Chapter 35: Roflstomp

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-/-

After receiving his first badge, the Stinky Hobo had upped his financial status from destitute homeless person, to financially well-off homeless person. The biggest benefit of the newly gained status was not the ability to stay for free at any Pokecenter, since upon trying once the Stinky Hobo was kicked out due to scaring everyone's Pokemon away, but the slight discount one got in the Pokemart. This meant that after a bit of saving the Stinky Hobo was able to purchase himself a new non-leaky tent and some new clothes.

Newly equipped thus with about 10% of his basic needs met the Stinky Hobo realised that if the first badge challenge had been as easy as this, then he might with some effort manage the second badge challenge as well. Considering the stipend was supposed to sustain a human and their Pokemon, a second badge might actually be enough for him to stop being a Hobo and become just Stinky.

Thus began a journey through Mount Moon which was more than anything made special by how little occurred. While most Pokemon in the wild certainly were not violent towards humans, one must say that when going through dangerous areas such as Viridian forest or Mount Moon, being a natural repellent ends up being quite useful.

It is then after entering Cerulean that the second badge challenge commences. Arriving at the gym and this time not being sent away initially due to poor hygiene and his state of clothing the Stinky Hobo was given a task that was slightly more complicated than the last, but not unfeasible.

I would like to go on a short tangent here to showcase one curiosity that I discovered during my travels and that was reaffirmed from my discussions with the Stinky Hobo. That is how the dependent human economy is on Pokémon habitat.

Different cities which have different types of Pokemon living around them can more cheaply offer certain services that are related to this distribution. For example in Pewter where rock-type Pokemon tumble down from Mount Moon like rain out of a cloud, it is relatively easy and cheap to buy a house of at least the basic variety. After all, a rock-type Pokemon capable of erecting stone pillars and walls can create a shabby structure in less than a week if they are so inclined. It is after one's standards rise higher that a ground-up human construction is necessary as rock-type Pokemon become useful only for the foundation digging and the production of the material.

Similarly to this is the situation in Cinnabar, where energy is cheap due to the prevalence of fire-type Pokemon which can generate Steam and through some engineering, electricity.

Tying this back into the tale currently unravelling however one can note when going into Cerulean how clean of a city it is. This is because of the water-type Pokemon which are often caught at the coast. Water-type Pokemon are a blessing for any clean society because their highly pressurised jets of water can clean any street in less than an hour as long as there is a canalization system available to divert the liquid to where it can do no harm.

The Hobo's gym task was in a way related to this prevalence of cleaning-based services because while cleaning was easily available, there was a certain type of cleaning that necessitated a trainer to first be present.

In this case, it was the clearing out of a stable of Ponyta which had recently been claimed by a Grimer who was enjoying the manure rather than letting the farm hands pay someone with a water type to remove it.

Here I admit to having been a bit confused because on second thought one Pokemon that should naturally synergize with the Stinky Hobo is the Grimer line which is characterised by the fact that they smell so much some people refuse to train them at all.

However, contrary to expectations whatever smell, or aura, the Stinky Hobo emits went underappreciated even by the Grimer at the stables who promptly sludged away never to be seen again. This just left the Stinky Hobo with the unenviable task of, for lack of a water type, cleaning out the manure by hand. After two days of backbreaking labour during which the Ponyta were stabled elsewhere, the task was complete and in addition to smelling badly to Pokemon the Stinky Hobo was now also repulsive to humans.

However, a win is a win and while the stench was temporary the badge and its associated stipend would last much longer.

-/-

After Giselle had stepped forward, volunteering herself to be Joey's first victim of the day, the youngster stepped back until he was standing at the edge of the gravely battlefield.

Miss Elvis meanwhile stepped to the side and pulled out two small black sticks from a pocket at her side which she extended into fully functional chequered referee flags. For some reason this made Joey chuckle and for some reason this made Giselle grow red in the face and glare at him.

"You think this is a joke? I'll have you know that, unlike the other ones I have two Pokemon because I scored the highest and the simulated battles," she said angrily.

If Joey remembered correctly the girl hadn't lost any of the arrogance by the time Ash had rolled around in a few years, which indicated that whatever youngster had come here today in his stead, if there had been any, hadn't actually managed to beat the girl. She wouldn't keep that attitude if she'd experienced a significant loss against someone she considered lesser, would she?

Although, someone like her was probably exactly that type of person who would just retroactively justify her loss with having gotten unlucky, or the other person cheating in some way.

"Both trainers ready?" Miss Elvis asked, at which Joey and Giselle brought out their Pokeballs.

Joey had decided to treat this as practice for the youngster tournament in which he was going to try to reveal as few cards as he could while also not sacrificing any of the efficiency. This meant that the Pokeball he was holding belonged to his starter Rattata.

