I'm Insane

'Attempt FAILED: Please await further instruction.'

The words appeared in my peripheral vision and slowly began dissolving within seconds of me comprehending exactly what it said. My eyes refocused, immediately being met with the incessant, familiar white nothingness. A tremble began in the tips of my fingers, as I shakingly moved my arms up to my chest. Closing my eyes, I took in a slow, deep breath as my hands moved, expecting to connect with the warmth of my bare skin.

However, that hole of disappointment began to form once more in my stomach as the pads of my fingers recognized the cold, silky fabric falling from my chest. The fabric I had torn. The fabric I had used in an attempt to end my life. The fabric that should not have been there.

"You know, you can't always be so illogical."

The voice rang throughout the void, traveling through my ears as its deep, coarse tone sent a mere shiver down my spine. Or perhaps, the shiver was from my blood suddenly running cold. My eyes dashed from nonexistent corner to corner of the void, hopelessly expecting to see something, anything. As each second of seeing nothing but the emptiness passed, the hole in my stomach deepened, feeling as if an eternal weight had been set on it.

"You seem uneasy Bia," I jumped back, whipping my head from side to side trying to identify the direction the voice was coming from, "how can we ease your nerves?"

My deepening pit expanded from my stomach to my chest as it began to cave in. The combination of my uneasy breathing and inability to understand what was happening around me suddenly became too much to handle, and as it settled upon myself that my previously bland forever was something more than the inevitable end, the darkness took over everything that I was once more—this time, unintentionally. The last thing I felt was the tickle of the air brushing against my skin as my body had fallen limp to the ground below.

…

I once called this place heavenly, now I'm sure it was hell. A never-ending loop of nothingness, I can't escape it. No matter what I do, I always end up back at square one.

"So, we've established that you don't like not knowing what's going on around you," The coarse voice spoke again, this time with no omniscient ring throughout the void. Slowly, my mind pinpointed the location of the voice, as my head turned slightly to my left side, "you're somewhat of a control freak, right?".

He wore a black suit. An expensive, black suit, perfectly tailored to fit each sculpted edge of his tall, lean body. His light brown hair, pushed back by a pair of black sunglasses. I imagined its length if he were to let it fall, maybe just reaching the bottoms of his eyes. His skin was pale, seeming as if it rarely saw the sun. An entertained smirk lived on his lips as he called me a 'control freak', had he been pleased with himself? I continued to move my eyes up, and in doing so I was met with soft, deep pools of brown. He was a handsome man, no question about it, he had this classic look to him that I couldn't pinpoint.

He shifted on his feet, establishing his position upon noticing my gaze on him, "Are you, Bia, a control freak?"

I opened my mouth, no words coming out, possibly a result of my going crazy. Looking down at my feet, I laughed, shaking my head and smiling. This wasn't real, and I was just insane. This gorgeous man in a tailored suit didn't just appear out of thin air in a white void.

"It's never good to call ourselves 'insane', it paints a frail picture of oneself in their subconscious mind."

My eyes snapped back up in his direction, "Excuse me?"

He cleared his throat, taking a singular step in my direction as he did so, "You called yourself insane."

I was surprised to not hear the sound of my jaw hitting the floor as he confirmed the borderline impossible conclusion my mind had come up with, "How do you know that?"

Taking another step towards me, "Because, you just said it."

"I-I didn't say it to you," I replied, the shake in my voice weakening my response. I took my own step backward, making his movements counterproductive.

"Right, you didn't say it to me," his voice became etched with a sly, know-it-all tone as another step in his glossy black shoes was made in my direction. Swallowing the familiar lump in my throat, I began to take my own step back once more. I look to the ground watching my footing as I do so, then raise my eyes back up only to see nothing but the white void in my peripheral vision.

"But you also didn't tell me I was handsome either, did you?", The warmth of his breath brushed my right ear as I felt my back press into his hard, warm chest. His lips grazed the skin on the tip of my ear as he spoke, causing a tingle to run down my spine, dispersing itself at the small of my back. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he taunted me with his words, he knew the game he was playing, and I was falling into every single one of his traps.

Falling forward on my feet, I stumbled away from him. Apparently, this was not the action I was supposed to take. As I tried to maneuver away, his hand reached out and caught my left wrist, causing me to turn on my heel, placing me face to face, mere inches away from him.

"You're difficult, on top of being a control freak," He taunted me once more. Maybe it was the overwhelming fear and anxiety that had been developing in each passing moment, but after that comment, I had finally reached my breaking point. Pursing my lips into a tight line, I drew my right arm back from its previously limp position at my side. With every shred of force I could muster up at that moment, I threw my right palm against his perfectly sculpted cheek, only hoping to ruin it. The skin of my palm collided with that of the rough, stubbled skin on his cheek, my nails catching it as I moved through the motion. After finishing the path and leaving my desired mark on his no longer impeccable complexion, I felt no sense of satisfaction, if anything a new hole opened in my stomach, one of fear.

His face had moved to looking at the ground, no longer upholding his sly smirk, but now his mouth slightly ajar. He shifted his jaw, rubbing the left side with his thumb. While doing so, he looked up into my eyes. Those soft, deep pools of brown had shifted to blank neverending pits of black.

"No wonder they cast you out of the overworld, you don't know how to fucking act."