357. Chapter 357

She tells her she wants to have all those firsts.

All those firsts, and so many more.

All those firsts, and firsts they haven’t even thought of yet.

Because they’ve had their first fight, and they’re had their first tickle war, and they’ve had their first rogue mission together, and they’ve had their first time having Winn walk in on them.

They’ve had their first date and they’ve had their first dance and they’ve had their first cuddle and they’ve had their first sleepover and they’ve had their first time kissing the night through and they’ve had their first time making love the night through.

They’ve had their first Valentine’s Day, and Maggie has no idea in all the world while Alex would want to name a dog Gertrude, but they’ll do it, they’ll do it, they’ll do it, because Alex is perfect and Alex is alive, alive, alive, and they’ll have their first dog because she’s here and she’s in Maggie’s arms and she’s sitting up and she’s telling her she wants to have all those firsts, all the firsts, and then she’s steadying herself, and they can’t stop glancing at each other’s lips, and Maggie thinks her heart might burst right through her chest because Alex Danvers never wants to stop having firsts with her, and then she’s taking a breath – a breath because she’s alive, alive, alive – and then she’s smoothing Maggie’s hair behind her ear.

“I love you, Maggie Sawyer,” she’s whispering, and something explodes in Maggie’s core, because this woman, this woman, god, this woman, this woman who’s survived hell, who held on, held on, held on, this woman who’s looking at her with a tenderness no one has ever looked at her, this woman whose voice is still hoarse from nearly drowning but from surviving, surviving, surviving, this woman whose touch to her skin resonates through her entire soul, this woman whose lips are going to save her life.

This woman loves her, loves her, loves her.

And god, god, god, she loves her back.

“I love you, Alex Danvers.”

“Yeah?” Alex asks, because of course Alex asks, and there’s no pause, no hesitation, no breath, before Maggie’s voice squeaks and she confirms.

“Yeah.” Of course, yeah. Always.

Always.

Always.

A lifetime of firsts.

They inhale as one being and Alex forgets to be scared of losing her breath again, because her hands are framing Maggie’s face, and Maggie’s hands are framing hers, and that is all she needs to keep her safe, keep her dry, keep her breathing.

Keep her loved, loved, loved.

They part quickly, because Alex is going to sob.

They part quickly, because Maggie’s forgotten how to breathe.

They part quickly, because neither of them have ever felt this much.

They still grasp at each other’s faces, still grasp for each other’s closeness, and they rest their foreheads together, eyes closed, shared breath, shared pulse, shared life, shared love.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Alex whispers again, again, again, and Maggie laughs, and Maggie does the same, because they have lost time to make up for, and they have the rest of their lives to do it, but god, it’s so nice to start right now.

She feels Alex’s eyes on her lips before she lifts her forehead to see them, and her eyes drift down, too, because she loves her, god, she loves her, and she can never get close enough to her, ever, ever, ever.

But god in heaven, she can try.

They fall back into each other’s lips, into each other’s breath, into each other’s blood, and when Alex’s lips part, Maggie doesn’t hesitate.

Doesn’t hesitate because she’s spent too much of her life hesitating.

She slips her tongue into Alex’s mouth, and Alex moans softly and pulls her closer, closer, closer, shifting so Maggie can have more access, so her own tongue can flit across Maggie’s lips, because Maggie is warm and Maggie is soft and Maggie is here, here, here, loving her, loving her, loving her.

“I love you,” they both breath each time they shift position, each time they tilt their heads a different way, try a different angle, because who says getting caught desperately making out on a medical bay bed by Alex’s father isn’t one of the firsts they should try?

He clears his throat and he averts his eyes, and Alex giggles but she doesn’t stop kissing Maggie.

Can’t stop kissing her.

Won’t stop kissing her.

She smiles into their kiss and feels rather than sees J’onn’s smile, senses rather than hears his chuckle, and she’ll run to him in a moment, in a moment, and she’ll hug him like she’s needed to hug him for too many hours, but right now she can do nothing but kiss the woman who loves her – god, she loves her, how did that happen, she loves her – and J’onn?

J’onn crosses his arms over his chest and her guards the door with a gravely serious expression, warning James and Winn that they really don’t want to go in there at the moment.

But his heart, the entire time, is singing.