Flashback XIII

Leonard lays in bed, spooning a beautiful blonde woman. There's some rustling and he slowly opens his eyes and smiles lazily as the image of Penny smiling back in his arms under the covers comes into focus.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Penny says with a smile as she leans in and kisses him heatedly. "Mmm-hmm, that's a nice way to wake up," he tells her, his voice still heavy with sleep.

"I know of a better one," she smirks and dives underneath the covers, Leonard's face goes from sleepy to shocked to contented in mere moments. When Penny is done, she comes up and wipes her lips clean, then tells him, "You better get up, and have breakfast, your mom is handing over Princeton University today to you."

"Why is she doing that?" He asks confused because he never worked at Princeton. "Because Dr. Two-Time Nobel Prize winner," Penny smiles indulgently, "you are the most

qualified to lead the school and she's proud of you for that, your mom said so in her retirement

announcement earlier this year. I'm proud of you, the kids are too," she explained.

A loud buzzer goes off over the prison speakers signalling the switch from the night guards to the day guards, and Leonard jolts awake. Cold reality washes over him like the prison's showers—it's only four in the morning and the sun isn't even up yet, he's in a metal bunk bed with an itchy wool blanket, his cellmate is definitely not someone he wants sucking his dick, and the reason he knows that that was a dream was there was no scenario on Earth which would cause his mother to publicly announce she was proud of him; if at all.

***

He goes through morning roll call, and because of the dream can't wait to get into the shower—he needs a cold one. He's in a prison work program where he spends the day doing laundry for $0.40. He guesses that the cliché about college graduates earning more is true, he spent $615,000 on an undergraduate and doctoral degree from an Ivy League school and got to be one of the highest paid launders in the Federal Bureau of Prisons because of it—he felt so special. That was such a joke, he went from making $365.96/day for eight hours of work to making $5.80/day for 12 hours of work. Fuck his life. After his collection was auctioned off, he asked to have 15 percent of his prison pay to go toward his massive fine and while he knows even if he ends up serving the full 26-year term, all that would take off is a mere $2,835.60—every bit helps—at that rate, it'd take him 3,568 years to pay the rest of his massive fine.

***

After lunch, he is called into the visitor's holding area, there he sees his mother and an older gentleman he doesn't recognise. The guard leads him over to her table, he sits opposite her. Several minutes pass with mother and son just staring at each other before Beverly breaks the silence.

"How have you been, Leonard?"

Leonard mentally rolls his eyes, "I'm in prison, what do you think, mother?" Beverly sighs placing her clasped hands in front of her, "And whose fault is that?"

Leonard groans loudly, even in prison he can't escape his mother's disapproval. "What do you want?"

Beverly straightens up, "Well, I would like to know, first and foremost how you are doing." He sighed, "I'm fine, all things considering," he finally conceded.

"Good…" Beverly said slowly, "Did you get the reading materials I sent you?" He nodded. "Well?"

"It was insightful but I fail to see how any of it helps me, I'm in prison not timeout." Leonard groused.

"What did you take away from it?" His mother asked.

"The gist of it being I lack motivation to do anything because I was apparently so far up my own ass."

"What else?" Beverly said stoically but inside was giggling that her son was finally admitting a harsh truth.

He sighed, tired of his mother trying to make him feel guilty for living his own life way below his mother's standards, "Look, even if you gave me that book and that dissertation as a form of self- help, it doesn't do me any good because again news flash I'm in prison!"

Beverly sighed, "Then you missed the point entirely. I know you've probably compared yourself to Lieutenant Cooper on several occasions, possibly even wanting to switch places with him because of what he has and you don't, however, this is where you and he differ; when things got rough for him he never quit, you meanwhile retreat at the slightest provocation. He lost his father and in order to address his biggest flaws—his social skills—he left the one thing that he found most comfort in and jumped into something he did not know, did not like, but still attacked it with the same concentrated focus that made him the youngest ever Stevenson Award winner; all because he wanted to be closer to the man he wanted to get to know better. You, meanwhile, have coasted around every challenge brought before you by never putting in an honest day's work. I know because if you did, you'd be in line for tenure, book deals, speaking engagements, and even a Nobel. But how you got your Lead Experimental Physicist position and have kept it despite sub- par work until the elevator indictment is beyond me."

