CH26: Prepare for Trouble, and Make It Blah-Blah-Blah.

You know, I'd been Spider-Man for almost a year, and all things considered, my career as a vigiliante lunatic that swings around New York on webs had been going pretty great. I had a network of acquaintences, two very important Avengers as mentors, even if one was retired, and both Steve motherfuckin' Rogers and Tony son-of-a-bitch Stark knew my name.

That wasn't nothing. That was a helluva lot, actually.

So then how fucking come I keep finding myself fighting FUCKING BIRD PEOPLE?!

Earlier that day... (because everyone loves this fucking trope, right?)

"It's like we thought," Michelle said, as she came into my room without even knocking. "Li's using the shelters to launder money, along with a few businesses that he 'benevolently sponsors'. Did I wake you up?"

"Bwhu?" I blinked. I patted blindly for my phone and glasses, and looked at the time. "Mich'lle, 's six fourt'y-eigh' 'n th' fuckin' mornin'. Why're you here? And 'n m' apar'men'?"

"Right, remember that text I sent you?" she said, closing the door behind herself and pacing around my apartment.

"Y'mean the extremely alarming text that just said 'he found me'? The one you followed with 'never mind, I'm good'? Yes. I recall." I was slightly more awake, but my bed still called to me.

Seriously, she just did that. I was literally inside Li's office, escrima sticks in one hand and crawling on the wall to shove them inside his eyes when I got the second text from Michelle. And since I made it the whole way there in a panicked wrath haze, getting out was a lot harder.

"Right, well, he bought the line and let me get involved. He had me start by filing stuff, which seems like a waste of me, but I snuck some photos of his files." She pulled out her phone and showed me some pictures, but the glare of her phone (which was set much brighter than my own) made me wince and groan in pain. "Sorry. The point is, I ran the numbers and they don't add up! I have evidence that he's been laundering money!"

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Does a bear crap in the woods?" she asked in return.

"This is great, seriously great. But I have a question, if you don't mind?"

"Oh, no, go ahead." She was way too chipper.

"It's is currently ten 'till fucking seven and we don't have class until 11, so why the hell are you still awake?"

"I couldn't sleep until I knew!" she complained, waving her arms in the air like a bird. "I've been volunteering for this asshole for almost years, and he just let me look at all the evidence that he's been lying to me all this time. To all of us!"

"Right." I rubbed my face. "And you just walked over here as soon as you worked out all the math?"

"Pretty much." She nodded. "So what now?"

"Ugh," I rolled off the bed, making it fold back into the wall while I fell to the ground gracelessly. "First, I'm going to try and remember how my body works. After that, we're going to get coffee. After that, planning. I'm good at planning."

"Are you though?" I heard her say while I moved my laptop off of the boxes and started looking for clean clothes. "Where are we even going to get coffee at this hour? I mean, I've been drinking expressos non-stop, but that's because I have a coffee machine in my room."

I stopped, realizing she's right. Then I put everything back on top of the box and grabbed one of my super suits and started putting it on.

"You mind if we swing instead of walk?" I asked her. "I think we should talk with Kamala, and I'm sure she has a coffee machine."

"Oh, yeah, sure! I'll meet you on the roof!" she started to run off, but opened the door to pop her head back in. "Nice boxers, by the way."

And off she went.

I blinked, slow and stupid, before pulling down my super pants and seeing I was wearing some Star Trek-themed boxer-briefs with 'The Final Frontier' written on the back.

I groaned, hid my reddened face under my mask, and marched off to the roof, locking the door behind me.

'I don't even like Star Trek!'

It took MJ a while to stop screaming in my ear. Then it took her a while to stop whooping. It was the usual reaction. Whenever I had to carry a civilian to safety, they usually went from panic to elation, though it took different amounts of time for each person.

Honestly, I kind of shared her joy. Swinging was old hat by now, but I'd just recently healed my ribs. While I gave her time to get used to swinging, I gave a couple laps around the city, and I surprised myself with how much I'd missed the feeling of cutting through the air with nothing but a single web line keeping me safe.

Once she remembered it was the middle of the morning and we were supposed to be stealthy, she stopped whooping, and I finally swung us over to Kamala's house. And, frankly we could have done it better, but I was fucking tired, so I just opened the window, walked in, and shook her awake.

"Hey, Kam," I whispered, shaking her awake. "How's the coffee situation around here?"

Predictably, she screamed and tried to punch me in the face with an enbiggened fist, which I dodged easily.

"Jake?!" she looked around. "What? Why are you in my room? Why are you and Michelle in my room? What time is it?"

"You can call me MJ," the girl in question said.

"Okay. What time is it, MJ?"

"Little before seven, right?" she turned to me.

I pulled my phone from my utility belt. "Uh, no, it's two past seven, actually."

"Why are you two in my room at this hour, then?" Kamala still had an embiggened fist raised over her head, but I didn't mention it in case she remembered and decided to use it.

"Michelle woke me up and misery loves company. Also, she says she has evidence that Negative's been laundering money through-"

I stopped and turned to look at the door half a second before Kamala's dad kicked it in. "Kamala! What are you doing-"

He stopped. He looked at me, then at the enbiggened fist, then at Michelle, then back at me.

I waved.

He waved back, gaping like a fish.

Two more people, who must've been Kamala's brother and mother, rushed up behind the father, and gaped with him.

"Um," Kamala's arm disembiggened. "This isn't what it looks like?"

Kamala's mom made some amazing coffee, and I didn't hesitate to let her know what I thought about it.

"Thank you, Spider-Man," she said, pouring me my twentieth cup even though I insisted she should just let me pour myself. "It's nice that someone likes my coffee around here."

The jab was probably directed to Kamala, her dad, and/or her brother, who were all talking in the living room. I'd been listening in half-heartedly, paying just enough attention to know that they weren't fighting as much as expressing how much they worried, yet felt proud. Kam's mom had already explained that she knew her secret, on account of Bruno and Kamala sucking at keeping secrets.

Michelle was sitting next to me, looking like she was starting to nod off. After hearing how she kept herself awake with expresso after expresso, Kamala's mom had refused to serve her any more coffee.

