28.

Helpless, I lay on the cold, hard floor. I could feel the mauling I had endured, my body battered and broken. As my heartbeat slowed, I sensed the darkness closing in. The sound of crunching filled the air, the horrifying noise of the beast devouring my lifeless cubs. He was feral, consumed by his animal instincts. It seemed he had no comprehension of the gruesome act he was committing.

In those last moments, before the abyss claimed me, I realized that my attack on Charles had brought about this tragedy. My feline instincts recognized the same coldness in Damon's eyes. He was no caring alpha mate for me, just an indifferent being focused on those who deserved his affection, like Princess Mariella and the wolves.

When consciousness returned, I found my cubs huddled around me, their frightened eyes pleading for my awakening. Their desperate need propelled me forward, despite my weakened state and the slow onset of healing. They feared the return of the beast, worried it would devour them, too. I reassured them, promising that we would escape to a place where the creature could never find us.

Damon remained oblivious to the devastation he had caused, and I chose to keep his actions a secret. The burden of grief weighed heavily on my soul, and the thought of revealing the truth was too overwhelming. So, after gathering my over 300 cubs, of all sizes, I teleported us to my hidden sanctuary in Alaska.

Once a formidable fortress, it now lay enchanted, disguised as ancient ruins in the middle of nowhere. The pack knew of its existence, but it had slipped from their radar due to my careful manipulation. With the help of the witches I had befriended over the years, the fortress remained concealed, its true purpose hidden from prying eyes. 

My fortress stood tall, its imposing grey stone walls and rough masonry giving it a cold appearance from the outside. But within its walls, I had transformed it into a magnificent haven. Over the years, I had modernized and perfected its interior, creating a place that I had always known would serve a purpose. Inside, opulence greeted me, with grandeur and elegance. The grounds surrounding the fortress were vast, with lush forests and countless opportunities for my cubs to explore and engage in various activities.

As I led my cubs inside, guiding them to a few rooms to rest and become acquainted with their new home, a sense of weariness overcame me. I knew I would need assistance. Retrieving my phone, I contacted my five trusted companions, soon to share with them the tragic events that had unfolded. I needed to keep my cubs safe, prevent any further loss, and uncover the cause behind the deaths. However, I lacked any samples or clues to guide my investigation.

Preparing a larger room for my older cubs, I filled it with toys and activities to keep them occupied. Then, I reached out to Giselle, the magical house, and informed her of the distressing situation. She expressed her deep concern and assured me that she would soon send my previous cubs to assist me. It was evident that I would continue to produce litter every week.

Just as I settled everyone down, soothing them into a state of rest, I noticed the familiar figures of Wulfe, Dexter, Colin, Magnum, and Murdock approaching. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. I rushed towards Wulfe, embracing him tightly as tears streamed down my face. He looked taken aback, but understanding the gravity of the situation, he allowed me to find solace in his presence.

Colin, sensing my distress, stepped forward and enveloped me in his arms, his touch providing comfort. As I felt a gentle prick on my arm, the familiar scent of his clovers and fresh grass filled my senses. His soft murmurs, soothing and calming, gradually eased my turmoil. Words escaped me as I succumbed to exhaustion, collapsing into his embrace, finding solace in the darkness that enveloped me. 

As I slowly woke up, I noticed that the room was now filled with more people. Colin, a familiar face, came and sat beside me.

He asked, his voice filled with concern, "What happened? How did they die, and why did Damon resort to such gruesome measures?"

It pained me to recount the details, but I knew I had to share. I began telling Colin about the tragic fate of my blue lion, his haunting last words. I described the struggles of my red leopard and the worry my peach-colored tiger had expressed, fearing my anger. I spoke of the euthanasia agent I had made from my fangs, confessing my weakness in not being able to grant mercy to my suffering cubs, instead of the suffering that they had gone through, allowing them to endure a peaceful sleep.

As I shared, I noticed the tears welling up in Magnum's, Murdock's, and Dexter's eyes. Colin remained steadfast by my side as I explained how Damon had unleashed his alpha instincts upon witnessing my reaction to Charles' sudden appearance. I recounted how he had mercilessly attacked me, ensuring I wouldn't recover, and then proceeded to devour my deceased cubs, leaving the surviving ones terrified of him, fearing they might be next.

