A bundle of nerves

Esme escaped the luxurious nightclub and turned to walk down the road, pulling her hood over her face before placing her hands in her pockets nonchalantly. She could tell the security guards, along with other curious eyes, were still watching her. But she kept her composure and continued to walk down the street of designer shops and expensive-looking restaurants and bars.

It wasn't until she walked for another ten minutes that she heaved a sigh of relief. Esme's clenched hands relaxed in her pockets, revealing how sweaty they had become; she gulped and sat down on a bench, momentarily covering her face as she stared down at the pavement through the gaps of her fingers.

"What in the.. Esme!? What were you thinking? You could have just dropped him off outside!" Isana finally spoke; she was almost hyperventilating. Esme knew Isana had been very close to 'taking the reins' to her body and getting them the hell out of that nightclub. But Esme was grateful her wolf placed her trust in her handling the situation.

It was probably the riskiest thing they'd done in a while, but as soon as Esme saw the nightclub, a plan formed in her mind. She helped a vampire who seemed to be quite high up in the vampire hierarchy and now, on closer inspection, was a boss to a swanky bar/ nightclub, and Esme was in need of a job.

"Nope! Absolutely not!" Her wolf instantly disagreed.

"I think it's a great plan-"

"I think you've finally lost it. How would it work?! They hate you; we hate them!" Isana exclaimed her disagreement.

"It's probably the safest place to be. Who would ever think to search for a werewolf at a vampire bar?" Esme smiled mischievously as she stood back up again, her chest felt light, and her footsteps almost danced across the pavement to a happy tune only she could hear.

It was the perfect cover, and even if she was found, which she thought was highly unlikely, then there were buses and trains she could take. Everything would be fine, she could keep her backpack safely with her, and if she needed a quick escape, nobody would miss her. Niko probably guessed she was a rogue and wouldn't care if she suddenly stopped showing up.

"You.. you have a death wish! You literally just faked all that bravado! I mean, yeah, we could take a few of them on but come on! You know what, I don't think he will let you work there anyway, it's not good for business. It's not good for …" Isana continued to ramble on and on, listing all the reasons why working at ONYX would be a bad idea. All the while, Esme ignored it and let her voice become background noise as she continued to head home.

The whole time she walked down the streets of Chester, Esme had been on high alert for hunters roaming the city. She felt uneasy but then reminded herself they'd be looking for vampires, not a lone wolf. Isana had slowly begun to go quiet, and her distress by working at ONYX became a minuscule issue compared to the humans who hunted beings like her.

But Esme returned to her apartment without any more issues. She closed the door behind her, bolting it shut aggressively. The four locks on the door made her feel a little better, though they wouldn't do much against a werewolf's strength. At that thought, Esme stole a glance through the peephole, her paranoia rising again, but after some time, she released her breath and turned away.

Esme placed her keys on the kitchen counter along with the knife hidden under her coat. Even with the lights off, she could clearly see her apartment in the darkness; it was one of the many highlights of being a werewolf. Isana smirked arrogantly at this, making Esme roll her eyes and relax her tense body further.

She stopped by the side of the bath staring at her new couch in the corner of the room near the patio doors. It was an L shaped leather sofa in white without so much as a scratch on it. It looked brand new and odd in her dank apartment. Esme kept looking between the couch and the bathtub along with the rest of the apartment, shaking her head in disbelief.

She pulled her phone out, ready to message Lenny but rolled her eyes at the dead battery. She plugged her charger in at the kitchen wall and left her phone on the countertop, charging before making her way to the sofa and undressing. She sighed, remembering her underwear and bra were ripped to pieces from shifting earlier.

Putting her thoughts aside about buying another bra, Esme pulled the bloodied blanket out of her backpack with a frown. She dropped it onto the tiled floors before grabbing her pyjamas and changing into them. They weren't anything special, an old t-shirt and some pink chequered trousers. She started getting ready for bed, cleaning her face and teeth in the small bathroom before returning and placing everything back in the bag.

Now that her blanket was sullied with vampire blood, Esme put a hoodie and woolly hat on for warmth and grabbed her coat before rechecking her phone. After holding down the power button, it was on, revealing the time to be 12:05am. Esme opened her messages and texted Lenny a quick thank you before tapping down the arrow key on her contacts list.

Her thumb hovered over the green phone button as she leaned onto the countertop staring at the contact name: Mum. "I don't think that's a good idea. You can never sleep after," Isana whispered in her mind.

At her wolf's words, Esme flipped the phone shut and left it on the counter before collapsing on the sofa, pulling the coat over her as she leaned her head on the comfy armrest, staring outside the glass patio doors and the glimmering city lights beyond it. "It's not like we sleep that well anyway," Esme murmured through a yawn. She may be sleepy, but she feared what the night would bring, her mind was a chaotic battlefield, and when it finally caved to her body's need to rest, she would be pulled into nightmares of her repressed memories.