"You okay there, MJ?" I asked, somewhat amused.

"I'd be better if you gave me some coffee," she grumbled. "How much longer do you think they'll take?"

Just as she said that, the family untangled from the stretched-arm hug that Kamala had literally wrapped them in, and walked into the kitchen.

Kamala's dad made to talk, but I spoke first. "I'm sorry, Kamala."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spill your secret." I gestured vaguely at her family. "I mean, it obviously worked out, but it wasn't my secret, and I'm sorry. I'm stupid before coffee and all I could think was that you probably had some and definitely needed to hear the latest news on the case."

She sighed, before giving me a tired smile. "It's not how I wanted to do it... but I didn't really have a plan anyways. I accept your apology, Spider."

I pulled off my mask with a resigned shrug. "Fair's fair. I'm Jake."

Kamala's family flinched when they saw my eye, but were tactful enough to not mention it. Kamala sat on the other side of me, and declined her mother's offer of coffee to stretch her arms and pour herself a glass of Orange Juice without leaving her seat.

"It'll be nice to do stuff like that openly from now on," she commented, sipping her glass.

Kam's mom gives me a look of 'can't appreciate good coffee to save her life, this girl' to which I reply with a solemn nod. Nothing worse than being a coffee person in a house of tea and juice lovers.

"So, what now?" Kamala asked. "You said MJ had some stuff?"

I turn to look at Michelle, who was fully passed out, face-on-table. I shook her gently by the shoulder and when her eyes opened, handed her my own cup of java, ignoring the disapproving look Kam's mom was giving me.

Once she drained the cup, she started talking.

Now, I'm ashamed to admit it, but since most of it went over my head, I kinda disconnected and just thought about my bed. The jist of it, as MJ explained once she saw my glassy-eyed look, was that the numbers of the money that went into F.E.A.S.T. as donations and the amount actually spent on F.E.A.S.T. were completely different.

"Great," I nodded. "That means we've got Li. Now, we gotta focus on the Cape side of business, and see how far he's infiltrated the pi-I mean, the cops."

"We're a Muslim household," Kamala's dad said. "You can call them pigs. We don't really care."

I fucking love Kamala's family.

"Right. And the drones."

I turn to look at MJ, who still hasn't returned my cup. "What?"

"The drones. The ones that blew up your school."

I blink. I blink again.

"I completely forgot about them!" I said, slamming a hand against my face. "I'm so stupid!"

"I thought it was just Tinkerer," Kam chimed in, expression souring at the thought of the escaped mad scientist.

"Tinkerer's tech is all clunky. The drones were sleek. Different tech guy." I started rubbing my chin. So far, Negative's guys had all been Spider-Man villains. Who else...

Oh fuck.

"Actually, I think I'm going to look over some stuff. I might have an idea of who it is."

"Well, that's all well and good," Kamala's mom said. "But it's very early and all the heroes have school later."

"Right, we should get some sleep while we can." I gave MJ a look. "You especially."

"I'm fine," she waved me off, clutching the empty cup of coffee like Gollum with his ring. "I'll just stay up until it's night again."

I traded a look with Kamala's mom.

"Put me down!"

"Give up the cup, Jones!"

"Never!"

I was currently holding MJ by her sides, lifting her over my head. Kamala's mom was standing on a chair trying to pry the cup from her fingers, while Kam's dad and brother stood behind her ready to catch her if necessary.

"This is why I didn't want to give her coffee!" Kam's mom shouted at me.

"Now is not the moment to guilt trip me!" I shouted back. I started tickling MJ, but she just smacked me in the head with her elbow. "Ow!"

Eventually, MJ broke through the typical lunacy adquired after hours of not sleeping, apologized for everything, and handed over the cup. We bid Kamala goodbye, and headed to her house. As we were leaving, I heard Kam's mom tell her daughter that she'd be skipping school the next day, since she needed extra energy to protect Jersey.

I walked side-by-side with MJ, just taking in the sights of Jersey at night. Honestly, New York was still better.

"You know, we'd get there faster if we swung," MJ said, all casual-like.

"No."

"Why not?" The casualness left, and she decided to just whine about it.

"People that elbow me in the head don't get a ride in Spidey express."

"I said I was sorry," she patted my head. "Come on! I won't scream!"

To save the conversation from veering too far into innuendo, I gave in and gave her a ride.

On the web. Not the Spidey express.

Shut up.

Later, in front of school...

"I feel like shit," MJ muttered.

I groaned in return. I didn't really say anything, just a zombie groan.

The bags under my eyes were even darker than usual, and MJ's hair was practically a tied-down afro. I was pretty sure I was wearing my shirt backwards, and MJ's typical resting bitch face was now an active murder face.

We looked at each other, then at the school.

"You know..." I said, "My grades don't seem to be too bad so far. And I doubt the teachers'd miss me. And Kamala is skipping."

"Your point being...?"

"Wanna skip too?" I asked. "I found a good place to make a web hammock and nap."

Getting Peter to make the Web Bombs last ten hours instead of the usual single hour was one of my best decisions.

MJ thought it over, before nodding. "That sounds awesome."

So yeah. I took her to this big billboard I found while I was healing my ribs, trying to be sneaky since I didn't feel like changing into my super suit just for a nap. I used a couple web bombs to improvise two web hammocks and a safety net under us, one a bit above the other. Michelle took the top one, and I set an alarm for a little before school ended. Our internal clocks would be messed up, but we'd be fresh and ready for our investigative work. In theory.

Waking up was a bit of an awkward affair, thanks to us suddenly being completely awake and realizing I'd literally just asked her to sleep with me, but as the mature teens we were, we only blushed a lot. MJ refused my help in getting her down and instead opted for jumping down and bouncing off of the safety net, but other than that, it was all normal.

Yup.

Suuuuper normal.

Whatever. After that we met with Kamala in Circle Q. She was already in costume, so I went to the back to change into my super suit.

