CH19: They Call Me Spidey Driver...

We were halfway through Wyoming before we stopped. I had to pick a lot of wallets, but I put them back after taking a little money. A little from a lot of people meant we had enough for a full tank of gas and a single room at a crappy motel.

I tried to get us a discount with some light flirting at the front desk, but the man wasn't receptive, so we paid full price and I let Laura take the bed, while I would sit on a chair near the door.

Before that, though, we had to use the bathroom.

"Are you ready?" I asked Laura.

She nodded nervously.

She pulled out one claw and cut her arm open. Fast as I could, I snapped a hand forward, stuck a single finger in the wound, and pulled out the tracking device, a small disk the same width as my pinkie.

She whimpered in pain, but the wound soon closed. I, like an idiot, did that stupid thing where you shush someone to calm them down.

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's over."

I pulled her in a hug, and brushed my clean hand on her hair. Eventually, she returned the hug.

"Okay," I said, putting on my coat. "I have to use this for a decoy. Stay here, and stay safe. Hide if someone that isn't me knocks, and if someone enters, you run. Understood?"

She nodded.

"Good girl," I smiled. "I'll be back in a jiffy."

I pulled my mask on and rushed off.

Kimura hadn't been the same since her run-in with Spider-Man. Sable couldn't say she was too heartbroken.

"He's a monster," she whispered, curled up in a fetal position. "He can't be human."

"Yes, yes," Sable said. "But why can't he be human?"

"H-he knew what my power was," Kimura swallowed. "I turned them on, and he instantly realized what I'd done. He didn't even have to look at me. And then I c-couldn't touch him. It was like he knew everything I was going to do before I did it. And when he hit me it almost hurt, but nothing can hurt me! NOTHING!"

"Yes, I understand your point," Sable almost slapped the woman. "What then?"

"He, he just threw me through a wall, and then he started to drown me." Kimura started laughing hysterically. "But he didn't! I won, right? That means I won?"

"No." Sable said coldly, standing up and walking away. "You lost pathetically."

Sable felt sick just being near the people that worked at The Facility. She hated this assignment, but her father'd forced her to take it.

'Large amounts of money secured for large amounts of time,' Sable thought, bitterly. 'And it only cost me and my men our souls.'

Not like she could back out now. Leaving a job halfway was a death sentence for mercenaries. It left a bad precedent, one that would be almost impossible to shake off. Taskmaster and Elektra probably didn't mind, but Sable had a feeling that was the only thing keeping Deadpool around.

'Strange, I almost feel comforted by knowing Deadpool agrees with me,' Sable thought, not without amusement. 'You'd think that would fill me with shame.'

She looked at the screen, and saw that the subject was headed towards Kansas, where an ambush awaited them.

Sable wondered why they'd veered south. Maybe Spider-Man planned for them to escape into Mexico? That wouldn't stop The Facility, but it was an interesting thought to ponder.

Taskmaster liked to copy moves, but Sable liked to copy methods and tactics. Spider-Man was strange, in that he clearly knew how to think around an enemy if the way he dealt with Kimura was any indication, but literally couldn't fight a group to save his life.

He knocked out Elektra first, showing he realized she was the deadliest fighter (which Sable bitterly yet graciously admitted, as befitting a princess), but then he just jumped around, fighting whoever he had in front.

Sable almost looked forward to fighting him.

She used a teleporter, and appeared at the ambush site, where she soon took command over the eighty-thousand mercenaries.

Her eyebrow rose when the car that came up the road, with more of her people closing in behind it, wasn't a car at all, but a modified bus of some sort with the words "no sleep 'till Tijuana" painted on the side.

When it stopped in front of the barricade, her men ordered everyone inside to walk out and sit on the side of the road, while Sable walked in, tracker in hand.

She walked, further and further back, until she reached the foul-smelling bathroom.

Inside, on the back of the first aid kit was the tracker.

Next to it, there was a sheet of paper, folded to fit the kit, and with a drawing in marker of a spiderweb shaped like a heart, and a little spider with a smiley face hanging from it.

