Instant regret

After hours of searching for snowy I felt defeated. I lost him. The Royal realm was nothing like the magical realm. I didn't belong here. I got distracted to easily and most of the time I got lost in my head while searching for him. I wanted to go home hours after making the stupid bond, that I was dumb enough to agree to create.

I could beat Luther what was i thinking? I should've just left. I cant be trialed no matter the offense. For the last hour I've been trying to teleport back home but I can't. The bond is unbreakable I've tried. I can't focus when I'm anywhere but sitting on the floor. It's like this whole building was made to be a distraction.

Maybe this is why my dad hid me from the royals. I'm weak with too many flaws. I can't even tap into dark magic to break through anything otherwise I'll lose control. I shouldn't be so overdramatic but it's to dangerous to be here. I should've known that when I had sex with Alex. I don't belong here ugghh. I let everyone's kindness distract me.

At least Alex didn't get access to my magic otherwise I would've really been stuck. I can still access the source that's why no one has come in. I did a spell to access anything that was keeping surveillance in the realm to find snowy and I found out they've been watching me. So I did a spell to block it. Im stronger than anyone in light and protection spells, so at least there's that.

There's only a few reason people would watch me and I'm guessing its to make sure I don't lose control. It's like they did their research. The room has everything I like in it. Everything in here I would get lost in from the design of the bathroom. To the brightness of the vanity and all the makeup and hair stuff on it. To the colorful closet that has too many colors and to much stuff.

Everyone always thought I decorated everything a certain way because of my style but that's not true. There was nothing in Luther and my room because I needed to keep my head on straight. All the parties I designed had simple colors like white and purple because it wasn't flashy and it was subtle. Our first wedding was completely white so my head was on. Luther was surprised when I picked one of my least favorite flowers.

I have always been ahead of my flaws and weaknesses. I learned to live with them and find ways around them. I was so use to making sure nothing could truly ever distract me that I never truly beat my weakness. I only found a way around it. Me sitting on the floor to keep my head straight shows it. I could've been born with any other weakness but no I had to be like a child for the rest of my life.

My powers won't even prevent me from getting distracted here. I guess I would be too powerful if I always was focused. So the God creaters were like let's create her like a cat, when something shiny comes she'll want it. Huhhh "Mazaya what are you doing?" Alex The God of absolute powers voice penetrated my thoughts. "Why are you on the floor?" He asked.

How long has he been standing there. I looked down and realized anyone with a mind could guess what I was doing. I swiped everything away. He must have used his dark magic to get into my room because I tapped into the source to prevent anyone from getting in here. I mean it did take almost two hours to get in here.

"Mazaya why are you on the floor?" He asked. He didn't ask about why I blocked access to the room so I guess it was child's play for him. "I was just trying to find snowy." I lied. I gave up on looking for snowy awhile ago. "I'm not dumb Mazaya. Why were you trying to break the bond you agreed to." He asked in a serious tone.

Why was talking to him making me emotionally unstable. I tried to close my eyes to prevent the tear but they still broke through. "Mazaya talk to me. I can't help if I don't know." Alex said sounding genuinely concerned. "I want to go home, I don't belong here." I cried out because my mouth loved to betray me.

He sat down across for me and grabbed my face and forced me to look up. "Did something happen that made you feel unwelcomed?" He asked. He rubbed away the tears again because they just seemed to have a mind of their own. "You guys are watching me like I'm some animal." I said he was taking away the fight in me. I had to remember that people were nice to pacify me.

"There's surveillance in my room. I came across it when I accessed all surveillance systems in the realm." I said getting back some of my resolve. "You accessed our surveillance?" He asked with a hint of something that wasn't anger. "Yes but only to try to find snowy. I just happened to come across my room while searching." I said.

"So you tried to break the bond?" He asked like he was only trying to confirm what he already figured out. "Yes but It's unbreakable. I just want to go home and I'm stuck. Wait You could tell me I can go home and it will override it." I stated excitedly. My excitement was short lived because he gave me a sympathetic look. My smile dropped instantly.

"I would if I didn't genuinely need your help. I could change your room if you want but the only room that is surveillance free is my room. And I'm not allowed to tamper with the system. It's magic based though so if you are worried about privacy that's not an issue." He said like that was the problem. Being seen naked wasn't a problem, being watched was. "Can we switch rooms?" I asked with hope that he seemed to like to take away before it could take over my mind.