[By the way, sorry about how I acted last night at your place. I was a bit delirious]

[It's okay, Michelle]

[MJ. Friends call me MJ]

Once I finished changing and texted Marvel to join me behind the Circle Q, Michelle went to F.E.A.S.T. Before she left, I handed her a few things, in case of emergency. She gave me a small smile and a nod before leaving.

After that, Ms. Marvel and I snuck around alleys until we left, swinging and parkouring around rooftops on a quick patrol before going back to the case.

"So, did you find out who sent the drones?" she asked me, once we stopped on a rooftop for a quick after-patrol break. "You've been a bit dodgy about it."

I winced under my mask, before I started pulling some papers out of my utility belt.

"This' who we're going to check out," I said, handing over the papers. "Guy that used to work for Osborn, called Otto Octavius. Smartest guy there, if his awards, PhD's and diplomas are any indication. Moved here about a month after Osborn and I had our... issues."

Marvel seemed a bit uncomfortable at the mention of Osborn. The details had been kept private, but it was publicaly known that Osborn did something to piss me off and it ended extremely poorly for his green ass. Shocker and I'd made sure the rumors spread with a bit more detail on the criminal side of things. "And you think he's connected to Negative?"

"I'm not sure..."

'YES! OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE IS SO FUCKING GUILTY! I'M GOING TO NAIL HIM TO THE FUCKING WALL BEFORE HE CALL STEAL MY BODY! THAT FAT FUCKING CREEP, I WILL TEAR HIS LIFE A NEW ASSHOLE! I FUCKING HATED SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN AND THAT SHIT AIN'T HAPPENING ON MY WATCH! NO WAY, NO FUCKING HOW!'

"I'm suspicious of him, but I just want to ask him a few questions. No need to build my own enemy."

Yeah, as much as I hated the idea of Doc Ock generally existing, I wasn't going to risk turning him into a villain by accident. I hate that cliché. Plus, despite everything, he was one of the smartest people around. He could do a lot of good.

We went over to the apartment building Octavius was staying at. We went in through the window, and climbed up to the floor he was staying in.

[Only one heartbeat]

I raised one finger, and Marvel nodded. That's one of the things I liked most about working with her, really. She was intuitive on the job.

I knocked on the door. "Doctor Octavius? My friend and I have some questions for you."

[Metal plates sliding together]

[Sand shifting against the walls]

[An exhaled breath, previously held in anticipation]

[The hearbeat quickens]

[Finally!]

I tackled Marvel out of the way just before a torrent of sand blew open the door.

"Oh, you've got to be fucking-"

That was as far as I got before the sand enveloped me.

Before I sank under it, I managed to spy two metal wings.

Michelle was nervous.

Despite the very awkward nap with Spidey/Jake/Whatever-She-Was-Supposed-To-Call-Him, she still had bags under her eyes and her whole body felt sluggish. She was getting Li's coffee, and she couldn't help but wonder, despite the stupidity of it, if he'd notice her sleepy state and connect the dots.

She went up the stairs. Li's office was on the second floor of Michelle's usual F.E.A.S.T. Shelter, which was apparently the first one Li'd founded. Michelle's 'office' was the archives, and she'd gotten a little chair and table with a lamp on a corner. Apparently Li was lousy with paperwork and, since Michelle had given the impression of being a smart girl, he decided to let her look over it.

The walls between their offices were thin enough that Michelle could listen to the crappy Country music Li liked to listen to while he worked. He'd told her once that he enjoyed the irony of being a self-made Chinese immigrant millionaire that listened to Country.

That was the worst part of being close to a Crime Lord, Michelle decided, sometimes they got you to agree and laugh with them.

"Here's your coffee, Mister Li," she said, handing over the foam cup from Starbucks. "Mostly cream and sugar, just like you asked."

"You don't have to stop calling me Martin just because you're my intern, Michelle," he said, sounding amused. "But thank you."

"It's more professional that way," she answered, with a simple shrug. "So, what do you want me to do? Manage your agenda?"

In theory, she was supposed to be on that already, but when she reached for the little black book on Li's desk, his hand snapped forward and took it before she could.

That was the thing. Li had told her that she'd be in charge of looking over paperwork, getting him coffee, and managing his agenda, but so far she'd only done the first two. He'd said he was easing her into it, but...

"Ah," Li looked at the book in his hand, then back at her, looking almost surprised.

Yeah, that. It like he didn't realize he was grabbing the book until after he'd done it.

"No, not quite yet, Michelle," he said, still smiling, but Michelle spotted a bit of sweat going down the side of his face. "For now, I think it'd be fine if you just looked over more of my paperwork."

More evidence in the paperwork would be good. Li's little black book of secrets would be even better.

"... of course." She gave a fake little smile and left.

Or rather, she walked out, left the door almost-closed behind her, went into her 'office', waited until he put on that stupid Country music, and went back outside Li's office with her camera phone out and recording.

Over the Country music, Michelle could hear Li arguing with someone. "Are you stupid? I thought you didn't want to get found out."

'Who is he talking to?' Michelle opened the door slightly, making no sound, but finding Li glaring at a mirror on a wall from his seat behind the desk.

"... of course I want her safe! ... Yeah, great plan. It's only your damned luck that she hasn't found anything yet. I just hope she does soon so the cops can put us behind bars."

'Maybe he isn't Negative? What if he has like a twin brother, or-'

"Stop! Wait, it isn't your turn, just sto-" Suddenly, black and white energy burst out of Li in a blinding flash of light. When Michelle's eyes recovered, she had to cover her mouth and stifle a gasp.

Slightly smoking, a villain sat where Martin Li had just been.

"I believe, Martin," Mr. Negative said. "That you need a reminder of who is in charge here. Me. Your very own personal monster. The only reason I let you keep F.E.A.S.T. is because I like the easy money laundering and the ability to rub the fact that there's nothing you can build that I can't corrupt."

The villain stood up and walked over to look out of Li's window, turning off the audio system first. The villain's voice was muted and faint, like hearing someone through a wall.

"Miss Jones will either be incompetent and not find any evidence, be stupid and find it and take it to the police, or be smart, find it, and offer to cover it up. In any case, I win. As always."

And yeah, that pissed Michelle off.

