The First Goodbyes

Lloyd got up thirty minutes before his wife did. He could've gotten up an hour before. Or two. He didn't sleep at all that night. Three months of training and preparation, and he still felt uneasy. Unsure. Lloyd glanced down at his wife and noticed she was nearly hanging off the edge, trying to put as much space between them as possible. He bit his lip as he walked to the bathroom, slowly but deliberately trying to twist off the ring on his finger. He took a shower and got dressed with five minutes to spare. Walking out the bathroom, he left the bedroom and went to the bedroom across the hall. Peering in he saw his son nine year old son Eric, looking disturbed in his sleep. He fidgeted around and kept turning over.

Lloyd put his hand on his son's forehead and noticed he was burning up.

"Eric," he whispered. "Eric wake up." Eric opened his eyes and squinted in the darkness.

"Huh?"

"It's time to get up. Today's the day." he said with a mix of false happiness and disappointment as he turned on the bedside lamp.

"Everything's packed, right?"

"Just the little things I need. Mom said we wouldn't need that much luggage."

"Yeah," Lloyd replied grimly. "I know."

The alarm went off in the other bedroom and reminded Lloyd what time it was.

"Alright, get dressed."

He left the room and went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. A subdued yellow light was peering from the kitchen window. Opening the blinds Lloyd was greeted with a dense fog, almost too thick to see the house next door, let alone the sky. Pouring himself a cup, Lloyd took his mug and sat on the couch. His living room had a big fireplace with a flat screen hanging above it. There were windows on either side of the fireplace, both curtained so the faint yellow light from the backyard did not peak through. Lloyd turned on his tv through his phone and changed to the news.

"Good Morning Milton! I am local Storm Team meteorologist Vanessa Guandique tracking the rain in the forecast this morning at six o'clock. Looks like we will see this rain come through between seven and ten this morning, fairly heavy pockets of rain but not too severe while later on in the day Air Quality Increase will decrease  from the normal 490s to the comparatively low 320s. The perpetual fog will be thirteen percent lighter tomorrow but remember, it is not safe to go outside without a respirator under any circumstances."

"Dad?" said Eric. He appeared on the right side of Lloyd with a poptart in his hand. "Mom says there's going to be blue skies in the new world. Do you remember what they looked like?"

"Vividly." Lloyd sighed, lowering the tv volume. "I don't think I appreciated it enough."

"Then why aren't you coming with us? Don't you want to see them again?"

Lloyd looked into his son's eyes for a second and turned away. This wasn't fair to him. To either of them. But he refused to join the program. Refused to give up his life.

"You know I have work, right? I have to help people with their transition, just like you and mommy." His chest felt heavy, and he was starting to get hot.

"But you're not coming when you're done either, are you?"

Jenna walked in and put her hand on Eric's shoulder.

"The cab will be here any minute Eric. Go get your respirator."

Eric reluctantly walked off while Jenna moved closer to the couch.

"This is your last chance, Lloyd."

"And you already know what my answer is," he replied bluntly. "Fuck New America."

"What is it?!" she snapped in a harsh whisper. "What are you afraid of? What's stopping you from going?"

"What's the goddamn point?!" he snapped back, standing up. "A virtual world, where the possibilities are fucking endless, and they decide to remake the same garbage ass country we already live in. Why do anything in the virtual world? Why work for anybody? They're killing us because this world is a damn wasteland now."

"You're a liar. We've seen it on the news and you've told us yourself. They preserve the bodies in cryostasis. We can leave-"

"I've never heard about anyone leaving-"

"Maybe because nobody wants to!"

The argument was cut short by Eric re-entering the room, carrying a slim carbon fiber respiratory mask that covered the entire face. Jenna knelt down to put the mask on Eric as her phone beeped and glowed purple.

"Great, the car is here." said Jenna as she tightened Eric's mask. She pressed a button near the left ear and the lenses in front of the eyes lit up white. The lower part of the mask contracted like he was sucking in his cheeks, then air blew out of the nose region.

"You ready to have fun with your aunties and cousins before the new year?" she asked him as she put on her own mask.

"Mhm." he replied unconvincingly. They couldn't see his expression but they understood his tone. Jenna opened the door and began to lead Eric outside.

"Tell Dad goodbye." she told him. To get surprise, he walked back and hugged Lloyd, who knelt down to reach him.

"I have a surprise for you under my bed. Don't open it until New Years." said Eric, his voice fairly muffled from the mask.

"You bet. And hey... as a transfer therapist I have access to certain parts of New America. I might sneak in and take a peek or two, see how things are in there."

It was impossible to tell, but Lloyd was sure Eric was smiling. He grabbed his and his mothers suitcase and ran towards the driverless car.

