Chapter 7: This Really Couldn't Get Any Worse

Luca props himself up on his elbows over me, a frown wrinkling the perfect skin on his forehead. Somewhere along the edges of my panic, I'm dimly aware of Isaac calling, "Cut!"

I shove at Luca's chest again, and he sits up all the way. I gasp for breath, but I still feel as if a great weight is bearing down on me. As if my thumping heart is blocking my throat.

Luca runs a hand through his golden hair. I can't tell if he's frustrated or not.

"Can we get her robe over here?" he says.

Shit - I'm still freaking topless.

I quickly cross my arms across my chest, trying to block what I can, but everyone in this room has seen my nipples by now. A few seconds later, Briana rushes forward with my robe in her hands. She drapes it over my body as Luca helps me sit up. Now Isaac is beside us, too.

"What the hell is going on?" our director demands. "What happened?"

This is the part where I offer up some lame excuse. But I can't find the words.

Fortunately, Luca comes to my aid.

"When I was shifting to undo her shorts, I accidentally leaned on her sternum," he says. "Knocked the air right out of her."

Isaac's expression softens slightly as he looks at me. "You okay?"

"Fine," I manage to choke out.

"Well, take a minute to catch your breath, then let's get right back to it." Isaac's eyes flick between us again. "You'd think you two would have this part down by now."

As he walks back to his chair, I look up at Luca.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

He's still eyeing me suspiciously. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine. I just...needed a minute." I take a deep breath. Then another. "I'm good now."

I can't tell if he believes me, but it doesn't really matter either way. I look over at Isaac. "Where do you want us to start?"

"Where you were," he says.

Nodding, I try to smile. I pull the robe off of my shoulders and toss it off the set to Briana, trying to ignore the nip of the cool air against my breasts as I lie back down on the ground. A couple of seconds later, Luca leans over me again, once more taking his position on top of me.

I try not to think about what we're doing or all of the people watching us. Instead, I attempt to focus on the tiny details - the weird new scent Luca is wearing, the warmth of his breath against my neck, the roughness of the floor against my back. I wrap my arms around him, trying to give myself over to Isabel and the things she must be experiencing at this moment. Hunger. Need. Desperation.

I curl my fingers against Luca's back, digging my nails into his skin. He deepens his kiss as his hands move back down my body toward my shorts. My chest starts to tighten again, but I try to sink back fully into Izzy's head. To let go of the anxiety that has me in its clutches.

I tighten my grip on Luca and arch my back, lifting my hips. He groans in response, a sound that reverberates straight through my skin wherever our bodies touch. His hand is on my belt again, pulling it out of the way of my fly. Then he's undoing my zipper, and his fingers are brushing against the bare skin beneath...

My body freezes. Again.

Luca must notice right away, because his hand stops its path deeper into my shorts. Instead, he moves his face to my ear once more.

"Arch your back again," he murmurs to me.

I try to do as he says, even though it feels stiff. My body doesn't want to listen to me.

"Good," he whispers. "Now moan."

My throat threatens to close up. Come on, Em. You've spent the last two weeks practicing this. Just moan.

But the sound won't come. And the panic is closing in again, drowning Izzy out completely. I tear my face away from Luca's, gasping for breath as I shove him away once more.

With a sigh, he sits up on top of me. In the distance, Isaac yells, "Cut!" again.

"I'm sorry," I say as Briana rushes forward with my robe. "I...I don't know what's going on."

Isaac is rubbing his forehead as he approaches. "Emilia, you're killing me here."

"Can we take five?" Luca asks. "I'll talk to her."

Isaac grunts. "Five minutes and not a second more. We're behind schedule."

Part of me cringes at the idea of Luca "talking" me out of this, but another part of me is grateful that he's bought me a few extra minutes to compose myself.

"Come on," he says, rising from the floor. "Let's go have a chat." He holds his hand out to me.

To the rest of the studio, it looks like Luca is about to give his beloved fiancée an encouraging pep talk. I suspect, though, that I'm about to get a lecture about not blowing our cover.

Tentatively, I take his hand and let him help me to my feet. As he walks me off the set, Briana rushes forward with a cup of ice water, and I take it gladly, happy I'll have something to do with my hands during our little chat.

Luca takes me to a quiet corner, behind some lighting equipment. With every step, my stomach sinks a little deeper. He has every right to be frustrated, I know. I've fucked up. The role I play with Luca is just as important to my career as the one I play on set.

When we're alone, Luca releases my hand.

"Look," I say. "Before you say anything, I know. I know I just need to calm down and get my head on straight." I let out a long breath. "I'm sorry for freaking out like that. It's just that this is my first sex scene and I've completely psyched myself out." It doesn't sound very professional, but it's the truth. "I know this is important, especially because of...us."

Luca's face is blank as he looks down at me. I can't tell whether he's exasperated or whether he feels sorry for me, and I'm not sure which one would make me feel worse. Again, I see the subtle signs of stress on his features, but for the life of me, I can't decide what that means.

Finally, he straightens. "Well, what can I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What can I do to make it easier for you? Because if you keep clamming up every time I touch you, people out there are going to get suspicious." He cocks his head. "Is it something specific that I'm doing? Because frankly, women don't usually have an issue with how I - "

"No, nothing like that," I say, my ears going hot. "But I wish you'd warned me you were going to be late today. Where were you? Everyone was asking me questions I couldn't answer."

"It's a long story," he says with a flippant shrug. "But are you really telling me that's why you're having trouble out there? Be honest - what's this really about?"