Chapter 2

Waking up knowing that Wei Ying was gone, was truly one of the worst moments.

His body wrecked by exhaustion, pain and blood loss, deviated from its established routine, but to this Wangji, who had survived three days knowing that Wei Ying was gone, it really didn't matter.

Grey eyes dancing with amusement and poorly concealed worry, "What about your five am mornings Lan Zhan?"

That three days could pass by him unnoticed was a surprise, his body so wounded that it failed years of training. But everything was wrong, all color washed from the world, leaving him hollow and struggling to find within himself, the desire to even move, from his position face down on the bed.

That motivation came from A-Yuan. He had made a promise and he would not fail Wei Ying again.

His brother had tended his wounds, vivid and freshly bleeding in the Jingshi, away from the gaze of others, the only fact that was a balm to his heart. Interacting with others seemed a monumental task, for which he had no energy or desire, not until he could at least accept, the choice of so many to hunt down and murder Wei Ying.

He would never understand it or agree with the decision. How could he? Despite the endless reasons given, he knew the truth, his Wei Ying was not evil. He could have been saved.

He should have saved him, protected him. That guilt would never leave, nor the pain of his own poor choices. Instead he now carried thirty three lashes of disgrace. He cares nothing for them, shame, disgrace and physical pain could only be nothing, compared to the desperate agony in his chest.

Wei Ying was murdered. What were wounds compared to that? What were scars that would mar his skin for the rest of his life? Nothing. Not when his shining, beautiful Wei Ying, had perished so cruelly.

Nothing can eclipse this unforgiving reality.

His brother attempted words, but Wangji had no energy to spare, to either care or react. He is too tired to fight, not when his aching heart bleeds more than his back.

Xichen was not openly hostile or angry towards him, nor did he offer only his proud back and disappointed eyes like their uncle, but gone was his quiet care and supportive words. It did not matter to him either. His uncle's respect was hinged on his adherence to the strict rules, but to do that, to follow the command to condemn Wei Ying, went against everything in him; heart, body and soul. In the end it was for nothing.

His uncle's disappointment was expected, his brother's confusion was expected, as they stood in adherence to that command. Qiren thought Wei Ying was only rightfully killed and for that, Wangji would never forgive him.

His love for his family was strong and there was once a time not long ago, where to stand against them was unthinkable.

To have stood with them against Wei Ying...that was unthinkable.

Before...before Wei Ying...before the hate for the man he loved began sweeping the lands, Qiren's disappointment would have devastated him. Self-loathing and shame, tearing into his very self, at the thought his brother losing faith in him. Now? He can smell the dark earth of the Burial Mounds and he knows what it is to love, a man everyone else has damned.

Now, he was wounded and mourning. The thought of another day alive without Wei Ying in this world was too painful to think of. So, he refused to. Promising himself and Wei Ying that he would focus on today, on surviving the next minute, the next two hours...so he could be the parental figure Yuan needs.

So, it was a bitter, acrid thing to rely on Xichen, angry with his brother as he was. Xichen...his brother, the one who believed in compassion and respect for all...gentle, kind and always understanding...He had decisively agreed with Wei Ying's death. Aided the very ones who clamored for his murder, to siege the Burial Mound. His hand, but not his own sword was stained with Wei Ying's blood. Choosing unequivocally, Wei Ying's end.

Wei Ying would say he was being unfair. There were reasons, Wei Ying would say that there were good, solid reasons, all rightful for a Sect Leader to consider. But that was Wei Ying, unfailingly gifted in pointing out the motives of others, their needs and flaws, revealing so easily, the person's true intentions and how they defined their choices. Those reasons meant little when it was a loved one, a man Wangji would have done anything to save.

This reliance meant following his brother, whose opinion on his decision to seek parental advice, was shared with him in a quiet, resigned tone. As if he was being unreasonable in choosing to parent this small child or more likely tying himself and their family, to a person however young, who belonged rightfully to Wei Ying. His son no less.

True, there would be better people to choose from. Men and women...couples that would be more fitting, especially in this unstable time. But he had promised, as he declared in as calm a tone that he could force his voice to produce and finding the corrects words, told his brother simply, that Yuan was now his.

So, here they were.

Wangji was seated at the table, inside the Jingshi his attention on the clean, polished surface of his desk. At the other end of the room was his brother, talking softly to a tall, stately woman whose clever eyes missed nothing and judged harshly.

Lan Ai had been a friend, if she could be framed as such, to his mother during her imprisonment. She had raised Xichen and himself, to an age where they were ready to begin cultivation and their long, heavily indoctrinated education, under the tutelage of their uncle.

His relationship with her had always been distant, both of them preferring Xichen and he had no doubt that she fully condemned Wei Ying. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but in his current predicament, he required knowledge and Xichen was asking for her to test Yuan, readying him for uncle's obvious, inevitable disapproval.

Qiren and Lan Ai only tolerated each other, but the elderly woman during their time together had always been strict, but kind. A bridge provided by Xichen, allowed him to seek during this time of enforced seclusion, her guidance on raising a small child.

She had asked him to sit in deference to his wounds, but her mannerisms and tone were exactly as he remembered. Her voice held neither censure nor sympathy, but her infamous, respectful disdain for poor choices, blended with care. Now he had been publicly disgraced and lashed, she expected him to reform, reverting to the near perfect Gusu Lan Sect disciple he was supposed to be.