'Here's option four, asshole,' she thought, pressing down as hard as she could, bursting into the room and tossing one of the web bombs Spidey had given her into the villain's back. He almost had time to turn around, but the web bomb burst before he could finish the movement and stuck him in the corner of his office, covered completely.

Michelle was tempted to whoop and holler and celebrate, but instead she ran in, stepping as loud and heavy as possible, and snatched the little black book into her back pocket. When she saw the black and white energy coming out of the cocoon, she rushed outside, again making her footsteps as loud as possible, slammed herself against the wall, and curled up on the ground clutching her stomach.

Michelle had her eyes closed, but she heard Negative's rushed footsteps and smelt ozone, like electricity was near. A fizzling sound later, Li stood over her, gently moving her.

"Michelle! Are you okay? What happened?"

She groaned. "I weird sounds from your office, so I went to check in. When I came out some total asshole rushed out of your office, punched me in the stomach, and ran off."

"Did you see what he looked like?" Li's voice had an almost demented edge to it.

"No, just that they was big," she coughed, trying to make it sound as throaty and real as possible. "He was wearing black."

She heard him mutter something through his teeth that, in part, sounded suspiciously like 'Spider!'.

"Can you get up?" He asked her, going to move her.

"I'm fine! Just go and look for him, I'll just get an icepack from downstairs later." She made to get up, and flopped back down. "As soon as I stop feeling like throwing up. Ow."

"If you're sure?" Li nodded when she waved him off, and ran down the stairs.

Michelle waited until he was gone, and got up, cursing a bit when she felt pain on her back.

'And now I have to spend the rest of the day with ice on my stomach while I look for evidence through Li's boring, boring paperwork,' Michelle thought. She patter the book on her back pocket. 'You better be worth it, you little shit. And the two superdorks better be thankful.'

Kamala thought about a lot of things.

She thought about race, religion, the moral implications of the Avengers existing, sloths, how cool it is to be a hero, what it'd take to be an Avenger, and where she could get some martial arts classes to fight like Spider-Man.

After the doors burst out and a frickin' beach went to smother her friend to death, Ms. Marvel thought about how, sometimes, it felt like the universe gave some villains cooler powers just so heroes had to be creative in taking them out.

This thought was suddenly interrupted when one of Spidey's webs stuck to her back and pulled her onto the ground.

Through the sand, she heard Spider-Man scream, "SHRINK! NOW!"

Marvel disembiggened just in time to avoid two rectangular metal blades that went through the drywall and stuck into the ground where she'd just been. Thinking fast, she went through one of the holes the blades had just made, found the bad guy (some dude in a metal bird suit), and embiggened right in his face, with an extra embiggened fist smashing into him and throwing him through the wall and out of the building.

Marvel turned around just in time to see Spidey smash through the wall, land on his hands and flip onto his feet, glaring at the sand monster as it stood there on the hallway.

(A part of Kamala wondered if Spider-Man did those flips on purpose or if her got so used to flipping and swinging around that he gets itchy if he doesn't flip at least once during a fight.)

The sand monster gathered and slowly gathered and turned into a man. The analytical side of Kamala noted down his features. White, muscular, buzzcut, green striped shirt, scar on his chin, cocky attitude.

"You're pretty slick," the villain said in a heavy New York accent. "Most people can't find a way out after I start crushing."

"Okay," Spidey sounded extremely done. "I don't know about anyone else, but you're obviously from New York. Why the fuck are you here?!"

"Why are you here? You're from New York too," the Sand-guy pointed out.

"Because Mr. Negative is here!"

"Well, that he is. And he pays well."

Spidey raised a finger, stopped, rubbed his chin, and blinked.

"Well shit," he said. "You got me there."

He looked down, and muttered something to himself.

And then he jumped into the floor, avoiding more metal blades. One went through Sand-guy's face, but it just reformed once it was out of him. He was frowning, though. So, yeah, silver linings?

The bird-person (and she was so done with bird people after the Edison bird scientist) flew up, and looked at them through the hole. His voice blared through a speaker. "Octavius knew you would find him eventually, Spider-Man!"

Spidey just stared at him, before looking down at Kamala. "Hey, you wanna handle Beach Body while I mop the floor with Big Bird over here?"

"Me? How am I going to fight him?" Marvel complained, "He's made of sand! I punch people!"

"Uh, I dunno, use the enviroment? That's what I do." He scratched his chin. "Just treat him like a sand castle. Easiest thing in the world to kick down."

"That's-" But Spider-Man was already jumping off and sticking two webs on Big Bird's chest.

Kamala turned around, and found Beach Body there, arms crossed.

'Okay, okay, I can do this.' Kamala thought, very much feeling like she couldn't do this. 'I just have to do what Jake does and use the enviroment! I'm sure there's a construction site around here, maybe I can trap him in cement, or-'

"Hey, if you want me to take it easy on you, no problem," Beach Body said, making soothing gestures with his hands. "I'd hate to hurt a lady."

...

Oh.

Hell.

The fuck.

Not!

Kamala's embiggened fist smashed into him, carried him through both brick walls of the elevator shaft, and out the building.

"So that's why he's always throwing people off of buildings," Kamala muttered.

As it turned out, Spidey wasn't lying. Tossing people off of buildings was immensly effective and satisfying.

She rushed through the holes with stretched legs, and jumped down to find Beach Body reforming.

"Okay, don't wanna be treated like a lady? I can accommodate." He said. His right fist shifted to a spiky ball, and the other into a mallet.

Kamala knew, deep down, that she was going to win this.

She didn't have a plan, any ideas, and their powers were a bad match. But she knew, in the depths of her heart, that she wasn't going to lose.

Because she was absolutely not losing to some New York super-jerk.

"Bring it, Beach Body," she crowed back, both fist embiggened and ready.

"My name is Sandman!" He burst forward on a jet of sand. Kamala tried to jump out of the way, but he smacked her with the mace hand and sent her flying down the street.

"Ow. Noted." With a groan, Ms. Marvel stood up. She was in the middle of the street, but at least the cars had stopped in lieu of cape fight.

