Chapter 31

And then, of course, the thought of luckbrought me back to the ninesof the Tarot reading. What wasluck, anyway? Random good events? But those four nines! It seemed—it felt, that was as far as I could go—it felt like wheels within wheels, all acting in some kind of way, to produce—what? Patterns? Influence? Yes, it did feel like influence—but at this I laughed. The idea was all so silly.

Or was it? Then I thought of what Pat had said, suggesting that I let go. I groaned and grabbed my head with both hands.

“It’s going to explode,” I murmured. “I’m going to go insane.”

And then, surprisingly, I felt a great sense of relief at that last thought.

Insane? Was that the answer? What wasinsane?Insane, I thought. Means—not dealing with reality. Okay. Something like that. And what does thatmean?