Colin informed me that cheetah wizards had arrived to help the cubs, and typically, cubs would gain their immortality by the age of two weeks. However, it seemed like sheer misfortune that these three special cubs had fallen ill and met their demise.

Colin didn't utter a word, as I speculated that perhaps if the pack had been present, those three could have been saved. The expression on his face confirmed the possibility. It became clear that blaming the pack would serve no purpose, as it was simply an unfortunate turn of events.

I knew the burden of this secret would be too heavy for the pack to bear, so I declared it must remain undisclosed. No one in the pack could know about what had happened. Just then, Wulfe presented me with a crystal. He explained that if I were to touch a cub with it, the crystal would turn green, indicating that the cub would have gained immortality and would be safe to venture outside.

Outside, I could hear the bustling activity as my previous cubs had created various areas for different age groups, ranging from just over two weeks to four weeks old. My spacious yard had been transformed into a haven for them, filled with almost miraculous wonders. Watching my cubs joyfully playing, their innocence serving as a healing balm for my wounded soul.

Colin took me to my kitchen, where he had prepared meals for me, where the aroma of delicious food filled the air. It was important for me to eat, as I was a breeding machine of sorts. After our meal, he led me to a room filled with care and warmth for the cubs. The soft lighting and gentle sounds of lullabies playing in the background created a soothing atmosphere. Colin had taken precautions to ensure that no germs could harm the cubs, and he assured me he would be there with them at all times.

He had done something to my body to stop the production of milk, explaining that it was too many calories for me to expend. He showed me the abundance of high-quality formulas and frozen milk in the freezers, providing everything the cubs needed. As time passed and my loyal five stayed by my side, my grief and loss slowly transformed into a tangible reality. 

Every week, as I had new kittens, they became a source of comfort and support, even helping me in their small ways. I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if these five hadn't been with me. Colin was furious about the entire situation, and even Giselle from the magic house visited us.

I had a lengthy conversation with her, sharing how common neonatal deaths were among regular shifters and expressing her concern. The supernatural shifters could also reside in our magic houses, and many people there wanted to help and find ways to prevent such tragedies.

I explained to Giselle that autopsies or samples were not usually performed on the deceased cubs, as it was customary for males to dispose of them. This lack of knowledge made it difficult to determine the cause of death. Giselle expressed her desire to change this, which brought me some relief. 

Despite the sadness, I found a small semblance of happiness in the presence of my cubs. I bought three special roses and planted them in our yard. The vibrant colors and delicate fragrance served as a reminder of the three little ones who had passed away. I had heart-wrenching conversations with my cubs, as they held onto the memories of their lost siblings. I assured them that those little boys were now in heaven, watching over us from the stars. 

It took time and many conversations for them to understand that no one else would go to that heavenly place. I showed them the roses and taught them how to cope with loss, how to hold on to the memories, and, most importantly, how to embrace life and find joy once again. 

There was a palpable absence of any communication from the pack, a silence that I neither wanted nor expected to break. Magnum and Murdock, filled with anger towards them, would have surely blocked any attempt from the pack to reach out, making it clear how little they valued them. The atmosphere was charged with tension, their words cutting and unfiltered.

Colin, my personal physician, was always by my side, diligently monitoring and caring for me. Wulfe, now my security, surprised me by holding me in his arms, gently lulling me to sleep. It became an honor for him to provide me with rest. His fury mirrored my own, a novel experience for me. 

Magnum, Murdock, and Dexter took on the responsibility of guiding the younger cubs, teaching them, and serving as male role models. It was heartening to witness their anger, as they didn't resort to using sex as a coping mechanism like the lust creatures within the pack. This newfound approach taught me valuable lessons on how to process emotions and move forward. Instead of seeking solace in physical intimacy, they did the necessary emotional work before moving on. It was a healthier alternative, one that I began to adopt.

Through their support, I learned how to confront and manage my own emotions. Rather than suppressing them, I discovered the power of talking about things out loud. These guys became my pillars, helping me navigate this alternative path of emotional growth. 

My life was meticulously organized, and every detail was carefully planned. As my week began with giving birth, I found myself in a sterile environment, surrounded only by Colin, the trusted caretaker. The air was filled with the scent of antiseptic and the sound of gentle murmurs as Colin attended to the newborn cubs, administering drops, giving them flanks if needed, and examining their fragile bodies. He had quite a few leprechaun stuff to help to bind their powers if needed. I watched as he fed them their first milk, ensuring their nourishment and well-being.