He rolls his eyes, visibly this time, "Did you really come all the way from New Jersey to tell me I suck?"

"No Leonard, while the punitive judicial system has its flaws, it doesn't punish unjustly; I had hoped that beyond admitting a key flaw you finally noticed about yourself, you would have worked on improving yourself, but I guess I was wrong. You always have a smart-alecky remark or excuse for not doing anything worthwhile that is why you are in here in the first place."

Leonard starts to stand, "I don't have to take this—"

"Sit down," Beverly says sternly and points to his vacated seat; he gulps, then follows without question. Once he sits, she begins again, "I was not blind to your attempts at making friends or your attempts at attracting the opposite sex growing up, but let me share something with you, Mr. I-

Want-People-To-Like-Me-For-Me, the who you are has been given every opportunity to succeed in life, I sent you to the best schools in the country, I let you pursue your interests, I have kept you safe, dealt with your bullies, addressed your physical limitations and yet, all I get from you is

negativity. You never learned to properly socialise, you never learned how to accept and use criticism as a building block for personal growth."

"Can you honestly blame me? Growing up I had no positive reinforcement from anybody. As a child, I built a hugging machine to experience what that felt like. I went to Princeton because that was your alma mater, I had designs on Harvard and got in. I—"

"For the love of God," Beverly interrupted, and put her head in her hand exasperated, she picked it up and told him, "For the last time, I am not a mind reader, I am a psychiatrist; unless you tell me your problem I can't diagnose it and offer you a solution. In life you can say no, but if you just accept it how on Earth am I or anybody else going to know what you really want?"

"You were the reason I did everything I did growing up. I was waiting for that mother-son bonding moment but all I got from you or dad was apathy."

Beverly laughed mirthlessly, "You wanted recognition for following me when all you've done to that point was complete school? I'm sorry Leonard, but Mandy graduated first from Johns Hopkins Medical School and she didn't get a party—you know what she did, went backpacking with friends through Europe before starting her residency at MassGen. Michael graduated first from Columbia Law, clerked for Justice Ginsberg, and then went on a two-week party binge in Las Vegas with his law buddies before starting work at Lloyd West. You, graduated in the top three percent from Princeton with a doctorate in Physics, then moved out to California into a one-bedroom apartment and immediately started work at Caltech," she shrugged. "All of my children had their way of letting off steam but you are all adults so I let you live your life; I ask you again, how in the hell was I supposed to know that you moving cross country was a cry for help?"

Leonard scoffed, "Then what kind of psychiatrist are you?"

Beverly blew out a breath and pointed at him, "Okay, you know what you little jackass, if you want recognition for things you're supposed to do half-assed go to an elementary school sports day, genuine recognition is for exemplary acts and/or deeds. Your sister is on the verge of practically curing diabetes, and has a husband and four children; your brother is one of only 93 US Attorneys, is now married and is about to be a father, and has a real shot at being a federal court judge or Supreme Court Justice one day. But you, what have you done? It doesn't even have to be work-related. Prior to prison you lived in a one-bedroom apartment, had one fuck buddy, and two somewhat acquaintances—I would not call people who you only see on weekends and at work, friends. You produced nothing of note at work; not one paper, book or interview; you hadn't even won a single departmental award—those are the academic equivalent of a participation award— everybody gets one, except you, I guess."

Leonard sighed, "Look I'm tired of this. I'm sorry I never did anything that met your exceedingly high standards, but you know what I wanted from you? A word or sign that you love or care for me and even now I hear nothing."

