FALLING APART

While I was having a mini internal freakout over what I thought could be a cataclysmically life changing, nay life destroying event EZ had been busy hacking into the bar's credit card terminal to find the name of the man that I couldn't remember. I could already feel the ground rumbling beneath my feet as the fabric of my reality was beginning to unravel. No, that was just me shaking in fear at the thought of that man having marked me.

"Got it." EZ declared eagerly. "I've got his name, give me a few minutes and I will know everything there is to know about him."

"Uh huh." I was still in a daze and not certain if I was ever going to recover at this rate.

Why? Why had he bitten me? I knew I wasn't wrong in my assumptions. There was no way he was anything other than a feline shifter. He was a man that was as different from humanity as I was.

This man had gone with me back to my place, knowing what I was, and he had not only had sex with me but he marked me in the process. How the hell could he have done that to me?

As I stared at the screen I felt anger and rage boiling within me. I was righteously pissed off at him. I would never forgive him, ever. If I ever saw him again I would probably end up punching him in his stupid fucking face.

"This is strange." EZ seemed confused and uncertain for some reason.

"What?" His tone drew me out of my own little world where I kept envisioning myself kicking that man's ass over and over again. Something seemed to be wrong, something that was confusing the super smart EZ.

"All I can find is his name and a previous address. It's like the rest doesn't even exist."

"How is that even possible? Is it a fake identity or something? Is he a spook?"

"No, I don't think it's anything like that, if he were a spook the government would have made up a whole fake profile for him. This guy looks like he knows his way around a computer as much as I do. He's hiding who he is. It's like his information doesn't exist unless he wants it to." I could see the awe radiating from EZ as he looked at the screens.

"So he's a hacker like you?" I was confused as I looked back at the screen where it had frozen on the image of the man's driver's license photo.

"Seriously Jacy, I will take this guy if you don't, he's a total catch."

I tried to ignore EZ's words then as I stared at the full color photo of the man I had forgotten. Just who was this man? Oh I knew his name now sure, he was Kyle Donovan aged thirty-two from right here in Boston. But, just who was he really?

Seeing his face this clearly now brought back some memories. I remember being a little frantic and frisky in the elevator. I remember having my hands on his pants when he lifted me and carried me to my door, which he had known without me needing to tell him. I remember him pleasing me until I screamed his name. Then he climbed up to loom over me and proceeded to blow my mind even more.

How could I ever have forgotten any of that. It had all been so amazing that it should have been so memorable, but somehow I had still forgotten it all.

And then there was the fact that he was hotter than hot. He was literally the hottest guy I could ever remember meeting in my entire life. So why the hell had he come for me? What made him bite me that night.

"EZ, I think I need to go home." I spoke as I turned away from the screens that were still showing Kyle's picture. I needed to get out of here. I needed to think about all of this.

"Are you OK?" EZ stood then, putting a hand on my arm. "You look really pale."

"It's just a lot to process right now."

"Are you remembering anything from the other night? Now that you've seen his face again?"

"It took until you brought up his ID, that was when it all started coming back. I need to go home and sort all of this out." I could hear the exhaustion in my own voice then and I knew that I would need to get home before I finally crashed.

"If you need anything, call me, I will come over right away."

"Thanks EZ." I smiled and hugged him, needing to lean over quite far to accomplish it.

I left then, heading straight for my new truck and then back home to my condo.

I couldn't get Kyle out of my head the entire drive home. I kept seeing his photo from his driver's license that was followed by a memory of the two of us together. It was like my brain needed that visual stimulation to finally make the connection to all those memories.

I remembered it all, maybe not the conversation we had had, but I remembered what we had done with each other. I remembered that I had quite enjoyed it as well. And then there was the memory of his scent which smelled so refreshing.

When I parked the truck and got out I thought I smelled his scent again, but it was probably just the lingering memory in my head since it didn't go away on the elevator or in the hall outside my door.

I needed to go to bed. I desperately needed sleep. I was seriously losing my mind if I thought he had actually been here again. This was just insane.

Once I was in my room I just dropped my clothes, piece by piece, as I walked to the bed. I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I went and noticed that the hickies he had left were now completely gone.

Looking over my shoulder in the mirror I was able to see where he had bitten me. I had avoided looking at it this morning, afraid of what I would see. The bruising around that spot was lasting longer than the others, it was really dark right in the middle where his teeth had sunk in fairly deep.

I needed to put that out of my mind though. I needed to calm my thoughts and just forget about this guy. I never wanted to see him again, right? I didn't, did I?

I climbed into the bed, feeling overheated even though I was naked. It was like my body was remembering everything from that night with vivid detail and was reexperiencing all the sensations he had made me feel.

I couldn't help myself, I needed to touch the places he had touched. I needed to feel the satisfaction and gratification that would come from that personal sort of pleasure. I needed to experience that high that came when I came. It was a compulsion, a need that was beyond my control.

After I was through, after I had exhausted myself I was finally able to fall asleep. And I didn't care that I was going to sleep in the middle of the afternoon. I needed to ignore the world for now