After both trainers indicated they were ready, Miss Elvis continued on to the next step. "Then release your Pokemon," she started at which Joey simply clicked the release button and Giselle threw her Pokeball high into the air where it released a bright stream of red light, " battle!" Miss Elvis finished after the Rattata and Geodude finished materialising.

Considering that everyone knew he had a Rattata, he'd used his starter in all three of his gym battles, Joey was going to be relying on his starter to sweep the youngsters in a few weeks. Metapod would occasionally be brought in as a first choice instead because of her tanking potential whereas Diglett would remain the trump card. Sure people could look up his trainer history to see that he had one, however, none of his battles with Diglett had been filmed yet which meant that they would know what to expect, or which moves he would know.

There was a bit of a question on how much he should also reveal of Rattata considering that no one had filmed his starter use his now passable Rock Smash, however, Giselle with her Geodude and Cubone would serve as good practice for when he went to Pewter to face Flint so he decided to go all out from the very beginning.

"Quick Attack and Smash," Joey ordered, causing his starter to dig his feet into the ground and shoot forward while engulfed in blazing white light.

Giselle meanwhile simply flipped her hair and called out her response. "Attacking a rock type with a normal type move?" she asked, laughing into her hand. "Geodude, defence curl and counter," she ordered.

Geodude curled together into a ball which shone a bright light indicating that its defences had been raised. Attacking a rock type with a normal type move was indeed a bit of a stupid decision, but if Giselle had been paying closer attention and not underestimating him she would have noticed that wasn't what he had been doing.

Just as Rattata was about to smash into the Geodude, the rat put a foot to the ground to pivot around his enemy in one smooth transition. The white light of Quick Attack dissipated and the burnt orange glow of Rock Smash emerged on his right fist. The arm blurred forward and impacted the Geodude straight in the middle of its circular body. A boom resounded through the clearing as cracks appeared in the rock type and it unfurled, screaming its name in agony.

Yeah, being a rock and getting a move that was named Rock Smash slammed right into you without expecting it? That was gonna hurt, Joey concluded. Rattata had enough agency to know to keep punching if he was in a good position and started slamming his other fist forward when Giselle made an interesting decision.

"Geodude Self-Destruct!" she shouted decisively the moment she noticed that she had miscalculated. That, at least, Joey could respect. Quick decision-making in a battle was good and harder than it looked. He hadn't really expected Self-Destruct, but in hindsight realised that Giselle didn't have to beat his Pokemon to get her win condition as long as she simply wanted to make him lose. Assuming that he traded every battle one for one because of such tactics he would run out of Pokemon before the gauntlet kids.

Unfortunately for her, an amateurish Self-Destruct wasn't really what was going to knock him out of the race. "Dig," Joey shouted as Geodude started glowing in preparation for blowing up. Rattata disappeared underground at the exact moment when bright molten cracks of light started appearing in the Geodude's rock-like exterior and it blew apart, creating an explosion half as big as the field they were using for the battle. A cloud of dust was kicked up and gravel was thrown out of the battlefield causing everyone to have put up their arms to shield their eyes.

When the dust cleared it revealed a thoroughly knocked-out Geodude and a Rattata that wasn't even panting on Joey's side of the field.

"Rattata aren't supposed to use fighting-type moves!" Giselle shouted angrily from her side as she recalled her Pokemon.

Joey for his part simply shrugged as Miss Elvis waved the flag to signal his victory. He didn't have to explain anything. Although considering that he was here as some sort of obstacle, perhaps even the teacher in a sense and he was being paid a decent sum, it wouldn't really hurt to lose a few sentences on it.

"A Pokemon's typing is only one part of the equation when one tries to see what sort of moves they will be good at using. Their personal preference and personality can also often impact in which direction they will develop. Nidoking for example is technically capable of learning both Flamethrower and Thunderbolt, but you will likely never find one who can execute both equally well. That is because there will always be a preference in either the Pokemon's ability or willingness to learn," Joey shortly explained as Giselle was prompted to send out her next Pokemon which was a Cubone.

The girl frowned at him as he finished speaking, Miss Elvis having paused the match until he finished his explanation.

"The simulations don't necessarily cover this, but Pokemon with enough effort are capable of learning moves beyond what is expected of them," the woman-turned-referee added, "but now let's return to the battle!"

The two trainers nodded and continued the match as the flag was raised.

Giselle seemed leery now that she'd so easily lost her first Pokemon, even if that had partially been her own fault. Joey meanwhile decided that he was now going to be more careful because the Cubone looked more developed and trained than the Geodude which indicated that this was the girl's starter, or whatever a starter meant in Institute terms.

"Keep it at a distance with Bone Club," Giselle ordered when the match started.

The Cubone nodded its skull-covered head and threw the bone it was holding at Rattata.