She nodded at one driver, who returned the gesture with a thumbs-up. Then she limped over to the sidewalk and stood up straight.

"Okay, take two: let's go!" she rushed him. When Sandman took another swing at her, she disembiggened to half-size, then once the spiked-ball hand was done swinging, she embiggened to double size and uppercutted Sandman in the same movement, sending him flying, bursting him into a cloud of sand.

Then she stretched her hands forward and shaped them into a ball as airtight as she could make around the mass of Sandman, reared back, and threw him as hard as she could with her embiggened muscles. Sandman screamed the whole flight, and Kamala covered her eyes from the sun with a hand as she watched the man complete the arc of his flight and smash into the docks.

'I wonder if they fixed the damage from the Rhino fight already,' Marvel mused, as she ran as fast as her embiggened legs could take her towards the docks. 'Okay, now is thinking time, Kamala. You got him on the back leg, now you just have to push him the rest of the way. How do you do that?'

As half-finished plans swam around her head, Kamala reached the Docks with a jump and started to look for Sandman. She walked around the stacks, still embiggened to twice her normal size, but she couldn't find anything.

'C'mon, Marvel! Where would you hide, if you were a man made of sand?'

The light went off in Kamala's head. Her fingers stretched and shifted to wrap around a stack of containers, and lifted them. Under it, she found a small amount of sand, but it rushed off under a different stack.

"Crap!" she dropped the stack as gently as she could in a hurry, disembiggened as much as she could, leaving her to the size of a bug, and ran to keep up with the sand.

She chased after it as it joined different clumps of sand under different stacks, the amount slowly growing. A look over her shoulder let her see that the same was happening under the other stacks, which drew a curse that'd get her mouth washed at home.

'So it's a trap,' she thought, then embiggened to normal size. 'Let's see it, then.'

The sand started gathering at one point in the middle of several rows. Marvel embiggened to 50% over her normal size and took a battle stance, but a clump of sand hit her on the back of the legs, sending her flying and making her fall on her butt. Before she could get up, sand started rushing over her, covering her completely. Thinking quickly, she grew as much as she could, twice her normal size, then shrunk down, leaving a big space, before exiting through a hole left over on a single stretched leg.

She barely had time to embiggen before the sand covered her leg and started crawling up.

"Gah!" she tried to shake him off, but he gathered back into a person and slammed a mace-hand onto her face, sending her reeling back. She stumbled and fell on her back on top of a stack, which crumbled and fell under her weight.

Sandman formed back into a person standing on her chest and smirked down on her. "Sorry about this, kid. But you're dealing with a professional."

"Lucky me," Kamala grumbled, before disembiggening as fast as she could. Sandman fell on the wrecked containers, and started looking around nervously.

"Oh, this again?" he complained. "I don't have the patience to look for-"

Before he could finish, a broom slammed through his head from behind. His head reformed and, after half a second to get his bearings, he turned around to find nothing.

"What the-"

Again, he was interrupted. This time, an entire kitchen sink (somewhat broken from having been inside a crushed container) slammed into his back, forcing him back into being sand and reforming. Sandman whipped around immidiately, but again found nothing.

"Where are you, you little pest?!"

An entire metal wall of a container rose up on two stretched hands and slammed down on him. Sandman reformed, and found a very angry Muslim superhero, with a body in normal size and two very large fists.

"Here." Sandman barely had time to cuss before two huge fists slammed into him. She smashed him into the ground repeatedly, waited until he reformed, and did it again. As Ms. Marvel had just confirmed, it took him a bit to get his bearings after transforming his head into and back from sand. She could use that.

She hit him with a huge uppercut, and sent him spinning into the air before he smashed into another stack of containers. She slammed both huge hands into it, and was about to squeeze and shake him into submission, but a sudden pain in her hands stopped her. She released Sandman to find he'd shifted into a spiked ball.

Once he fell to the ground, it took him a while to get his bearings and reshape into a person (and even then, he still looked a little green around the gills). Ms. Marvel, for her own part, had shrunk her hands to regular size and she was looking down on the bleeding holes on them.

"I am never fighting a shapeshifter again," Kamala swore.

"Ditto," Sandman agreed, sounding like he was holding back vomit.

Before he could make sure that his breakfast stayed down, Marvel slammed a gigantic fist down on him once more, wincing with pain when she did so. Then she lifted the fist and did it again. And again. And again. Kamala kept hitting the spot, just praying that he'd stay down.

"You know I'm not there anymore, right?" She turned around, and got sent flying by a gigantic sledgehammer of sand.

She snapped out of it mid air, and barely kept it together to stretch her body into a paraglider shape. She let the wind carry her to the beach, where she just dropped in a disembiggened form. Her breathing was ragged and hurried, and her chest felt tight.

She ran down the beach, avoiding the eyes of people messing around on the sand, and hid behind a child's sand castle.

She couldn't do this. She'd lucked out against the Thomas Edison bird, it was just a dumb villain. This guy was serious business. She couldn't keep him down with punching, and that was her one type of attack! She didn't even know how to throw a punch!

She didn't have an utility belt and two ninja mentors like Spider-Man! She didn't have a million-dollar power armor like Iron Man! She didn't have lasers like Captain Marvel!

How was she supposed to keep down someone like Sandman?!

Kamala forced herself to take a deep breath. She held it in, then released it. She repeated the process a few times.

Was this how she was going to be, her whole life as a hero? Just scared?

... No. When she got her powers, she said she wanted to be like Captain Marvel. She wanted to be big, perfect, sexy, powerful. And she'd gotten power. Unlike so many others that prayed for special abilities, she actually. Got. Powers.

Who was she to let them go to waste?

She put a finger on her ear, activating the headphone Bruno had modified so it changed size with her.

"Call Bruno!" she hissed.

In one ring, her best friend picked up the phone. "Kamala! I'm watching the news, you're fighting some kind of sand guy?"

"Sandman." She confirmed. "I can't beat him with the usual punching goodness. Any ideas?"

"Um," she heard papers flying through the air as her best friend tried to find a blank one. Soon enough, he did, and Kamala could hear scribbling on it. "Okay, this is just a guess, but I don't think he's in every bit of sand. The news footage shows him turning into some guy with a green shirt?"