Beverly shook her head in disappointment, even after reading about and living next to someone he should emulate—that is someone who tries something new and unexpected—her youngest son is still as hardheaded and unwilling to try even with her, and is still as defensive as ever. "Let me tell you something you self-important, little piece of you know what, if I didn't want you, if I didn't love you, I would've gone with your father's suggestion and gotten that damn abortion. We already had Amanda and Michael, and we used protection, but you were in that two percent that according to statistics and life that show that shit happens. Your father said it was a broken condom so we don't need to keep it, but when I looked at Mandy and Michael and when I told them the news, they excitedly asked boy or girl; then started to argue over who would help out with the new baby

more. Sure, they were still little so what did they know, but I couldn't go through with it after that. I raised you exactly as I raised them. We have a good relationship it's just you that seems to have a problem; you're pretty smart—although given where you are now I have my doubts—but even you can find the common denominator in that equation."

Leonard was gobsmacked, his mother never cursed—as far as he knew—but what floored him wasn't her cursing or her criticisms of him—he heard the latter plenty growing up. It was her revelation that his father, the only one in the family he had any semblance of a relationship with was the one who told his mother to get rid of him. Maybe he'd been directing his anger at the wrong person because his father was the least vocal in the family. He can't process that new information right now so he asked who the man beside his mother was.

Beverly's tone shifted, "This is Toby Jacobs, the family lawyer, I wanted you two to meet because I heard your appeal with the public defender fell through. Toby has represented the family on any number of legal issues as part of Jacobs, Spicer, & Partners. He thinks he may be able to get you a new trial."

"You think you can come in here, say all of that, offer me a fancy lawyer, and suddenly everything is forgiven? Do you honestly think I want or need you to save me?" Leonard huffs, arms crossed defensively.

Beverly composed herself, then narrowed her eyes at him, she saw him flinch before speaking, "You know what, Leonard, rot. I wash my hands clean of you," she mimed a hand-washing motion, "Do whatever you want. I don't know what you need or what you expect from me, but you are a grown man, I'm done trying to make you think critically and see the errors of your ways on your own and become a better person; clearly you aren't. I'm offering you a potential lifeline from this place and you are shunning it. Fine… enjoy prison, Leonard." She stands, "Come on, Toby, we're done here." The man stands too. She looks down at Leonard, "This will be the last time you see me, so I'm glad you're doing well, all things considered."

Leonard looks confused, "Wait, what the hell, aren't you being a little too dramatic?" He whines.

"Classical drama is often represented by the comedy/tragedy masks, and your part in my life is all the tragedy I can take."

"So that's it? You're done with me?" He huffed, "That's a bit hypocritical of you, isn't it? What about being a family?" Crossing his arms defensively.

Beverly snorted derisively, "You haven't been part of the family for seven years, you've declined every invite to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. Tell me can you even recall the names of your nephews?" She added as an afterthought, "So I'm done, I won't be your emotional punching bag anymore. I raised you, kept you safe, educated you, gave you every opportunity imaginable to succeed, and all I hear is negativity. You are the only person I know who thinks everyone else is the problem without inward reflection and any attempt at significant and tangible change. I heard that the prosecutors referred to you during closing statements as a little emperor, and frankly, they were spot-on. I'm sorry, I ever offended you and your sensibilities, your Majesty," Beverly said sarcastically and stepped away from her seat and gave him a faux little curtsy. "Goodbye, Leonard." She left and Toby just shrugged in his direction.

Once his mother left he sat there until a guard came and got him, his pride wouldn't let him admit he was worse off than a bum on Skid Row—at least those bums had a reason for being homeless and miserable—his mother was right he was given every opportunity and made a hash of all of them. He never learned how to socialise; he was either too nerdy for the few street kids Millburn had or too poor for the preppy kids so he never found his place. He never had to endure tragedy so

he took his family for granted, well now he lost the one person who showed any real interest in him—in her own sadistic way. He wondered if she was literal or just giving up on this occasion, only time will tell. As the guard led him out into the yard for some fresh air, he felt as if he was missing something but he didn't know what. He was in the yard when he saw his mother get in her car with the lawyer and drive away, he realised then what he was missing—his mother.

Penny walked into the lobby holding Charlotte by the hand and saw a crew working on the elevator. About damn time, she thought. She continued toward the stairs with her daughter; it was late so they were probably just dropping off materials for tomorrow and however long that'll take.

