Chapter 52
As soon as I was within the safety of the pack walls, I allowed my façade fall and I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. I thought dealing with Ryker would be the hardest part of this ceremony but I did not account for Tyson.
I have done well all these years to keep him at the back of my mind. It's not like I am still hung up over what he did to me. I found my own way to get over and through it but seeing him is like dumping me back in ice cold water with no way to swim.
I had half a mind to call off the entire thing but I knew I couldn't. I wouldn't even allow myself do that simply because of two men. That would be setting the kingdom back by thousands of years. Just because I have a duty though doesn't mean that I want to do it.
"Hey, are you okay?" Christine asked as she walked over to me.
Audrey was walking right next to her and I nodded as I slid down to kneel on the floor and opened my arms out for my daughter. She walked right in and I buried my face in her hair so I could get her perfect scent to calm me down. She allowed me hold her tightly and all she did was wrap her tiny little hands around me.
"That man was mean mommy," she whispered, "Is he going to come back?"
"Yeah he will," I admitted and I saw her smile fall, "He has to be at that ceremony that your grandmother organized. You won't have to see or talk to him though. You are going to sit right next to Christine and grandma."
That seemed to lift her spirits because she squealed and clapped her hands together in barely contained glee. Her happiness was infectious and I found myself smiling alongside her as I finally stood to my feet and kept my hand entwined with hers. She liked the fact that I was holding her hand because she leaned her head against me as we walked back into the castle.
my
Although we had just eaten less than two hours ago, the interaction I just had brought a hollowing feeling in stomach and I just wanted to snack on something. I realized my tendency to stress eat when I was pregnant and Christine gave me a healthy alternative.
-I would snack-on fruits or healthy snacks basically. It didn't give the same high that greasy junk food gave but it was enough to allow me realize that I was actually full and didn't want to eat. I noticed that Audrey had also started picking up the habit and I'm just grateful that it is healthy food and not junk.
As if the maids knew why I was there, they didn't even ask what I wanted to eat, they just brought a bowl of fruits and put in front of Audrey and I. They tried to give Christine one and she politely refused them but settled for stealing from my bowl.
"Was that Tyson?" she whispered after a few minutes of silence and I nodded, "I pictured him different.
"Different how?" I asked and she shrugged.
"Ugly, disgusting, b*dy odor, I thought his bad attitude would bleed into his appearance," she said and I had to hold back my laughter, "Ryker is hotter though."
I rolled my eyes, "I don't care about who is hotter. I want both of them gone as soon as possible."
"Today was a close call," she said with a jerk in Audrey's direction. "I wasn't even paying attention, it wasn't until she mentioned the yelling that I looked and saw what was going on. They're going to find out about her sooner or later."
"I choose later, hopefully twenty years later."
Christine frowned, "If you never give her the chance to know her father, she might hate you forever."
I knew she was right and as I glanced at Audrey who was sitting absentmindedly and shoving fruits in her mouth, I realized that one day, she wouldn't be a child anymore. She will grow up and start asking about her dad. One day I might have to face the reality that my daughter will want to know her father regardless of whatever went on between us.
I knew what I had to do but I couldn't bring it to myself to do it. I would have to meet Ryker and I would have to be cordial with him for her sake. It might have been four years but every single time I think about what I saw him doing, it feels like a hot iron going through my chest.
"I'm not ready," I managed out to Christine, "I'm not ready to have that conversation with him."
She sighed, "That's fine but fate has a cruel sense of humor. It might come when you least expect it."
"Ryker won't see her until the coronation. I will be ready by then."
She smiled ruefully as if she didn't believe me, "If you say so."
She looked like she wanted to say more but at that exact moment, the door to the dining room opened and my mother walked in. She had two guards flanking her as she made her way further into the room.
She paused in front of Audrey and pressed a soft k*ss to her hair. Audrey practically fluttered under the praise and she smiled wide. I saw a smile tug at my mother's l*ps but she quickly smothered it and turned to face me.
"I hear you've had an interesting morning," she drawled with amusement. "How did he get into the palace grounds"
"I think you should ask your guards that, it is their responsibility to watch us after all." I quipped and a sick sense of pride rose beneath her eyes at my response.
"Touché,' she cleared her throat, "We have a meeting with the Alpha's, get ready."
She turned to leave but I was so stunned that a sound came out of my throat. It sounded like a mix between a squeak and a squeal, I thought it sounded like a dying rat but it was enough to get mother's attention as she stopped and turned to me with raised brows.
"What meeting?" I asked and she rolled her eyes as if she was bored.
