Part 20: In a new country

In that deep, strange lethargy her mind went again to the time when she and her mother lived in a rented house that the father reluctantly paid for. Of course, with the help of Luz's mother. Reluctantly the father agreed to let the mother practice her profession as a teacher.

Before the father's machismo was his conviction to keep his money to the maximum.

The day after the death of Luz's second cat. Her mother decided to let her mourn her not allowed pet. She had no heart to reprimand or punish her for bringing an animal into the house.

"I'd rather have your damn screaming than be left alone again."

What the mother could not stand was that way of replying on her daughter's part and threw a slap at her. Seconds later she apologized to her daughter, but the latter ran out to the small battered garden to dig a small hole with her hands and bury there the inert body of my compatriot.

That was the idea, but she found lying near a rock the pistol with which her cat Benito had been murdered. He was going to touch it, but all those police documentaries about crimes crossed his mind. Her mother especially loved the part where the psychologists were talking. For Luz there was no doubt that her mother would have liked to be a psychologist, she had a strange obsession and admiration for madness and tragic pasts.

What Luz had learned from watching so many documentaries of this type is that one should not grab anything from the crime scene without gloves; so she used the ones her mother used in the kitchen.

However, she felt the footsteps of another being approaching, so she decided to hide in the bushes. It was the big man from yesterday, Alexis' father.

Luz had to contain her anger when she saw him stepping on the tail of her cat's corpse. She wanted to report him for murder. However, little Luz stepped on a twig on the ground. That small sound was enough for the man to look directly into the bush, or rather, directly into her eyes.

Luz ran out from behind, but the man knew not to make any noise or he would attract the attention of an early bird neighbor. The man opted to take the small corpse of the cat and when Luz saw it she stood still in horror.

"Don't scream, just give me the gun. Good girls don't grab guns."

Luz had just that intention, but those words made her remember how much she hated those same words in her father's mouth.

Ultimately, she wasn't going to scream. There was no way she was going to feel in front of a stranger like her mother did with her father.

"Stay away and leave my cat."

Luz pointed the gun at him trying to mimic the guys that appeared in the police videos they showed on the shows the mother watched when she thought her daughter was asleep.

For a man who had gone to war and now worked in a secret lab for the state; fear has a particularly satisfying smell to his ego.

Suddenly, the barking of a dog takes her by surprise and the man comes close enough to take the gun from her, but Luz pulled the trigger before releasing it.

The neighbor's dog and Luz's mother went to the back of the house. Some neighbors woke up in panic and opened their windows to witness the event.

The bullet grazed the right half of her head and she could not help but scream and cry. Everything became blurry, her eyes blurred with her own tears.

Even so, she could see that her mother could do nothing and Alexis' father fled through the woods behind their house.

She felt her mother approaching, felt the horror in that embrace that was meant to be intense and deep. But for Luz it was just another attitude of a woman who is a mother.

Something was not right with Luz's vision, she only saw shadows made of water around her. Her mother was part of her recent world of transparent shadows. Hers was a viscous shadow, but fluid at the same time. I would not dare to define it with the term semi-solid because with the nature of mothers you always have to be very careful.

But, leaving that aside, this world of transparent shadows is nothing more than a portal for the wind or air that exists in the present in Luz's mind to mingle with the wind of the past. Past and present become one.

I and all that exists within the mind of Light are invaded by the transparent shadows. And this time not even words will be able to keep the air out of me....

AN UNKNOWN TIME LATER

The words make up the oxygen that her soul needs, but that is only true if the shadows are as black as on Earth. After all, words are earthly inventions.

Although it is the only one that is colorless, odorless, tasteless and that man cannot really touch; but water can run through the exterior and interior of every living being, including humans.

Water has memory and is the only existing being that has not mutated in all the centuries of The Earth. That is why it has the ability to combine the times and make them one in the human mind that needs it, and unconsciously, resort to it.