"Come on, honey," Penny told her two-year-old.

"Mommy, that man looks like Uncle Eric," Charlotte points.

"It's rude to point," Penny told her daughter, and mentally scolded herself for sounding like her own mother; but she looked up and indeed it was "Uncle" Eric. "Eric, what are you doing here?"

The man looked up at his name being called and smiled. "Hey Penny," he waves to Charlotte, "Hi Charlie," he sees the little girl smile and waves back, then he readdresses Penny, "The DoJ and DoD finally processed the property damage totals from the trial, and because of the six-figure sum the Treasury got for auctioning off Hofstadter's seized property, a portion has been set aside to replace the elevator; but because it still contains government property, and since Sheldon brought me out here in the first place, the DoD thought it'd be only right for me to be the one to finish it."

"So how long before I get to use the elevator?"

Eric shrugged, "That's not USACE's job. We're only here to remove the elevator and clean it of any chemical residue. That's up to the landlord and his contractor. I should be out of your hair in about three days. After that, who knows."

Penny chuckled, "After you're done, if you aren't in a hurry I'm sure Sheldon would like to catch up," she checks her phone, "he should be home in about 20 minutes, he hasn't called me yet so he should be right behind me."

Eric smiles, "Sure, I got some time. I got nowhere to go until this is over anyway. I'll probably catch Sheldon when he comes in."

Penny smiles, "Okay, well have a good night, Eric, I'll probably see you later. Don't work too hard," she jokes, as she and Charlotte turn up the second flight of stairs.

"Who was that, Sergeant? She's hot."

Eric chuckles, "That was Marine Corps Second Lieutenant Sheldon Cooper's wife and daughter. I would steer clear of him, Corporal, that man is like a sleeping giant; seemingly harmless when you meet him but piss him off and he won't hesitate to kick your ass. I saw that first-hand while providing logistics support for coalition forces in Fallujah. Plus, he's a Medal of Honor recipient. And aside from that already highly decorated. Definitely not a man to trifle with."

"Wait," the unnamed Corporal said shocked, "The Sheldon Cooper? As in the dude who saved Atwater's platoon, saved an innocent Iraqi boy, killed six insurgents, and defused a homemade bomb in less than two minutes? That Sheldon Cooper?"

Eric nods, "The one and only."

"Damnnn… I did not know Lieutenant Cooper's wife looked like that, I'm a married man, so I have no interest in her but wow… I gotta say the man has excellent taste. Plus, I respect the man, he single-handedly saved more than 30 lives that day. I mean Atwater hasn't shut up about it," he grins then gets back to work.

Eric laughs and then looks around at their progress, the area is cordoned off, the heavy machinery was moved in, and the residents all have construction notices in their mailboxes, "You know what, I think we're done for today, head back to the house and we'll pick this up tomorrow at 0700."

Ten minutes after the USACE unit left, Sheldon came in and saw Eric in the lobby. He smiled at his friend, "Penny texted me that you were in the lobby, if you're finished, come on up."

***

They make it into 4A and Sheldon tells Eric to make himself comfortable and if he wanted anything to drink.

"I'll take whatever juice you have or a Gatorade."

Sheldon nods and goes over to the fridge and takes out two orange Gatorades, handing his friend one. Taking his seat, he tells the man across from him, "Hey congrats on making Sergeant."

The tall man smiles, takes a sip of his sports drink and replies, "Thanks, congrats on the commission and the MoH. You know Atwater's still telling anybody who would listen your story?" He chuckles.

Sheldon smiles, "I didn't just do it for him or the platoon, I did it for me too, if I hadn't I wouldn't have Penny and all of this," he gestures around the room.

"I can understand that. Oh, before I forget, Jenny sends her love, she had a great time at Charlie's birthday. We both did."

Sheldon waved him off, "It was the least I could do, you let me cash in that favour for the elevator."

"Speaking of that, you know that neighbour of yours in 4B—the engineer—after the physicist was arrested?" Eric asked, Sheldon nodded, "Bill Carpenter told me after we were having lunch a few weeks ago that he's on the shortlist for the next ISS mission."

