Negative Thoughts

"Are you really won't watch Kayla and the others fight?" Sonia asked me who was just thinking of the tournament.

"No. Even if I go there, I won't be able to relax knowing that the cult is coming to attack us. Even if there are no enemy coming today, I can't come to watch the tournament. I'll be too tense to watch the fight and my mind will fly away to this place instead. And if the girls see me that way, it would break their concentration instead. It's best for me to stay here until the tournament is over," I replied to Sonia why I can't and shouldn't stay to watch the tournament. 

And now that we're at war with the cult, but the enemy is not here after we defeated the previous wave, my mind is wandering everywhere.

Why do we have to fight them here?

Why did I think that we can destroy the cult this way?

Why did I think that it's a good idea to not let our strongest mages fight and planned for a tournament? 

How did I came up with the idea?