Luz's mother has given her water every day (or for as long as she can remember) of her life until the poor thing almost felt her little belly burst.

If I may be exaggerating a bit, it's because my little tapatío eyes can barely open. Give me time, it is as if I have come out of a shipwreck in which I have not died because the paranoid essence has protected me and I believe it is sponsored by that dark being.

No, actually I don't believe, I am sure because the essence led me to him. Besides, when one totally and absolutely loses consciousness, only an overwhelming black is reflected in the whole unconscious panorama.

Right now my vision is plagued by that enigmatic and attractive color for an innocent and curious mind. Of course, it is unraveling so that it gradually allows me to locate myself.

To tell the truth, I observe the reflections of small hands that are on a small body. It is Luz awkwardly trying to walk for the first time. She gets up and falls down again, until she decides that she has already tried many times and it is time to limit herself to crawling.

She appears to be crawling over a small puddle on a gravel path. Each puddle she pushes away from the sidewalk allows me to see more of where she is and so do I.

"I know little babies are free spirited, but that's enough experimenting for today.

I love you so much that even I'm going to end up dirty for your little body in my arms too...just because it's therapeutic mud from the city of Proustilvill."

Luz's mother had won a visa lottery for her and her whole family. At that time, it was just her and little Luz. At that time Luz's mother and father were separated by continuous disagreements.

Luz's mother was determined to have a new beginning to raise her daughter in the best possible way.

Both would stay in Proustville until Luz was no longer a baby. Unless she became pregnant again. In that case they would stay until the second daughter was no longer a baby.

In this country there were specific places of courtship, only there could the falling in love take place. Most men worked in the seafaring industry because it was the most prolific in earnings.

On the other hand, if Luz and her little sister stayed there until first grade, they would have to attend boarding school all through high school. The mother did not like the idea of having her little family disintegrate before their time. The mother only thought of having one daughter: Luz.

In Proustilville the women did not want to get pregnant and most of the population consisted of older adults. That is why they needed more people in the country. They had a special appreciation for pregnant women or mothers with very young children in the family.

This country was a creation of man, where sun, land and sea were artificial. They said they had found resources on certain islands to make a copy of nature. They had realized the special importance of having a good dose of innocence, honesty, respect and love in this place.

Hence the pressing need for babies and pregnant women.

That puddle in which Luz tried to walk has healing powers such as: healing, antiviral, antifungal, moisturizing, bone and muscle strengthening, and sunscreen.

Luz's mother worked as a nanny, while taking care of her son. That day she wanted to get a little dirty before she and her little girl went into the jacuzzi in the room that the state had given her for free for a couple of months.

She was willing to work hard and evenly to pay the state for her lodging expenses.

It was like a dream, tomorrow she would start working in the fields, where women urgently wanted nannies to take care of their naughty children. She wasn't worried, if she could take care of a child as energetic and curious as hers, she could handle anyone.

Besides, children of that age were too sweet for her. They took her back to her happy childhood. Her first six years were the ones when she had her mother alive and the only years when she felt as mischievous and fun as a child. In those years nothing was impossible, someday she would create a magic carpet for the two of them to fly beyond imagination.

"You my baby, you must know what lies beyond imagination and I know that someday you will dare to tell me.

You inspire me to reach out to infinity and beyond."

An indescribable feeling overwhelmed the new mother, even if she looked for innocence in her daughter; the truth is that the mother herself possessed it.

The next day, the mother and Luz set out on the great serpentine path. That road was a shortcut to reach the field. But what had encouraged the mother to go with her daughter in the kangaroo along that route was the possibility of tasting the magnetism of this book of stories that Marisa had given her at the baby shower.

This path would only advance if the interested person managed to make contact with the venom of the snake. There were many ways, but Luz's mother trusted her friend's intelligence. After all, she was the only one of the three who could get into medical school. To get into that career it is necessary to do almost all of the entrance exam well.