"Howard? Howard Wolowitz? Short guy, bowl haircut, dresses kinda like a character from

Saturday Night Fever?" Sheldon asked disbelievingly. "Yep. Payload specialist." Eric confirmed.

"Really?" Sheldon asked, and Eric nodded. "Give me a minute, would you?"

Sheldon walked out of 4A and over to 4B and knocked. A few seconds later Howard answered surprised to see his neighbour at his door, "Hey, what's up?"

"Busy?"

Howard shook his head, "No, but I was just about to get ready for bed." Sheldon nodded, "Come over, I think there's something you need to hear."

"Uh… okay," Howard agreed somewhat confused, but he followed Sheldon over to 4A. He was

also somewhat surprised to see the man he met at Charlotte's birthday party already there. "Eric, tell Howard what you told me, I think he'll get a kick out of it." Sheldon chuckled. Eric chuckled too, "All right. Well, let me put it like this, do you like sunsets?"

Howard was even more confused, "Uh, I guess," he shrugged.

Eric smiled, "So how do you feel about watching the sunset every 90 minutes?"

"Wait, wh… what?" Then it dawned on him, he staggered backwards, "Holy frak, are you telling me NASA's gonna make me an astronaut because of my idea?"

Eric chuckled again, "I don't know if they're gonna, but you are on the shortlist. I had lunch with Bill Carpenter, he's director of specialised personnel and a good friend of mine, and he mentioned your name, it was the only one I recognised because I met you at Charlie's birthday."

"Holy frak," Howard said again having taken a seat now, "When will I know, do you know?" "Sorry bud, I work for the Army Corps of Engineers, not NASA."

Howard let out a breath, "Okay, well," he chuckles, "No way I'm sleepin' now."

"By the way, what was your idea that got NASA's attention?" Sheldon asked from his seat.

Howard blushed, "Umm, well, it's called the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System, along with a deep field space telescope."

"A space toilet?" Sheldon asked amused. Howard nodded sheepishly. "Does it actually work?" "It does."

"Even in a zero gravity, airless environment? Where it will be installed?" Eric asked. "I'm not sure," Howard admitted.

"If you want, I can look over your design for you—off hours obviously—and maybe get Bill to agree to a dry trial run in one of the 747s NASA uses to train astronauts; if he sees that you are serious about your invention working it might solidify your spot on the next mission," Eric suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'll let you drive the Mars rover if you want." Howard offers.

Eric laughs, "I bet that line goes over real nice with the ladies, huh? Yeah, you wanna try out my ride, it's on Mars."

Howard laughs, "No, I never tried that, although in hindsight that would've been a pretty nice pickup line."

Penny comes out from the hallway, "What's everyone laughing about?"

"We're just laughing over Howard's space toilet—you know toilet humour," Sheldon tells Penny as she sits next to him.

Penny does a tabletop rimshot. "Very funny, honey."

"I wasn't trying to make a joke, it's true, besides Howard might have a chance to fly to the International Space Station, if selected."

Penny smiles at their neighbour, "That's so cool. Hey, if you do can I get an exclusive for Dave?" "David Letterman?"

"The one and only," Penny confirmed.

"I thought you worked for ABC?" Howard asked.

"Keyword being worked, CBS hired me as Assistant Director for Late Night because their long- time one retired."

"When was this?" His voice was curious.

"Um," Penny looked at Sheldon, "You got your official call-up notice for Afghanistan when… Halloween?" Sheldon nodded. "The day after," she told Howard.

"Nice, so were you responsible for getting Alicia on Dave a few days ago?"

Penny blushed, "Yeah, but her new show on CBS is a real hit. Who would've thought a show about nerds would be so popular?"

Howard chuckled, "I thought you knew, smart is the new sexy." Penny laughed, "Oh sweetie, I knew that the second I met Sheldon."