After the birthing of approximately 80-120 cubs, I was moved to the resting room, a tranquil space where I could recover. Colin performed a health check on me before Wulfe arrived with a nourishing meal. I was not sure if there was any extra in my food as the soft bedding beckoned me to sleep, and I would often find solace in a peaceful slumber lasting around five hours.

Upon waking, I would cleanse myself in a refreshing shower and dress for the day. Joining me were my five companions: Colin, Dexter, Magnum, Murdock, and Wulfe, with the possibility of Giselle's presence. We would gather for a meal, enjoying each other's company and nourishing our bodies.

Then, it was time to venture outside and spend time with the older cubs, those who possessed immortality. I would engage with them for a few precious hours before turning my attention to the vulnerable little ones who were not yet immortal and susceptible to infections. Colin had devised protocols to safeguard their well-being, including footbath disinfection, hand sanitization, and a thorough cleaning spell cast by Wulfe to eliminate any germs that may harm my precious, non-immortal cubs.

After feeding and tending to their needs, we would examine the older cubs with a crystal, searching for signs of immortality. If any were found, we would joyfully prepare them for their first taste of the outside world, making room for others in need. Remarkably, I found that I did not require a mate to fulfill my duty and continue the cycle of life. Whether others in the pack had bred was inconsequential to me; their choices were their own, just as mine were mine.

Once the cubs were fed, we would venture outside to spend time with the older ones and engage in conversations with the wise cheetah wizards. Their presence was enchanting, their curiosity urging them to hear the tales of my experiences. The heat and the unforgivable act of rape had ignited a fiery rage within these typically serene creatures.

They stood by my side, ready to defend me, their loyalty unwavering. However, I commanded them to keep their tongues still, not to disclose anything to Damon or the rest of the pack. Despite everything I had endured, the mistreatment by the pack, I still felt the need to protect them. I knew they were not equipped to handle this tragedy, a burden that was mine alone to bear. It had shattered me, and I couldn't bear the thought of breaking my pack as well.

I had no time to ponder about the future as weeks went by. The bustling sounds of my daily tasks filled the air as I tirelessly delivered litter after another. Outside, the vibrant sight of lively happy cubs brought a smile to my face, while the older ones sought safety in the embrace of the magic house. Amidst it all, my five loyal companions remained by my side, their unwavering support invaluable to me.

Through this journey, I learned the importance of seeking support from others, realizing that there was nothing wrong with doing so. It became clear that my pack, once too weak to comprehend the events that had transpired, was unable to offer the support I needed. Perhaps one day, I might disclose the truth to them, but I doubted they would ever be strong enough to understand my loss.

It was a lonely realization, knowing that I lacked support from my husbands, my mates, and even my true soulmates. I would never receive the kind of unwavering support that Mariella and the other princesses had effortlessly received.

However, amidst this solitude, I found solace in an unexpected source. My five had become even more important to me during this hard time. Even Dexter, a mere human, recognized my need for comfort. Despite his knowledge of my abilities and powers, he saw beyond them and acknowledged my vulnerability. It was a revelation, one that the cheetah wizards had always spoken of, yet my pack had ignored. They didn't want to see it. To them, I was almost a goddess, the strongest among them, and they refused to acknowledge the depths of my soul.

So the universe, in its infinite wisdom, granted me my five loyal companions. They, and they alone, saw my true self and provided me with the comfort I longed for. In their presence, I could allow myself to cry, especially during those hormonal moments, as thoughts of my lost cubs weighed heavy on my mind. It was a remarkable bond, defying all expectations. 

I knew that if Pack stumbled upon her, there would be an explosion. They would have no idea what had happened, and they never would. The air crackled with tension as I stood there, the powerful alpha female of my pack. The weight of their ignorance was my burden to bear. They weren't perfect, not by a long shot, but they were my pack. The scent of pine filled the air, mixing with the scent of damp earth after a recent rainfall. As I glanced at my five loyal members, their eyes locked with mine, I knew they would keep their silence. However, Giselle was different. Her fiery temperament and disappointment in Mariella and the pack made her unpredictable. She snapped at the slightest provocation, making it impossible for me to give her orders. I couldn't compel her to stay quiet, but I pleaded with her not to reveal the truth. The uncertainty hung in the air, and only time would reveal if she would honor my request.