This artificial earth had a sun that was made with a special snake venom. This poison contained all the evil that might want to enter this small country and distilled into the air of this land all the well-being possible.

To nourish the evil inside the sun (and to keep it from going outside in search of "food") required inducing the evil to take a certain form that contained a poignant message that would zig zag its way forward.

For the mother there was no better way to strengthen the empathy of any existing being than to tell a fairy tale. Certainly, the ones she had read from Marisa's book were very interesting to her, especially because of their verisimilitude.

Marisa always loved fantasy and said that reality should be better than fantasy, so the world would be happier. Every time she invented a story, it was as crazy as Alice in Wonderland. It was strange for Luz's mother to read a story from her that had so many connections to reality.

However, every story that was read or every song that was heard had to be remembered on its own. This because everything once recognized and used is eliminated.

In the case of the stories that Luz's mother had read, each and every one of them disappeared from this material world by self-incinerating. Each sheet of paper containing the stories already read caught fire out of nowhere. The words turned the dull yellow color of snake venom.

It could be said that everything that the snakes liked, and was an inanimate object, was at the end of the snakes.

That is why the few children that existed did not play with their toys until the sun left and the moon entered to take its place in the kingdom of heaven.

Luz's mother could only remember things by singing, so she created a song for each little story that summarized its essence and deepened its message.

As she sang the road seemed to dance with her zig zag movements. These went between slow and fast, fluid and with breaks; but always moving forward, making their way through the rocks and hills that were meant to frighten and dry the throat. Knowing this, the mother came prepared. She had already drunk her two liters of warm water before coming.

Until the end of the road the mother felt happy to be able to sing at ease, without any shame. Besides, there was plenty of sunshine, but it was warm and cozy.

warm and cozy.

She went through a tunnel (the final stop of the snake's path) in the middle of the hill and when she came out she found a meadow of multicolored flowers.

The mother lay down on the grass and the roses nearby came up to her to cling to her silhouette. Everything was so magical in that country that the mother fell into a deep sleep.

Even so, with the sun bathing her face with candor and unconsciousness, tears flowed from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks and the wind blew them to the grass and the flowers.

Those tears ran all over the meadow with a zig zag movement, like the curves in a woman's soul.

"Good morning, beautiful sleepyhead."

Marisa held in her hands a tray with two bunches of grapes, sage bread and a couple of glasses of rose water. This water was made from the same roses that had clung to her silhouette in the meadow.

This was the estate of Marisa who had also invited her other best friend, Amanda, Alexis' mother.

Marisa insisted that the meadow would take care of both little ones, almost a year old, while they gossiped here and there. Of course, nothing untoward could be said about anyone. In that country it was only feasible to share people's achievements and rejoice for the good of others. The three friends found it all too easy to do so.

Luz's mother felt that happiness was something so easy to discover in that place. At that moment she thought of her husband. He who always asked what was the secret of happiness, if it is really real or if it is just another illusion of the naive man.

There were too many differences between them to overlook it. Although she dreaded the moment when her daughter would ask about her father.

What would she tell him?

She didn't want to ruin her daughter's childhood with her father's problems.

Marisa could tell that Luz's mother was keeping her problems to herself; just as she could tell how talkative Alexis's mother was.

They were both friends of hers, but they were very different and so she liked them both very much.

"...it's just that good fortune abounds in them, whereas it abounds in me. I don't know, I think the bliss I left here with got infected with all the problems of the real world."

Marisa almost dropped her teacup when she heard Alexis' mother's comment.

"Real world? Are you not in the real world anymore or can't your little human eyes admit so much magnificence in our deadly real world?"

No doubt the two friends noticed Marisa's discomfort. She did not like to be considered unreal a world that she herself had helped to build with a lot of effort, work and sacrifice.