Flashback

June 23, 2007

Penny paced in the bridal room in the First Baptist Church in Galveston, Texas. It was finally here, her wedding day. Her husband-to-be was just outside those doors and down that aisle. Their family and friends and any number of well-wishers had come to celebrate this day that almost a year ago she thought would never happen. When she was maid of honour at Val and Michael's wedding in Omaha just before he and Sheldon went off to Iraq, she never thought she would experience the joy of being a bride; then Sheldon proposed with help from Val, Sam, and the Pep Band.

There was a knock on the door, "Come in."

Val came in dressed in a champagne-coloured, long, sleeveless dress featuring a beautiful halter bodice with pin pleats, a satin waistband that creates a flattering look, a full-length A-line skirt, and a lace-up corset back. Penny had decided all the women in the wedding party would be in sleeveless dresses because it was Texas in the summer and she didn't want anybody in anything elaborate. Penny herself was in a strapless Ambrose Asymmetric Draped Gown in ivory by designer Tadashi Shoji, it was modern and romantic, the gown combined a structured flat satin jacquard bodice with an airy tulle skirt. She had swept her hair back to showcase the asymmetric draped top, and had a simple veil on. Val's smile settles Penny's nerves somewhat, Penny wasn't nervous about marrying Sheldon—that was one thing she knew with absolute certainty she'd never regret—it was the sheer mass of people who showed up. Michael and Val's wedding was pretty intimate, with only family and close friends so about 100 people showed up and that was including guests, hers was going to be more than twice that. It was the actual planning of the ceremony that Penny was glad she was marrying into a military family. Her mom had married her dad after he

came back from Korea so she knew about the basics of a military wedding, but Mary and Meemaw, Sheldon's mom and grandmother both married Marines so they knew what Penny was getting herself into. Their wealth of knowledge not only of the wedding but what to expect since according to Meemaw, Sheldon was so much like his granddaddy was invaluable. It was going to be a full military wedding—just like Michael and Val's—except for the officiator and the location. Michael and Val were married by the same minister who baptised him in their hometown of Omaha. Since Penny and Sheldon weren't overly religious they opted to have a Navy chaplain officiate but in the same church Sheldon had been baptised in to appease Mary's shock of not having Pastor Dave—although Penny invited him to the wedding since they were using his church. She grew closer to Sheldon's side during the past year, both worrying about him and planning the wedding.

"Why so nervous? Cold feet?" Val asked knowing that definitely wasn't the case. It took her years to know that Michael was the one for her, Penny somehow knew the second she laid eyes on the tall Marine with blue eyes. She never saw another more perfectly matched couple.

Penny shook her head, "No, intimidated. There are a couple of three-star generals out there, his side looks like it is ready for war."

"That's what makes military weddings so much fun, it's a commitment to each other and service." Valerie tells her best friend sagely.

Penny takes a breath, "True."

"And come on, Penny I know you love the guy because ever since last July, me and the rest of the dorm hall had to put up with you on an all-Mariah Carey love song kick. I didn't know the lyrics to 'We Belong Together' and 'Always Be My Baby' when September started but I know them by heart now," Val grinned. Penny laughed.

Another knock sounded on the door, "Come in," Penny called.

Wyatt stuck his head in and smiled, then stepped in and closed the door. "Val, it's five minutes until we start you should go take your place. I want to talk to my daughter."

"Sure thing, Mr. Teller." Val smiles and leaves.

Wyatt looks at his little girl and is completely stunned, only 22 but she looks so grown up. "You look beautiful, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you, Penny. I know parents aren't supposed to have favourites but you are definitely mine. You filled in for your brother just to make me happy, you helped me around the farm more than Lisa or Randy ever did, you met and fell for a good and honourable man—a military man—you just grew up before I realised it. You are the only one to get a degree from UNL with honours no less… I just, can't believe the little girl who used to chase calves with a lasso grew into such a beautiful and strong woman. Honey, you are a real Wonder Woman, Sheldon is a lucky man, and I wish you all the love and happiness I found with your mother."

Penny wiped away an unshed tear, she was wearing no-run makeup but she knew she was liable to start bawling any second if she didn't keep her emotions in check. "Dad stop, my make-up," she chuckled, fanning her face.

