Chapter 8: PTSD

I woke up and turned to see Oliver next to me, I instantly remember last nights events. I could not have been thinking straight if I slept with him! I mean Oliver is hot and all, but he's such an ass! I quickly put my dress on from the night before and walked out of his room quietly without waking him up. I walked downstairs and checked the clock on my way down. Holy shit! It's already 11 AM. I knew someone would be awake to catch me. I was just praying it was Zack, he wouldn't say anything about it! Maybe no one would notice? I walked into the living room and looked around only to see not only Zack, but Michael and Eliza too! I quickly sat down without saying anything. Michael broke the silence and asked, "Where's Oliver?" My eyes widened for a moment until I answered, "How should I know. He's your brother!" I tried reaching for a baguette on the table but Eliza grabbed my hand and said, "You don't get to eat until you tell us exactly what's going on here?" I hesitated and finally broke and said, "Well, last night-" I was cut off and dragged away at vampire speed by Oliver. We were outside the compound now. He pushed me up against the wall and said, "You were about to say something about last night?" I nodded my head as he continued, "Well I for one would like to hear it from you first!" I have him a confused look for awhile, and then I caught on and laughed. He gave me a death glare so I said, "Alright alright! No need to death glare me! You want to know how the sex was? Well, to be completely honest, it was amazing!" Oliver smirked and whispered in my ear, "Do you want it to happen again?" My heart skipped I swear it! I stuttered as I said, "I'm not saying I'd object to it, but I don't think I could have sex with you ever again!" He looked disappointed as he asked, "Why not?" I looked deeply into his eyes as I said, "You might make an influence me to be bad. I don't want to be bad, I like being good!" He turned his face towards the ground and didn't say another word. He sped off back into the compound. I rushed in there and yelled, "Come on Oliver! You have to understand what I mean!" A tear ran down my cheek, then Michael approached me and asked, "What happened? What did he do to you? I swear I'll kill him!" I turned to Michael and said in a sobby voice, "I told Oliver how I feel about him! He didn't understand what I meant when I told him I didn't want to be bad...like him!" More tears ran from my eyes as I hugged Michael. After I calmed down awhile later Eliza asked, "Alright, I know Ollie is a pain in the ass, but why did you say that? I'm just curious to know what you meant by it, because I don't really understand either." A voice popped out from the shadows and said, "I'd like to know as well..." I turned around and saw Oliver. We exchanged looks for a long time until he finally sat down and repeated his question. I looked at Michael, because he already knows, for an assuring look. He nodded his head so I said, "When I was just a little girl my parents divorced each other. I had no idea what was really going on since I was so young, but later I found out the truth. My mother was a murderer, she killed a man she thought was trying to kill her. She was so paranoid and crazy all the time because she was doing so many drugs. It turns out she killed my uncle and she didn't even know it! She was so cracked out on everything that she hardly recognized her own family. So one day when I was 12 my mom came into me and my sisters room with a knife. Claiming she was 'saving us' from the bad people. The cops. She tried stabbing us to death, starting with my little sister Penelope. She walked over to her, not expecting us to react, but earlier that day my dad had noticed a change in behavior from my mother. He gave me a pocket knife to keep on my night stand, so I ran over to my mom with the knife in my hand and I stabbed her in the leg with it. She fell to the ground in pain, dropping her knife. I grabbed it and handed it to my 7 year old sister. I told her to go downstairs and call the cops, and I'd get our dad. So I ran into their bedroom and woke my dad up, I explained what happened and we rushed down stairs to make sure she hadn't gotten down there where Penelope was. Little did I know the biggest mistake I made in my life was leaving her in there alone for just a minute. I got down there first, and when I did I saw Penelope laying on the ground with a slit across her throat. And my mom was laying on the ground next to her with a stab in her stomach, still alive, but barely. I ran upstairs to check on my brother Elliot, he was sleeping soundly luckily, she hadn't gotten to him. Shortly after the cops arrived and took her to the hospital, and then to prison where my dad officialized their divorce. And on that very day I vowed to never hurt anyone, and never be with someone who would. Especially not a child! I've had some sort of PTSD ever since that night. Worrying if she would ever escape and find us again. If she would find Elliot and complete the job she started 10 years ago!" Everyone stared at me in sorrow. I continued, "That's why you have to understand where I'm coming from Oliver. A long life of trust issues, paranoia, PTSD, and anxiety! I don't open up to anyone, I can't, that's the main reason why I left my family 5 years ago, I couldn't keep worrying about their safety, or having someone to care about. Love is a sign of weakness, and I can't be weak or people die! And my little sister was one of them!" I slowly got up and said, "I hope you understand. I came here and did what I promised, I'll be leaving now." I turned around and walked away. As soon as I got out of the compound I started bawling. A few building away I slid down the brick and cried into my knees. I've pushed my feelings away for to long and now they're all coming back in a flash! I turned to the sky and said, "Every night and every day I prayed that you would be brought back to me! I miss you so much Penelope, I wish you were here! I never got to see you grow up. You shouldn't be gone. It wasn't your time yet, you should be here! I still need you! I love you, Penelope, I always will."