THE CONFUSION

Magic.

I can only describe that moment as magic.

Maybe calling it a moment isn't correct. Moments seem to last for a second. This moment lasted for what seemed like days. I never wanted to leave this spot, this moment. I never wanted to stop. I couldn't tell you when his hand reached up to caress my face or when I wrapped my hands around his neck, holding on for dear life. I couldn't tell you how long we had been pressed up against each other, as if letting go would make us wake up from a dream. A very good dream. I couldn't tell you in words how soft his lips were or how safe I felt in his arms or how loved I felt even though we had just met or how passionate our moment was. Because no matter how long it felt or how great it was, it was only a moment. And now it was gone.

And so was he.

I could tell you, however, how I felt now. Standing in this room, alone, confused, and hot. So hot. Why am I so hot? Why did he just leave like that? Where did he go? Was the kiss not good? Was I not good? If I wasn't good, why did he kiss me first? Why did I kiss him back? That's not me! I don't just go around kissing boys. Is that what he thought of me? That I was easy? That he could do whatever he wanted with me and I wouldn't say anything? What, because he was with the Alphas? Because I'm a human? Add embarrassed and insecure to the list of what I felt. Oh, and angry.

Very angry.

I stood up, not remembering when I sat down, adjusted my glasses, and I stormed out of the room. I flung open the door so fast that it made almost broke. Okay, it didn't but that's how mad I felt. Not knowing where to go or where I came from, I started down the hallway to my right, visibly angry but only to those who looked really hard. I wasn't very intimidating but that's besides the point. I refused to let him think that I was just some human he could mess around with whenever he pleased. And I was not going to be waiting in that room for him to waltz in and out of my life when he felt like it. I was going home, whether he liked it or not. Now, I just needed to figure out how to get out of this stupid auditorium back to my parents. I weaved through some corridors and hallways and eventually found my way back to where everyone else was. I peeked through the doors, pushing my glasses back into place and that was when I saw him. He didn't see me though. He was back on stage, next to the King Alpha. He was stoic, indifferent and looked as though nothing had happened. As if we didn't happen. Fine by me. I tore my gaze away and turned to the direction of where my family sat. They were no longer there, meaning they probably went home, feeling as though they would never see me again so what was the point in staying. I would be lying if I said that I didn't glance back at him on stage before walking away, hoping, just a little bit, that he would stop me. That he would walk towards me and kiss me in front of all of those people, holding me tightly. That he would never let me go. But that was a pipe dream. A fake reality that would never come true.

So, for now, I was going home.

As I slipped past the doors to the outside world once again, I realized how unrealistic it was to think I could just go home. I was sorted to go with Ace and the King Alpha and one couldn't just pretend that didn't happen. Not in todays world. They would definitely come looking for me and I would have to go with them no matter what. But for right now, all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and be with those who cared about me. So I continued on my way, not thinking about the consequences. Not caring actually.

The walk home was dark and gloomy. It wasn't really gloomy. The sky was clear and the stars were bright. The moon was a crescent shape, but still lit up the road so I could see where I was going. I was only a few minutes from my house at this point. I'm sorry, my old house. It was me that was gloomy. I felt exhausted. So many emotions ran through my mind and body in such a short amount of time and I could only feel that this wasn't going to be the last time I was going to feel like this. If I had to live even close to Ace, I had a feeling that this was only the beginning of my gloomy days. It was a gut feeling that made me regret going to the sorting. I should've just stayed home and hid. I could've done that. I could've hid in the shadows for the rest of my life and been happy. I could've been free.

I approached my door, fixing my glasses. Sorry, old door, and opened it, revealing my parents, sitting on the couch looking stressed beyond a healthy amount. They slowly raised their heads, almost at the same time, and looked at me in disbelief and happiness, probably hoping this wasn't a dream. I wish it was. Because then I didn't have to leave.

As soon as I shut the door behind me, I cried.

I broke down, falling to the floor, in tears. My glasses got foggy and wet but I didn't care. I didn't want this life. I didn't want to feel this way anymore. I didn't want to leave. My parents ran to me, hugging me and telling me everything was going to be okay. I couldn't respond. I was too busy sobbing uncontrollably. I felt so sick and hurt. And I didn't believe them. How could I be this hurt by someone I just met? He meant nothing to me. It was just a kiss. A stupid mistake. Right?

We sat there for what could have been forever, just being with each other in that moment. None of us let go. Not once, in fear it would be the last time. And it was. Because the next thing we knew, there was a firm knock at the door. And I knew who was on the other side. I could feel it.

Why could I feel it?