Wyatt chuckled, then stepped closer and kissed Penny's forehead softly before stepping back, "Okay sweetie, ready to get married, Slugger?" Offering his daughter his arm.

Penny pulls down her veil, took a breath, looped her arm through her father's, stood straight and

told her father simply, "Yes."

They walked out of the bridal room and took their place at the end of the long train of groomsmen in dress blue uniforms and bridesmaids in white strapless dresses, except for Valerie who was in champagne which extended outside of the church.

The inside of the church had the American flag displayed vertically on Penny's side and the Marine Corps flag displayed vertically on Sheldon's, because the church's floor was already carpeted red they used a blue carpet for the aisle and white adornments for the pews along the aisle.

The doors to the inside of the church opened and they heard the first notes of "From This Moment On," by Shania Twain feat. Bryan White. Penny had chosen the song to walk down the aisle to, much to the chagrin of both her mother and Sheldon's mother. But she told them the song perfectly encapsulated their emotions—especially hers—because this was a moment she thought would never happen after hearing about Sheldon's injury, she loves him and she is prepared to love him until her last breath from the moment she says, "I do". So yes, she thought it fit her and Sheldon better than "Here Comes the Bride". They timed it so that Penny would make it to Sheldon standing by the altar by the instrumental break—that took a lot of practice.

When Penny saw Sheldon standing at the altar in his dress blues and all of his medals on display, honestly, she got a little wet. Her man has always looked really good in his dress blues, but the way he was smiling back at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his, made her feel special.

When she and her father made it to the altar, the chaplain asked, "Who presents this woman to this man?"

Susan had taken her place on the other side of Penny as Wyatt said, "Her mother and I." He then placed Penny's hand in Sheldon's white-gloved one, before shaking his soon-to-be-son-in-law's other hand and sitting down with Susan.

Penny smiled at Sheldon through her veil and together they turned toward the chaplain.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today, to join this man, Staff Sergeant Sheldon Lee Cooper and this woman Penelope Quinn Teller in holy matrimony…" the chaplain began.

It was a fairly short ceremony, but that was fine with Penny she wanted to get to the honeymoon already. The chaplain talked about love and commitment to each other and service. Then asked for the couples' vows.

Because they wrote their own, Sheldon went first, he cleared his throat and began, "Penny, I am from this day forward, yours. You, my beloved, own my mind, body, and soul. I will do anything it takes to ensure your happiness, I will defend your right to live free and love until my last breath.

My dearest, I can't imagine my life without you. From this day forward, I vow to be your partner in every sense of the word. I'll be your confidant, your supporter, and your rock. I'll be your loving husband, your best friend, and your soulmate for all the days of my life."

Penny wiped a tear from her eye before she cleared her throat and began to speak, "Sheldon, I cannot express how much I truly believe my life started the day you walked into it. You, my dear husband, are everything I need and everything I could want. Brave, righteous, loyal, and a really good kisser," this got a laugh from the crowd, "Today, I stand before you and make these promises: I promise to love you more with each passing day, to support you through all of life's challenges, and to be your partner in every sense of the word. I promise to be your confidant, your best friend, and your soulmate. With you by my side, I know that together we can conquer

anything."

"If there is anyone who believes these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," the chaplain asked. Nobody said anything, nobody would if they really knew the couple. After 10 seconds, the chaplain turned to Sheldon, "Do you Staff Sergeant Sheldon Cooper, take this woman, Penelope Teller to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Sheldon beamed at Penny, "I do." He slipped the ring Michael gave him onto her finger.

The chaplain turned to her, "Do you Penelope Teller, take this man, Staff Sergeant Sheldon Cooper to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Penny smiled and slipped the ring Val gave her onto Sheldon's finger.

"By the power vested in me and by the United States Navy Chaplain Corps, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. and Mrs. Sheldon Cooper. You may now kiss the bride."

Sheldon lifted Penny's veil and she being the "big ol' five" that she claims to be, pulled him down and kissed him passionately in front of everyone to hoots and cheers and applause from the crowd.