"No, calm down, what Tiff has been trying to say is that those months of pregnancy we spent here were so beautiful that they seem unreal. This world is like a dream come true. Really, your mind doesn't seem human or from this planet. Before, it would have been impossible to think that human beings could create their own country without it feeling so mechanical. You have made the artificial feel so natural.

Without a doubt, no one can deny it, your mind seems to come from another world."

Marisa smiled with the typical candor that always flows from her, her sweetness is innate.

"Yes, that's true, and something new is that inside this house if we can talk about our problems like blabbermouths without affecting nature. Mind you, but only about problems that have to do with us."

Sitting around a little blue table in the living room, Alexis' mother was the first one who couldn't resist the urge to talk until she felt anxious that someone would listen to her.

That tiny rule was the only problem she saw in that artificial nature. That woman loved friendships to share the good and the bad in life. For her, problems are lighter when you tell someone else about them.

"I don't want him to turn our son into an insensitive man addicted to guns. No, God forbid, I want him to be like a prince: gentlemanly, tender, educated, intelligent and very romantic."

There was a nostalgic gleam in the eyes of the woman who, unconsciously, had her hands clasped together as if she were making a prayer.

"Doesn't that strike you as something very unreal and very oppressive?

I think children should be what they want to be."

Luz's mother was at times frightened by her friend's exacting standards, but there was no changing her mind. Stubbornness was innate in Alexis' mother.

"Everyone knows how to raise children. Besides, I'm ridding him of that insensitive, anti-romantic male gene that doesn't appreciate sweetness and candor.

Believe me, my daughter-in-law will thank me for it.

Do you know how many girls suffer for being deceived by a devil with an angelic smile?

The dog just gets them pregnant and leaves them lying around like an old rag. They've already emptied their filth and that's it, end of love story.

I have not given birth to a dog child, I have given life to a human child. I want him to feel, I want him to care about what another being wants to give only to him... Is there anything wrong with me wanting to make my son a prince with a sensitive intelligence?"

Marisa and Luz's mother looked at each other worried because it was evident that her friend had not gotten over the real father of her son.

"I know what you're thinking, but it's not true. I know that a woman is not defined by her virginity, but whether they want it or not it came with us and it's not something that should be given to the first one who crosses your path. It's just that I was... nobody warned me.

It's the same with men, they also have a virginity that they shouldn't give up for giving in to the stupid macho concept of the alpha male...".

Since they had gotten so far in that conversation, she thought it was time to talk to Alexis' mother about a subject that could not be overlooked.

"Tiff, I already have my brother's hair and I want to know if your son is my nephew once and for all.

Even if my brother doesn't want to help you, you know that me and Mary (looks at Luz's mother) are always going to support you. You don't need to pretend to be in love with that animated muscle bag in a military suit..."

Tiff's cheeks flared with anger, rage and disgust invaded her thoughts like a deadly virus.

How was she supposed to raise a prince with that attitude?

"I thought you had given us lodging in good faith, while we were looking for work Mary I, but it was already clear to me that you have other intentions just like your brother.

You're both crude animals!"

Tiffani ran off with tears in her eyes. They both supposed that she was going to pick up her son to take him away from that charming ranch, but the truth was that no one could leave that country without doing something to collaborate with the welfare of that land and the welfare of the people.

"Don't go after him, he wants me to apologize, but I won't because all I want is to be a part of my nephew's life.

Tiffani is very selfish, you see she wants to create a commoner with the heart of a prince without even asking my nephew if that's what he wants; even if the answer is obvious she prefers to skip it.

I hate to think that my nephew is an object of revenge for his mother. I fear that she unwittingly traumatizes my nephew because of the hatred she has for my brother, but if I told her that my brother was and will die a filthy dog.

Why is she acting like a teenager?

Besides, who told her to have a child at 25, the height of her youth?

Although, if I think about it for a moment (Marisa sits on the chair resting her jaw on her fist), I think that..."

Marisa sighs heavily and looks at the blue sneakers her brother gave her.