Esme swallowed past a lump forming in her throat, and she subconsciously reached for the rubber band on her wrist, pulling it back and letting it slap her skin. Esme took a long, deep breath in then let her mind wander to something much nicer. For a moment, she stared at the tall buildings in the distance and daydreamed about living in one of those fancy apartments, her life utterly normal, working a 9-5 job with nobody after her. Esme would return and make a meal not made from noodles or meat from hunting. Then after a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book, she'd relax on a sofa similar to the one she was lying on now, curled up next to a lovely man and watching Webflix before making love.

Esme sighed at her little fantasy.

"Nah, who needs all that? It sounds boring," Isana joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

Esme scoffed. "Yeah.. boring indeed." She sighed and placed her right arm over her eyes, "I'm just.. tired."

Tired of this life.

She was no longer suicidal; in fact, even thinking of that day made her angry. Angry at herself and resentful for being pushed to that point. No, she was tired of being on the run.

Esme pulled her arm away from her face and stared at her burnt, repulsive skin. Her lips twisted, and her eyes hardened from the sight as her chest burned in hatred and betrayal. The mark on her chest began to throb, and she hissed at the sharp, burning sensation. A sensation she was all too familiar with now.

Esme ignored it and rolled onto her side, staring back at the cold, dark apartment. She blinked slowly, letting the darkness call to her. She breathed deeply, letting her heart calm and become a steady rhythm she could listen to before sleep.

Esme's breath caught in her throat, her eyes bulged, and she buckled her hips, flailing her hands, panic creeping into her being. She struggled against the weight holding her hips down, his large hands wrapped around her neck and squeezed.

An intruder was in her room. How did they find her?!

She tried to pry away his hands, her claws cutting into his skin.

"You dirty whore!"

That voice..

Esme bolted upright, her body stiff as she gasped and clasped at her neck, staring ahead of her as tears fell down her cheeks. The loud, chaotic, thumping sound of her heart drowned out any noise around her.

"Esme."

She couldn't remember her night full of terrors, but she could still feel his large hands squeezing her neck. No matter where she went, he still followed her.

"Esme!"

And those cruel green eyes stared down at her as she went blue in the face.

"Esme! We are safe!"

Safe..

Esme swallowed loudly, relaxing her hands by her sides as she took slow deep breaths and dared to look at her surroundings. Her gaze automatically went to the patio doors, then to the front door that was still bolted shut, the windows shut, the curtains hiding away the shabby flats across from her. The warmth of the sunlight streaming through the patio doors kissed the side of her face, and she closed her eyes, relishing it and the serenity it cocooned her in.

"Thank you, Isana," Her whisper was barely audible, her voice hoarse as she pulled her coat away from her body. She looked back to staring outside, taking note of how early it still was.

"Early bird catches the worm!" Isana tried and failed at sounding joyful.

Although she was up early, Esme didn't laze about. It wasn't in her nature; her mind would never allow her to relax. She always felt the need to do something. Esme returned to her usual routine, a routine she never stopped lest she went mad. She changed into her leggings and a long-sleeved baggy top and started to do her morning workout.

500 push-ups, 500 sit-ups, and a 30 mile run later, and Esme returned in her apartment sweaty, refreshed, and the city mapped out and cemented in her mind now. She pulled out the blue water bottle and a small collapsible measuring cup.

Esme poured 100ml of the clear liquid into the cup, mentally bracing herself before downing it in one. Her lips, tongue and throat burned; she could feel the liquid pour down to her stomach and spread like wildfire through her body. But within seconds, it simmered and died down. She swallowed and was thankful for still feeling her tongue.

"Isana?"

"Still here."

Good. Esme had a high resistance to wolfsbane, the clear liquid she just downed like a shot of vodka. It was toxic to werewolves, making them weak, blocking the link to their wolf and the ability to shift and heal. Many werewolves were not aware that drinking the contents daily over the course of a month onwards started to build one's resistance up. It burned like a bitch, and nobody would be willing to do such a thing even if it was well known.

Her mother passed on the little trick to her when she first started to train with her wolf. But her choice not to partake in 'resistance training' to wolfsbane was something she deeply regretted later. Now, Esme had been drinking it daily for two years, increasing the dose gradually.

After quickly washing and changing into her cargo pants, a long-sleeved top and trainers again, she pulled her hair back into a half-up hairstyle held together with a clip, leaving two strands of hair, one each side of her face falling down to her chin. Throwing on her rain jacket, she pulled the hood up and left the apartment with her backpack.

For the rest of the day, she shopped for parts needed for her apartment, little things like a shower curtain, a side lamp, a kettle, a new blanket, and household items like washing powder, toilet roll, the usual shit. Esme also returned to the coffee shop with the kind old lady from the previous night, finding comfort in her smile and chatty persona before doing a mini food shop and returning to the apartment. By the time she sorted her new belongings out, ate some potted noodles and read a newspaper, the sky had fallen dark, and she was ready to go see her new friend.