Hazelnut

There was something about that day, well over a decade ago and it left a mark on how I had to live through the days to come. There was something to love about it as the grey skies gave way to serenity to reshape the world I knew four years in.

And of course, there is something to remember about it, yet it slipped through my fingers easily like sand. The shared sorrow shading the many faces as we watched a delicate woodwork carefully get lowered beneath the earth recurred the fear of an open wound. As was the freshly turned soil which gave a musty scent swearing to swallow it whole as nature continued to bleed.

That was learning to understand, wasn't it. Had I known gaining happened for loss then I could've chosen to stay young. Grief has an unbearable weight and it wasn't long before I noticed that from mother herself.

"It will be okay." By all means they tried to make her believe so. But how was a gentle brush on the back and enfolding her in a biased comfort supposed to maintain her life and the next?

A couple of months of being widowed, things had gone back to normal

"Which story would you like for tonight." Mother asked as she pulled a chair for herself to sit on between my bed and my new roommate's cot. She raised a book in hand to show me the cover I probably knew down to the last detail. "Extraordinary Dimension Explorers!" I exclaimed in a usual pitch of excitement.

"Now, now sonny you have to let your brother choose." She said.

"Aw but I'm sure he'll love it." I said whilst kneeling on the bed in a persuasive gesture of begging. Something adopted as muscle memory by now thanks to the love for icecream.

At that, she sighed and pulls the blankets over my chest again. "All right, I'll read it to you two," She swiftly switched to a much serious ton to say, "on one condition though."

'Whenever I choose to delve into my happy worlds of fantasy, the realms of endless summers, Lin gets to come along with me. Never leave him behind, never let him out of sight. That was the vow tied to the stars...'

Eagerly nodding, I was fully on board with the prospect of getting to explore the wonders with him. What more could a kid ask for? Signing a contract of an unconditional bond with a brother - my brother!made it worthwhile to care.

Snapping back to reality after a flashback that felt like an eternity, I was started to realise that the scene long unfolded before my swollen eyes had not changed.

Make no mistake, he didn't like flowers. He didn't like goodbyes. He could've at least left after one last afternoon chat about some fairytale bliss. But Lin was Lin, tough nut to crack but sweet in the inside.

'We could have fought for it all, little did I know the world would suddenly choose to pick you off of your branch!'

Our world, our brotherhood is something to hold on to lest burying it alongside him that day.

And he really disliked flowers, so owing him something that'll bloom I swore to visit him every now and then.

At most that would never wither away, wouldn't that be true?