There was a speech bubble coming out of the spider. It said, "Nice try, hot stuff! XOXO, your friendly neighborhood babysitter Spider-Man!"

Sable smiled eagerly. She couldn't wait to crush him.

Maybe she should wear something special for the ocassion?

I gotta say, Nebraska deserves every joke South Park made about it.

"Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we go~" I sang softly.

Laura didn't look up. I'd gotten her some paper and crayons on the last stop, and she'd been drawing in the backseat since. She didn't want to show me what it was until it was finished, but I'd caught a few glimpses, and I thought it was a comic of some sort.

The snowstorm was still looming overhead, but it wasn't falling for now. I'd found out that a storm was slowly covering the country.

"Bah," I grumbled. "Damn dramatic weather."

A few minutes later, we were at a gas station, with Laura still drawing at a table indoors and me making small talk with the cashier.

"Yeah, I completely agree," he said, nodding his head. "The Accords are completely unfair to underaged Capes, like those X-Men guys."

"Huh, you know the X-Men?" I raised an eyebrow. "They're pretty underground, compared to the Avengers."

"Yeah, but..." he sighed, and beconed me closer. "Okay, so we're not supposed to talk about this, but there's this group that's pretty... anti-mutie."

I resisted an urge to pull his teeth out at the slur. "That so?"

"Look, I'm not anti-mutie, but you gotta admit they're dangerous." Clearly, my thoughts showed on my expression, going by the fear that filled his. "Anyway, the group met the X-Men, and they all say they beat the crap out of them."

"That so?" I doubted it. The X-Men were better than that, they knew that throwing the first punch would just make things worse. Luckily, I was not better than that. "Where does this group meet?"

An hour later, I picked up Laura at the gas station and we drove away. The rally, which had several signs with pictures of the X-Men with x's painted on their eyes and one scarecrow dressed in their uniform, suddenly found itself stopped by a single man.

The whole thing was recorded, and while the man was always somehow facing away from the cameras, the whole internet could see how a completely regular human walked into a rally, destroyed the stand the leader was sitting on, and beat his way out.

The video became a massive YouTube sensation, and the end, where the man roared 'The first amendment protects you from the goverment, not from me!' became extremely popular and quoted.

By the end of the day, we barely made it to Illinois. We weren't near any towns, I was half-asleep, and very much unwilling to let Laura drive, so we parked by the road, bundled up close with a blanket I acquired before, and we made warmth for each other as we slept through the night.

The next day, we made it all the way Ohio before shit went south. I was writing stuff down to get a room, when Laura tugged at my coat. I looked at her, and she pointed at a Christmas tree the motel had by the door.

"I'll tell you in a bit," Laura accepted that, and I finished the paperwork. I got the key (I'd made enough cash that we could afford a room with two beds, for once) and we walked into the room.

"That was a Christmas tree," I said, and from then launched into a probably too cynical explanation of Christmas.

"So these underpaid people just dress up like a fictional character and have children sit on their laps? That's..."

"Super creepy, yeah," I nodded.

"Did you ever meet one of those?"

"..."

I was five, I was pissed, and I was too smart for my own good.

My parents, who I'd never seen for more than an hour for the last year, had gotten it into their heads that it'd be good for their public images if they were seen spending time with the family.

They dragged me to a mall and told me to get a picture with Santa.

"I know you're not real," I whispered at the poor actor, who had the bad luck to be in front of me when I was on the warpath. "Watch what I do with it."

With one pull, I removed the beard, the wig and the hat.

"BEHOLD!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "BEHOLD YOUR FALSE PROPHET!"

Fury possessed the children, and soon a riot was in hand. Trash cans were toppled, windows were broken, shins were kicked. A few kids worked together, threw a trash can through a window, and soon televisions were being robbed.

A pillar of order among the chaos, I calmly walked to my parents, undisturbed by the riot around me or the guy with the pants on fire running into the fountain.

I looked at my parents.

"I think I should spend the holidays with the Parker family."

"Only once," I said darkly, glaring at nothing.

Laura tried to pull an explanation out of me, but to no effect.