"Dodge, when it starts going for another move, get closer," Joey ordered calmly as the weapon was thrown their way.

Not even having to use Detect and knowing that this match was all about conserving energy, Rattata simply jumped to the side of the bone which veered off slightly after he changed position indicating a weak homing ability. It returned to the Cubone's hands, before being thrown again.

It came flying at Rattata, but represented no threat. Quite frankly, Joey's Pokemon was just faster than the projectile, while also being very good at dodging. The Youngster was counting on the fact that by dodging without using any moves a stamina advantage would develop.

Giselle however also seemed to notice this and frowned. "Focus Energy, make it come to you," she ordered.

Never one to give an opponent what they wanted, Joey then did the opposite of what she was probably expecting. The Rock Smash had likely made the girl think that Rattata was solely a close combat Pokemon, and while that was mostly true, he did know one damaging ranged move.

"Swift, interrupt the focus!" Joey called out, causing Rattata to spin once on himself and release a wave of little yellow stars from his tail. It was a move that they'd struggled with initially but which was now confidently a part of their repertoire. Hardly damaging on its own and very unsuited to Rattata's abysmal special attack capacity, it nonetheless represented another option in their arsenal.

Cubone was forced to abandon its Focus Energy to swat the stars away with his bone, likely knowing that they would simply hone in on him if he just dodged. The stars released little sparks into the air around them as they were smashed apart by the ground type. And while everyone's attention was on the defence, Joey decided it was time to mix in a bit of offence as well. Sure he could have simply stood there and ordered Ratata to counter every one of Cubone's moves. However, a prolonged battle like that would result in a bigger stamina loss than simply rushing in successfully and finishing the whole thing faster.

"Dig," Joey said quietly while Cubone was preoccupied. Rattata slipped underground like an assassin at duck and approached their opponent.

Joey very carefully observed Giselle's face, specifically her mouth in case she muttered the horrible word he didn't want to hear. Namely, either Magnitude or Earthquake. If she did so he would tap his feet on the ground to make Rattata emerge before he was buried.

Thankfully for him, the Cubone apparently didn't know these moves yet, however, there was one thing that they did know which somewhat helped its situation. "Cubone, use Sandstorm and hit it when it comes up!"

Cubone kicked once at the gravel causing sand to slowly start rising into the air signifying a not-so-good command of the move. The sand started swirling in a tight globe around the ground type just as Rattata emerged from underneath. While Rattata was surging upwards in an explosion of ground-type energy, Cubone struck downwards with its club and the battle cry of its name. Perhaps because Rattata was surprised by the sudden decrease in visibility above ground, after all, he couldn't feel from down below that a sandstorm had started, the exchange actually ended in a draw. Rattata knocked Cubone into the air, but got a smack on the head in return, which caused him to fall back woozily while Cubone landed on the ground and got up.

"Dig again, but this time dodge the retaliation," Joey drawled, not feeling the need to do anything new. He was already thinking about the next match. Maybe if he got the gauntlet kids thinking that Rattata was one-dimensional, it would be easier to pick them off.

Perhaps this sort of lackadaisical attitude would have been the reason for a surprise turnaround in other situations, but as Rattata went underground again, it became clear that Giselle simply didn't have a better answer than what she had done before.

She was forced to stand there and watch as Rattata dismantled Cubone using its own element while taking barely any hits.

When Miss Elvis announced Joey's victory Giselle looked for a second like she couldn't believe it, or wouldn't accept it, but then she simply recalled her starter, stiffly stood there for a second, before turning around and woodenly walking away.

Joey tilted his head and turned his gaze to the four remaining kids who didn't look so sure of themselves anymore. The fact of the matter was that while these kids certainly had the numerical advantage against any third badge trainer... The issue was that Joey had won his third badge using only two Pokemon. He firmly believed that if the next gym in the line wasn't the water gym, he would be capable of winning his fourth badge as he was now. His team composed of Rattata, Metapod and Diglett was likely capable of defeating Flint's rock types and also clutching a win on Cinnabar.

Looking at it from this direction his victory was understandable, which didn't mean that the next gauntlet kid wouldn't walk away with any shame from losing.

The schoolboy seemed to understand his position to at least some extent as he came forward while dragging his feet. His sudden loss of confidence made his finely coiffed hair look more ridiculous than anything and Joey almost felt sorry for the boy. After all, he was just a kid, and the Technical Institute really hadn't prepared him well enough to actually win a serious battle. They should have started these kids on trainers who had just gotten their starter or maybe their first badge to make it somewhat equal.

At the swing of Miss Elvis' flags, they were prompted to call out their Pokemon, although Joey had simply left Rattata on the field intending to continue with his starter.

