-standard and the flats are small inside. I press my finger on the buzzer that links with her flat until a crackly voice echoes through the speaker.

"Hello?"

"It's me." I remain placid and neutral, "Can I come up?"

"Um, yeah. One sec." Harper immediately hangs up on me and a few moments later I hear the door click, making my way inside.

When I reach her door, number 29, I brace myself before knocking. Harper has a way of doing things, a way that I don't necessarily conform to and she hates that.

She'll invite me in, be sweet and lovely, butter me up, then the claws will sink in and slash at my moral compass until we break out in a heated argument.

I've fallen victim to her ways twice before— never again. The woman is vindictive and selfish but won't ever admit it.

At least I'm self aware of my faults.

Knock, knock.

"Coming!" I hear her voice, it's stripped of any elegance and rather rough-sounding. I think she still smokes in the flat, despite my vocal distaste for the fumes being around Kai.

"Dada!" The light-footed pitter patter of Kai's running feet makes me smile.

A second later, the door swings open. Harper stands in its frame, pretty as ever though not so well presented. There is a natural beauty to her face, but I see her for what she is so I've long forgotten about any physical appeal she has. Her long, blonde hair is pulled up into a sleek ponytail but aside from that her face looks exhausted and her brown eyes are sunken.

"He's kept me up for three nights straight." She yawns, gesturing for me to step into the hallway. I don't really have the option to decline, Harper walks away from the door and shuffles into her quaint kitchen.

I close it behind me, sighing as I wander through the apartment. There are no photos of Kai up, none of his drawings or the little certificates he gets given from his nursery teacher when he's done something good. Not even a finger painting stuck on the fridge.

You'd never be able to guess a four year old lives here.

When I reach the kitchen island and lean against it, Harper crosses her arms and purses her lips, "He's putting his shoes on."

"... You know, if you wanted to sleep better you could always give him more nights with me." I try, a futile effort. I've asked for the same thing so many times before that I've lost count, but I always get the same response, "I don't mind getting up during the night."

"No. I don't want to confuse him, he's used to the arrangement we have going on right now."

She explains, cautiously eyeing me, "... Unless, you want to give us another shot."

"We tried that." I remind her, picking up what I assume is Kai's bag for the night, "And we discovered we're less compatible than a dog and cat."

Harper shrugs, "Sometimes dogs and cats can learn to get along with each other after some time."

"We gave it some time. We gave it months, Harper." I grumble, adjusting Kai's bag on my shoulder, "Does he have everything in here?"

"You know, you could be nicer to the mother of your child." The blonde rolls her eyes, grabbing a can of lemonade from the fridge.

"I'm very patient with you." I say quietly.

Harper doesn't seem to agree, "Kai shouldn't have to grow up in a broken home, that's all I'm saying."

"Loads of kids do." I shrug, "I'm not spending the rest of my life tied to you, Harper. You're my son's mother before anything else. And because of that, you're important to me. But that's all."

Her bottom lip trembles, eyes turning glassy with crocodile tears. I know her tricks, she's been the same since she fell pregnant with Kai. Always trying to reel me in like a fish with bait. I gave her a chance at first, because why not? Then I gave her a second chance when Kai was born, because it was worth a shot for his sake if anything.

But we're never going to be a typically functioning family. I've known that from the first red flag. Harper and I just seem to disagree on everything.

"All I want is for Kai to be happy, y'know? Don't you think you're being unreasonable? It feels like you regret ever meeting me." Harper whines, tightly clutching the can in her hand. The low cut top she's wearing does little to catch my gaze, she wears similar things every time I see her.

"Don't you ever say that, ever." I warn, hearing Kai tumbling around in his room, "You gave me the greatest gift of all, and for that I'll be forever thankful. I will never regret the night we shared, because Kai is the most amazing little kid and I love him. But just because I love him, doesn't mean I need to love you, too. Understand, Harper?"

Harper opens her mouth, most likely to complain, when a tiny body collides with my leg, "Dada!"

"Hey there, my little guy." I grin, scooping him up into my arms, "We good today?"

"S'good!" Kai grins, showcasing all his baby teeth. They'll start falling out within the next year or two, and I'll have to stick a few quid under his pillow for his own amusement.

"Yeah? You ready to go?" I smile when he grips my neck as tightly as he can with those tiny hands of his.

Kai looks a lot like I did when I was a kid. He hasn't taken after Harper in personality (or looks, really) which I'm glad for. I can hardly tell he's mixed race when I look at him. He wears glasses that are a little bit too big for him. They make his eyes look large, the slanted almond-shape of them adds to his cuteness (though I'm a tad biased.)

"Yep!" Kai giggles, kicking his feet.

"Where're you taking him?" Harper enquires.

"The summer market." I give her a tight-lipped smile, "Buddy's gonna love it."

"W'ight!" The kid confirms, sure within his statement.

"Be careful." Harper warns me as I carry the pair of us over to the door, ignoring her, "Don't let him eat a load of crap, either."

I beam a bright smile in her direction, "Yeah? That because he eats enough of it here?"

"Haru."

I shrug. Kai can eat what he wants to— within reason— as long as he promises to eat his dinner later on.

"C'mon, bud." I place Kai back onto the floor, feeling him wrap an arm around my thigh when I remain stationary. He begins to stand on my shoes, using my belt loops to hold himself upright, "What do you say to mummy?"

