682. Chapter 682

Kara and Maggie meet eyes over Alex’s head, both of their faces grim, both of their breaths held.

“Al,” Maggie starts tentatively, but Alex holds up her hands and waves them frantically, as though her fingers can physically stop anyone’s comfort from getting through to her.

“Alex,” Kara whispers this time, slipping her hands around Alex’s waist from behind without touching her, waiting for her big sister’s permission.

She trembles for a moment, stiff and desperate to bury herself in her books, away from the reality that her girlfriend and her sister are trying to convince her is alright.

Trying to distance herself from her failure.

But she looks up into Maggie’s eyes, full of nothing but adoration – completely free of the judgment Alex is subjecting herself to, that she knows Eliza will impose on her – and she feels the gentle hesitation in Kara’s hands, the love and respect and attentiveness implicit in the way Kara is waiting for permission to actually touch her.

So she sighs and lets herself be loved, leaning back into Kara’s touch. Maggie smiles encouragingly at her, her head tilted slightly, which skews her glasses at an angle that Alex finds irresistibly adorable.

“You know I love you in glasses, right, Sawyer? I don’t understand why you won’t wear them outside our dorm.”

Maggie gives her a fake scowl as she offers one hand for Alex to hold, as she gently closes Alex’s organic chem text book with the other.

“No changing the subject, Danvers,” she chastises, but it’s gentle and supportive. None of the seething hatred that Alex is feeling for herself – not even a trace – is in Maggie’s voice.

“No pun intended?” she chuckles, because changing the subject – or, more specifically, dropping it – is exactly what has Alex in tears.

Maggie’s fake scowl gets even deeper. “Okay, bad choice of words on my part.”

“But really, Alex,” Kara kisses her cheek as she slides out from behind her and collapses next to her on the couch. “You know none of your options are bad, right?”

Alex purses her lips into a tight, panicked line, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut as she starts to tremble.

“I just have to study harder, I just – “

“Hey, whoa, babe,” Maggie leans forward to kiss her lips softly, and Kara smiles at the way Alex’s panic slows immediately. “Listen to me, hm? Please, sweetie?”

Alex opens her eyes and sighs, leaning into Kara as she holds her girlfriend’s hand and keeps her gaze locked into Maggie’s.

“If you don’t drop the class, you know you’re not a bad person if it makes your GPA drop. It’s not gonna ruin everything, Alex. Your transcripts are spectacular. You’re spectacular. And one class isn’t going to destroy that. It’s not going to invalidate what an amazing student you are. Or what an amazing person, which is more important, anyway.”

“But – “ Alex starts to wriggle in panic, and Kara takes her turn, now.

“But,” she picks up, Maggie nodding at her encouragingly. “If you do decide to drop it, that doesn’t mean you’re giving up, or that you’re a failure. It just means that this was a really hard term for you; you were taking, what, twenty-three credits? And working a billion hours a week in the lab? If you decide to take a hit to your GPA, it’s okay, like Maggie said. But if you want to drop it, and take it again when your schedule is less strained and your emotional health is better, that’s also okay, Alex. Either way, you’re the best big sister in the world. And you’re still like, a genius.”

Alex scoffs bitterly, even though her shoulders are more relaxed, now. “If I were such a genius, I wouldn’t be doing so crappy in orgo.”

“Would you say that if it were me, Alex? Or Kara, or Lena?”

Alex scowls, and Maggie returns it, both of them leaning into each other and intensifying their scowls until they break out laughing.

Alex’s laughter has tears in it, though.

“I’m not a bad person? Or… or stupid?”

“No,” Kara’s voice is firm.

“Absolutely not,” Maggie’s is, too.

“But Mom – “

“Eliza will deal with it. She has so much to be proud of you about, Alex. And if she loses sight of everything else that you’ve done – everything else that you are – because you had a tough term, well… that’s not your fault.”

Maggie grins at her hopefully-one-day sister-in-law before turning back to her girlfriend and kissing the tip of her nose.

“Kid Danvers is right, Alex. You’re amazing, okay? And you’re so damn smart, and dedicated, and you have so much to be proud of. This doesn’t change that, whichever decision you make. Okay?”

“You won’t be mad? Or… disappointed?” Alex asks them both, not able to look at either of them.

The way her voice breaks almost makes Kara sob as both she and Maggie instinctively embrace Alex, sandwiching her between them and peppering her face with kisses.

“Never, Alex,” Maggie promises.

“Never ever ever ever,” Kara assures her.

“Will you buy me pizza to celebrate me making a decision?” Alex asks, tears still in her voice, but relief clear in her eyes.

Kara grins broadly and disentangles herself, leaving Alex in Maggie’s very capable hands.

“I’ll be right back,” she beams, zooming away for pizza and Alex’s favorite ice cream, because she deserves all of it.