"I call the front spot!" he shouted back. Lloyd stepped out onto the porch without a mask and took a look around. The neighborhood looked as empty as ever after the New America mandate, but the mechanical trees were still recycling the air and producing oxygen. The crown of the trees continue to blow the smog off the neighborhood so it looked like everyone had nimbostratus clouds sitting on top of their houses.

In less than two seconds, Lloyd was struggling to breathe. After five, his eyes were burning so bad he could hardly keep them open. But Lloyd tried to play it off unfazed. He watched as his son slammed the truck and noticed him.

"You don't have your mask on!" he shouted.

"I know!" he replied back, attempting a laugh that broke into a haggard cough. "But I don't care anymore." he said quieter, mostly to himself.

"Lloyd please. My family, they'd love to be around you." she tried again, now hobbled but the blank, uncaring respiratory mask.

He shook his head and stepped back inside. "Your family was never mine. You're lucky to still have them, but I can't be apart of that system. Ever."

Jenna turned walked towards the car as Lloyd began to close the door, opting to watch them from the window. The living room ventilators went into overboard as Lloyd coughed and rubbed his eyes, the loud whirring sound buzzing around in his skull. He stopped wiping his eyes long enough to see Jenna place Eric in the passenger side of the driver-less car before it pulled off, the tinted windows displaying led lights that said, "New Year, New America!"

He waited about fifteen minutes before his own ride arrived. This was it. The big day. The first time he put someone in the system. Adjusting his mask, Lloyd took a deep breath and marched outside to the car, the mask turning everything a murky grayish white.

The interior of the car was very minimal, no cup holders or steering wheel, or seat belts. The front windshield appeared to be a complete screen on the inside, displaying a virtual map of his drive among other things. He took off his mask and breathed in the crisp, refreshing cold air. The ride was about twenty minutes long with next to no traffic at all. There were big vertical obelisks at every street corner, trying to redirect the smog a little higher into the sky with vents lining the sides.

As the car got closer Lloyd began to hear the commotion. Chants. Shouting. Worst of all, the coughing and gagging. The car pulled up next to a small line of people waiting to go inside and a larger crowd of dissenters protesting the company. Two guards came out of the front door, letting out the brightest of white lights onto the street, shining like a sliver of sunlight before the doors shut behind them. One held the dissenters at gunpoint, pushing them away from the door. The other talking to the people in line, presenting their IDs. Looking at the stragglers, Lloyd could tell most of the people in line only agreed to do this at the last second. Out of fear. That made his job harder. Putting on his mask, Lloyd took his ID out of his pocket and held it up, the Manifest Digital logo already glowing because of his proximity to the building. The second guard nodded in approval and motioned for him to pass.

"After he goes in there will be a 75 second wait until the next one can go in." he heard the guard tell the others. "Please have your IDs in your hand before you reach me."

Lloyd walked through the sliding door into an immediate box with a square white light above him.

"Please stand still with your feet on the marked area." said a makes robotic voice.

Lloyd looked down and did as he was told, staring at the little holes on the floor.

"Cleansing in 3... 2...1."

A blast of steam spewed from the vents overhead, making him begin to sweat. The sterilizing steam continued until the tiny little box was completely full, and Lloyd could no longer see his hands.

A claustrophobic person would have a stroke in here. He thought as a strong force under his feet began to suck out all of the steam in the area, a force so powerful he could've sworn his eyes almost flew out his head.

"All Done. You may proceed." said the voice.

The door in front of him opened and he entered the waiting room, a large sitting area with two dozen chairs spaced evenly out. Two flat screens hung from each wall, one of each displaying a news channel, the other displaying the patient queue. The ivory colored walls had pulsing white lights behind them, the main source of light in the room. Both the floor and ceiling were made of glass tinted black, hiding special sensors and cameras from view.

Lloyd turned to the left and walked to the receptionist's desk, where Peter was scrambling to get his desk straight.

"How are you already so disorganized? This is our first day out of training." Llyod chastised him.

Peter looked at him with contempt. "First off all," he started, "These are all the last minute applications. Second of all, you don't even have to worry about paperwork, so get out my damn business."

Peter was a heavyset latino guy in his mid thirties. He was a little flamboyant, extremely volatile, and didn't know a hint of Spanish. And god forbid you ask him why he doesn't know Spanish.

"Alright man, chill out, I was playing. You need any help?" he offered sincerely.

"I'm going to need you in your office putting these people into the system as fast as possible so they can get out my face." he replied without looking up. "I can't believe I'm already this stressed. I missed that old clinic we used to work in."

"That was too depressing." Lloyd replied, thinking back to the old days. People were slowly starting to trickle in, some immediately forming a line behind him. "It's a little hard to convince someone their life is worth living when you feel the same way they do."

"Well I hope you can keep up that facade until the new year," Peter answered, picking up a packet. "Here's your first client."