Recognition floods his face, "Bye-bye, mummy! W'ove wou."

Harper smiles, "Love you, too, sweetie. See you s—"

"C'mon, daddy! C'mon!" Kai quickly presses, eager for our day out. I feel sorry for Harper when I see the fleeting hurt flash through her eyes. Although, I remind myself he's only excited to leave because she never takes him out anywhere.

So I don't bother telling him to let her finish talking.

"Woah!" Kai's face is a picture. He clutches a stuffed teddy in his arms that I won for him a few stalls ago, clinging to it for dear life.

He's riding my shoulders, legs dangling on either side of my head as he rocks back and forth, "Careful, Kai."

"So'wy, dada." His face snaps into vision, he looks at me upside-down when he leans forwards, placing a tiny hand on my cheek.

He's having a genuinely wonderful time. One thing I've drilled into Kai from the moment he could hold a conversation is to find fascination in the world around him. Luckily, he's taken note of that, oo-ing and ah-ing at all the pretty colours in each stall.

"Dada, I wan' food." Kai decides, resting the teddy on top of my head.

"What d'you fancy, bud?" I ask, giving his feet a quick squeeze.

"I wan' wice cakes." He pleads.

"Oh, tteokbokki?" I double check, "I don't know if they'll have any around here, Kai."

"But, I wan' some."

"Hm." I sigh, "We'll have to have a look around."

"But wha' if dere's none!" He begins to kick his legs, clearly very serious about this tteokbokki craving of his.

"Then there is none." I simply tell him, "You'll just have to pick something else."

"No! Wice cakes!" His little shoes pound into my chest.

"Kai." I grip his ankles so he doesn't fall, "You mustn't kick."

"But, dada—!"

"We don't kick, you know this." I remind him, "Take some breaths, instead."

Kai's stiff body turns lax again, I can hear him breathing loudly and counting to three under his breath. He has a tendency to get stroppy when hungry, but it's nothing a few deep breaths can't solve.

"You okay now, bud?" I ask, eyes zeroing in on a Korean food stall.

"Yeah." He affirms, "M'kay."

"Good. Because only good boys get rice cakes." I laugh, steering us towards the stall.

"Yay!" Kai celebrates as I weave us in and out of a sea of people.

The cue is relatively small, and our order is done quick enough— though, not so quick that Kai doesn't complain at least three times. We find a nearby table and chairs to settle into before digging into the food.

"Mm!" Kai hums. He enjoys Korean dishes and I can't wait to teach him how to cook it when he grows up. The kid isn't picky when it comes to food, but he has his favourites. Weirdly, he loves anything with a spicy kick to it, which little kids tend not to opt for.

"Yummy, right?" I grin, wiping a bit of sauce from the side of his face.

"Wummy!" He confirms through a mouthful of food, cheeks stacked with rice cake.

Kai's a cute kid, it makes my heart ache when I think of him getting older. Perhaps he'll want to wear contact lenses, maybe he'll be super popular in school or perhaps he'll even want to live with me.

It's wishful thinking that Harper will ever allow that, but I know Kai loves being with me because I actually interact with him like a parent should do. Harper just uses him as means to try and manipulate me into being with her.

"You done?" I ask, to which he profusely shakes his head, "Alright."

With Kai quiet and content whilst eating, I take the opportunity to survey the market. It's getting dark now, but the area is still teeming with life and music. Colourful lights string themselves across the space between buildings and shop owners are beginning to pack up for the night. It's been a great day.

"Haru?"

I snap my head in the direction of a familiar voice, planting my eyes on none other than Sedah Finch.

"H—Hey." I reply, a little bit dumbfounded.

"What're you doing here?" She smiles, her streak of white stands out against the blackness of her hair.

Before I can reply, her eyes dart to Kai, "Ah, I see."

He grins at her, not so typical for him, usually Kai is wary of strangers, "Hi, wady."

"Hello, and who might you be?" The woman taps her chin, feigning ignorance for his sake.

"'M Kai! 'M eatin' wice cakes wi' my dada!"

"Wow, I might have to get some for myself, they look good." Sedah gasps, so beautiful in the dimming light.

She's wearing a thin, skin-tight sweater with high waisted jeans and a flimsy, knitted cardigan over the top. It's strange to see her in such normal clothing.

"Mhm!" Kai agrees.

"What're you doing here?" I wonder, surely she hasn't come alone?

"Oh, well, I—"

"Sedah? Sedah!" A huge, broad man jogs over to us, I remember his face quite easily: Hugo.

"Sorry, Hugo. I just saw Haru." Sedah tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, her smile no longer present. The fuck is she doing out with this dude?

"Date?" I force a smile, hot jealousy bubbling up in my stomach. I can't even deny it, because the emotion is plain as day.

"Ah, well—"

"Yes. So, we'll be going now, pretty boy." Hugo interrupts her with his posh accent, grabbing Sedah's hand and tugging her into the crowd.

What does he even want with her?

Sedah is an absolutely gorgeous woman, yes. But by no means was she born into riches or given elocution lessons like that twat. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Sedah looks at me once more before disappearing behind someone's shoulder.

"Dada." Kai quips.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Who's dat wady?"

"She's a— friend, of mine." I decide to go with that.

"Pwetty." Kai says in passing, munching on more food. The kid has no filter yet, so I know he's being sincere.

"She is, isn't she?"