Chapter 116

Violet

Alone.

It’s an emotion I’ve felt for years, but it’s never consumed me until this moment. Fact is, even when I’ve felt alone in this home, I’ve been here with Brent, and the loneliness was figurative, not literal.

This afternoon it’s literal. The clock on the wall ticks loudly in the silence. He’s not sitting in his favorite recliner, watching some game on TV, drinking a beer, and smugly asking me when lunch will be served. I don’t have to stand at the stove with my back to him, every retort running through my head to the foulness he speaks. My back doesn’t have to stiffen when I hear him get up and feel him come behind me. I don’t have to cringe as he touches me, pretend to enjoy the way his hands caress my body. Never again will I have to zone out as he finds pleasure in an act I haven’t found pleasurable for years.

But the silence - the being alone –gets to me.