"Yeah?"

"Right. What happens when he reforms his head? Does it take him a second?"

Kamala blinked. "Uh, less than one, but yeah?"

"Great! This is my theory: You'd need a brain the size of a skyscraper to spread it across all that sand and control every single bit directly. There must be a small clump of sand that doesn't move or interact with stuff like regular sand. Your problem is that it's literally like looking for hay in a haystack." Bruno cleared his throat. "Didn't Spider-Man have any advice?"

"That I use my enviroment and treat him like a sandcastle," Kamala scoffed. "It doesn't even make sense! Sandcastles crumble because they have..."

She stopped. Without thinking, one hand went to the sandcastle she'd been hiding behind.

It was wet with saltwater.

Wet.

Saltwater.

A huge grin literally stretched Kamala's face. "Bruno?"

"You got a plan?"

"I got a plan!" she hung up without another word, and stretched to regular size, then embiggened to triple size, and then to five times her size, more than she'd ever done before. It was exhausting, and she had the horrible image of her running out of energy and ripping out of her skin, but she grit her teeth and kept it up.

She had a plan. She had a plan, and she was going to see it through. Since the whole mess with Negative happened, she had to face honorable villains and dirty cops that wounded her for money. Thieves followed stricter codes of conduct than policemen, sworn to uphold justice and law. And yeah, she always knew that cops could be racist jerks, but she didn't think they'd ultimately all side with crooks over heroes.

Nothing, Kamala was realizing, was as it should be.

But that's why people like Captain Marvel, Iron Man, and Spider-Man put on the masks. That's why she put on the mask. Because things needed to be as they should be, and they weren't going to get like that on their own. Someone needed to do something, and for once, she was following that statement with the words 'and that someone is ME!'.

So Kamala Khan was going to take her plan and use it to put Sandman behind bars. Because she was a hero.

Because she was Ms. Marvel.

People were gathering around her and taking pictures, but the hero just stared down at the beach. Sandman didn't act like an intelligent fighter. Most likely, he'd think he had an upper hand on the beach. She was going to prove him wrong.

Before her, the beach rose up, people falling as it gathered into a center, rising up and shaping into an anthropomorphic blob with holes for eyes and a mouth.

"WELL, WELL, WELL," Sandman said, his voice a powerful rumble that shook the air and sent Marvel's hair whipping about. "YOU'RE DONE HIDING?"

"Oh, you better believe it," Kamala said, grinning. She jumped away from a sudden swing from Sandman, and landed in the sea. She made a come-hitter gesture with a finger.

Sandman chased after her, civilians scrambling away as he rushed into the water. Out of the corner of her eye, Marvel could see the bottom of Sandman turn to mud and falling apart as it came into contact with the sea. Given enough time, he'd probably sink into the sea on his own. But Kamala wasn't going to let some guy drift endlessly on the ocean, and she needed to melt him fast anyways.

She slammed a titanic fist against his face, and the sand flew away into the sea. Ms. Marvel wore a defiant grin, even though a huge fist of sand slammed into her gut faster than it should have been able to. She retaliated with another fist into Sandman's face, but the crook hit her on the back of her knees and threw her on her back. Sandman jumped onto her chest, and slammed a fist on her face over and over. But Ms. Marvel was still smiling, and that clearly unnerved the criminal.

"WHAT IS IT?! WHAT ARE YOU..." The voice wasn't as deep as it had just been, thought it was still very loud.

Sandman, significantly reduced, looked down with a slack jaw (or the giant sand mountain equivalent of one) and then up at Ms. Marvel.

"YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT!" He sounded like he couldn't decide between being suprised, amused, or terrified. "I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE!"

"That was the idea," Marvel said, panting slightly.

She was getting tired fast, keeping her huge form, but she didn't stop. She wrapped her giant hands around Sandman, and flipped onto her side, dunking him in the water. The sand shifted around her hands, and started crawling up her arms, some bits barely escaping the water.

"I'm not going down without a fight!" It screamed, the voice coming from everywhere, though very reduced, as the sand rushed up her arms and over her neck.

Marvel didn't answer. She just let herself finally disembiggen, back down to insect size.

'Too bad I didn't think of a cool one-liner,' Marvel mused, as her tiny body sank into the water. 'Maybe something about 'the bigger they are' and stuff? Nah, that's overdone.'

She let herself go to normal size and lifted her head above the water, pushing aside the mud that covered everything. Her eyesight was blurry and dark around the edges, but she splashed water on her face and shook her head to force herself to stay awake.

Once she saw all the sand had turned to mud, she grew to double size again, though a lot of pain exploded from everywhere when she did so, and she started looking through the mud. She let out a relieved sigh when she found a small golden mound of sand, floating on top an island of mud.

She wrapped it in her hands and stuffed it inside the compartment on her golden bracelet, which closed hermetically, thanks to some mods from Bruno.

'Bruno,' she thought, 'I should get him something nice for helping me.'

She stumbled to the beach, and looked around at the panic civilians, slowly disembiggening.

"Everyone okay?" She got startled nods in reply, and she sighed. "Okay. That's good. That's really good."

She stumbled away from the beach, but stopped when she saw a young man around her age pointing his camera phone at her.

"You're recording?" she asked him. He nodded. "Right, in that case, I have a few words for one Mr. Negative, notorious crime lord piece of crap. You think you can threaten Jersey people and profit off of them? I got a message for you: This is Jersey City. We talk loud, we walk fast, and we don't take any disrespect. Don't mess."

The guy recording whispered 'oh, snap!' and recorded her as she walked away with only some slight limping.

'Yeah, I'm doing fine,' Kamala thought with a smirk, before blinking. 'I wonder how Michelle and Jake are doing?'

"Fucking bird people," I groaned, hiding in an alley and looking over the skin-deep cut that ran down my side. "Why am I always getting my ass kicked by assholes that look like birds?"

Yeah, the fight wasn't going great.

"Come out, little bug!" Vulture called, flying overhead in circles.

Also that! Osborn did the same shit! That tears it, flying's officially a douchebag's ability.

