the troubles of a cat

As I was walking down the mountain to my courtyard I started trying to think of a name for the kitten. I look at the kitten in my arms and started talking to it about it.

Jaz: What I name you little kitten Jane, Jill , maybe Lucy yes Lucy seems nice.

Lucy: I'm a man! besides I already named myself!

Jaz: You can talk?!

Lucy: Of course I can talk dumb ass I'm a mythical beast!

hearing it call me dumb ass I give it a good smack on its head with full force.

YOWL!!!

Lucy: What was that for?

Jaz: Don't swear! So what is your name then?

Lucy: My mythical selfs name is the Supreme ruler of the universe.

Jaz: Whatever you say Lucy.

Lucy: that not my name and I'm a GUY!

Jaz: yes yes. So Lucy why weren't you talking before?

Lucy: Not my name. Because that old bag of bones is scary and mean. He threw me in a bath tube and sealed my power. He's EVIL!

Jaz speaking of powers when do you think you will be able to control yours Lucy?

Lucy: When I turn 10 in 5ish years still not my name.

At this time we finally made it back to my courtyard. I ran to my play room and looked for the cat toy I had made for my first cat. By the way Lucy isn't my first cat I've had lots but they always run away and all of them were just regular cats. I wonder where they went 🤔?

After I find one of the cat toys I go back to the yard to play with Lucy. The one I picked is a stick with the danglely stuff at the end. I go and start dangling it in front of its face.

Lucy: What are you doing get this thing out of my face.

Swat

swat

swat swat swat swat

Lucy: STOP IT ALREADY!

Crack

Jaz: Why did you break it. It's only a cat toy.

Lucy: Because it's annoying how in the world can that horrid thing be considered a toy?!

Jaz: Alright so you don't like that one. But there's one toy that no cat can resist the red dot.

Lucy: What are you talking about whatever your about to do stop it.

As Lucy is talking I take out the laser pointer and start pointing it about. Almost instantly after Lucy starts jumping about trying to catch the red dot.

Lucy: What are you doing to me stop right now. I do not consent!

Amongst Lucy's complaints I continue pointing it about for the rest of the day.

When it's time for bed I go inside and get in my bed Lucy tries to join but I kick him off my bed.

Lucy: This is cat abuse first you use some sort of bewitching tool to make me chase a dot all day then you don't even let me sleep on the bed!

Jaz: At least I let you sleep inside all my other cats had to sleep outside.

Lucy: You have other cats were are they?

Jaz: IDK they always run away after a few weeks of playing.

Lucy:What! Cats don't just disappear. Did you kill them? Are you a cat killer!?

Jaz: What!I I would never kill a kitty and daddy told me that they ran away so it must be true.

Lucy: .....

Jaz: I'm going to bed. goodnight Lucy 😴.

After that I went to bed. Lucy went to a Conor and curled up while mumbling something about bad luck and cat killers.

....

The next morning I was rudely awoken by Lucy. He was yelling for someone to open the door so he can go to the bathroom. I swiftly got out of bed open the window and threw the cat into the yard from the 2nd floor.

YAWL

After that I did the usual morning routine then went outside. Outside I found Lucy trying to climb over the courtyard walls to escape.

Jaz: Silly Lucy you can't escape we have a contract. If you get more than 100 meters away your body will freeze up. Grandpa made that rule just incase you tried to run. He also gave me this.

I then proceed to pull out a collar with the name Lucy on it. I then quickly put it on him.

Jaz: This thing has a tracking device built in so I can find you if you get lost or stolen.

Lucy: This sucks 😞

Then I pick up the kitten go off to start my training.