CHAPTER 20 (THEN)

'Kate was expecting. 

'Kate was expecting. 

Was all my thoughts were held on... 

So right now, I have just finished preparing a well of breakfast, 

in addition, yes, listened to Funky's advice of a little concoction to help her with the hangover, and everything. 

However, one thing made me fear. She stated she did not want the child, and that was the one thing that I thought of, even right now, as I place this meal onto the well-rounded dining table. She was still sound asleep, I dared not wake her. All true was, I barely even slept. My mind could not... 

This was more of the scariest news ever, but I just acted like it did not. 

The whole idea of pregnancy just seemed not to click in my head, but what I knew deep down was, the problem was not Kate, hell, it would never be Kate, she was the only thing that made me this happy, the last person I would be putting the blame on would be Kate,

 it was the last thing in my mind, and actually, she was the best thing, like the best being I would dare picture carrying my child, 

she only, 

she only. 

"When did I arrive?" I heard Kate state as I placed the tea glasses on the table.

"You are awake…," I stated, shrugging a little of the statement she had just said, as I beckoned her to sit on the chair. 

She was quite different from me; she preferred taking breakfast before brushing, and I preferred brushing first. Well, she had not had many sleepovers in my house, but I realized it was easy to depict such behavior. 

I was more of a very detail-oriented man when it came to the woman I loved.

 I really was.

"Who brought me?" she asked as she started drinking the hot tea. She seemed okay, no headache or anything. It seemed alcohol never had a lot of impact on her as I hear others do have.

"Funky," I stated, and she choked on the drink, suddenly looking at me.

"It was Funky?" she asked as if in disbelief. "I swear nothing happened," she added, and I became a little bit investigative. Why was she being all defensive?

"I did not say I had any allegations," I stated, as I sat down on the chair quite opposite to hers. This was the first time we drank breakfast, not beside each other, but along each other.

"I was just trying to make you not think a lot. Thank you for the breakfast; the toast is sweet," she stated, trying to change the subject.

"Why would you think that way? Did something happen?" I asked now, barely even pouring myself tea from the flask. I was not sure how I would act or what would happen if Kate betrayed me. I had never thought of it; the thought of losing her itself is painful even thinking about it.

"No, nothing happened," she added, and I was not in the feeling to push the topic. I was scared she would get mad, or I would, in a way, upset her by my oblivious questions. 

I needed to start putting together my papers, to run around seeking a little hustle.

"Is there something you are hiding from me?.., something that has to do with me?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that she was in the right senses last night…, I needed to know if the news, her expecting was true, I just somehow needed to know. I just needed to make sure.

"Can we not talk about that," she stated, her eyes glued to her plate. Today she did not pick sausages and leave eggs. Today she was eating everything, something not obvious. 

It was like she was nervous, or afraid of something.

"You let Funky know instead of me?" I asked, and she looked at me in a glare, took me in, looked down at what was on my table—'nothing.' She stated nothing.

"Are you trying to poison me?" She asked, her voice becoming higher pitched. She had never spoken this type of way to me. Poison? I wondered, if I were to poison her, I should have done it a long time ago.

 "There is... you haven't poured yourself anything," she added and then laughed. 

"Jokes," she finished.

 I hated those kinds of jokes; they were like being called foolish and being told it's a joke or being called lame and being told it's a joke. I was never the type who took jokes lightly, but for her, I just somehow saw it as that, a joke.

"You let Funky know instead of me." I now put it as a statement rather than a question. A statement of maybe showing I was sad by it. Of course I was, because why would another man, especially one who seemed to have or rather want you sexually know something of an intimate level before your partner.

"The pancakes are sweet, Love," she added, and I knew I was being put on edge, or she was just choosing to ignore me, or maybe the topic was not of importance to her. 

'Sometimes you have to put her needs before yours', I scolded myself. Maybe she really was not ready for the conversation., So, I just decided to ignore everything I needed answers for, poured myself some tea, as I started scrolling online for some volunteer and internship opportunities. Maybe I would be lucky. I would be lucky just as the universe had provided me with luck, the luck of having the girl of my dreams to be the mother of my child, and maybe more children. 

I was happy. 

I really was.

Anyway, after a lengthy quiet eating moment, my phone buzzed. 

It was Luke. 

Of course, I had texted him that I was almost... that I had been given some great and satisfying news, that my girl was to have a child, so I just stood and went outside to the balcony to speak.