Eventually, we changed into pyjamas, and we went to our beds.

As I tucked her in, Laura looked at me. "Jake?"

"Yes, Laur-bear?"

"You know how we tell everyone you're my brother? For operational security?"

"Sure." I chuckled.

"... Can we do that even if there's no one else around?"

I blinked, before kneeling next to the bed and patting her head. "Sure thing, sis."

Her smile brightened up the room.

I went to bed, and I waited until I could hear Laura's shockingly loud snoring before I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

[DANGER!]

In the same picosecond, I woke up, and I started moving out of bed.

Just as I landed out of bed, a ninja landed on my bed, stabbing a katana down on where I'd just been.

Good thing I'd been sleeping with my mask and webshooters on for the last two days.

I punched the ninja through a wall, and jumped into action.

Laura was awake, and with a muzzle of some sort on her face. She look like she'd just waken up, and the handcuffs were still tigthening around her wrists.

Her claws came out, and she tore the cuffs off as I dropkicked the guy tying her up in the face.

[DANGER!]

This time, the warning wasn't enough. A kick hit me in the stomach and sent me through a window and I landed on the street on my back.

Elektra was there, holding both sai.

"Spider," she growled.

"Elektra," I greeted. "Are you mad about me knocking you out first?"

She growled some more and jumped down, both sai out.

I flipped onto my hands, and pushed myself away and onto my feet. Her sai pierced the concrete, but she pulled them out easily.

"I'll take that as a yes," I shot two webs at her, which she dodged, but I ran forward and kicked her in the face.

She rolled with it, and suddenly I had to jump back because her sai was coming for my throat.

Every time I attacked or dodged, I had to jump back because suddenly there was another attack there. It was like she could hide from my every sense even when she was directly in front of me.

But Matt had trained me for this.

When she made to stab me in the chest, I grabbed her wrist and raised her above my head. Naturally, the other sai went for my eye, but I just smashed her into the ground, making her release the sai. I pick them up and throw them away, both landing in a garbage can.

She jumps to her feet and tries to hit me, but I dance around her and retaliate with my own futile attacks.

"This is annoying," I say.

"Quite," she agrees. "But I'm afraid I have the upper hand."

I don't bother asking what she means, I just jump out of the way.

As soon as I do, hundreds of throwing stars and arrows hit the floor where I just was.

"You're going to need more than-" I was stopped from saying 'disposable ninjas' by a claymore sword swiping for my head. I jump out of the way and turn around. "Oh. Taskmaster's here too."

I look around, and see that I'm surrounded completely by a horde of ninjas, all of them armed to the teeth, and by Elektra and Taskmaster, both of whom outclass me in technique and experience by leagues. "Shit."

"Give up, Spider-Man," Elektra said. "You are outmanned, outgunned and surrounded."

I looked out of the corner of my eyes, and I saw several wounded ninjas, along with one Laura, who was looking at me with fear.

I caught a ninja that was holding two escrima sticks with a web line, pulled them to me, knocked them out with a single punch, and grabbed the sticks.

"The only things that surround me," I growled, "Are fear and weaklings."

I think that, in the second before they all charged forward, I heard Taskmaster whisper an impressed 'holy shit'.

The ninjas came first, an all-consuming, all-surrounding horde, trained to near-perfection to work together against foes like Captain America, Iron Fist and Daredevil.

They were not, however, trained for me.

At nineteen feet of distance, I started using webs to bind some togther, stick their feet to the ground and pull them off-balance, and blind them.

At sixteen feet of distance, I started pulling enemies forward and punching them, knocking them out and tossing them either into the ground, or into other ninjas.

At nine feet of distance, they entered ass-kicking range by themselves.

Every direction had an enemy in it, so I stopped thinking and I just let my training with Matt take over, dodging and hitting everyone I had in front of me with my sticks.

I ducked a swipe for my head, I punched a ninja.

I jumped over a sword, I smashed my escrima stick into someone's teeth.

I tilted my head to avoid a throwing star, and I kick someone in the crotch so hard I hear bone shatter.

