Pillars

"kana has been assaulted."

mom bursted into tears.

she had that look in her eyes that I couldnt explain.

my stomach turns.

...how did this happend?

...is this is all my fault?

if I just went to pick her up as I promised.

I knew very well how dangerous those streets are at night and yet, instead of protecting her I played around with some girl.

in disbelief I ask,

"..what happend? how?"

after a brief moment of sobbing my mother managed to collect herself.

her face turns as white as the walls of the room and her eyes are red and all swollen from the crying.

"when you didnt show up to pick her up. you texted her that you were in the area so she w-went.."

she started crying again.

"..mom its not your fau-"

"-she called you over and over and you didnt answer! all alone my little girl went looking for you in the dark and t-then some sick guys approached her, luring her into some place and then they ganged up on her!

They raped her! oh my little baby... my poor little baby.."

falling on her knees she bursted into tears again.

this cant be real... this has to be a nightmare.

I'm getting stormed with mixed feelings.

I feel sick.

I feel helplessness.

and I feel boiling anger,

both at myself for not protecting her, and at the disgusting garbage of human beings that did that to her.

because of me... my sister...

I can feel the tears streaming down on my cheeks.

I already know..

this is not something I can fix.

this happened because of my mistake, because of my incompetence.

"...mom what happened to the scum that did that to Kana?"

my mom sobbing stopped for now. she looks up and stares into the eyes.

her eyes are full of hatred.

I have never seen my mom like this.

"...the police are still looking for those sick bastards"

so they didnt even find them yet..

"I'm sorry mom this is all my fault.."

"..no its not. its my fault."

I knew it... she blames herself.

"mom its not your fault, I told her I would pick her up and-"

"and instead you went playing around, harassing girls on the streets!"

mom snaps at me. her face looks confused, her eyes still full of tears.

what is she talking about I never did anything like that.

"mom, what are you talking abou-"

"you know... I was really worried when I heard you got into an accident."

"I got a call this morning from the board members of my job... they said you sexually harassed a reletive of the chairman."

eh.. I never did anything like that.

"mom that's bullshit! I never did anything like that! you know me.."

tears started dropping on my mother face and her face became even more complicated.

"...I tried trusting you, I really did! I told them it had to be some kind of a mistake, but then they sent me proof.. a picture of you molstering the poor terrified girl."

Yuri... April, are you two really planning on going this far?

what did I ever do to you two to deserve this.

"mom please trust me! I was forced to do it, I'm getting bullied by this girl and her friend since the start of the year. I didnt tell you because I didn't wanna bother you with it!"

after a minute of lasting silence mom sighed and stopped looking me in the face.

"....I'm sorry... its all my fault. I know how hard you worked for this family. I put too much responsibility on you and this is the result."

mom words felt as stabs in my heart.

she doesnt believe me.

I finally understand the meaning behind my mother face.

its a face of heartbreak, of someone who got betrayed.

...I have lost my mom's trust.

I can feel the pillars that I have worked so hard to build crumbling.

our family will never be the same again.

"..we will talk later."

after saying that mother stormed out of the room, leaving me completely dumbfounded.

I have to chase after her. I have to convince her that she can still trust me.

I throw the blanket off me, tear of the IV from my right arm resulting in stinging pain and push the myself off the bed.

the next thing I know, my forehead hits the hard floor with a boom.

...weird, perhaps there is something wrong with my legs.

glancing back I dont see any problem in my legs.

infact I cant even see my legs at all.

everything bellow my knees is gone and my knees are wrapped in bandages.

the room starts spinning around and I hear a scream coming out of my mouth before fainting from the shock.

the next thing I see is the doctor shaking me, apparently I was found passed by one of the nurses.

the doctor starts explaining my situation to me but I didnt listen.

...what am I gonna do now.

I feel empty, the tears wont even come out.

what was even the point of everything until now.

my legs are gone... I probably wont run ever again.

my mother no longer trusts me...

my Kana...

thats right... I still have Kana! there is no way she will betray me.

I have to reach her somehow.

I turn to the doctor who up until now kept rumbling about my mental health and prosthetics.

"...do you know where is my sister's room?"