Except for America Chavez. Mad respect for Chavez.

I actually looked her up and I think I found her instagram a little before the whole Jersey thing, maybe I should introduce her to Kate Bishop, see if I can get them to hook-

[Square blades cutting through the air]

I jumped away, and landed in a rough tumble. Then I had to stick a web to a wall and pull myself away from a car's path.

"Get out of the road, jackass!" the asshole driver shouted at me.

"HEY, I'M FIGHTIN' HERE!" I screamed back, and immidiately got embarrassed. God, I hoped no one recorded that. I stood up, and looked up at Vulture, flying high above the Jersey skyline. I sighed. "I miss New York."

And yeah, sure. The vermin are so big that the rats are basically indistinguishable from your average college student and the cockroaches might mug you if you don't pay the protection racket, but it was home. I missed the tall buildings, and the rude douchebags, and the expensive crappy coffee and the awesome cheap coffee, not to mention the greatest skyline of any city that has ever been, or will ever be.

After this shit, I was taking a big long swing around Manhattan. Just to enjoy the polluted air.

'But now,' I glared at the Vulture, who was probably aiming at me or something. 'This guy.'

I ran up the wall, jumped off of it, and used a web line to swing up into the air, where I just spun in place.

I looked his way, as he threw five feather-blades at me. I waited until was about to hit me, stuck to the side, and jumped off of it into a different one. Then, onto another one, dodging the fourth one, before walking along the fifth one and arriving at Vulture. I met him with a punch to the face, and stuck a web to his back. I pulled myself onto it, and stuck with Spider Cling as he spun around, trying to throw me off.

"And now, to ground the bird," I growled, before slamming a fist into the back-

[- - -]

I slammed through one window and several floors and walls before I snapped out of the shock and stopped myself with a web I fired blindly. I hung from the ceiling for a second before I dropped, waiting for the ringing in my ears to go down.

I shook my head and looked around. Apparently, I was in an office of some sort, surrounded by people looking at me. I got up on wobbling legs and stumbled a bit, before catching myself against a wall.

Some guy in a white shirt and black tie walked over and offered me a foam cup full of water from the cooler. I nodded at him, downed it in a gulp, and shook my head again.

"Where am I?" I asked him.

"The accounting department. You kinda slammed through the roof. I'm Chad."

"Right. Right-right-right." I shook my head again and slapped a hand against the side of my head. I looked up the hole I fell through and found Vulture standing there. "Thanks for the help, Chad."

"No problem."

I changed my almost empty web cartridges and swung out of the building, coming face to face with Vulture. His wings were folded, and his arms were folded. I could tell he was faking being relaxed.

"You know," I said. "I'm getting pretty sick of your inventor pals."

"They're a pain to work for," he admitted, his voice modifier switching on and off through it. "But the toys are nice."

I didn't bother with more bantering, instead rushing forward and slamming a fist into his stomach. He tried to dodge, but his wings slowed him down and he made choking sounds as he stumbled back from the hit. I was a bit surprised, as he just kind stumbled pathetically.

So the forcefield or whatever it was that hit me back spent most of his energy, then? If so, the fight was going to end pretty-

His wings unfolded and he shot into the air. He zoomed away to gain some distance, while I just stared in shock.

I took a deep breath, closed my eye, and let it out in a long sigh.

'Typical,' I thought, before jumping off of the building and chasing after him. 'Okay, so I have a plan. I need to get him somewhere he can't fly as well, trigger his defenses, and take him down fast. Now how do I do that?'

I chased after him for a while, until I glimpsed something from the corner of my eye.

"Oh my god," I whispered. "Yes. Yes! Hell yes! Hell fucking yes!"

I swung around a building, cut off Vulture, and directed him towards the construction site.

"I've been waiting for a fight in one of these since I put on the fucking mask!" I said, sticking two web lines to his wings and slingshotting myself into Vulture's stomach, sending him flying towards the structure while I backflipped away, still holding the web lines.

So far, the place only had those big red iron things set up, like the skeleton of the building. Vulture tried to stop himself from entering it, but I used the two lines to throw myself against him once more, forcing him into it.

I sat on one of the red iron beams as Vulture struggled to fit his wings through the beams.

"You think you're clever?"

I lifted up my mask and blew him a kiss, before pulling it back down.

He growled something unintelligible and tried to shoot feather blades at me, but by the time he got his wings aiming at where I was, I'd already left. I was running around the iron beams, using webs and Spider Cling to run circles around him, shooting webs at him every so often to stick him against different beams.

I pulled out my batons and threw them in different directions, both bouncing around until hitting him and then bouncing back to me, where I threw them again. This went on for a while until he finally screamed in frustration and spun in a circle, cutting the beams and webs recklessly. I waited with halted breath to see if the construction was going to collapse while he rose above the construction, smashing beams on his way. It shook a little, but seemed to hold.

"Enough!" With that scream, Vulture raised a hand and made a gesture. His wings opened up, and eight small drones came out, which started chasing after me. "Let's see you deal with this!"

Before he was done talking, I was already running up the construction. I jumped, caught two drones with web lines and smashed them into each other with a large explosion.

I really wish I could have seen his face.

The six remaining drones chased after me, so I just dropped into the construction.

They split up and went after me in two formations of three each. They probably had a bunch of strategies programmed, but I just tossed two web bombs and caught five of them in large webs, while I snatched one away from the web bomb and carried it with me up the construction.

"Oh that's just bull-"

I smashed the drone against his back with my eye close, and even then the flash of light left me blind. I had to use the spider cling and webs to keep the soundwave from sending me flying. My ears rang, and I couldn't see. But I still had my sense of touch intact.

[Something metallic slamming into one of the iron beams and breaking]

I threw myself forward and down, and grabbed blindly until one of my hands found the Vulture. I groped around, grabbed his helmet, wrapped my legs around his torso, and shot weblines blindly until I managed to stop our fall. Still blind, I did my best to tear apart his wings before they recovered, and tore off his mask before slamming a fist into his face.

