Those Sweats Make You Look Bigger

I didn't dream, which was weird for me. I woke up to find Roxanne not in bed but heard her slow heartbeat in the kitchen. It sped up when I sat up, and Roxanne yelled, "Come get some coffee." Hearing her heartbeat was weird because I thought vampires were dead. I opened my blinds, and it was the afternoon. My phone said noon, so we had less than two days to figure things out. I got up, put some sweatpants on, and walked to the kitchen. Roxanne looked at me and said, "Those sweats make you look bigger." I laughed and said, "That's the idea." She handed me some coffee, and we sat down on the couch. Roxanne said, "We have a lot to talk about." I asked, "I thought vampires were dead, so how come I can hear your heartbeat?" She smiled. "It's super slow, isn't it?" I nodded. She continued, "Eventually, most of our human organs shut down and die, but the Vampire virus keeps the essential organs barely active." I sat in silence because, logically, she made sense, but equally, I had no clue what was happening. She said, "Becoming a Vampire is something you learn as you go, but I will be here to help you." I smiled sheepishly, and she said, "We have a lot to take care of."

I affirmed, "Yeah, we have less than two days before work, and I don't think it's a good idea if we go back." She agreed, "Yeah, we should call out sick, and we need to skip town because those guys who tried to kill you have friends who will come looking for them. We have less than five days because people like them usually check in. I grabbed their phones and destroyed the GPS tracker on their truck so we might have a little more time." I questioned, "I take it you've done this before." She expressed, "After I got bitten, I've made it 87 years." I invited, "Do you have a plan? She responded, "There is a safe haven for things like us in Mexico." I pondered, "Why have you not gone there before?" She responded, "You figured out I've never been with a man. Vampires mate for life; in those years, I never found anyone with whom I was compatible. Not until I met you." I probed, "I thought you were out of my league." She remarked, "I knew I had to be patient and that fate would drive us together, but who knew that a skinny methhead vampire would do that." I had forgotten about her.

I asked, "Did you turn that girl." She declared. "It wasn't me who turned her, and I don't know of any other vampires in the area." I prodded, "Can we tell if someone is a vampire?" She hesitated, "We can, and I knew she was and most likely what would happen." I blurted, "You let her bite me." She continued, "I did. I could tell we were meant to be together. There are certain biological markers." I asked, "Your travel contract was nearing its end, so what would you do if no one else turned me?" She disclosed, "I'm not sure. I was hoping it would happen, and if it didn't, I'm unsure if I could've turned you." I paused, which was interrupted by her kissing me. Despite the kiss, I was still skeptical about Roxanne not being a psychopath. I did some mental math, and so far, one of my biggest problems had been automatically fixed, which was the heart condition. That's the reminder I needed that so far, things were on the plus side. My stomach growled, and Roxanne volunteered, "I'll go get us breakfast." She got up and went to the kitchen. I turned on the T.V., and it was still on the same cartoon channel when I got my ass handed to me. Roxanne came back with two bags of blood and gave me one.

I was unsure how to do this, so I shyly looked over. Roxanne laughed. "Watch and learn." She held up one hand and extended the nail on her index finger. She slashed the corner of the bag and began to drink. I tried the same tactic but was struggling. Roxanne laughed. "You look like you're going to have an aneurysm." She slashed a corner of my bag, and I began to drink in. Before I got bit, I remember the taste of blood being metallic, but now it was different. It tasted like a sugar cookie." I guess my face looked like I was having an orgasm because Roxanne pressed," Let me guess. It tastes like your favorite dessert?" I smiled. "What does it taste like to you?" She divulged, "mille-feuille." I asked, "What is that?" She responded. "It's a French dessert my mother would make us as kids. It's a layered cake with custard in the middle of it." She continued, "I was born in New York in 1921." I sat there trying to do the math, and she saw the stupid look on my face. She giggled. "I was turned in 1945," I asked. "What was New York like?"