The boy meanwhile released something which caught Joey slightly by surprise. It was a Weepinbell, the evolved form of Bellsprout. This made things a bit more serious as even in the hands of a less experienced trainer an evolved Pokemon symbolised a larger threat.

"Rattata, calm down and let's take this seriously. I'm sure that if you don't get distracted we could sweep the whole thing," Joey said calmly and resolutely as his starter bristled at the challenge. Excitement, not fear, as always. 

Facing such a resolute Pokemon Weepinbell never stood a chance.

-/-

The Gauntlet concluded as anticlimactically as it had begun. If Joey hadn't known any better then he would have maybe gotten his pride bloated by the result. He'd won using only two Pokemon. Rattata had unfortunately gotten poisoned by the Weepinbell but had still managed to win his next two battles through sheer speed and power.

The last of his opponents for the day had faced Joey's Metapod with a Mareep, which was a rare enough Pokemon for Kanto. However, Metapod had neutralised all of its ranged attacks due to its practice for battling electric types specifically and then she'd simply poisoned the bleating electric type and harried it into unconsciousness with her string version of bullet seed.

The atmosphere was sort of awkward after Joey's complete victory since the Institute probably didn't face such practical examples against their methodology often. Joey was very sure that the teachers knew of the skill disparity between trainers and students based on the fact that they'd never produced anyone who'd gone far in the conference. However, the children that Joey remembered from the anime and those that he had faced now seemed to actually believe that their titles gained by exams and simulations merited them calling themselves second-badge trainers.

By definition however, a second-badge trainer was someone who'd won two badges, nothing more nothing less.

Miss Elvis coughed awkwardly into her hand, the flag she'd been using earlier disappearing. "Well thank you, Jonathan. I'm sure this was a very valuable lesson," she said with a glance at the five dispirited children who looked like they wanted to be anywhere but here. The only one of them who seemed somewhat spirited was Giselle who was glaring angrily at Joey as if promising revenge.

He didn't really care. Stuck in the school as she was, he was unlikely to ever battle her again unless he was hired to do so. Her participation in the Conference would be years after his and unless she dropped out to take the traditional journey then she would never meet him on the road.

For him this was a simple affair, he did it to get money and experience for the youngster tournament and now it was time to leave. That was why he was confused when upon dispersing the gauntlet kids, Miss Elvis once again coughed into her fist to politely gain his attention.

"I know that you would likely wish to leave right now considering the job is done, but the other battles are not yet finished and I think that the principal would like to have a word with you in his office. Would you be amenable to waiting there until he is available and then leaving together with the other trainers?" she asked very politely considering she was an adult talking to a child. Although Joey had in his short acquaintance never seen Miss Elvis be anything but exceedingly polite.

Joey shrugged mindlessly and let her start leading him away. He didn't mind having a chat with the principal although he was confused as to the topic, and anyway, he'd have to wait here until the others finished their battles so they could get on the bus.

Miss Elvis led him from the battlefield into an open corridor which connected two of the school buildings. Once there they naturally went towards their larger one of the two, which had the clock tower attached to it. 

"Any idea what the principal wants?" Joey wondered aloud. "Also shouldn't he still be busy officiating the gauntlet of the other challengers? he asked. After all, the principal had led away the other two badge tiers, while Miss Elvis had taken care of him.

"He doesn't have time to be there for the entirety of the battles, but he likes greeting the people he hired. He usually watches from his office in between paperwork. As for what he wants to talk about, I don't know. You'll have to ask him yourself," Miss Elvis said kindly as they walked past a gaggle of laughing schoolchildren who seemed to be having a good time.

Upon reaching a rather large hall that was coloured in pristine white they approached an elevator which, if Joey's spatial orientation was correct, connected to the clock tower. 

Once they entered the metal box Miss Elvis pressed a key onto some sort of recognition pad and pressed the topmost button. It was a number five, which was quite tall for a building like this built in the middle of nowhere and consisting of facilities for staff and students only.

"Who funded the creation of this place?" Joey asked.

"The principal managed to get a few investors, the biggest of which was the League. Additionally, we've been paying off a loan with the tuition fees of the students," Miss Elvis said. "Once we're done with that the tuition will decrease and we will be able to offer more scholarships."

Joey nodded thoughtfully as they reached the topmost floor. So the principal wasn't just the principal, but also the main brain behind the idea. Perhaps this conversation would be interesting then.

They exited the elevator into a very small waiting room just big enough for one secretary desk with a chair, some cabinets and a sofa. The desk was empty and Miss Elvis went up to the large wooden door separating this room from the next to knock, while Joey went to sit. He was quite curious what this was going to be about. He was sure the principal didn't seek out a private conversation with everybody that he hired, right?

-/-

AN: The tale of the stinky hobo continues. For those who enjoy it, there's a few more, for those who don't, don't worry, not that much more.

11 more chapters on Patreon ;)