"It was a last minute arrangement on my part, I will admit. But the Alphas don't seem to know personal boundaries so I pushed up our meeting with them until today."
"All of them aren't even here yet." I scrambled for any reason to not have the meeting and she knew it because she shook her head.
"The coronation is in two weeks, if they aren't here yet then they can wait to see you on the day. Over half of them are here, even if you have only met two."
Without another word, she was out of the dining room and I was left sitting there with my mouth opened. I turned to Christine who offered me a comforting smile and I was suddenly aware of how sick of a sense of humor fate had.
I slowly stood to my feet and I allowed my legs guide themselves to my room where the dress designers were already waiting with one of my dresses. I moved on autopilot as I took a long bath and allowed the maids work on my skin.
I didn't even realize what was happening as my hair was styled in a sort of causal look and I was ushered into the dress. I zoned out completely until someone tapped my shoulders and I realized that they were done and waiting for my stamp of approval or disapproval.
I moved over to the standing mirror and took myself in. My hair was tied up in an elegant half up and half down do, I had very minimal makeup on to appear more casual than business oriented and the dress, it was somehow better than the last time I saw it. I'm sure they had it altered to perfectly frame my b*dy.
The silver of the dress sparkled under the right light and the train looked longer than I remembered but I knew my mother would be in something more dazzling so I was sure to get only a few curious stares. My shoulders were bare and I couldn't help but glance back at my hair. In two weeks, I wouldn't be able to attend any meeting without having to wear a crown.
I smiled at the designers and I saw them all let out a collective sigh of relief. I allowed them lead me downstairs and when I got to the front of the meeting hall, my mother was waiting. She ran her eyes over me and I saw approval dancing beneath her lids.
She was in a dress of blood red but it was encrusted with rubies. It was a ball gown and the train put mine to shame. It was clearly over the top but I don't think she cared. Her l*ps were painted the color of blood and on her head sat a ruby encrusted crown.
I stared at her for a minute and finally, she snapped her fingers and one of the guards came running over holding a clear silver box.
Inside was a small crown made of diamonds and before I could say anything, she placed it on my head. It felt different and I blinked twice before I realized what had happened.
"I thought I'm not allowed to wear crowns until after the coronation."
"You're not allowed to wear the crown for the heir," she corrected. "There is no way I will have you in the midst of all that testosterone without a crown. Now, are you ready?"
I nodded and the door was pushed open.
The first thing I noticed was how the talking ceased. There were at least twenty people in there but somehow, I was drawn to him. I could feel his eyes on me from my left but I was determined not to look or even glance in his direction. I kept my chin high as I walked with my mother towards the head of the table.
She sat down and I sat at her right. I couldn't help but imagine what a contrast we are, blood red and silver. It will make for some amazing stories and rumors.
"I am glad you could all meet us on such short notice, mother began, "Normally, this wouldn't hold until the day before the coronation but certain happenings have made it that the meeting had to be pushed up. Please, take your seats."
They all scrambled to take their seats and I was grateful when it was a random stranger and not Ryker who sat beside me but my gladness quickly faded when Ryker sat opposite me. There was need and love in his eyes and I had to look away to stop him from consuming me but unfortunately, my eyes landed on Tyson.
I felt mother nudge me slightly and I cleared my throat and placed a stoic expression on my face.
"This is my daughter, Camilla," she introduced and all I did was dip my head in a respectful nod, "It has come to my attention that a few of you have wandered into the castle on certain occasions. What for? I don't know. This will serve as my only warning to you, the castle is out of bounds to anyone who is not a member of the royal family or wasn't summoned by a higher ranking royal."
She paused for dramatic effect and stared down all of them, "Anyone found within these castle walls at any given time will be sent home immediately. Your pack will be shunned by the royals and you will have nothing to do with us. That might sound like an empty threat until you realize that we allocate land and resources to every pack."
The room went as silent as a graveyard as everyone realized that she wasn't bluffing. Mother would really do that and I felt my heart warm as I realized that she was doing it for me. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug but I knew this was neither the right place nor time so I settled for gently nudging her knee with mine.
She opened her mouth to speak when the door to the room opened. A part of me already knew what was happening before it happened but I still hoped that I was wrong.
Audrey walked in through the doors and when she saw the many eyes, her thumb instantly flew to her mouth and she looked like she was about to cry. I glanced at my mother who also had a panicked look on her face.
The Alphas had started muttering amongst themselves and that was when Audrey's eyes landed on me. Within a second, she was sprinting across the room and burying her head in my skirts.