A fifteen year old boy waved to him wildly, in his memories. It was too late for that.

And so the day thus far had been challenging. Conversing with his brother and Lan Ai, while trying to soothe A-Yuan with a raw, bleeding back, a despairing heart and so little energy, had been difficult. Not as difficult as ignoring Wei Ying admiring a pretty girl, but close.

He had however, distracted himself with the endless discoveries about Wei Ying and A-Yuan.

Wei Ying had been unsurpassed in so many areas of cultivation. From swimming to archery, innovation to strategy, he had flourished every single time he had been tested, by life, enemies and teachers alike. At so young an age, he had been an accomplished cultivator, daring and skilled.

So, it really should not have been a surprise to learn that despite everything; the threat of siege, endless bloodied fights and demonic cultivation, he had been an excellent teacher and a loving, responsible parent. He was a role model for what Wangji should become as his guardian... perhaps combined with their uncle, as he had always been superior, in so many regards.

A-Yuan at three years of age, could write several characters in neat legible handwriting, including 'Ying', 'Lan', and 'tree'. He possessed a large vocabulary for his age and clearly showed, during the grueling tests, they enforced upon him, an aptitude for cultivation. He was sweet tempered, clever and had the most innocent eyes, effectively winning Xichen's heart almost immediately.

Lan Ai had been impressed, praising his mother for her intelligence and care. Wangji accepted this praise with a nod. Wei Ying might not have been his 'mother' but that was what Yuan called him after all. Xichen looked half amused, half horrified as Ai patted the little boy on his head, when he responded with a sorrowful, "Ma!'

Then Xichen nodded, resigned and happy for the child, before smiling warmly at Wangji, which both pleased him out of love for his older brother and rubbed invisible agitated wounds at the same time.

When he had arrived back in Gusu, barely able to stand, his brother had met him, anxious and questioning, only to find him carrying a child. Bemused, his brother had agreed to take him, but Wangji swaying on his feet had declared that he was going to raise the child as a Lan, causing his brother to pause in guiding both of them up the steps.

This led to a conversation the following morning, where his brother as he tended to his injuries with gentle hands, clearly stated that as Sect Leader, there was only way he would agree, to allow Yuan to become a Lan. It was a simple and effective ultimatum.

Wangji was forbidden from telling the boy that his parent was Wei Ying.

Outraged he had moved too quickly, ripping the barely closed wounds closest to his shoulder, open to spill more blood onto the sheets. "Wei Ying is his father."

Xichen would not be swayed. The knowledge of his parent's identity would only end with the boy ostracized, beaten and constantly shamed. A poor decision for the boy's sake and their uncle knowing of his parentage would deny the boy entry. "Let him grow and learn, become a son of the Lan family and then, in the future when he is ready, then you can tell him." His brother had implored.

"What about his mother?" He had asked, soaking another cloth.

In truth, he knew little of Yuan's history. He was undoubtedly a Wen...but Wei Ying had claimed him as his son and that, was all that really mattered.

Wei Ying naturally found weak areas in the strongest of plans. He might not be able to speak his name, but that would not stop Yuan from learning that his parent had loved him, and all the things that Wangji knew, that no else cared to know. How he loved the stars for instance and so many stories he could share. A-Yuan needed to know Wei Ying.

So he had agreed, begrudgingly and with less than his usual perfect grace.

Today though, he had learned that he was not failing as a surrogate father too badly.

Instead he felt...pride in the little boy, more than he could ever say. As a child himself, he had been often described, even by Wei Ying, as distant and prideful, but he found pride only in his brother and possibly his Sect and home. He had too many flaws to feel pride toward himself.

He was of course proud of Wei Ying, but some of that pride was tempered and tainted by fear for his well being and deathless love, Wei Ying didn't acknowledge. But he was proud of Yuan, his intelligence and aptitude for learning, for proving that he was a excellent choice for Gusu.

The little one is so light in his arms, a weight barely felt, but he feels and hears that little heart beat, reminding him of his promise. It is decided. A-Yuan will become a Lan clan member and in three years or less if he can find a way, he will formally adopt Yuan as his son. An official recognition of his place at Wangji's side of the table, and a precaution if Xichen is right and Wei Ying's reputation hurts Yuan in any way. He can imagine the anguish that would cause Wei Ying.

There is no need to worry, he tells the Wei Ying in his mind's eye. Yuan is safe and will be taught well. He will be loved.

Unseen by his closed eyes, the pair by the door watched him closely. A-Yuan was asleep in his arms, cradled securely in his billowing sleeves, a child seeking comfort and a man that no comfort could soothe, sitting together in the late afternoon sunshine.

"I feel he will be an exemplary disciple Sect Leader." Lan Ai said simply, smiling lightly as they both heard Wangji respond to the little boy's restless movement, with a soft, "Hush little one."

Yuan used to those words in Wei Ying's sweetest tone, settled immediately and the younger of the Twin Jades, thought of those days, listening to Wei Ying and watching as he swung the laughing child into the air.

"I believe he will." Xichen replied, staring at his brother with love, worry and pride.