When they separated, eight of the groomsmen were instructed by Michael to stand, as the Marine's Hymn began to play. Penny knew what was gonna happen next, the Arch of Swords tradition.

They marched out from the side aisles before forming two lines of four, outside of the church. A sizeable number of guests had already gathered outside to see the festivities.

"Detail, centre face!" Directed Michael to the groomsmen. They turned to face each other outside of the church beneath the stairs.

"Press right, thrust," Michael told them, getting each equidistance to the person to their immediate right.

"Detail, draw… swords," Each drew their swords.

"Parade thrust." Each Marine took a spread leg stance with their left hand behind their back and the swords down but at the ready. There was about a 20-second lull before the main doors to the church opened revealing the bride and groom with Penny on Sheldon's right.

"Detail, a-ten hut," the Marines stood to attention, "present swords." They raised their swords over creating an arch. Penny and Sheldon walked down the steps and past the first three arches without hindrance, the last dropped their swords as was the custom, stopping their progress.

"The price to pay is a kiss," the Marine on Sheldon's side said. The couple kissed to more cheers from the gathering crowd. When they broke apart the last pair of swords lifted, granting them progress. The couple took one step and the Marine on Penny's side, tapped his sword on Penny's behind and called out "Welcome to the Marine Corps, ma'am!" To laughter from the crowd and the couple.

The reception in Houston was just as memorable. The father-daughter dance was to "Butterfly Kisses," by Bob Carlisle, and the mother-son dance was to "You'll Be In My Heart," by Phil Collins. The mother-son dance was interesting because halfway through the song, Sheldon switched from his mother to his Meemaw due to her importance in his life, which made the guests

coo and aww. Penny and Sheldon's first dance together was to "Here and Now," by Luther Vandross, as a sort of continuance of their previous vows.

The best man speech was pretty funny. Michael one-upped Sheldon's best man speech by a long shot with zingers such as, "You've got no idea how much I've been looking forward to today.

After all the time I've been friends with Sheldon, he has at long last admitted that I am the best man," and "The groom and I share a common sense of humour. So if this speech is in any way unfunny, feel free to blame him," and probably his best of the night, "These two are so sickeningly adorable together, you know, always exchanging stolen kisses in public, always holding hands… in fact, watch this, Penny, please put your left hand flat on the table," which she did with a giggle, "Sheldon, please place your hand on top of hers," which he did lovingly. Then Michael told Sheldon, "Enjoy this moment Sheldon because it's the first and last time in your marriage that you'll have the upper hand."

Sheldon and Penny cut the cake with Sheldon's sword as tradition. After the guests had enough to eat, and drink—except those who chose not to—Sheldon took off Penny's garter to "Whatta Man," by Salt n Pepa to laughter and hoots and hollers from the crowd. Gunner Neuheuser caught the garter, which made everyone laugh because his girlfriend had been telling the table they were seated at to keep September 23 free. The bouquet was caught by Penny's friend Samantha, which made the guests laugh because Sam wasn't even trying to catch it.

Penny and Sheldon danced the night away, the pair were their own most frequent partner but throughout the night, Penny danced with Michael, her father, Gunner, Eric Mueller, and Sheldon's brother George. Sheldon meanwhile split time between Valerie, Sam, Susan, his mother and grandmother, and even Penny's sister Lisa.

When the reception wound down, and most of the guests were leaving, Penny and Sheldon thanked them one final time before they bid the rest of the guests a good night and went up to the presidential suite to final well wishes.

Once inside the suite, Penny attacked Sheldon's lips, "God, you look so hot in that uniform…" she breathed running her hands up and down his uniform when they broke for air, "but I want you out of uniform, husband, I have big plans for you tonight and the rest of the honeymoon, Staff Sergeant."

Sheldon smirked, "Oh?"

Penny nodded, "I know that you know how to use an M40, let's see if you can give me 40 Os," she grins.

"Challenge accepted. When I'm done with you you won't be able to walk, dearest." Penny smirks, "I look forward to it, now strip."