Mary couldn't bear to see sad or discouraged the people she appreciates. That's why before she went looking for a job she had to plant what she would define as a seed of understanding and empathy.

"You know, I'm sure we're the best of friends because of moments like this, when we say things to each other's faces. I think we're just full of teen spirit."

Marisa smiles sadly at remembering the most troubled years of her life.

"In adolescence mythomaniacs like my brother are born."

"But he always gave signs of what he was. She remembers that he never treated her well. He left and Tiff followed him, that's where it all happened.

Now he's a real stud and knows how to hide. When he was a teenager everyone could see what a jerk he was. In childhood you just imitate, you can't choose. The possibility to choose begins in adolescence.

I think the growing reasoning and inexperience made us more honest. I feel that quality of adolescence has stayed with the three of us.

Although Tiff carries a distinct excess that overheats her heart, and maybe that's why she feels too much...her heart beats truths."

Mary began to pat her chest as if trying to create a melody of black music. She tugged her friend by the arm to get her out of her chair and they both danced zamacueca around the room.

The blue columns of the house functioned as speakers that echoed the black music throughout the house.

The white ceiling turned pink, and so on and so forth, every color in the world colored the ceiling as if it were a disco ball.

As they increased the intensity of the movement, sweat soaked their skins like a downpour that cools and refreshes. This downpour attracted too much wind. The wind in this country was made of very fine and almost invisible roots. They loved the water because it was the only thing that reminded them of the special place where they came from and where good fortune was at its best.

The colors on the ceiling also set the rhythm of the dance steps. Sure they didn't dance as they should, but the melodies made some emotions flow inside each one like water and other emotions evolve into feelings as strange as they were fun.

The emotions were the chicks and the feelings were the high beaked hens, literally.

However, the recent movement and dynamism of these emotions were a reaction to the power these colors exerted on the unconscious of both. The emotional transit was cleared thanks to these colors that allowed the free transit of these emotions, and some of them could even mutate for the better.

The colors were, in terms of functionality, like water and this made them accomplices of the same harmless plan. Both mimicked each other with ease and emitted a falsetto that reached notes that anyone would think impossible.

The two friends were startled, although Marisa remembered a second later that it was she who had to calm down first. Especially since Mary's eyes were growing wide as her eyebrows drew together and the brown lightened to a somewhat yellowish hue.

The new, single eyebrow began to slide like an earthworm across Mary's skin. She began to scream and Marisa reminded her that this was not the first time she had experienced that.

"But you said it was only experienced once, why is it happening again?

Should I be worried?

Of course I should worry, but I have a daughter and.... "

The sweat and the blue color of the roof had merged to feed the roots that made up the wind. However, without Mary's permission the wind could not receive its food for the day.

"It's a shortcut for you to get to the area of wealthy families who require nannies as patient as you..."

Marisa didn't want to tell her that she was going to feed the wind in passing, if Mary wouldn't notice anyway.

Color is the channel through which food travels to the nearest roots. Once the food is close to a certain root, it will be able to capture it like a magnet, but only when the blue color is squeezed out, and for that it takes a short trip with a strong surprise that derives in intense and delicious emotions.

Why do you think emotions are short-lived?

Why does it take time to create an honest feeling for another person?

The wind also has its own culinary whims.

"Questions the wind will answer for you, but first...it's time to get a job cowgirl."

The single eyebrow reappears above Mary's forehead and from there it makes zig zag motions in the direction of the door, and from the door it goes straight into a ray of sunshine.

"Should I have told you that every ray is like a rope and the rope always breaks at the weakest point?

Her weakest point, her daughter... no, but... she will still be able to I know her, she is my friend, the strongest, the one who sees sadness as an impulse... the sun will unveil its color as a bridge between her soul and her daughter's."

Or maybe the sun will not reveal its light and the souls of Mary and Luz will be lost forever.

The body may be close to something, but at the same time the soul may be close to nothing.