 I just preferred speaking to Luke alone. 

I did not want Kate to sometimes hear our stories because the truth was, Luke was against her. Yes, he was happy for me, but he just was not all pessimistic about her.

He stated, "Dude, I'm happy for you, but take care. Don't screw around. Party girls have some bitchy businesses. Know her better than that."

Anyway, so I answered the phone after a little check of the surroundings.

"Luke…"

"Dude, protections were brought into this earth for exactly this reason," he started, and I knew what he was going to say. That I should have at least bought one and things like I should have known I had one before even accepting or rather deciding her to be my girlfriend.

"I did not know… Funky did. Even the balcony floor is full of our blood. My left eye still hurts," I stated. I had told him that it was Funky who gave me the news…, Kate had not yet face to face told me,

"Dude, Funky?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Dude, Funky? You know Funky does not bring home any random girl. He is too egocentric to do such a thing to someone," Luke stated. Of course, Funky was all cocky. He always saw himself as the prize; he always did. He never brought girls to their homes. It was always actually the other way around. Girls usually brought him to his house.

"Dude, they're buddies. Plus, she's expecting," I stated, and then saw Kate approaching the balcony. "I will discuss this matter later, in the evening. Let us meet at the normal town square," I added onto the call and cut off the line.

"Love," Kate stated as she kissed me, and we started watching the city. "Let's go on a date," Kate stated out of nowhere.

"Where?" I asked without thinking, then remembered Kate always preferred to be surprised.

"I know a good place, a movie night?" I asked her as she reached onto my shoulders with her arms, as if seducing me, and initiated a deeper kiss. She was always initiating the first move most times. I was more tender when initiating, but that kiss on the rooftop, it was me who initiated, and I was so very happy about it. But also, this I usually enjoy.

 Isn't it beautiful when a woman initiates?

And one thing led to another, one touch led to another, and I was already pinning her on the balcony wall, deepening the kiss, when she suddenly stopped, just a little bit.

"What's the problem?" I asked, and she raised her eyes onto me.

"Your friend does not like me?" she asked, and I saw both fear and pain in her hazel eyes. Damn, her eyes would rhyme so well with my name… I had never realized anyway.

"It is not about you, it is just… he barely trusts anyone," I stated.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"With my life," I answered, and murmured, "shut up and kiss me." And we did, the only thing that made all the butterflies in my stomach free, all the muscles in me relax, and that which made my blood rush and my hands not relax. How can one's hand relax when all this is your favorite? It is like being given all your favorite desserts in one being. Which place do you devour first?

"I fought with Funky," I stated. It was like she just was not ready to speak about Funky, because she just forced me to embrace her lips, and I just did not feel like it. She just wanted me, I felt, and I could not just stop myself from kissing her. And kissing became too much for me, and I started exploring her neck. Hell, it was the balcony, someone might see us, my mind raced, but that did not matter. I would marry her anyway. It does not matter. 

The table became my next stop with her, without even realizing something fell out of our doings. And then the couch, where no sin had ever embraced it, and I steadily placed her down, almost naked she was.

 However I removed her clothes fast, was an art I knew nothing about, and I looked at her eyes as if making sure that she really wanted this, or maybe making sure of things that I was not sure about. In most movies, this was the time someone would say 'I'm pregnant,' but for me, the news was given from an unexpected source, and my breath steadied as I was about to devour all the parts of her lips. And then buzz, buzz… Her phone screamed.

 It screamed again, and I stopped.

 I literally stopped, as if someone had told me to stop. 

I literally stopped, and she went to check her phone after I removed myself from her top. 

She looked at me before answering it, as if in war with herself whether to answer or not.

So I rose from the seat and went near her, as she fast flipped her phone onto the table. Maybe she did not want to answer it. And my thoughts feared that she wanted to remove the child. And I became scared.

And I hugged her tightly, as if wishing she could read my thoughts.

I really loved her..,

I really did..,

All my muscles tensed up even on thought of her,

Even when her name was called out, my senses would just uprightly hear.

"Please do not hurt it," I stated, more of a murmur.

 I don't know why I was scared or what I was scared of more, 

losing it, or losing her, 

but what I knew was that I just needed her to be strong and let me be the man that the world taught me to be.

And atleast, even for once.., finally devour the opportunity of being a father.