"of course I do, she is in room 324 which is one floor

above our floor. however due to her state for the time being she cant receive any visits."

"...I see."

"...I understand how you must feel but..."

even if you say that... I still have to go.

______________________

since I dont have my phone with me I'm not sure what is the exact hour right now but with the low activity and the lights off I'm pretty sure that its currently night.

the bob cut nurse which I think is called Minerva just walked out of the room after checking up on the paitents.

this is exactly what I have waited for.

after a minute of waiting I quietly throw my pillow on the floor and carefully lower myself towards it.

the floor is hard and cold, even with me being careful I still cant help it and my legs crash on the pillow...

even with the pillow it still hurts like shit.

after a bit of painful crawling I finally arrive at the entrance.

peeking outside I find a long dark corridor.

its completely devoid of anything alive, as if its trying to tell me that I'm not suppose to be here.

determined I keep crawling.

the floor is stone cold and my arms are starting to hurt, especially my right arm where I tore off the IV.

still I don't have a lot of time before one of the nurses finds out that I'm missing.

at best I have around 15 more minutes.

no good... I fasten my pace and keep going.

every push is painful and before long both my arms and legs starts to bleed.

after what was probably around 3 minutes and felt like an hour I arrive at the double staircase which heads to the floor above.

where staircases always this tall? it seems truly endless..

I put both of my arms on the first stair and slowly push myself up.

I miraculously manage to keep that going up until the middle of the second staircase.

my arms which somehow kept up untill now, finally give in.

..my arms are screaming... they are full of bruises and cuts.

my legs are in a much worse state.

the bandages around my legs are dyed red and I can feel intense pain and tingling from my knees as well as from the missing areas.

just a few more stairs... I bite my tongue and grab the next stair...

________________________

after the longest fifteen minutes of my life I manage to reach the entrance of my sisters room.

its different from mine it seems like its a one person sized room.

I hear some noises from far away... I guess I was found out.

I need to hurry.

I glance into the dark room and I almost immediately notice a person sitting, crawled up into a ball shape on the bed...

"Kana..?"

the person's head lifts and looks my way.

even though its dark I can straight up tell that its Kana.

"onii chan? what are you doing here... why are you on the floor?"

does she not know about the accident?

no.. that doesnt matter right now... I have to help her.

"dont mind me I'm just a little tired from coming all the way here haha.."

"...onii chan I w-was looking for you everywhere.. where were you?"

she is still worried about me even after everything she went through? I cant help but feel relieved.

lets not say anything about my accident I dont want to worry her needlessly..

even tho its dark and my entire body is crying in pain I cant help but grow a worried smile on my face and try to sound as confident and caring as I can.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry my cute Kana.. I'm sorry I made you worried... I promise everything will be fine."

"onii chan what are you talking about? all I did was walk around a little bit while looking for you.. I'm a big girl after all.."

eh..? I'm sure mother told me she got assaulted.

taking another look at Kana I still cant quite make out her expression but I can tell something is off.

"oh right.. I met some of your friends. t-they took me to some place saying you were there.. a-and then they took off my clothes and started doing weird things to me.. they said it was all your fault"

getting used to the dark I can make out Kana's face.

its completely blank, devoid of any emotions.

uurgph!

I couldnt hold it in any more and puke flew all over the floor.

my friends? I don't have any friends.

...then that has to be April.

just how much of a sick monster is she.. to go this far for what?.

...she need to pay for her sins.

but right now I have to let Kana know that she is not alone.

I gather all of my left strength and starts crawling towards her bed.

"STOP!"

suddenly she screamed, crawling back into a ball and then she started sobbing and mumbling quietly.

shocked I stop at place. I couldnt do anything but listen.

"..dont come any closer!"

"..dont touch me there.."

"..its all your fault onii chan.."

I couldnt do anything but lay on the floor, completely stunned, tearing up, unable to do anything for her...

feeling useless, feeling weak..

together with Kana's scream came the nurses.. two of them run straight to Kana trying to relax her.

the other three grabed me up and took me away.

I struggled as hard as I could but it was no use.

the last thing I saw was a flash of my sister horrified crying face.