It's not perfect. I still catch a few cuts from blades and bruises from blunt weapons, but I avoid the worst of it, and return in a manner they can't get back up from.

And then the fugue stops, because I have to jump out of the cluster to avoid Taskmaster's sword.

He'd blended in with the ninjas so well, just by copying their movements, that I never realized he'd joined the fray.

Mid-air, I have to use webs to dodge the throwing stars from Elektra, and soon land away from the cluster.

Taskmaster emerges, sword out, and I brandish my sticks. I block an overhead strike from his sword, and we stay there for a moment, him trying to cut my head in half vertically, and me trying to stop him.

"You've got good moves," he says, casually, like he isn't trying to kill me. "Daredevil and Black Widow, right?"

"And someone else," I tell him.

"Who?"

I kick him in the crotch, toss his sword to the side, and headbutt him. "ME!"

Of course, that's only a temporary reprieve. While I'm pulling back from the headbutt, I realize that it was a trap.

The realization hits just a moment before the throwing star hits my right eye.

I fall back, screaming at the pain. Taskmaster gasps in pain a little, but recovers soon enough.

"You think you're so clever?" Taskmaster grumbles, and I hear him pick up his sword. "I saw you fight for more than a minute, kid. I knew you were going to do that. But Elektra-"

"I FUCKING GET IT!" I scream. Really, it felt redundant for him to explain it.

"Language," he chided, holding the sword over his head, and readying to drop it on mine. "Goodbye."

I grit my teeth, and swallow.

I knew I wasn't going to die. But I didn't like why.

Children shouldn't have to fight.

I look up, just in time to see Laura cutting the sword with the claws on her hands, and using the one on her feet to cut a diagonal line on Taskmaster's face.

I use the opening, and for once, I almost don't hold back when I punch Taskmaster in the stomach.

Vomit fills his mask and escapes through the cut that Laura made. I grab him by the face, I pull the pin out of all the flashbangs on his belt, and I throw him at the ninja, grabbing Laura and running at the same time.

The flashbang hurts me and Laura worse than anyone, with our enhanced senses. But Matt taught me to travel just with smell.

By the time my ears and eyes recover, I'm sitting in a convenience store bathroom, with Laura looking for a first aid kit and clothes we could change into.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The throwing star was still there, stuck firmly on my eye.

I looked down and wince. There were hundreds of cuts and bruises across my body, and from the green look the cuts had, the weapons had probably been poisoned with some nasty stuff.

I wasn't worried. Natasha and I found out I was immune to most poisons by virtue of accelerated metabolism, and those that were too strong, she helped me become immune to.

'Suckers,' I thought, somewhat smugly.

Then I focused on my eye.

... It wasn't like there wasn't any way to get it back. The Marvel universe was full of geniuses. Even if I couldn't grow it back, I could probably get like a robot eye from Stark, or a magic replacement from Strange.

Still, it was pretty fucking shocking.

Laura entered the bathroom, holding a bag of clothes and a first aid kit.

I told her to wait outside, but she refused, so I turned my back to her as I removed the throwing star.

I grit my teeth and resisted the urge to scream, and the damn thing slowly slid out. Eventually, it was over, and I panted for breath.

I left the throwing star on the ground, and I started bandaging my eye.

"I'm sorry you had to step in," I whisper, once that's done and I can move on to cleaning the cuts on my body. Disinfectant doesn't do much against ninja poison, but I wasn't eager to mix poison with bacteria.

"I'm not." Laura replies, resolute. "You said it yourself, with great power comes great responsibility."

"Yeah," I admitted. "But children shouldn't have to fight."

"Why not?" Laura asked. "You're not far off from a kid yourself."

That...

That wasn't...

"Well," I muttered, as I wrapped up the last bandage around my chest. "Shit."

I couldn't argue that.

I was half asleep, but I forced myself to get up, hotwire another car, and drive away.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up in the back seat, Laura sitting next to me, and both of us covered by a blanket she found in the trunk.

I decided to sleep a bit more. I still kinda felt like crap.