When I recovered, I gathered all the bits and pieces of his wings, tore up his remaing drones at a distance by throwing my batons at them, and pulled out my phone.

I waited as it rang, Vulture wrapped in a cocoon at my feet while I sat down against a huge chunk of wing.

Finally, she picked up. "Spider?"

"Hey, Nat," I said. I put a finger to my ear and pulled it away, finding blood leaking from it. "Would you mind helping me with this villain I caught? I'm in Jersey and I don't know which cops I can trust."

Of course, that brought questions.

While I talked, I wondered how Michelle and Kamala were doing. I was sure Kam was able to handle Sandman, but I felt pretty bad about ditching her like that. Hopefully she wouldn't hold a grudge or think I'm a dick.

"You're a jerk!"

"Well, that's a slightly better reaction than what I expected, I guess."

We'd met up by Liberty State Park, as agreed on via text message. Vulture was still wrapped up and knocked out at my feet, while Kamala had Sandman in her bracelet. The two of us were resting side-by-side on a bench, after I'd gotten there first.

"Seriously, we're doing a team-up! You can't just ditch me to fight bird people!"

"It's not like I like fighting bird people, it just keeps happening." I grumbled. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm still getting the hang of being a team player."

"Hmph!" she dramatically folded her arms and turned her head. I was about to make some dickish comment, when I saw her hands were bleeding.

"Jesus, what happened?" I grabbed her wrist and looked her hand over.

"Sandman turned into a spiked ball in my hand. Because I grabbed him. Because I don't have weapons, Spider!"

I didn't listen, I just pulled a roll of bandages from my utility belt I started keeping there after the Rhino fight and wrapped up her hands. "This isn't perfect, but I'll help you out more once we get to Circle Q, or your house."

"Hm," Marvel didn't say anything, but she gave me her other hand once I finished wrapping it up. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I'm still mad."

"You're right to be."

She glared at me while I finished wrapping up her hand. "You suck."

"And swallow, too. Spitters are quitters."

She probably would have smacked me or something, but a Quinjet descended over the park, and Natasha dropped down on a rope, so Kam was busy gaping while I got up, Vulture over one shoulder.

I dropped him down and stretched out my arms for a hug. "Nat!"

She punched me in the stomach. It wasn't enough to double over, but I still felt a bit hurt. Emotionally, mostly.

"You don't call me for weeks, not a peep, and suddenly you show up in the middle of an anti-crime lord operation? In Jersey?" She had her arms folded. "And only because you need someone to cart away a villain."

"Man, I just keep nailing it today," I muttered, before clearing my throat. "Look, Natasha, I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you with some two-bit crime lord."

She scoffed, before looking down at my side. "You're hurt?"

"Just s scratch. Barely did more than cut the suit."

"You should get some armor."

"I have armor."

"You should get better armor."

"Yeah, that's fair," I admitted. "So we're fine?"

"I'm going to poison your drink the next time we get brunch," she said, before reaching over and patting my head. "But yes. We're fine."

I smiled, and gave a little kick to the Vulture. "Awesome. This is only one of the two villains, by the way."

"Where's the other one?"

I pointed over my shoulder at Ms. Marvel, who was listening in with an obviously stretched ear. That wasn't how ears worked at all, but this is a comic universe with comic physics, so who freaking knows if she could actually hear us.

"That's the new Ms. Marvel." Natasha raised an eyebrow. "How did you two meet?"

"Happenstance and chance and rhinos," I shrugged. "So S.H.I.E.L.D. knows about her?"

"Yes. Not much, though." she finished with a careless shrug. "We don't pay close attention to unregistereds unless they reach the A-List, and she's B at best."

"I'd get ready to change that assesment pretty soon." I muttered, watching as Marvel walked over, taking off her bracelet wordlessly. "Do you have something that can contain a villain made of sand in the plane?"

"Probably. This is an Avengers Quinjet, so Tony messes with it every so often. I'm sure the containment cell's forcefield is tight enough to hold it."

"I'm bursting with joy at your confidence, Widow." She punched my shoulder lightly, but grinned at me.

"U-um," Kamala cleared her throat and tried to speak seriously, though it came out more like a squeak. "Ms. Widow, ma'am?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have your autograph, please?" She took a deep breath. "I know you must get this all the time but I'm such a big fan of you and I really wanted to ask how those two wrist-mounted machineguns you used to wear worked and why you stopped wearing them and if maybe you could mentor me like you mentored Spider-Man I know you probably did because of the Spider thing but I really want to be a better fighter I'm sorry if it's a bother and I'm rambling I need to stop rambling oh god shut up me."

I blinked, then turned to look at Natasha. "Did you catch all of that? Because I absolutely didn't."

"Big fan. Wants to know about the wrist guns. Wants a mentor." She listed off. "In order: I appreciate it, they worked poorly and exploded on me more than a few times so I stopped using them, and no, sorry. Some else has dibs on you being their trainee."

"Really? Who?"

In lieu of answering, Natasha pointed at the lightning on Kamala's costume. As soon as the penny dropped in her head, the smile on Marvel's face stretched as far as her face allowed, which was a lot considering her powers.

I was glad for her. She hadn't really asked for permission before taking the name, so it must've been a relief to know that Danvers didn't just approve of her being Ms. Marvel, but actually wanted to train her.

Before I could react, which was saying something, Natasha's hand whipped out and grabbed me by the ear. "Listen up, little Spider. I don't care how you've been doing things until now, but I expect you to keep me updated. If you insist on getting hurt, I might as well be there to get you help after it's all done. Understood?"

"Ow! Yeah, sure, just stop twisting!" She released my ear, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and gave me a quick noogie. It was then that I realized a crowd had already gathered and were taking pictures of the whole thing. "C'mon, I have a reputation!"

I just knew Shocker was going to make jokes next time we fought.

Natasha returned Marvel's bracelet after dumping Sandman in a containment cell, pulled another promise to call from me, and left on the Quinjet.

Kam looked like she wanted to say something about the noogie, but I just ran and swung away after quickly telling her we'd meet at her house out of costume. I think I heard her cursing a bit at me, but I was struck by a very sudden case of deafness.

How odd.